28 Rebuilding
It takes a couple of days to see a doctor, at Luca's insistence, to confirm I'm clear to do the workout Savvy lays out for me. However, they finally cleared me yesterday, but with a stern warning to take it slow.
I open the doors to the gym, expecting silence, but instead, I'm met with the sound of grunting.
Jace is across the way at the squat rack, sweat glistening across his muscles as he finishes his set, putting the bar back on the rack with a loud clang.
He grabs the bottom of his shirt, wiping his face.
I stand there, stunned for a moment. But I shake it out of my brain.
He literally kidnapped you, bitch. Get your mind out of the gutter.
I head over to the mats to start my stretches. I keep my eyes down as I select a playlist, and the music starts in my ears.
I roll my head around slowly, feeling the muscles flex and relax. Making sure I keep my breathing deep and even. Next, moving to slow shoulder circles and light arm raises.
Within minutes, I'm sweating, winded, and slightly dizzy.
Seriously? All I did was stretch. I clench and unclench my fists, missing the feeling of sparring. I think of Tex and I can hear him telling me to take it slow. There’s no shame in rebuilding a solid foundation.
Everything hurts as I continue to stretch; everything shakes.
I grab the one-pound hand weights, and it feels ridiculous. I can feel Jace's eyes on me as he moves through his normal routine. I catch him watching me through the mirror as he tapes up his hands.
My workout drags painfully. I have to keep stopping just to breathe and drink some water. But that just fuels the anger that grows in my chest. I want to punch something, or someone. But I can't.
I get on one of the treadmills, starting a sluggish walk. The only cardio I'm allowed to do, and I watch Jace as he punches one of the heavy bags. I watch his form, the way he moves. Each hit is quick and brutal, and I know there's power behind every punch.
I watch his muscles flex and my eyes roam down his body. The coiled power has my body reacting.
How can my body still want this man after everything? I'm in the middle of trying to talk myself out of this insanity when I realize, Jace has no idea what happened last night.
Thoughts start colliding so fast they blur.
What if he knows what Dakota did? What if he's still working with Gideon and he's a triple agent? Is that even a thing?
“I can hear you thinking from here.” I hear Jace say as the song ends in my ears.
How the fuck does he do that?
“What happened? What are you not telling me?” He walks over, wiping the towel over himself and taking a swig of water.
My eyes linger on his arms as he walks.
Fucking damn.
I pull my headphones out of my ears and pause my treadmill to catch my breath.
“Did I miss the part where you became a mind reader?” I ask him, raising an eyebrow.
Jace leans against my machine.
“No, I just know you. You forget I've spent a lot of time just watching you. I know your tells.” He smiles at me and my mind short-circuits for a moment.
“Stop that.”
“Stop, what?” He raises his eyebrows.
“Looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” he chuckles.
“Like I'm still yours.” I look away from him as pain shoots through my chest.
I hear him sigh. “Just tell me what happened, Iz.”
“Last night, security caught some dude trying to sneak in to deliver a package to my room.”
I glance at Jace to watch his face, and I can see how his body goes rigid. Different muscles flexing.
“You obviously opened it.” His voice stays controlled.
“Yeah”
“What was inside?”
“Pictures.” I take a drink of water. I grip the treadmill so hard my knuckles turn white. “Pictures of my mom, then of Dakota and Daniel, and me in Gideon's basement. With Dakota cutting into me.”
The silence is heavy between us as the words sink in.
“Dakota and Daniel?” Jace gives me a confused expression. “Like together, as if she's with him?”
I lower my chin once, and I'm not sure I won’t gag if I open my mouth.
“Wait,” Jace’s hand shoots out to my arm. “There’s something I found out while undercover with Gideon.”
“Okay.”
“Gideon’s been working with Daniel for a lot longer than we thought. He’s the reason why Lucian couldn’t find you. Anytime anyone had intel on you, they would die on missions. Gideon was the reason why.”
“What?” I swallow the lump in my throat. Goosebumps breaking over my skin. His words sound like they're echoing in my ears.
They hit me so hard that I take a step back, my legs give out from underneath me.
“Isobel, hey!” Jace moves to catch me before I can fall.
The thoughts race in my head again. Jace is running a hand up and down my back as he holds me.
I breathe in his familiar scent, mixed with his sweat. My head starts to feel fuzzy for a whole different reason. I push against his chest gently.
“Isobel.” Jace's voice is rough.
“I still can't, Jace. I can’t trust you.”
“I understand that, but please give me the chance to show you. To earn your trust back. I know it won't be easy, but please don't shut me out.” I don't think I've ever heard his voice plead before. Well, only when we… ahem, never mind.
“The last time you asked me to trust you… I ended up being tortured for five months.”
The silence stretches between us.
“We should talk with Lucian,” Jace suggests.
I nod. “I'll meet you there after I shower.” I move to sit on a bench.
Closing my eyes, I take some deep breaths, feeling my feet on the solid floor.
“Isobel?”
I hum, keeping my eyes closed.
“Is everything okay with you?” Jace's voice is closer now. He must've crouched in front of me.
“Just a little dizzy.”
“Are you even supposed to be here?” He raises an eyebrow, giving me a knowing look.
“I was cleared yesterday.” I give him back my own look, “I'm following what Savvy said. She did say dizziness would be normal. I need a few minutes before I walk back to the house and upstairs.”
Jace's eyes search mine and then scan my body. He turns around, remaining crouched in front of me. “Hop on.”
“What?” I laugh. “You can't be serious.”
“I'm being completely serious.” Jace looks at me over his shoulder. “We need to talk to Lucian, the sooner the better. Let me just give you a ride back to your room. Save your energy for standing in the shower.” He smirks.
“Oh, fuck off.” I can't help the smile that grows across my face.
“You love me.” Jace's face drops when he realizes what he said. “Sorry, I fell back into old habits.”
I nod slowly, staring down at my hands.
Jace taps my knee. “Will you stop being stubborn and let me give you a ride? Let me do this for you, please.”
I stare at Jace, then at the doors, visualizing the walk back to the house and up the stairs to my room. The thought alone makes me tired.
“Fine,” I concede. “Just because the thought of the walk sounds exhausting right now, and my muscles are screaming for no reason.” I slide forward and hook my arms around Jace, then wrap my legs around him.
His hands slide under my legs as he stands up with ease. He adjusts his grip, ensuring that he's got a good hold on me before walking out the gym doors.
When Jace stops at my bedroom door, he lowers me gently to the ground, and I slide down his back. The walk here was mostly silent—both of us wrapped in our own thoughts—and now that we’re standing on opposite sides of this moment, the words I thought I had prepared dissolve in my throat.
I shift my weight, staring at my feet. “Thanks… for carrying me.”
“I’m always here for you, Isobel.” His voice is soft. “Please know that.”
I keep my back turned to him, my hand hovering over the door handle. I want to say something—anything—that will make sense of the chaos in my chest. But the words refuse to come.
So, I push through the doors and close them behind me, not daring to look at his expression.
I stand there for a moment, spine pressed against the wood, trying to tame the wild beat of my heart. Then I cross the room and head for the bathroom, needing something to ground myself.
I turn on the faucet and let the tub fill with steaming water, adding bubbles and soap. The scent is warm and comforting—vanilla and something floral.
When I slide into the bath, the heat wraps around my aching body, melting tension I didn’t even realize I was holding.
Since moving back to Ashthorne Hall, long baths have become my sanctuary.
Hot water heals more than just muscles. Sometimes it feels like the only thing keeping me stitched together.
I rest my head against the rim, eyes drifting closed. And, of course, my traitorous brain goes straight to him.
To Jace.
To before, when it was just us and I still believed I could trust him with every part of me. A part of me aches to go back to that time, to that version of myself who was happy and stupidly, recklessly falling in love.
But another part wonders if any of it was ever real at all.
I can still see his face that first night. The way he looked at me. Open and vulnerable in a way he never lets anyone see. It wasn’t just pleasure. It was something deeper. The kind of connection that steals your breath.
His blue eyes burned into me, and I swear I could feel the love radiating from him. Even then.
Does that mean everything after that night—the betrayal, the lies—was the real illusion?
A shiver runs through me, even in the hot water. I can almost feel the ghost of his hands on my skin. His fingers in my hair. His breath on my neck as he whispered my name like it was a prayer. The way he touched me, adoring and hungry and impossibly gentle.
My own fingers drift downward before I even realize it. They find the tender, swollen bundle of nerves aching for release.
Maybe if I just— My gaze flicks toward the faucet.
I’ve heard stories.
People do it.
It’s a thing.
Could I?
…No.
But—God.
I press the button at the bottom of the tub and watch as the water begins to drain. Slowly, the level drops around me. I twist the handle, adjusting the flow until the stream runs warm.
“Am I actually going to do this?” I whisper.
Yes. Yes, I am.
I shift my body under the running water until the stream hits and I gasp, my back arching. I pull away instinctively, then ease forward until the water finds me again.
It feels good. Almost too good.
My breathing grows uneven as I slip two fingers inside myself, the water kissing my clit with every tiny movement. I close my eyes and tilt my head back, letting my mind drift.
Jace’s mouth on me, tongue circling my clit, flicking in that way that always made my thighs shake. His fingers deep inside me, curling just right. His hands roam over my hips. My own hands in his dark hair as he looked up at me with—
Light brown eyes.
His lip ring glints in my imagination as he drags it over the inside of my thigh, teasing, before his tongue presses against me…
“Luca…” I gasp as the orgasm crashes over me, pleasure rolling through me like a wave.
My body trembles as I pull my fingers out, moving away from the stream. I stare at my hand glistening under the bathroom light.
Well. That was unexpected.
I finish washing quickly under the shower spray and pull on soft clothes, but my mind won’t stop spinning. A part of me feels guilty… but another part doesn’t at all.
My feelings are a tangled ball of yarn—knotted, frayed, impossible to unwind. I don’t know where the beginning is or where it ends. I don’t even know where to start unraveling the mess.
I think I’m going to have to talk to Maeve about this. Maybe she can find one end of the knot, because right now, I’m hopelessly tangled in it.