Chapter 4
My legs dangle off my car seat. The world outside is a blur of headlights and streetlamps. The radio hums out soft melodies. Mama is whispering to herself.
“Don’t look behind us.” Her knuckles are white on the wheel.
We’ve been driving for what feels like forever. The car smells like coffee, smoke, and cherry lip gloss.
“Are we there yet?”
Her gaze meets mine in the mirror, her eyes wild and tired.
“Not yet, baby. Soon. Take a nap, then by the time you wake up, we’ll be there.”
“Okay, Mama.”
The next time I wake up, I’m on a bed. Mama is pacing the room, looking out of the blinds. The motel room is cold and smells.
“What’s wrong, Mama?” I sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
She jumps, turning quickly. She crosses over and drops onto the bed.
“Nothing.” She holds my face and pets my hair. “Nothing at all, Isobel. We’re just… going on vacation.”
“Will Dada be going on vacation with us?” I rub my eyes.
I don’t understand the look on her face.
“No, baby, he won’t.”
“Why not?”
“We’re getting away from monsters.” She lays me back down.
I think she means the kind of monsters that live under the bed. I nod and believe her.
There’s a knock on the door and she jumps.
“Who’s that, Mama?” I sit up.
“Mama’s friend.” She gives me a small smile.
She opens the door, and a man fills the frame. It’s not Dada.
He has dark slicked-back hair, dark eyes.
I don’t like him.
Mama and the man talk as he steps inside, but I can’t hear them.
I want Dada.
He hands Mama a little baggie and she quickly grabs it. The man walks over and crouches beside the bed. He just stares, and it makes me feel bad.
“Who are you?”
His smile is small. It doesn’t look real.
“I’m Daniel. I’m going to be your new daddy.”
The room is too bright and too clean. Silence rings in my ears. Anger and frustration bubbles in my chest.
It’s been a few days since Detective Harlan was here. Every day, more and more memories seem to unlock.
How could I just let her take me away from my dad? All the while, she was leading me further into the monster’s den. I didn’t know then that sometimes monsters hid in plain sight.
I try to search my mind for memories of my dad, but it’s like they're buried under layers and layers of lies that Mama placed there.
She said she was keeping me safe.
That he was gone.
What could have been so bad about the man who made waffles and hummed along to the radio?
What did Daniel do to him?
Before my thoughts can continue to spiral, Maeve and Brenda walk in. Maeve plops down a pink box of pastries on the table while Brenda holds a tray of drinks.
“Morning, Iz!” Maeve chirps, handing me a donut.
“Morning. Thank you, guys, you really didn’t have to bring anything.”
“Oh please.” Maeve takes her usual seat by my feet with a donut of her own. “You deserve this sugary treat after all the hospital food.”
I shrug my shoulders, taking a bite.
“How are you feeling?” Brenda snags a fritter for herself before taking a seat.
“Better. Definitely ready to get out of here as soon as they let me.”
“I understand. Well, it shouldn’t be that much longer.” Brenda smiles as she hands me a drink.
A knock sounds at the door. Detective Harlan stands in the doorway. My stomach flips.
“Hi, Isobel, you’re looking much better than when I last saw you.”
“It’s the donut.” I grin while holding it up.
He chuckles as he comes in.
“Please help yourself, detective.” Brenda gestures to the box.
“Thank you.” He nods and smiles.
“Did you find him?” I put my donut down. The tension in my stomach grows with every passing second.
Detective Harlan’s eyes scan over me.
“Well?” Maeve moves to sit next to me, taking my hand. “Put us out of our misery.”
“We did find him.”
The words echo in my mind as Maeve and Brenda speak, but I can’t process any other words. They found him. My dad. That thought causes something else to shift. The hope that starts to bloom quickly burns like acid.
What if he’s worse? What if he’s just another monster in better clothes? I grew up in a house where the monsters weren’t under the bed. They walked through the front door like they owned the place.
“Isobel?” Detective Harlan’s voice cuts through the river of thoughts.
“Huh?” I look up around me.
“Are you alright?” His forehead crinkles.
Maeve squeezes my hand, and I nod.
“Yes, sorry, I was just… processing.” I clear my throat. “So, I was right, he was missing?”
“Not exactly.”
My brows furrow.
“So, when we ran your DNA through the Missing Persons Database, we got back a match, but it was for you.”
My chest tightens. I can’t breathe. “I-I’m sorry…did you say I was in the database?”
He nods. “Your DNA matched a child reported missing nearly thirteen years ago. Your name was listed then as Isobel Grace Ashthorne.”
I stare at him.
“I don’t— That’s not—” I shake my head. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“We double-checked. The report was filed by Lucian Ashthorne, your biological father. There’s been an open case ever since. Your mother vanished with you when you were five years old.”
The pit in my stomach becomes a chasm.
She took me away.
Away from my dad.
Took me and told me he was the one who was gone.
“Has he been contacted?” Brenda asks.
“Yes, we contacted him and he’s on his way here. We didn’t disclose what happened to you, just that you were in the hospital.”
“What if she doesn’t want to see him?” Maeve asks.
“Then that is her choice, but with her father’s position, we needed to contact him immediately.”
“His position?” I tilt my head.
“Yes.” He clears his throat, adjusting the collar of his shirt. “He said he’d be here within the few hours. He’s flying in from California.”
My thoughts swirl. He’s alive. He’s coming from California. He was looking for me.
“Thank you, detective.” Brenda stands, walking over and placing a hand on my shoulder. “We really appreciate you putting a rush on this.”
“Of course. It’s my pleasure. I have an update about your case if you’re ready to hear it.”
My mouth dries at the thought of him. “Hit me with it.”
“Daniel and your mother were both arrested. Daniel for rape and aggravated assault, Celia for possession. We’ve been trying to offer her a plea for her cooperation and testimony against Daniel.”
“Let me guess, she’s not.” Maeve looks at me.
Detective Harlan shakes his head. “She won’t take the deal. He was denied bail. The DA is doing what he can to try to negotiate a deal, so you won’t have to testify. It’ll take some time though.”
My head bobs as he talks, each word makes something in my chest lift.
“Your mom was granted bail of $2,500 but no one’s come forward to pay that, so she’ll be held until trial. Additionally, from what I’ve heard, she’s been detoxing, so it’s probably for the best she stays inside.”
“Finally,” Maeve mutters.
“Will I be able to visit?”
He shakes his head. “No, the jail doesn’t allow visits, but if there’s a number you’d like her to call you on I can pass that along.”
My heart drops. I don’t even know what I’d say to her. Or what she’d say to me. “Thank you, for the updates. And finding my dad.” The word feels foreign in my mouth.
“Of course.” Detective Harlan fishes a card out of his pocket and places it on my table. “If you have any questions or need anything at all, please give me a call anytime.”
“Thank you.” Brenda gestures. “I’ll walk you out.”
“Get better, Isobel. We’ll be in touch.”
I give him a small grin. He takes a donut out of the box with a napkin and follows Brenda out.
Maeve exhales heavily. “Well, that was… a lot.”
“No kidding.” I stare blankly into my lap.
“You have a dad.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious.” I roll my eyes.
“How do you feel about it?” She nudges me with her shoulder.
It’s my turn to take a deep breath, forcing the air out through my lips.
“There’s a lot of feelings but I feel like they’re all fighting for the spotlight.
I’m shocked. Angry at my mom, for taking me away from him.
I’m scared and worried because what if the memory I have of him is just another lie? ”
Maeve chews on her lower lip.
“I understand, but we can’t go down the ‘what if’ path because it’s just going to lead us in circles. So, feel all your feelings, and just take it a step at a time.”
Isobel Grace Ashthorne.
Grace is delicate, soft, and I’m not sure I’ve ever been either.
The nurse peeks in. “Isobel, your father is here to see you.”
The nurse lingers in the doorway. “He’s just outside,” she lowers her voice. “Should I let him in?”
The sheets suddenly feel too heavy. Like they’re trying to pin me down. I glance at Maeve, then back to the nurse.
“Can I just… have a minute?”
The nurse nods, and the door clicks shut. Maeve keeps one hand still wrapped tightly in mine. I’m not sure what I’m feeling. Hope? Dread?
“I’m scared,” I admit.
“You have every right to be.” Maeve squeezes my hand. “You got this. I’ll be here with you. “
“What if he’s like him?” I murmur. “What if he’s worse?”
“From what you told me, I don’t think he will be. Either way, you don’t have to trust him, just meet him and feel out the situation. No matter what, I’ve got your back.”
The knock comes again. I flinch.
Maeve gives me a look. I know if I shake my head, she’ll run up against that door and barricade it until I give her the okay.
I dip my chin. There’s no use in avoiding the inevitable. The door creaks open.
Lucian Ashthorne steps into the room.
I sit up a little straighter, my heart pounding so loud I wonder if he can hear it from across the room.
He’s tall, wearing a sharp suit, and a long black coat.
His black hair is neat and styled back, with streaks of silver at the temples and through the sides.
His eyes match the storm blue in mine. Or I guess, mine are like his. He stands there staring in disbelief.
“Gracie.” His voice silences every thought.
My eyes fill with tears. “Dad,” I whisper.