Chapter 40 #2
It wasn’t like I didn’t notice all the women who kept slanting their gazes his way last night. Aiming to garner his attention as he sat at that bar and gruffed and glowered at me like I was the bane of his existence.
No one could blame me for rubbing it in a little bit out there on the dance floor.
He totally deserved it for busting through my reserves.
I guess we’d both been pushed up against a wall. Neither of us left with any restraint.
My chest tightened.
Strike that.
Silas had.
He’d slammed the brakes on the direction I’d been heading before things between us had really gotten out of hand.
Meems laughed an incredulous sound. “You’re talking about the bunnies running around here?”
I shifted Kai around to my other hip, the little boy playing with my hair, taking giant pieces and hiding his face behind them like he was playing his own game of hide and seek.
“Obviously.” I shrugged, nonchalant and like the thought of it didn’t sting.
A dull blade driven right through the middle of my sternum.
Visions flashing of three or four of those women crawling all over him.
Jealousy was such an ugly emotion, and right then, it was crawling all over me.
I finally got myself together enough to walk deeper into the kitchen.
The old lady chuckled low as she cracked an egg into the mixture. “You think whatever is going on between the two of you is no different than the nonsense that goes on over there at that clubhouse?”
“Isn’t it?” I said it like it was no big deal as I wound around Elena so I could get to the cupboard that held the coffee cups.
You know, just making myself at home.
One step closer to that decimated heart.
A total fool because my spirit leapt when Meems shifted to look at me from over her shoulder and said, “Not even close, sweet one.”
In defense, I huffed while ensuring Kai’s limbs were out of reach when I pulled out the carafe and poured a steaming cup of coffee. “And how’s it any different?”
Elena laughed like I was dense. “How is it different?”
“Yeah.”
“The fact he brought you through that door right there means it’s different.” Answering for her, Meems pointed toward the front entrance.
Kai wiggled. “Down.”
I set him onto his feet, then I took a quick sip of my coffee, wincing as the piping hot liquid hit my tongue.
“He only brought me here to keep an eye on me,” I defended.
“Oh, I bet he wants to keep an eye on you. That boy looks like he wants to eat you up every time he glances your way.” Meems hummed with a shake of her head.
My guard slipped, and I gnawed at my bottom lip as I looked at Kai who started pushing his toy motorcycle across the floor at my feet. “There is no future there, if that’s what you two are thinking.”
“And why not?” Elena almost pouted.
I didn’t even want a relationship. Had no need for one. I did just fine by myself, thank you very much.
Except…
Air whispered from my lungs. “I think Silas might be as broken as me.”
With the irresponsible confession, Meems settled the bowl onto the counter. She turned around. When she did, tenderness had fully taken her over.
Affection and care brimming in the aged lines of her expression. “You’re right, Brinley. He’s been broken and traumatized. He’s been struggling to survive since before he was even a man and doing his best to protect his family while he did it.”
My spirit flailed and thrashed.
I wanted to know that part of him. To understand what all of it meant.
“And he’s made some bad decisions. Horrible ones. No question about it, and he counts himself as to blame for all of it. Thinks he’s unworthy when he’s probably one of the worthiest people I’ve ever met.”
My chest stretched to the point of exploding, listening to her talk about her grandson with unflinching admiration.
It was only more difficult to stand beneath the weight of it since Elena’s expression morphed into that tortured innocence that promised she had endured the same trauma, too.
So much more appalling than the tidbits I’d gleaned.
“But that man is good, through and through,” Meems continued, love gushing out on a river of awe. “I’ve seen it time and again. His sacrifice. And that’s not being biased. It’s just the plain and simple truth.”
She inched forward, and she reached out and touched below my chin, her gaze penetrating as she stared me down. “So good and beaten down by the world that he’s always trying to stay one step ahead of it, forever putting up a fight. Broken, but refusing to surrender.”
She tilted my chin up further. “I’d bet a whole lot like you. And maybe I’m wrong, but I’m thinking those broken pieces just might fit.”
A tremble rolled through me. “I’m not sure about that.”
Elena reached out and squeezed my hand. “Your heart will know.”
I choked over a strangled sound. Man, was that one coming back to bite me in the ass.
“I don’t think Silas nor I are ready for any of that, but maybe we are what the other needs right now.”
While I was here, like he said.
It was going to have to be enough.
I could see the red flag waving in my periphery.
A warning tolling at the back of my mind.
If that was the way it was going to be, then I needed to stop allowing myself to get attached.
Easier said than done when I was surrounded by these amazing people.
Elena and Meems.
Kai at my feet.
Silas’s ferocity vibrating from someplace outside the door.
The home I didn’t have.