39. Delilah
Chapter thirty-nine
A couple of hours later, after sunset, I’m curled in the corner of the sectional, half asleep as I listen to the team talk.
Their voices blend together into something like white noise or ocean waves, ebbing and flowing, and strangely peaceful.
It strikes me how comfortable I am, and how quickly that has changed, but I don’t have the mental capacity to examine that further.
“Are you getting sleepy, little wisp?”
I look up at Joker’s gentle question, finding him leaning over the back of the couch to be eye level with me, a soft smile on his face. I tip my chin down once, a small agreement.
“Let’s get you to bed, then, yeah? I could use a lie down,” Joker replies, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair away from my face.
My shoulders slump, a familiar ball of tension returning to my belly. If anyone notices my shift in mood, they don’t say anything. All the others just give us warm “good nights” and “sweet dreams” as Joker vaults the couch and takes my hand and leads me down the hallway.
But then he stops in front of the middle door, the one I was told never to enter, shouldering it open. I stop at the threshold, my hand slipping out of his grip. Joker turns and looks at me, confusion pulling his brow low over his turquoise eyes.
“I…this is your nest,” I state lamely.
Joker nods. “And you’re going to stay with me in it from now on.”
I blink at him, a lump forming in my throat.
From everything I was taught, omegas are highly territorial over their nests, their safe retreats from the world.
Alphas and betas aren’t even supposed to enter them without asking first. It’s almost unheard of for an omega to offer to share their nest with another omega like this.
“I…Joker…” I try, trailing off twice before I lose the ability to form words.
Joker gives me another dazzling smile, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he steps closer and takes both of my hands, pulling me with him into the room and allowing the door to swing closed behind me.
I take a deep breath, the tension in my shoulders dissipating almost instantly as my nose takes in the combined scents of the team.
Mostly Joker, Bones, and Cross, but I can detect Phantom and Siren at the edges of the bouquet permeating the room.
“That’s it, sweet girl. Relax for me,” Joker says, low and soft.
I look around, taking in the space. There’s a door leading off the main room, and I spot a bathroom through the slightly ajar door.
A built-in wardrobe sits along one wall, with a countertop meeting it in the corner.
The faint hum of a mini fridge kicking on fills the air, though I can’t see where it’s coming from.
But then I spot the bed, and I let out a long sigh as I practically melt on the spot.
Raised up slightly from the floor, three stairs lead up to a platform that surrounds the sleeping area of the nest. The mattress itself is recessed, creating natural walls that are lined with more pillows and blankets than I think I’ve seen outside of a store.
The bedding is all in coordinating shades of blue and green, matching Joker’s eyes almost exactly.
“We’ve got plenty of space, as you can see,” Joker says, turning to lead me up the stairs.
I let out a small, agreeing scoff. There’s enough space for at least eight people, let alone just two.
I toe off my shoes before I follow Joker down onto the mattress, kneeling as I sink into the plush surface with a little whine.
I run my hands along the sheet, the softness of it making my instincts sing with delight.
“It’s been so long…” I start, my voice breaking unexpectedly.
Joker doesn’t speak, understanding almost immediately. It’s been almost a year since I’ve had a proper nest, between the hospital stay after the incident and then being shipped off to Love Wins. And with my memory being so unreliable, it feels like even longer since I’ve felt the safety of a nest.
“You are welcome here, Delilah. This is our nest now,” Joker says, moving close enough for our knees to touch as he leans in and presses his forehead to mine.
I let out a choked sob, but thankfully no tears fall. Today has been an exhausting roller coaster of emotions, and this is enough to finally break me. My instincts are crying out for relief, and I allow them forward, not wanting to think for the moment.
I pull back slightly and look around, assessing the state of things.
The nest is well constructed, everything arranged almost perfectly.
But my hands twitch at my sides as I see a few things not quite right.
Joker doesn’t stop me when I crawl away, fluffing the odd pillow, swapping out blankets for cushions, anything that my instincts need right now.
Not chastising, not going behind me, but allowing me to make this my space, too.
Once I’m done, I let myself curl up in a corner facing the door, sighing deeply as I relax into the cushions. Joker slides up beside me and pulls me into his side before placing a soft kiss on the top of my head. I smile at the casual affection, nuzzling against him.
“You doing okay, luv?” he asks, barely an exhale.
I nod, closing my eyes. He’s so warm, and the weight of his arm around me soothes the frayed edges of my nerves.
“I’m going to take care of you, Lilah. Better than anyone ever has before,” he says into the silence.
I don’t answer, not sure I was even supposed to hear that.
But the words strike something deep in my heart, a part of me that I’ve ignored or suppressed.
For the longest time, I’ve been the caretaker.
To my family, and then my pack, and then here.
Always there, dependable, jumping when asked.
Going out of my way to make sure the people around me were fed, and rested, and happy. Often to my own detriment.
When was the last time I did something just because it made me happy?
When was the last time I spoke up for my own needs?
When was the last time I felt like I could ask for something?
Joker shifts us to lie down, turning us so his body is between me and the door, and pulling a soft blanket over our bodies. I drag a pair of pillows under our heads, my eyes sliding closed once we’re settled.
“I want to see you like this all the time,” Joker murmurs, brushing hair from my face.
I hum in question, not opening my eyes as I balance on the edge of sleep.
“Completely relaxed, not a care in the world. Safe. Content,” Joker replies, leaning down to nuzzle his temple against mine.
I smile softly, not sure how to answer that. But he doesn’t push me to speak; instead, he pulls me to his chest and purrs lightly, playing with the ends of my hair until I’m asleep.