Chapter Two #2
“You don’t know me.” Even thought she was definitely ordering that one, and fart was actually one of her favorite words in the English language.
She’d named two of her pet rocks that—one singular, and one plural.
She was taking that little gem to her grave though.
She couldn’t even imagine how much Lance would make fun of her rock collection. No thank you.
But now that she was thinking of her rocks, something awful happened. She reached into her pocket, unable to stop herself and put the fool’s gold onto the table next to his plate. “That’s for you. It’s an exact replica of your actual wiener size.”
“Oh. My. God,” he uttered, picking up the micro-pecker. “You just carry stuff like this around with you?”
“If you aren’t going to appreciate my gift, I want it back.” She grabbed for it, but he snatched it away.
“Not on your life are you doing a take-back now.”
“I have regrets. I actually like that one. Give it back.”
“What’s its name?”
“It doesn’t have a name.”
“Liar.”
“If you must know,” she said, grabbing for it and missing again. “It’s Gary.”
“Can I keep it for one day?”
“Are you going to lose it?”
“I’m very responsible with stuff in my pockets. I had that half a package of peanut butter crackers in there for like four hours and it wasn’t even that crunched up.”
She was trying to look stern right now, but the stupid smile kept creeping across her lips. “You can keep him for one day, but if you lose him, you owe me four new rocks, and they can’t be lame ones. I mean they have to be uniquely shaped and well-thought out.”
“Any kind of rock? Not that I’m planning to lose Gary.”
“Something purple.”
“Purple is your favorite color, isn’t it?”
Roberto was to their table and ready to take their drink orders.
Lance wore the stupidest most handsome smile as she ordered the candy hearts drink and he ordered a boring beer.
“Purple is not my favorite color.”
“Then why did you come here looking like a grape soda threw up on you?”
She glared at him for a full four seconds and then explained, “Because purple was my ex-boyfriend’s least favorite color.”
“Oh. Dressing to spite him, huh. I bet he feels super burned.”
“He actually probably does, since he and all of his dumb friends still follow my social media pages.” She held up her phone and took a selfie, smiling brightly with the hearth behind her.
She narrated her post as she typed out the caption.
“Happy and thriving and having the time of my life in snowy gorgeous Colorado. I’m not wearing a bra, L-O-L. Post.”
Birdie noticed Lance had his arm around her chair and she pushed it off the back. With a little gasp, she checked the picture and yep, sure enough, a big muscular arm had made it into the picture behind her.
Lance looked completely unapologetic. “It’ll hurt him more. Trust me.”
She thought about deleting the picture but maybe Lance was right, so she left it.
“Happy and thriving, huh?” Lance asked as he shoved the little golden penis rock into his pocket.
“Don’t break the tip off.”
“I put it in gently,” he said through a baiting smile.
He’d set her up, but she wasn’t going to say it. She wasn’t. “That’s what she said.” She clapped her hand over her mouth, and then around her hand murmured, “You bring out the worst in me Lance Dance.”
“Dance is not my last name. It’s Dennison.”
Of course he had a hot-man name.
“So, if your name is Birdie, are you a bird shifter?” he asked.
“You’re extremely rude for asking that.” Birdie took a sip of her drink, and holy cannoli it was delicious.
“I could just look up your registration, you know.”
“Don’t you have a job to do?” she asked. “Why are you sitting with the guests? I thought you worked here.”
“Oh, I just help out around here. I don’t get paid or anything. Well, I guess technically this is me getting paid.”
“Does not compute.”
“I mean, my best friend gave me one of the cabins for UnValentine’s Day week. He said it would be good for me to get away.”
“Away from what? Something scandalous?”
“Uuuh, I don’t know. Just some stressful stuff, I guess. Brock worries, but I’m fine. I’m always fine.”
“Oh yeah, me too. Always fine.”
“There’s no wife and kids and labrador,” he said.
“Huh?”
“You said earlier I should go back to my wife and four kids and labrador. That was the plan when I was younger, but it didn’t pan out.”
“Are you a slob or something? What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you married yet?”
“I almost was.” He took a sip. “She broke off the wedding two years ago, to the day.”
“Whoa, were you one of those people doing the Valentine’s Day weddings?”
He didn’t answer, and gave his attention to the fire, and that was telling enough. The teasing evaporated from her. “She left you at the altar?”
“She was kind enough to do it two days before the wedding. Valentine’s Day was her thing. I wasn’t that into it before, but now I’m really not into it.”
“So…you mourn what should’ve been every year in mid-February?”
“I don’t know. There wasn’t really time, you know? It wasn’t that long ago. And now she’s getting married to someone else this week, and my sister’s in the wedding party, and I’m invited, and it’s all really weird for me.”
“Wait, your sister is still friends with your ex? Who burned you?”
“I didn’t need her to hate my ex. They were friends before we got together. It’s how I met her. It’s fine.”
“Why on God’s green and blue planet would you be invited? She’s doing a repeat wedding but just replaced the groom.”
“My guess is for head games. I’m not going, obviously.
She tried to get back together with me after the initial first few months of me falling apart, and I couldn’t do it.
There was a lot of trying on her part, and my head’s been messed up, and I’m just ready to move forward.
I’ll be relieved when this week is done and she’s married and over me.
I can get over it too. Here. With drinks like Single and Unready to Mingle. ”
“Yeah, well there’s excursions too, you know. There’s horseback riding at eight in the morning. A shuttle bus is leaving from here and everything. You could go take lots of pictures of your happy and thriving new life and post them.”
“Like you’re doing?”
“Yep!”
“Mmm, I’ll think about it.”
“Okay, well I’m going.”
“Is this you trying to invite me to go with you?”
“No, I’m just saying we share custody of our penis rock now and we need to schedule a drop-off time.
So…if you wanted to do it on horseback in the snowy mountains…
” She shrugged. “I could take pictures of you for your social media pages. I’m pretty good at an iPhone.
The best revenge on our enemies is being happy despite them. ”
“How are you still single?” he asked.
At first, she thought she sensed sarcasm in his voice, but on second thought, his bright green eyes were full of earnestness.
“If you saw the size of my rock collection, you would understand.”
His chuckle filled her head and settled her nervousness. “Is collecting things part of your animal side?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I haven’t figured it out yet.”
“Hmm.” Lance lowered his voice and said, “Well just so you know, I’m probably going to look up your registration tonight after we finish dinner.”
“Shocker. Well, it was nice to know you. Forget the horseback ride. You’re just going to make fun of me.”
“Why would I make fun of you? You’re freakishly strong.”
She giggled. Okay, she liked being able to banter with him. He was easy to talk to, and already it felt like she had known him a lot longer than she had.
“Why did you sit over here away from the others she asked, turning to look at the full table behind them. They were all engaged in the hum of conversation. Except for Debbie Downer.
“Because your eyes are gold. I faced you this way so you could just enjoy the meal. Plus, that view isn’t half bad.” He gestured to the huge windows on the wall. Outside the snow was falling gently down through the pine trees.
“Oh.” She frowned. That was actually really thoughtful. “Thanks, I think.” She lifted her glass for a quiet toast with him. “To thriving despite them.”
His smile was so handsome in the flickering flames of the stone hearth as he lifted his glass and tinked it gently against hers. “To whatever this is.”