Chapter Nine
The sound of Lance’s truck engine woke her.
Birdie had been up most of the night, unable to sleep as her mind swirled round and round. Lance had left before dawn, and she knew what he was doing. He was going back to his apartment to give them both space from this suffocating thing between them.
She was grateful that he was being considerate, but she hated it at the same time.
She wouldn’t see him anymore and every cell in her body hurt over it.
Not in any way did she understand herself right now.
She wanted to go home. She was ready.
Birdie used the quiet of the early morning hour to pack her things into the purple luggage. She would head to the airport and try to switch her flight and spend it focusing on the travel day instead of being here, where all of her memories of this place revolved around him. Around Lance.
She dragged her suitcases and bags to the front door and made her way up the stairs to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything upstairs.
This cabin was truly beautiful. It had been a paradise for a little while.
The sheets were still mussed from them being together, and she hadn’t been able to bring herself to sleep up here last night.
She’d slept fitfully for an hour on the couch.
Everything had gotten so messed up.
A knock sounded at the door. Birdie frowned and called, “Who is it?”
Dawn hadn’t broken the horizon yet, and it was still dark outside. No one should be knocking on her door at this early hour.
She padded down the stairs and checked the peephole, but no one was there.
Hands on the cold wood, she opened the door a crack and saw something sitting on the front porch.
She glanced up automatically and noticed Lance’s truck was back.
Her heart raced faster and she opened the door wider. On the welcome mat was a card, and a pink box with a red ribbon, and a coffee from the place Lance had gotten her one yesterday.
A smile of hope took her lips as she stepped outside and looked over at Lodge 10. Lance was nowhere to be seen, but from here, she could see a light turn on in his cabin.
She stooped and picked up the little pile of gifts.
She sipped the coffee as she shut the door, and sure enough, it was that yummy one she’d loved. Should she be excited for his attention? She sank down on the couch and set the coffee on the table, then opened the envelope carefully.
Inside was a handwritten letter. Simply, it said, These are the reasons I could never forget you.
She pulled the red ribbon from the small box and pulled off the lid and gasped at what she saw there. The box was full of miniature brown envelopes. They were each no bigger than an inch and a half long, and each flap was sealed with a shimmery pink heart sticker.
A smile confiscated her face as she opened the tiny flap of the first one. Inside was a little folded piece of paper and she pulled it out and unfolded it.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
She placed the little brown envelope and the paper onto the table and opened the next one.
Your hamster ears are the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.
A giggle escaped her as she set it next to the other on the table. She opened the next one.
I want to learn everything about you.
I love the way you say my name when I’m fucking you.
Perfect tits.
I want to do all my excursions with you—romantic and unromantic.
Every time I see a hamster on TV, I will think of you.
I will smile every time I see a candy aisle.
I also like fruit roll-ups.
I want you at all of my games.
You’re funny.
She grinned and sat up straighter, opening the little envelopes faster now.
I want to learn about rocks for you because rocks make you smile.
I don’t care that you are a shifter.
I like how you can call me out.
You looked hot all naked on the bar floor last night.
I will never look at a raisin the same.
I want you to meet my parents.
The thought of you leaving tomorrow makes me feel empty.
I want to do stupid things just to be around you.
I want to post pictures with you because I’m proud of you.
Oof her eyes were filling with moisture, and it blurred her vision as she tried to read the neat handwriting.
You are weird in the best ways.
I want you to see my apartment.
I want to hear all about your animal side.
I want you to trust me.
I want to trust you.
I want more time.
The last one said, To me you are not a mistake.
Her heart was breaking wide open with his honest words. He was a tough man with his life together, but he was being vulnerable for her.
Another folded piece of paper was at the bottom of the box, and under it was something that drew a laugh from her lungs.
There was a tiny wiener-shaped rose quartz. It was pink, her favorite color.
Birdie clutched the little rock in her hand as she unfolded the bigger note and began to read.
I hope you like me as much as I like you, but if not, I understand.
If perchance (I had to look that word up by the way), you do, then I was wondering if you would like to do any or all of these things with me today? I don’t care about the UnValentine’s Day stuff anymore, Birdie. I only care about you.
Below, there was an itinerary for the day with boxes left open for her to put checkmarks into.
The first was breakfast at his favorite place by his apartment.
Next was the snowy ATV tour together.
Next was lunch at this sandwich shop that was on some television show that he’d never had a reason to try before she’d come along.
Next was snack shopping for her hamsters favorite snacks in case she needed to Change unexpectedly ever again. That part made her laugh.
Next was a midday nap on the couch in front of the fire in Lodge 9 because he apparently hadn’t slept a wink last night either.
Next was the snowshoe excursion put on by the Woodpecker Inn, and finally…
Dinner made by Gran with Ava and Brock, and Natalie and Reed, and the others they’d met while they had been staying here. He even told her the menu. Gran was making pot roast and mashed potatoes and gravy tonight.
At the bottom, he wrote P. S. you should know that if you check any of these, I’m going to do the mushy shit and ask you to be my Valentine. Guess what my new favorite animal is?
He drew a smiley face on an awful looking hamster cartoon, and signed his name at the bottom, and whoo, her fluttering heart.
Birdie flung herself backward against the couch and looked up at the ceiling fan as it spun lazily above her.
She’d already dressed for the day, but it was cold out and she bundled up in her jacket and slipped her feet into her snow boots before she made her way outside.
Carefully, she tramped on over to Lodge 10, placed his letter with the entire itinerary checked off under the pecker shaped fool’s gold.
At the bottom of his letter, she’d written, I like you too.
I can’t stop thinking about you either. I missed you all night.
You are not a mistake, but even if you were, you would be my favorite one.
She made sure the wind was blocked on the porch, and then walked away, heading back for her cabin.
When she was halfway there, she heard, “Birdie?”
She turned, and Lance stood there, holding the unfolded itinerary, his fist clenched around the fool’s gold.
“I’m sorry,” she uttered.
His eyes were so raw and open as he jogged to her and pulled her tightly against his chest. “You don’t have to apologize. You don’t. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I shouldn’t have said all that last night—”
“Shhh, hey,” he murmured, pushing her back to arm’s length so he could look her in the eyes. A slow smile transformed his face. “I’ve already been looking at flights to come and visit you. Next week if you want. And you can come here sometimes until we figure out where we want to settle.”
“Where we want to settle?” she asked, hope blooming in her chest.
“It’s not a vacation fling, Birdie, and you know it. It’s big. It’s really big.”
She nodded, and her eyes were blurring with tears again. “I know. It scares me.”
“Me too, but you know, we can be scared together. I would rather lean on each other than push each other away and always wonder ‘what if’?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want this to end tomorrow. I want more time with you. I don’t care how selfish that is, it’s what I hope for.”
She couldn’t stop smiling even if she tried. “Okay,” she squeaked out of her tightening vocal cords.
“Really?
She threw her arms around his waist and nodded. “You’re all right with the animal side of me?”
“I mean I’m probably still going to call you Raisin while I feed you four literal pounds of snacks, but yeah. I can keep her safe when you Change.”
She laughed and hugged him tighter. “That sounds nice.”
“Do you want to be my Valentine?”
She looked up and rested her chin in the line between his muscular pecs. “I saw the selfie you texted me of you with my hamster. It was so freaking cute.”
He chuckled and wiped a snowflake from her nose. “Will you?”
“Yes. I’ll be yours.”
The smile that stretched his handsome face lit up the entire clearing. Nothing else existed in this moment as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.
Okay.
Okay.
He had a plan. They were going to figure this out.
Today would be full of them making even more memories, and time with their friends tonight, getting to know them better. She was getting to keep this paradise a little bit longer, and she already knew what she would do.
She knew where she wanted to settle.
She wanted to be here in this beautiful town with him.
This wasn’t the end after all.
Lance was making sure this was just the beginning.