Eleven - Alan
Eleven
Alan
???
I couldn’t explain why I was walking along the stream toward the boulder where I had previously met Mina. Unlike last night, she hadn’t asked me to meet her. And why would she? After last night, she probably regretted spending any time worrying about me.
It was all a waste, I knew. It didn’t matter that I had another person confirming that Powell had used magic against me. That didn’t stop the magic. It didn’t erase years of being overlooked and dismissed. It didn’t give me any hope that the coming years wouldn’t be more of the same.
But I still wanted to talk to Mina again. I should probably apologize for storming off the way I had last night, too. I couldn’t visit the Wrison’s home looking for her. Not only would facing them be unpleasant, but if word got out to Powell...
My stepfather had been looking at me oddly ever since Mina’s visit the day before. I had no idea what he might do if he discovered she wasn’t under the influence of the charm; I didn’t want to find out. Which left me hoping, against all odds, that Mina would visit the stream again.
The boulder came into view, and I stopped walking. Mina lay atop the stone, her hair draped over the side, the tips of the long strands brushing the ground .
I had wanted to see her, but I didn’t know what to do or say now. I took another step, then froze again.
She must have heard the pebbles shifting under my boot, because she surged to her feet and spun around. “You came.”
I shrugged, not nearly as indifferent as I tried to appear. She had been waiting for me. After yesterday evening, I hadn’t expected that. I had barely hoped that she might visit the stream regularly for unrelated reasons.
It only took a few more steps before I reached the boulder. “I owe you an apology for last night. You were only trying to help. I should have appreciated that more.”
Her eyes narrowed. “But you still don’t think I can help.”
“I don’t think anyone can help. If you are right, then everyone in Skorsa has had their thoughts warped by a mind-bending charm for years.”
“I don’t think it is a mind-bending charm anymore.”
“What?”
“I tried to test the power of the charm by talking to Gemma this morning. That’s when I realized my mistake. It is a heart-changing charm. That’s why everyone focuses on how disappointed they are.”
It surprised me that Mina had tried at all, though it shouldn’t have. She wouldn’t walk away just because I was rude. She had already pushed past the magic, finding a way to weaken its hold on her. She had broken her belt knife and studied how Powell’s presence affected me, then arranged to meet me in secret. Giving up wouldn’t occur to her.
But her efforts were a waste. “It doesn’t matter. It is still magic that has influenced the villagers for too long. Even if the charm suddenly broke, they wouldn’t change their minds overnight. If it were that easy, things would change every time Powell went to Haiwella to renew the spell.”
Powell must have feared such an outcome. It explained why he always paid extra attention to me when he returned from those trips. However, I knew better. Mina was the only person who had acted differently around me while Powell was gone, and that was only because she hadn’t been exposed to the magic before then. No one else suddenly forgot their opinions.
“Breaking the charm is a brilliant idea,” Mina exclaimed.
It took me a moment to understand. She clearly hadn’t listened to what I was saying. “It won’t solve anything.”
She gave me a look, one that said plainly I was an idiot, but she was willing to overlook that this once. “The villagers might not suddenly shed their warped views, but they also won’t be forced into ignoring proof that you are skilled. Plus, if we break the charm, any magistrates or constables from the city won’t be affected.”
That made sense, but... “How would I break it?”
One pale eyebrow lifted. “Surely you have a hammer or two lying around in the forge?”
I snorted. “I know how to smash it. I meant how can I even find it? I have never noticed this charm in all the years Powell has relied on it. What would it look like? There are plenty of odd bits of metal around.”
Mina shook her head. “Only mages with passive powers use metal for charms. Even if I am wrong about it being a heart-changing charm, it must be an active power. Which means glass or gemstones.”
“A jewel would stand out, but should I just smash every bit of glass in the house?”
“Of course not. We are dealing with a charm, not an enchantment, so it must be the correct shape.”
I blinked. I understood the difference between charms and enchantments, and knew that most charms were made with glass marbles, but hadn’t realized that they had to be that shape. I thought it was just something mages did to help everyone else tell the difference between the two types of magical talismans.
“So, I’m looking for a glass sphere?”
“Possibly. Spheres work for all mages, but each power family has another shape that resonates for them. Body-mages use cubes; mind-mages use icosahedra—”
“Icosa—what? ”
“Icosahedra. Like this.” She slipped a finger under the gold chain at her neck, pulling it until the ornaments, a gold disc about the size of a half copper and a crystal, were visible. The crystal was the size of a pea, but multi-faceted, made up of tiny triangles all over.
I looked up from the necklace into hazel eyes. “You’re wearing a charm to bend my mind?”
The words were only half jest. I knew Mina wouldn’t have a charm for nefarious purposes, but after everything Powell had done, I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of any sort of charm to alter my thoughts.
She hesitated, and I felt a sick sense of dread.
Then she sighed, pressing the back of one hand to her forehead. “It’s true. I’m actually a gap-toothed, scarred, one-eyed hag. I bought the charm to make people think I am beautiful.”
I laughed, feeling silly that I had suspected the bauble on her necklace was a charm for even an instant. Thank goodness she had treated my accusation as a joke. I leaned closer to her. “You clearly got your money’s worth.”
Her cheeks flushed. I couldn’t stop myself from staring at her softly parted lips.
I wasn’t sure how long we stood there. Whatever thoughts went through Mina’s head, all I could think of was leaning down and kissing her. An urge I knew I shouldn’t follow. Should and shouldn’t were hard to understand in that moment.
But it wasn’t for my sake that I needed to maintain that distance. If anyone walked by and saw us... If Powell had a reason to look closer at Mina...
I turned my head, staring out over the stream. “You mentioned body-mages and mind-mages. What about heart-mages? What shape do they use for charms?”
There was a moment of silence. From the corner of my eye, I caught Mina smoothing down her skirts before her fingers fisted in the material. But her voice was calm when she answered. “A heart- changer would use a dodecahedron. Like my pendant, only made up of twelve pentagons instead of twenty triangles.”
I kept my attention on the far bank of the stream, not daring to turn back. “You know a lot about charms. You aren’t a mage yourself, are you?”
“No. But my education delved a little more deeply into magical theory than many people study. My parents felt it was worthwhile knowledge.”
“I appreciate their foresight.” Finally I turned back, still not daring to look directly at Mina. “But I’m not sure knowing what the charm would look like is ultimately that useful.”
“How can you say that? Breaking the charm ends Powell’s power over you.”
“But does it improve my life at all?” I shook my head. “It’s all pointless in the end.”
Part of me wanted to walk away. This push to pretend anything I did could change matters only made it that much harder to settle into the reality that my life would never improve. But I couldn’t bring myself to walk away from Mina again.
She gaped at me. “What are you talking about? It’s not pointless. I admit it might not be an instant solution, but it is still better than letting Powell do this to you indefinitely.”
“But does it make a difference? Even if your plan to get a magistrate from Haiwella worked, I’d still be left with the aftermath to deal with. People might break out of their magicked opinions and then pity me for what happened. It won’t be any better.”
Mina’s eyes grew stormy. “So you just give up? Fine, the charm means that living in Skorsa will never be as comfortable as it should have been. Then leave. Go to Haiwella, where no one has any false impressions of you, and prove yourself.”
“And if I’m still cursed? I’ll be in a strange city with no resources.”
“There is no curse.” Mina’s voice rose, and she stepped forward, jabbing at my chest with a finger. “If you go to Haiwella, you are beyond Powell’s reach. If you break the charm, there is no magic affecting you at all.”
“You have no way of knowing that. Everything is a guess.”
She sucked in a breath, her hand flattening against my chest. “There’s a second charm.”
“See? You are changing your theory over and over. First a mind-bending charm, then a heart-changing one. Now you are saying two charms? There is too much magic for me to overcome, even if it isn’t a curse.”
“No.” She looked up at me, the anger from earlier completely erased. “Powell is using two charms. One to influence the villagers. One to influence you. You don’t want to try, because he has already magicked you into believing it is pointless. You said you never really tried to change anyone’s mind, right? But why wouldn’t you? Why give up without a fight?”
Her words struck a chord. At first, I hadn’t even realized there was magic involved. Why hadn’t I tried to force someone to see that Powell was spreading lies about me? Why had I always been so convinced that leaving Skorsa would accomplish nothing?
Why had I walked away from Mina without a backward glance last night, when she was the only person in years to see me as a person and not the embodiment of disappointment?
I looked down at the hand still pressed against my chest, the rose ring on her finger. “How do you keep the magic from sweeping you away?”
Her hand dropped, and I immediately missed it.
“I didn’t at first.” She twisted the ring around on her finger. “I know you made the necklace for Eliza. Logically speaking, you must have made the ring, too. If you can create those, then you must have talent. And logical arguments skirt around the influence of a heart-changing charm. Even when it wants me to see you as a disappointment, I know you are a skilled smith. Which means you can’t be a disappointment. And the more I remind myself, the easier it is to remember. ”
“I need a reminder of all the reasons I have not to give up hope. Something I can’t ignore just because a charm wants me to despair.”
“Exactly.”
I met Mina’s eyes and realized she was my reminder. She was my hope.
We still stood nearly toe-to-toe, neither of us having stepped back even after Mina dropped her hand. When my gaze drifted down to her lips this time, I didn’t overthink it. I tilted my head, closing the distance between us.
Her hand splayed against my chest once more, and for a fraction of a heartbeat, I feared she was pushing me away. But she wasn’t. She braced herself against me and met me halfway.
Her lips were soft as a petal, but nowhere near as fragile. She kissed me like she dreamed of never doing anything else. My hands landed on her hips as her tongue licked at my lips. I gave in and took the lead once more, sweeping into her mouth. She tasted like honeyed wine and was even more intoxicating. I pulled her flush against me and kissed her until I was forced to gasp in a breath of air. Then I kissed her again.
The caw of a bird flying overhead reminded me of the world enough that I was able to pull back, though I didn’t take my hands from her hips. Nor did her hand leave my chest as she dropped back to her heels.
She looked up at me, her lips wet and swollen. “Alan.”
I dipped my head and claimed one last quick kiss, then stepped back, shoving my hands into the pockets of my trousers. “I don’t think even the strongest charm could make me forget that.”
She blinked.
“You are my reminder,” I clarified. “My way to remember all the reasons I shouldn’t give up hope.”
She took a step back. “You kissed me in order—”
“No!” Damn it. I should have realized that was how she’d interpret my words. “I kissed you because I couldn’t resist. Because I had already figured out that I would think of you every time the charm tried to make me give up. But now that I have kissed you... well, magic doesn’t stand a chance compared to that.”
A flush of color spread over her cheeks. “It was rather powerful.”
???
I woke from a dream of doing far more than just kissing Mina. It was, without a doubt, the most pleasant dream I’d had in years. Even the frustration that came from waking up couldn’t dim my mood.
In fact, it buoyed me enough that I searched the downstairs while I ate my breakfast. I found nothing that might be a charm, but I pushed away the surge of gloom that followed. It wasn’t likely Powell would keep the charms downstairs. He’d hide them away. Most likely in the bedroom that I couldn’t search while he was still asleep.
I’d have to find a time to search his bedroom. In the evening, when he was off at the tavern, would be best, but it would mean giving up a chance to see Mina. Well, searching his room could wait.
I made my way over to the smithy and threw open the doors. A scoop of coal and time with the bellows got the forge up to temperature. Once I had a bar heating, I laid out the tools I needed this morning. I wanted to work on Mina’s belt knife, and there were a few other commissions to finish.
Soon, I lost myself in the work, barely even noticing when Powell walked through on his way to sit in the shop and claim all my work as his own. I felt the usual rush of negativity when he came to get a piece I had made for the customer who had ordered it, but the phantom taste of honeyed wine on my tongue reminded me not to give into those feelings.
In the afternoon, a shout pulled me out of a world made only of heated metal and careful strikes of a hammer. I looked up, belatedly recognizing the shout as my name .
The man standing with his horse outside the wide doors in the backyard called my name again. “Alan, can you get Master Powell? Dandelion threw a shoe.”
Instead of going to the side door leading to the shop without a word, as I usually would have, I met the eyes of the man who had once been my closest friend. “And you rushed her over right away? Does Gemma have the afternoon free today, by any chance?”
“Shut up,” Cole said in the good-natured tone I hadn’t heard in years. “There’s no need to make fun of me just because you don’t have a girl of your own.”
Thinking of Mina, I struggled to bite back a smile. Then I realized that Cole had reacted the same way he would have before. Telika's hell. Had I spent all these years completely isolated for no reason? Sure, Cole had shown that he was as much under the influence of the magic affecting the villagers as everyone else plenty of times, but it seems it didn’t make him hate me.
“Careful,” I warned. “I’m the one who will decide if we have a horseshoe that can be fitted to Dandelion or if we need to take the time to start from scratch.”
Cole’s smile slipped. “I think that’ll be up to Master Powell.”
Of course. Anything touching on smithing would provoke the charm. Maybe I hadn’t missed out on that much these past years. Avoiding all talk of how I spent my days would have been difficult, even if I had known to do so.
“I’ll grab him,” I said. But even as I walked over to the door, I was thinking of what I could say to Cole to make him see past the charm. Mina had managed with only the necklace and ring as proof of my skill. She had been under the influence of the charm for significantly less time than Cole, but my old friend had also seen far more proof of my capability in the years before Powell came.
I opened the door only enough to poke my head through. “Cole’s brought his mare for a new shoe. ”
I didn’t bother to close the door after I spoke and went back toward the forge. Powell would be out quickly. He hated leaving me alone with customers.
He walked through the forge a moment later, going directly to Cole. “Alan says you need a new horseshoe?”
Cole nodded. “Sorry I didn’t make an appointment. Dandelion threw the shoe when we were closer to the village than the barn, so I figured I’d come straight here. Can you take care of her this afternoon?”
“Of course, of course. I have a few other things to finish, though. If you want to wait at the tavern, I’m sure I can have it done in an hour.”
I rolled my eyes. Powell knew that it wouldn’t take too long to replace a single horseshoe, but he still should have given a longer estimate if he wanted to claim the delay was because he had other things to finish. Then again, he knew that his charm would make Cole accept that Powell had done the work, so long as he got rid of him while it happened.
Knowing that my old friend really had been hoping to use this as an excuse to spend the afternoon with Gemma, I decided to step in. If I handled this just right, it might even get Cole to question things.
“Wait,” I interrupted, surprising them both. I walked back over. “Which foot is it?”
Cole pointed to the mare’s left hindquarter. I walked over and ran my hand down her leg, prompting her to lift it. I gave the hoof a quick look—healthy and no tearing from losing the last shoe. Not that I expected anything different. Cole might have jumped on the excuse to visit the village, but he wouldn’t have brought Dandelion in if she needed to heal before getting re-shod.
“That’s what I thought,” I said, letting her put her foot back down. “We used the last of that size shoe and haven’t made any replacements yet.”
Cole’s brow furrowed. “So, you can’t get it done today? ”
“We can, but probably not until around supper. You can leave Dandelion here; you know the sounds from the forge never phase her. I’ll walk her over to the tavern when we’re done.”
Had I said enough? I wanted Cole to remember all the times I had dealt with his mare in the past. But I didn’t want to say anything too direct. As it was, talking without prompting was probably making Powell suspicious already. He was going to wonder what I was up to.
He’d keep me from talking to any customers in the future, isolating me to the same degree he had after my mother’s death. Not that he had ever encouraged me to talk to customers, even after years of complacency. But he had started asking me how long tasks would take in front of them.
Cole probably hadn’t even noticed my attempt to remind him of the past. Powell had probably noticed too much. This had been a waste.
I turned away, not waiting for a response, not wanting to see the look Cole would surely give me. Returning to the forge, I tended the fire. Closing my eyes, I let the heat wash over me. I imagined Mina as she had looked last night. I flexed my fingers, remembering the feel of her.
Not a waste.
Even if my words did nothing to alter Cole’s opinion, trying wasn’t a waste. Once the charm was broken—I shoved an iron bar into the fire, promising myself that I would break it—I would change everyone’s minds. Planting the seeds now would only help. I had to believe that, no matter how much I wanted to give up hope.