Rei
Rei packed, his hands moving in front of his face as if they belonged to someone else.
Without Sevastyan or Lisa beside him, he had gone into the somewhere, the safer place where his mind was quiet, where he couldn’t see the large man struggling beneath him, fighting for his life as Rei fought for his.
And yet the image was there. Playing over and over. Except for the moments when everything went quiet.
The suitcase was full. He reached for the second one, adding Lisa’s clothes in with his own.
There was enough room. The other slave had arrived with only what was on his back.
Sevastyan had ordered him to buy more, but he’d only collected a few outfits.
Most of what he’d been wearing had been swiped from Sevastyan’s wardrobe.
Sevastyan had tolerated it without comment.
Rei dragged the suitcases to the closet on the other side of the room.
He stood on his one good foot and started in on Sevastyan’s suits.
They had their own case that folded and kept them safe and pressed in their hangers.
His fingers were clumsy. He flexed them, studying the damage.
If he stopped using them, they were going to swell and stiffen until they were useless.
He’d torn skin from his palms. Lisa had sprayed something on the inside of his hands that imitated a skin barrier over the raw areas.
There was only so much time before his body gave out.
He packed faster.
Sounds came from the door. He turned his head. Lisa was there, leaning against the frame. He hopped in on one foot and caught himself on the corner.
“Bullet wound is cleaned,” Lisa said. He grabbed a pair of loose pants and frowned.
Rei pressed his lips together. The damage to Lisa’s leg was extensive. It was too cold outside for only one layer of clothes. He fished into the suitcases and found a warm under layer.
“If you sit on the bed, I’ll help,” he said.
Lisa grimaced and nodded. He hopped to the bed and dropped down on the edge, feet on the floor. Together they got thermal layer over the bandages and wraps on Lisa’s leg. When the Merchari goon had slammed Lisa through the coffee table, his leg had taken the worst of the impact.
When Lisa was dressed, he motioned for Rei to do the same. Rei hesitated.
“We have to leave,” Lisa said, eyes soft.
Rei looked at the clothes. But he couldn’t bring himself to dress, not without Sevastyan’s permission. Not when his master was in the condo.
He crawled to the door and around the corner into the living room. Sevastyan was eating and Ellisandre was sitting to his side, facing him.
Rei opened his mouth but all his training kicked in, training so ingrained that he could obey it even when wracked with pain and gripped by pleasure. Ellisandre knew he was a slave. Merchari rules therefore applied.
He laid his hands on his thighs, holding his posture perfectly, despite his injuries. They were nothing.
He was . . . nothing.
Except that he was.
His thoughts flickered in and out, moving between two conflicting identities. He stayed still, letting the conflict run without involving himself. As long as he was still, as long as he waited on Sevastyan to order him to move, then he was safe from the confusion in his mind.
When he did not know the path, Sevastyan chose.
“Speak, Rei,” Sevastyan murmured.
Rei kept his eyes averted. “Should I dress to leave, master?”
“Yes,” Sevastyan said. “Dress now with Lisa. I thought I told you to. You were right to ask.”
Rei tensed. Had Sevastyan told him to? Perhaps he had. He bowed from where he knelt and turned on his knees—cheeks burning—to crawl back into the bedroom.
Lisa already had clothes chosen for him.
Rei dressed with the other slave’s help. They finished clearing the closet. Then the bathroom. Rei cleaned as they went.
Sevastyan entered when they were stripping the bed.
“Put the sheets in the wash and start them.” Sevastyan said. “Then put on your shoes.”
Lisa and Rei obeyed. It was too hard to hop across the living room. Rei crawled. How he was going to walk to wherever they were going was not his consideration. Sevastyan would make that decision.
Rei put on his shoes. He carefully didn’t look at the bodies behind him. He didn’t want to see the slack face of the man who still had the keyboard cord around his neck. He could still feel the man struggling against him, his life draining away.
Except when he felt nothing.
Nothing was better. But he kept having to rouse himself to do this, to listen to Sevastyan’s voice, to check on Lisa as the other slave tried to get his boots on and failed, gasping and pressing his hand against his ribs.
Rei knee walked the half a meter between them and put his hand against Lisa’s thigh. Allow me, he communicated without speech. Lisa nodded, blinking fast against whatever was happening inside his body.
Ellisandre and Sevastyan joined them at the door, putting on coats and boots. Rei stayed where he was, waiting. He’d just reached the perfect state of nothingness when a hand touched his shoulder.
“Rei.”
He flinched. He’d zoned out so hard he hadn’t heard his master’s voice. Panic gripped his chest. He raised wide eyes to Sevastyan’s face.
“Up, Rei,” Sevastyan held out his hand. “Outside rules.”
Rei swallowed. He didn’t want outside rules. He didn’t have the mask for outside rules. Outside rules didn’t cover the throbbing in his head. Outside rules meant looking like a normal human being, something with a will and a sense of humor.
He couldn’t breathe. There were spots in front of his eyes. He was going to fail. He needed Sevastyan as his master. He needed orders. He needed a chain to tether him to earth because he had no gravity on his own.
“Rei!”
Hands cupped his face and his senses filled with Sevastyan. A thumb stroked across his cheeks. Fingers traced his scars. He’d forgotten his mask.
“Master.”
Sevastyan was right there, but he couldn’t see him.
There were spots of black in his vision.
He needed to find skin to touch, to find his way back to where Sevastyan was calling him.
There were too many layers of clothes in the way.
He was cosplaying something he was not. And he couldn’t.
Every time he reached for the mask, it slipped through his fingers.
Arms wrapped around him and lifted him from the ground. His legs went around Sevastyan’s waist, his arms around Sevastyan’s neck, hanging on. A hand settled on the back of his neck.
“Close your eyes.”
It didn’t matter if he closed them or not. He still couldn’t see. But his master had said to close his eyes. He closed them. Someone was touching his head, pulling a mask on over his face and the hood of his coat over his eyes.
Then they were moving. He lost track of where they were. There were chimes and temperature changes and then he was being pried gently out of Sevastyan’s arms and set inside a vehicle.
“Here,” Lisa said. Rei scooted across a seat and leaned into Lisa.
“How long will this last?” Ellisandre said from somewhere in the front of the vehicle.
“Until he’s recovered,” Sevastyan answered. “I asked him to do something he couldn’t do.”
The car started moving. Energy washed through Rei’s body, tightening his chest. Everything depended on obeying Sevastyan. He’d hardly ever failed to obey. Only on the very edge of exhaustion during training, or a few times after surgeries had he ever failed.
“You’re injured, Rei,” Sevastyan said. “Breathe, Rei. I know you can’t right now.”
“But I have to.”
“No, Rei. Stand down. No outside rules.”
But they were outside. If they were outside, then it was outside rules, always, unless they were on Merchari property.
“We’re in a car. The windows are tinted,” Lisa said. “Not outside. Not outside rules.”
Rei blinked. His vision focused enough to confirm Lisa’s assertions.
“My head hurts.”
“It’s the concussion,” Lisa said.
“I thought I was all right,” Rei whispered.
“You weren’t moving or trying anything new,” Lisa said. “Confusion is normal. Panic is normal.”
“I can’t disobey,” Rei whispered to Lisa. He knew that much. It was safe to say things to Lisa now. Lisa knew. What he knew wasn’t clear, but Lisa knew.
Lisa pulled Rei against his chest. “Our master knows. He communicated. The plan changed. You did right.”
Sevastyan’s hand gripped Rei from behind, fingers tangling in his hair and gripping. “Submit.”
The world went quiet. His body went soft. Sevastyan was pressing him against Lisa. Fingers brushed against his eyes and he closed them. His master was stroking his neck with his thumb.
The vehicle stopped. There were words but nothing mattered except for Sevastyan’s hand and voice.
He could do anything his master ordered him to do.
Sit, stand. Wait. Hold on. His eyes stayed fixed on the floor as his master carried him.
They were moving through hallways and lifts.
There was a door. Then a very different door.
And then tile. Someone removed his shoes.
“Bedroom,” Ellisandre said.
The room had low lights. There was a large bed. Sevastyan set him on the edge. He pulled Rei’s coat off and kept stripping him until he was naked.
On the other side, Lisa was climbing in the bed as well. Ellisandre was moving around but Sevastyan stayed by Rei, arranging the covers over Rei’s legs.
“Rei.” Sevastyan cupped Rei’s face in his hands. “Come back, little one.”
Rei blinked his vision into focus.
“Private space,” Sevastyan said. “Safe.”
Rei shivered. He looked around the room. There was old dark furniture everywhere. Ellisandre was there, looking ready to leave. Rei dug his fingers into the sheets.
“An hour,” Sevastyan said. “Stay with Lisa for an hour. This is a safe house. There’s double security on the entrance. The Merchari don’t know about this place.” He placed a gun down on the bedside table near Lisa.
Rei nodded. Sevastyan had to leave. Again. He wasn’t going to beg him to stay. He wasn’t.
Sevastyan pressed his lips against Rei’s forehead and guided him to lie down.
Rei pressed his cheek to Sevastyan’s and forced himself to let go. Sevastyan had to go. It had something to do with the attack. He wasn’t sure. Something to do with the bodies.
Sevastyan gave him one last look and then glanced towards Lisa. Then he was turning and walking away. Rei gripped the blankets with both hands, willing himself not to cry out.
An arm pulled him down into the mattress and then his face was pressed against Lisa’s bandaged chest.
Rei waited until he heard the outer door click shut.
Only then did the shaking start. He couldn’t stay. His thoughts rose up and slipped to the right, taking him away. And finally, everything was quiet again. There was nothing but sheets and Lisa and he hung there, outside of time or context.