Epilogue
Karen
Two years later
Whoever said life is easy, was either a liar, or hadn’t been faced with the same problems as us.
Don’t get me wrong, it hadn’t all been gloomy, but a recovering gambler isn’t always the life and soul of the party, as we soon found out.
For the first six months, he fought the urge to go to the casino, I think even he thought it would be easier than what it was.
There were times he had to call his sponsor, he found it easier talking to him than me.
Which I didn’t mind, my hormones were all over the place.
I felt like I had to watch his every move – not very good for a relationship that was just starting out.
There were times when his self-hate got too much and he’d cry, saying sorry multiple times as he rested his head on my baby bump.
There were other times I’d cry for a normal relationship, but at the end of the day I loved him.
I poured all my feelings out to Roman and Paisley when they got too much, even Nikki and Rhys.
They were the ones who knew him best, they were also the people who could help with his recovery.
Roman made him his right hand, gave him more responsibility and he worked a lot more closely with Rhys.
It seemed to help, and day by day things slowly got better.
Alex revoked his membership from High Rollers too as a favour to us all.
Alex had seen more than one meltdown already.
He didn’t want him to be tempted, not that he couldn’t go to different casino, but to come through this I had to trust him, we all had to.
I felt like the villain of the peace most days, but I had no other choice.
But we came through it and we’re stronger for it.
Every day, his resilience grows, and I couldn’t be prouder of him. Between work, friends and our little family, we kept him busy enough. Even my mom took him in as a surrogate son. She made sure he was okay, cheered him on from the wings and he found a good friend in my brother, Dan, too.
I’d heard of people losing themselves to the people they loved but I never got it. But in the last two years, I’d done the same thing. Not completely, just a small piece of myself. If I was honest, I lost that the day I met him. There was something about him that I just couldn’t shake off.
As I sat here now, I looked around the house that we’ve made a home in, and my heart is so full of love and contentment.
I got the house I wanted, the wraparound porch, the swing, the small picket fence, and we even got a dog.
Gav had always cheered on an underdog, considering he was one himself, so when he found the white American Bulldog pup laying at the side of the road, hurt, Gav took it upon himself to get him checked out, fixed up and brought him home.
He’s since become part of the family. Just another example of the massive heart he has.
As giggles filtered down the stairs, Max cocked up an ear from beside me, lifted his head and looked towards the stairs. “Easy boy, they’re just playing.” I gave his head a rub and he rested it back down on his paw.
Over the next half an hour the noise upstairs quietened down.
I placed my cup with my sweet tea inside on the table and got up from the couch.
I drifted up the stairs to the bedroom and stood in the doorway.
Gav sat between the two beds as he read our twin girls a story, only I think he was enjoying it way more than he would care to admit, since he was still reading, and Sophie and Imogen were softly snoring away.
With my shoulder resting against the frame, I smoothed my hand over my now protruding belly.
Yes, I was pregnant again.
His voice trailed off to almost a whisper, and he placed the book on the floor. He clambered up and kissed each of them on the foreheads. “Goodnight, my little angels.” I loved seeing him with our girls. The very first time he held them, my ovaries almost exploded. “Daddy loves you.”
I thought my heart was going to burst then and there. Emotions flooded me as he watched them for a moment longer, then turned around. A soft loving smile formed slowly on his lips as he stepped up to me. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Not long.” His hands rested on my belly as he leaned forward and kissed my lips, he stepped around me, led me from the bedroom and pulled the door until there was just a slither of a gap, just enough to let some light in.
We made our way down the stairs. The baby monitor was in his hand as we made our way outside onto the porch.
This was our nightly ritual. The girls would go to sleep and we’d sit out here on the swing to discuss our day and anything else that came up in conversation.
Max followed us outside and lay on the porch at the side of the swing.
Gav’s hand encased mine, he held onto it like I was about to run away as he turned his head to look at me.
“You look tired,”
“Hm, a little.”
“Has this little dude been doing a workout in there again?” I chuckled; he had such a way with words.
“Pretty much. I don’t remember the girls being this energetic though.”
“That’s because they were fighting for their own space in there.” He used his free hand to rub my belly, waiting to see if he’d recognise Daddy’s touch and like magic, he kicked. Gav smiled wide. I loved seeing that smile on his face. “This one has all the space in the world.”
As our baby boy kicked away and Gav teased him by moving his hand to different places to see if he’d follow, I brought up a subject that he’d shot down previously before we could get going, “Have you thought anymore about letting your parents know they’re grandparents?”
“Nope. And no, I won’t consider it and no, I don’t want to talk about it.
” He lay across the swing and rested his head in my lap, snuggling his cheek against my belly.
My fingers ran through his hair and his eyes closed.
He may have changed a lot of his bad habits, but his parents were a subject he refused to back down on.
“Gav?”
“What?” He sounded grumpy now, I’d pissed him off. But I hate to think they might be missing out on two beautiful little souls, but I knew I had to drop it. This was a subject he’d never cave on.
“Would you ever marry me?” There was silence. Other than the crickets clicking away in the grass and the soft snoring from the dog, neither of us so much as breathed. Gav hadn’t moved a muscle yet and I think my heart had stopped.
“Seriously?” his voice was thick with unfiltered emotion.
“Deadly.” Slowly, he picked himself up and sat beside me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at his face instead I looked at our joined hands.
We’d never broached this subject. He’d never asked, and I’d never brought it up, but deep down I wanted him to be my husband. I wanted that commitment…I was ready for that commitment.
My eyes closed as his fingers softly cupped my jaw and turned my face to look at him. I was scared. I didn’t want to see rejection in his eyes. “Open your eyes, sweetheart,” I swallowed, “look at me.”
“I can’t.” My voice was small, timid as I chewed my lip nervously.
“Yeah, you can.” I let them flutter open at his request. “There she is…my princess. My Queen.” He pressed his lips to mine in a tender kiss, it was so soft water filled my eyes, is this where he lets me down gently.
He followed it with a kiss on my forehead.
I tried to smile but the suspense was killing me.
He held my face loosely in his hands as he peppered kisses over my face until he came back to my mouth.
His tongue slipped between my parted lips and kissed me, he bled his passion, his love, his everything into this one kiss and as I clung on to him, I gave him everything I had back.
As he pulled away, our foreheads came together, “Was that a rhetorical question? " He asked softly.
“Maybe.”
He nodded, “Then maybe I would.”
“Gav, this isn’t the time to joke.” I huffed, released him and stood from the swing.
I left him on the porch and went back inside.
Once I’d made it through to the kitchen and stood at the sink, my fingers clung onto the edge, tears formed and threatened to fall, but I wouldn’t let them.
Maybe it was rhetorical, it was a spur of the moment to ask him, but it felt right.
It wasn’t like I haden’t been thinking about it at all.
I grit my teeth as I urged the tears not to fall.
I felt him behind me as his presence loomed but I wasn’t going to turn around, instead I started putting the clean dishes away. I could keep myself busy and push it out of my mind.
The plate was then taken from my fingers and placed on the counter. He lifted me into his arms and started walking with me. “Gav put me down. I’m too heavy.”
“Shh.” He climbed the stairs. I didn’t argue though there was no point.
He pushed open the door with his foot and carried me toward the bed where he lay me down.
He stripped off his shirt, unfastened his jeans and pushed them over his hips until he was just in his boxers.
As he covered me with his sexy body, he steadied his weight with his elbows on either side of my head, leaned down and pressed his lips to mine and devoured me in a passionate kiss.
“Yes.” He muttered. My brows pinched slightly. I didn’t want to make too much out of that little three letter word.
He got up and took off my leggings and panties, I pulled off the shirt I was wearing until I was just in my bra and with his boxers sliding down his muscly thighs, he crawled back over me and lifted my legs and parted them.
He very slowly slid inside of me. I let out a gasp as he filled me completely, until I was totally consumed by him. “Ask me again.” He breathed.
I swallowed through the dryness of my mouth and licked my lips then breathed, “Would you ever marry me?” I asked in a low voice.
“Yes.”
“What?”
“I said yes.” He thrust softly, grinding his pelvis as our groins met, “I’d love nothing more than to be married to the love of my life.
To the woman who dragged me out of the hole that I was drowning in.
” he thrust firmer this time, “and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life doing this,” a stray tear rolled down my face, “bringing up our kids and being the best husband, and father I can be.”
“Oh God, Gav.” I lost control of my tears as they spilled from my eyes while he made perfect love to me and got lost in each other.
This was us.
This is how we worked.
Gav had never been a man of many words, but his actions made up for that. He was like a blazing fire. Risky, dangerous for my health, and full of scorching heat. But one that I loved immensely, and I was never going to let him go.
I forgave Gavin of all his faults, because everyone deserved that second chance. Instead, we got through them together, as a couple, a forged unit. I loved him so much and I knew he loved me the same way.
No relationship was perfect, no one person was perfect, and I knew at times, our relationship wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be our perfect and for us. Sometimes you had to take a chance because if not, you could be letting the best thing in your life pass you by.
There was so much goodness deep inside of him, I knew that after that first time I met him. After all, my heart chose him before I even really knew him, and for me that was enough.
We’d already danced in the rain, soldiered on through the storm and now it was time to enjoy the calm. He was my person, and I was his princess, and now we got to forge our own fairy tale, and I couldn’t wait.