30. Jason
30
T his is the first time in years that I miss home.
I survey my boys around me, spread out over Hunter’s lounge while he’s standing behind the grill with a beer in his tattooed hand.
Hunter and I moved to LA right after graduation. He got picked up by the American Fighting Association and soon became the best fighter out there, while I went to college and majored in Sports Management.
We had as much fun as you can imagine when two teenagers move from small-town North Carolina to LA. It’s where we met Jensen, who moved in with us in the big house Hunter’s manager put us in, and soon Bodi, Jensen’s best friend, made us all become friends. Add Jordan attending Berkeley a couple of years later, and most of my life has been situated on the West Coast.
But not that all has changed.
Hunter moved back east when he and Charlotte finally got together and Jensen and Bodi followed not long after. I never considered moving back.
I like the California sun, the beach, the waves. I like Los Angeles, even though the glitz and glam is something I can do without. I like how everyone in LA has a dream, a goal, and ambition.
But looking around, there’s one thing it doesn’t have for me anymore.
Family.
Because that’s what these boys are to me. I miss the nights we’d just hang out and chill. The nights we’d play poker and talk about Jensen’s hockey games. Or the nights we’d get trashed and complain about women.
Women.
The thought curves my lips, because there’s only one woman for me.
“So, you and Julie, huh?” Jensen surveys from beside me, as if the broody jock can read my mind.
“It was about time.” Hunter takes a sip of his beer, smiling from behind the bottle.
I cut him a look. “It’s not official yet.”
“But you want it to be?” Bodi, the most sensible of all of us, asks.
“It’s going to be.” There’s no fucking doubt.
She’s under my skin, always has been. When she smiles, I feel different chemicals rushing through my blood. When she touches me, I swear it’s like I light up. My brain wakes up with her in my mind. And my heart is ready and determined to capture hers, whether she agrees or not.
She’s mine.
“Oh, cocky.”
Hoots and hollers pass around the group.
I breathe out a chuckle, lifting my shoulder. “It’s not cocky. It's just the truth.”
We’ve wasted enough time pussyfooting around, trying to not make waves. Well, I don’t know if anyone noticed? But I like waves. I’m ready for whatever waves are coming my way. I can handle it. I will ride it and make it my bitch.
“What about Jacob?” Hunter eyes me.
Including my asshole brother, who’s the equivalent of a tsunami.
“What about him?” I bring the bottle in my hand to my lips, enjoying the bitter tones on my tongue.
“He’s cool with you two?”
I’m not sure if he knows, but if he does, I doubt he’s cool with it. But you know what? He had his time. He had his chances. A shitload of them. He fucked them all up, and I still did my best to be his brother. A courtesy I never got from him.
I’m done trying to be cool with Jacob.
He can go fuck himself.
“I don’t care if he is.”
I groan when Hunter’s eyebrow cocks with unspoken words in the corner of his mouth.
“What?”
“There was a time you did care.”
I roll my eyes as he continues.
“Look, all I’m saying is don’t let him get in your head again.”
“Again?” My little brother sits up, eyes popping with curiosity. “What don’t I know?”
Thanks, Hunt.
I glare at my best friend, whose grin only expands as he flips a burger in the air.
He turns to face Jordan, aiming the spatula in the air like he’s Harry Potter or something. “Let’s just say, if Jason didn’t let Jacob get into his head, this whole Julie situation would have gotten sorted a little in advance. Maybe we’d even have a mini-Spencer chasing Logan around right about now.”
“Shut up, Hunter,” I sing-song through my teeth, flipping him off.
A knot forms in my stomach, pulling on my chest from the inside.
That’s definitely a memory I wanted to keep locked up and never revisit.
Jordan meets my eyes, amusement flicking through them. “You already hooked up with Julie in the past?”
I open my mouth to deny everything and tell him not to listen to my soon-to-be ex-best friend, but quick with his fist and his mouth, Hunter already beats me to it.
“No, but he wanted to. Holding flowers and a boombox, he was ready to go.”
I throw the nearest thing I can find at his head, and he ducks away from Jensen’s Hurricanes cap that lands on the grill.
“Hey, that’s mine!” he whines.
“Are you done talking, asshole?” The smell of fabric burning lingers through the smoke of the grill, before Hunter quickly throws it back on the ground with a laugh barking from his chest.
Smoldering heat surrounds the damaged merchandise, and Jensen is staring at it with a pouting lip.
“That’s the first time the Hurricanes are on fire this season,” Bodi says dryly, before we all erupt in laughter. Jensen punches his best friend, though he can’t hold back his smile either.
And this is exactly what I miss.
“I didn’t know that,” Jordan says when we’ve settled down a bit.
“Oh, yeah, but your older brother.” Hunter continues. “The one who’s a dickhead–”
“So not him?” Jordan points at me with a straight face and my eye crinkle.
“Funny.”
“Not him,” Hunter confirms. “He found out, got into his head, and talked him out of it. The next day, Julie was back together with Jacob.”
“What?” Jensen exclaims. “When was this?”
“Senior year. The first time Julie and Jacob broke up.”
You know, for someone who couldn’t find the words to get his girl back for seven goddamn long years, Hunter sure is chatty, ain’t he?
Asshole.
“You’ve been into Julie since senior year?” Jordan’s reaction is genuine, but the truth in his words still gives me goosebumps.
I wasn’t in love with Julie in high school. I know, because what I’ve felt for her the past couple of years is way more intense than whatever crush I had on her back then. But yeah, I thought she was the coolest chick I knew, and I wanted to date her. Pulling something big to get her attention after she was treated like a side chick by my brother seemed like the thing she deserved.
I nod, rubbing my face before my eyes connect with Jordan’s.
“So you freaked out?” Bodi doesn’t say shit to piss people off; that’s Hunter or Jensen’s job, but the little tease in his expression does hit a nerve.
I aim my glare around to cross them all. “None of ya’ll have any right to say shit. You waited seven years.” I point my beer at Hunter, then flip my chin to Jensen. “You let your mother pick out your bride before you grabbed your balls and went for the blonde inside, and you.” I finally come back to Bodi. “You bailed out of nowhere because she was too young.”
“She is too young,” Bodi argues, but then tones it down when I cock an eyebrow. “Yeah, okay. I get the point. So what changed?”
What changed ? Everything. I’m older, life is short, and I’m not gonna waste any more time wondering what to do. Besides, I think when I was younger, I still hoped that at some point, Jacob and I could get along. Maybe even become friends someday.
Now I realize that ship has sailed and burned to the bottom of the ocean. There’s no coming back from that.
“You know this is the first time we’ve been alone for years? Usually, Jacob gets between us in some kind of way. Now, I won’t let him.”
“Have you told her yet?” Bodi queries.
“What?”
“That you love her.” Bodi McKay, ladies and gentlemen, always the perceptive one. You can’t hide shit from him.
“No.”
Jensen sniffles, placing his empty bottle on the patio table. “Are you planning some kind of grand gesture? Another boombox?”
“Flowers?” Hunter offers.
“Rent out a carnival?” Bodi pitches in, reminding us of how he won Kayla back by renting out her favorite thing in the whole world.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he bought her a theme park for a wedding gift one day.
“I thought about just telling her like a grownup?” I make a face.
“Yeah, that could work too.” Jordan agrees, followed by a silence that gets my attention his way. “Or you could just put a ring on it and be done with it.”
“Nope, don’t steal my idea.” Jensen points an accusing finger in my face with a tone that means business, and we all fall silent.
Wide eyes are all around until Hunter breaks the silence. “You’re gonna propose?”
He stretches his body a little more horizontally on the soft cushions, digging his hand in his pocket before pulling out a red velvet box. We all exclaim something like what the hell before he shushes us, peeking his head up to make sure we didn’t catch the girls’ attention inside.
“You already got a ring! Jensen, that’s amazing.” Bodi grabs his shoulder, a genuine grin splitting his tanned face.
We all offer our congratulations.
“She still has to say yes.” The big, bulky piece of human, who crushes people on the ice for a living, suddenly mumbles and gets shy, staring at the box in his hand.
“As if that’s a question.” Hunter huffs, and Jensen says something, but I’m fixated on the red square in his hand.
I want that . I want Julie in a white dress, ambling my way with a bouquet of blue daisies in her hand. I want to call her my wife when I introduce her to people because the term girlfriend just doesn’t fit.
Logan screeches, and I glance at the little boy playing with his humongous dog. The pure joy written on his face tugs on my heart and curls my lips.
And I want that too. I want Julie to be the mother of my children. I want our kids to play with my friends' kids. And in fifty years, I wanna sit on a porch with her and stare into her eyes, knowing I’m the luckiest bastard in the world.
Because I love her more than anything.
And she needs to know.
I slap Jensen on his leg and our gazes click. “I’m happy for you, man.” I get up, ready to give in to the urge not to waste another second. “I’m gonna go find my girl.”
“Oh, his girl,” Hunter teases as I pass by, and more hoots and hollers bellow behind me.
I slam my fist into his shoulder, and he ducks with an ouch and a groan. Not enough to get rid of his contagious laughter, though.
“Shut up,” I bark.
But as I stroll back up to the house, my smile is as wide as theirs.
Because that’s exactly what she is, my girl.