Chapter 42
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Christian
Snow crunches under the wheels of my dirt bike as cold air bites through my gloves.
The world is white and blinding, breath puffing out in thick clouds. Devon clears the ramp in front of me, weightless against the gray sky. Huckslee's bike angles just right for him to land smoothly in the fluffy powder like he’s been doing this his whole life.
“Hell yeah!” Taylor whoops beside me, bouncing in his seat. “You see that shit?”
“I saw it,” I grumble, heart still lodged in my throat.
Dev circles back toward us, snow spraying from his tires. “Okay, that one felt good. How'd it look?”
“Textbook front flip,” Tay says excitedly. “You didn’t even panic.”
I grunt in agreement. “You trusted the throttle that time. It was good.”
Dev nods as he lifts his visor. “Yeah. I stopped second-guessing everything.”
His cheeks are bitten pink from the cold, eyes bright in a way I'm starting to become obsessed with. Two weeks ago, the guy could barely do a whip. Getting back onto a bike for the first time since the crash terrified him, and now he's fucking flying.
“You're learning quickly,” Taylor says, giving him a fistbump. “Christian took an entire month to even pop a wheelie.
“I was seven, pendejo,” I growl, punching him in the arm.
“Pretty sure we were ten.”
“Maybe you were ten when you first learned. I was seven.”
“Quit lying to impress your boyfriend,” he teases, earning him another—harder—punch.
“Shut the fuck up.”
Jesus. We haven't even… officially labeled ourselves or anything. Though I did tell my best friend earlier that we were exclusive.
Dev just laughs and kicks snow at us. “You guys think I can go higher?”
Taylor’s resounding, “yes,” interrupts my bark of, “No!”
They both turn to blink at me in confusion.
“You can,” I sigh, dragging a hand down my face. “But not yet.”
Devon studies me for a moment, tilting his head. “You scared?”
A little.
But not of the jump.
“I don’t want you rushing it,” I tell him.
Something soft passes over his face, an expression I've gotten intimately familiar with over the last few weeks. “Okay,” he says quietly. “We’ll build up to it.”
We.
My heart somersaults, making me choke on the cold air. “Alright.”
Taylor claps his hands together. “A few more clean runs, then hot chocolate. I can't feel my toes.”
“Deal,” Dev grins, sliding his helmet on before thumbing his throttle. He hits the ramp again, lifting into a spin, and lands confidently as snow sprays from his tires.
Tay whistles low. “Damn. He really is doing better than I thought he would.”
I don’t answer. My eyes stay glued to him as he circles back around and lines up for another run.
Then another, all clean landings with no wobbles.
As old as Huckslee's bike is, it seems to be riding really well.
I should probably still tune it up, though.
Maybe get some new snow tires. And there's a thicker moto jacket buried in my closet somewhere, so that he's warm.
It's got more padding. Much safer than the one he's wearing—
“You know you can’t do that,” Taylor sighs, blowing out a breath.
I glance at him briefly before giving my attention back to Dev. “Do what?”
“Protect him from everything.”
That hits me straight in the gut, and I turn to frown at my best friend. “I’m not trying to.”
Devon launches again, higher this time. My stomach drops instinctively until his tires stick the landing without fail.
“You tense every time he jumps,” Tay continues, smirking.
“So? He's new at this shit, man. I wanna make sure he's safe so he doesn't—” My throat tightens, and I have to look away to hide my expression. “So he doesn't crash.”
The smirk vanishes from Taylor's face.
Dev rides back around, laughter cutting through our silence. “Okay, I felt that one in my soul.”
I force myself to give him a smile. “That's that serotonin, baby. Gets the blood pumping.”
He takes off again, nearly at top speed, fist in the air. My teeth sink into the grooves I've carved on the inside of my cheek over the last few days watching him get faster and faster at this. Maybe asking him to join us was a bad idea.
“You can spot him as much as possible,” Tay says gently, his gaze on my profile. “Teach him all the right techniques and show him how to do this safely. But eventually, he's going to crash. You know it's inevitable.”
“Stop.” I press my knuckles into my eyes. “Just… he almost died last year, Tay. All because I had to go and punch him out for fucking Arya. Do you remember what he looked like in the hospital?”
“Yeah, I do, because Huck and I were there when he woke up. You weren't, though.”
My head whips toward him. “Wow. Low blow, motherfucker.”
Taylor raises his palms in defense. “Look, all of us had a lot going on after the crash. I’m just saying you can’t punish yourself forever over shit you couldn’t control.”
“Easy for you to say,” I scoff.
“Is it? Why do you think I watched every single one of Huckslee's college games? And then again, over the last four years, while he was playing for the Ravens? You think it's easy being miles away behind a screen while your boyfriend takes a tackle hard enough to possibly stop his heart?”
My chest tightens as I stare at my best friend, shocked into silence.
“Every hit,” he continues, “every fall. Every time he didn’t get back up right away, I'd think this is it. This'll be the call that kills me. I can't go through what happened in high school again, man.”
“Carino, no,” I rasp, placing my hand on his arm. “That's not… It wasn't…”
He smiles dryly. “Yeah. Not my fault. See? I can’t control it. I can’t keep Huck from getting hurt, or stop the world from being cruel. All I can do is love him through the bad. And that's all you can do, too.”
Devon finally loops back around to head toward us. “Kay, I think I'm done for the day. It's fucking freezing.”
He swings his leg over the bike and hops down, boots crunching in the snow as he pulls his helmet off. Nose red, hair plastered to his forehead with sweat despite the chill—alive and beautiful. I have to look away to hide the emotion on my face.
“You good?” he asks, brows knitting together.
“Yeah,” I lie. “Just cold.”
He nudges my shoulder. “Thanks for teaching me. Both of you.”
“Anytime,” Tay says easily.
Dev grins again before wheeling Huck’s bike toward the truck, breath puffing around his cheeks.
My best friend slaps my arm lightly. “Gets easier, I promise.”
“I don't believe you,” I mutter, but he’s already walking away.
I stand there and stress for a bit longer than necessary before shoving my hands into my pockets to follow. There’s no point sending myself into a spiral. No amount of worrying is going to rewind last year or stop whatever comes next. I can’t hover over Dev forever.
Like Taylor said: All I can do is love him through the bad—and hope that it's enough.
Night has fully fallen by the time Dev and I get home, both of us exhausted from hours of riding.
He slides out of the Bronco after me, but doesn't move when I start toward the apartment. Instead, he leans against the passenger door with his face tipped toward the sky.
“You coming?” I ask, craving a hot shower.
He responds absently. “In a sec.”
Deciding to join him, I pull out a pack of smokes and press into his side for warmth.
“Forgot how many stars you can see out here,” he murmurs when I offer him a cigarette.
“Yeah. City lights usually kill ‘em.”
We stand there in silence, passing the smoke back and forth as the night sky stretches above us.
Devon eventually glances over. “Does it ever make you feel small?”
“What? The sky?”
He shakes his head, exhaling a puff of cold air. “Space. The stars. Whatever's out there peeking through.”
“Ah.” My gaze swings back to the flickering dots overhead while I contemplate my answer. “Honestly, I never thought much about what's up there. I mean, obviously I feel like something is, but to me, it's more like… a vibe, I guess.”
“A vibe?”
“Yeah. Like we're all part of the same universe, even the stars. Energy you put out is the energy you get back, and all that shit. Golden rule, you know?”
He smiles, tilting his head back again. “I think I like that better. I’ve always needed something bigger than myself, and you make it sound less lonely. Like, even if nothing’s watching, we’re still connected to each other.”
I take another drag and flick ash into the snow. “Guess that’s why we work so well. I keep shit grounded while you're up in the clouds.”
Dev huffs out a quiet laugh. “So you're my anchor, hot shot?”
Glancing over at him, I meet his gaze in the starlight, warm enough to set my soul on fire. “Something like that.”
I'll be whatever you need me to be, for as long as you need it.
The cold finally starts to bite through my jacket, and I stub out the cigarette before pulling him against me. “Come on, Skywalker. It's freezing out here.”
“Holy shit. Was that a Star Wars joke?”
“Don't tell Logan,” I groan, tugging him toward the porch. “He'll think I actually enjoyed watching those fucking movies.”
Devon hugs me from behind as we step inside. “Should I tell him that you thought Kylo Ren was sexy?”
“Dude, I said he was built. Not sexy. Guy's tall and muscled like my—” I cut myself off, then decide to hell with it. “Like my boyfriend.”
The words hang there for half a second, then Dev's hold tightens around my waist. “Boyfriend?”
My heart leaps into my throat. “You gonna make this weird?”
“Nope. Just making sure I heard you right.” Before I can answer, he moves us to the couch, where he bends me over the back of it and presses his dick against my ass.
“Jesus,” I mutter, gripping the cushions. “That make you horny, pastelito? Being my boyfriend?”
“No, Kylo Ren's muscles do.”
Grinning broadly, I slam my ass back hard enough to set him off balance and spin around to switch our positions. When I have him bent over instead, I gently palm his throat from behind.
“Get ready, baby, because your boyfriend's about to fuck those muscles out of your brain.”
And he lets me, giving just as much as he takes.