8. The Rose
Chapter 8
The Rose
“ H ave you lost all sense?” Grayson sounded more wolf than man as his roar echoed through the square. His chair fell back against the ground and he rose from his seat.
“I could ask you the same. Is there something you’d like to discuss?” It took every ounce of willpower to keep my voice level, but the urge to scream at the top of my lungs was growing stronger with each moment that passed.
“Do you not understand what invoking a Pack Rite means? People die in these challenges!” His stupidly broad chest heaved with every breath he took.
I laughed humorlessly. We both knew that between the two of us, I was the only to have actually competed in it. For him to act otherwise was one more insult added to an already open wound.
“Oh, do they?” I asked. “Funny, I thought it was a tea party. I was really looking forward to those little sandwiches.” Makenna snickered but rolled her lips between her teeth at the Alpha’s glare.
“This isn’t a joke, Briar.” He stepped closer to me, hands balling into fists at his hips.
“I’m not laughing, Grayson.” I looked him dead in the eye and cursed his tall height when I had to tilt my head up to do it. I used to love how tall he was–how small, safe I felt next to him. The follies of youth. “Makenna issued a challenge, and I accepted it. Which part of that involves you?”
“I do like her, and it’s Kenna. Please gods never call me Makenna again.” She came up to stand beside Grayson and said pleasantly, “Briar, after I win the Rite, I’d love to make you one of my Enforcers.”
She sounded utterly sincere. Who was this woman, and wasn’t she the one Grayson should worry about losing her senses?
“Kenna, will you please stay out of this?” Grayson’s reluctant tone told me he already knew her answer.
“Not a chance, wolf boy.” My head jerked back at the nickname, and Grayson’s glower grew fiercer as the corners of my mouth rose. Wolf boy? “She’s right. Which part of this involves you?”
“The part where I don’t want to see my pack mate turned into a living dummy you use as target practice or a scratching post for your lion.”
So. Little. Faith.
“I think you underestimate her.” She turned her emerald eyes on me. “I’m going to win, make no mistake, but something tells me it won’t be a simple fight. I’m looking forward to it.”
Kenna patted Grayson’s shoulder before walking, or more like skipping, out of the quad and into one of the nearby buildings.
I looked at Isaac and asked, “Is she always that peculiar?”
“That was actually a more normal, pleasant interaction with her. If I’m honest, it was a little unnerving to see her smile.” Isaac stared, dumbfounded, at the door she’d disappeared through.
“I don’t know if that makes me like her less or more.” Striking fear into your enemies with a smile was an admirable quality in my book.
“Well, I’m pretty sure she plans to be your new best friend, so I’m not sure it matters either way.” We’d see how she felt after I won the Pack Rite. She wouldn’t be the first person to turn against me for doing so.
Grayson was right when he said people died in these challenges. There were three ways the battle could end: yielding, being knocked unconscious, or death. When the time came, I hoped she’d yield. I didn’t relish the thought of adding another soul’s passing to my already murky conscience, but this wasn’t the time to get lost in memories of sins past. There was an angry Alpha to handle.
The brooding wolf was back to staring me down, arms folded across his chest, raised brow, down-turned mouth in a frown. He was the picture of a disapproving older brother, and I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him further.
I didn’t trust myself to keep my temper under control. The flames simmering under my skin begged louder and louder to be released the longer I stood there frozen in his gaze. It only worsened as his scent assaulted my senses. Pomegranate and leather . He’d barely come of age before he left, but those few short days were enough for the smell to haunt me in his absence.
I’d missed the boy who made me feel like I belonged. I’d grieved for the man I believed he’d turn into, even when I knew neither had existed at all. Not really. But staring up into the face of the mirage who’d played him, I longed for him anyway.
The fire drained from my veins, and I released a sigh. I didn’t want to fight. Not then.
Being the extremely mature woman I was, I ignored his glare and took off my rucksack to reach inside. I removed one of the two packages Lucas had given me and shoved one into his stupidly broad chest.
“Your father sent us these. He hoped we could share them to start our partnership leading the pack. Forgive me if I prefer to eat mine alone. Something here is rotten. It’s made me lose my appetite.”
His flinch was small, but it was there. Good. I hoped it hurt to know he was betraying his father’s wishes even if he cared nothing about betraying mine. I looked at the gobsmacked pack members still sitting around the table, and said, “Lovely to meet you all. I’ll see you in class.”
One of the females gave a shy grin and waved at me, but both fell when the male next to her nudged her side.
I walked back the way we’d come, and kept my head high as I went. A ball of emotion rose in my throat when I realized Isaac was not the only one following me. Naomi and Marcus were close behind. I wouldn’t have blamed them if they’d stayed with Grayson, but I was grateful for their loyalty.
Just as we reached the door, I heard Grayson call my name. I turned back and waited to hear what he could possibly want, but he rolled his lips between his teeth and said nothing.
Did nothing.
I gave a small shake of my head, straightened my back, and turned away. How disappointing.
I crossed the hall to rest my forehead against the cool stone of the wall as soon as I passed through the door. Two minutes. I just needed two minutes to let myself feel this and then I’d move on.
“Do you think this is a good time to point out that once again, we were completely ignored? I mean, Grayson didn’t even look at me.” Naomi was likely trying to whisper, but as usual, her attempt was unsuccessful.
“Probably not.” Isaac’s tone left no room for discussion on the matter.
One more minute.
“Why would he be looking at you, anyway? Did you not notice the stare-down he was having with Briar? I doubt you crossed his mind. Maybe if you were the one covered in blood, he’d have said something to you, but you chose to stay in the carriage,” Marcus pointed out helpfully.
“You didn’t leave the carriage either, you hypocrite!”
“Yeah, but I also didn’t complain about Grayson ignoring me.”
“You were the one who complained about being left out in the first place!”
I was going to intervene before their bickering escalated to the point of no return, but just as I opened my mouth to reply, the wolf in question burst through the door. The small parcel of cake I’d given him was still clutched in his hand.
I was surprised he hadn’t tossed it in the waste bin alongside his loyalty. He noticed my stare and quickly put the small parcel in his pocket.
I wished I had cake-sized pockets.
“Sure,” Marcus mumbled, “Now he comes to find us.”
Grayson’s gaze skimmed over the others before fixing on me. I refused to acknowledge the flicker of hope I felt that he’d come after me.
“Would you all excuse us?” His tone was chilling. “Briar and I have much to discuss.”
To their credit, none of my pack mates took a single step until I nodded my head for them to go.
“Come on,” Isaac said, “I’ll show you to your rooms.” The three of them reluctantly made their way down the hall with a pace that would make a turtle feel like it was flying. Isaac’s hand squeezed mine, and the twins sneered at Grayson as they passed.
As they rounded the corner, I heard Naomi comment, “That didn’t count as a hello.” She wasn’t wrong.
I tore my eyes from where they’d disappeared and reluctantly looked back at Grayson. He was leaning against the wall I’d rested my head against moments prior, arms and ankles crossed.
“Well?” I asked, “You wanted to talk.”
“Do you think you can drop the attitude long enough for us to do that?” he asked. One of his eyebrows raised as he awaited my answer like an expectant parent handling a petulant child.
“You don’t think my attitude is justified given the choices you’ve made today?” I countered. “My gods, Grayson, even if you don’t think much of me I thought you’d at least have enough respect for your home pack–not to mention your other pack mates arriving today–to face me yourself instead of sending Isaac to deliver a message in your place.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” He splayed his hands in front of him and looked around in mock confusion. “Did you not enjoy arriving somewhere and the person you were hoping to see was nowhere to be found? I wonder what that must feel like.”
I narrowed my eyes and took a step closer to him. Had he always been this infuriating?
I refused to be enchanted by the dimple that appeared as one corner of his mouth raised in an arrogant grin. I hated that dimple.
“Is something bothering you?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Because the last time I checked, you weren’t the one whose position was undermined by their own pack mate.”
His head drew back as he asked, “That’s what you’re upset about?” His forest green eyes flicked between mine. “You should’ve been thanking me for arranging that. Instead you let a few hurt feelings drive you into accepting a challenge you have no standing to take.”
“No standing?” I growled. “I am the highest ranking female in this pack–in any pack–with the exception of your mother. I have every right to defend my title against anyone who would question it, and I will do that with or without you at my back.”
“Just because my mother gave you the Beta Luna position at home–”
“ Excuse me?”
“ –doesn’t mean you can just be handed the Luna position here at the Academy. Kenna’s claws would slice you to shreds in seconds. Goddess, Briar, I thought you were smarter than this.”
“And I thought you were better than this,” I said, “so I guess we’re both disappointed.”
The silence between us was louder than any scream I could have mustered.
Grayson’s face held the same expression it held when he was preparing to hunt a rogue or defend the pack against intruders—I’d seen it countless times in our youth. It motivated me to take up my sword by his side and cut down our enemies—together.
I just never thought the enemy would be me.
He opened his mouth to, I could only assume, continue airing his disappointment in me. I straightened my back and took a step closer to him, steeling myself against whatever venom would spew from his mouth. I refused to lower my gaze no matter how much it hurt to see the coldness in them where warmth used to radiate.
Instead of the barrage of insults or condescending lecture I expected, he exhaled deeply, releasing some of his body’s rigidity with his breath..
“I hate that it feels like we’re on opposing sides,” he said and dropped his head to the wall behind him. “This isn’t what I wanted. The first time we saw each other again in years wasn’t supposed to be filled with animosity.”
“Well, it’s definitely not what I wanted.” I snorted. “What did you expect to happen? That I’d just listen to Isaac’s message and fall in line.”
He nodded and said, “Yes. That’s exactly what I thought would happen. I expected there to be some slight frustration that I didn't come to see you, but nothing we wouldn’t get past quickly.” To be fair, not that I’d ever admit it aloud, in the past I might have, if only to stay in his good graces.
“Then that’s your own fault for making asinine assumptions.”
“There was never a shadow of a chance that Kenna would accept a new Luna. Issuing the challenge was inevitable, but we have the chance to control what happens next. I’m trying to do what’s best for the pack–for both packs.”
“And you decided that what was best for the packs couldn’t possibly be me, right?” The cuts just kept coming.
“You have to see where I’m coming from, Bri.”
“Don’t call me that,” I snapped at him, “We aren’t friends right now, and only friends get to call me that.”
He turned toward me then, eyes full of torment I’d wanted to see from him in the quad. Torment that begged me to understand, to fall in line before something was broken that we couldn’t repair. He couldn’t have known, but we’d never get it back.
We’d never had it at all.
“What else would you have had me do?” he asked. “You can’t win against her. Even if she never shifts, she’s too strong for you to defeat. I’m not just trying to protect the pack, I’m trying to protect you . Don’t you get that?”
“What I get,” I said, slowly, “is you have so little faith in me that you made a choice all on your own with a ripple of consequences. People are maimed in the Pack Rite, Grayson. People die, and not just the first challengers to fight. This puts the entire pack at risk!”
“That’s why I wanted you to abdicate without accepting the challenge. If you’d just stood down, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“We wouldn’t be in this mess if you had shown me a shred of trust, or given me a modicum of respect. If you had waited for me–if you’d come to talk to me–maybe we could have avoided this entire thing, but instead, you went behind my back and sent our friend to deliver the news in your place.”
“I sent Isaac to save you the embarrassment.”
“You sent Isaac because you were being a coward!” His nostrils were flaring now, but I didn’t stop. “Something in you knew this was wrong or you would’ve been there, on the front steps, waiting for me. If not that, then you would’ve at least said something to me the second I entered the quad. Instead, you acted as if I didn’t exist even as I stood right in front of you.”
“Well you’d know best when it comes to pretending like someone didn’t exist, wouldn’t you?” I chose to ignore that as he raked his hands through his hair and pulled at its roots. “Don’t you get it? I’m trying to protect you! Catering to you would only put a bigger target on your back.”
“I don’t need your protection! I wanted your support, but even that I can manage without. The only target on my back is the blood you drew stabbing me in it. ”
Before I even fully realized it, he was moving. A second later, I was caged against the window with him leaning over me, trapping me with a hand on my waist and a forearm above my head.
“You can’t win this challenge, and I can’t watch you get hurt. I can’t watch you die.”
He moved even closer, only inches separating us now. My chest rose and fell faster, and I tried to look anywhere but at him.
“Do you think I didn’t want to run to you the moment you walked through that door?” he asked. “Could you not hear my heart drop at the sight of the blood marring your skin? Could you not see that I would cut down every person, every creature who’d hurt you?”
“No.” I admitted in an equally hushed tone, “I couldn’t. I didn’t think you thought of me at all because if you had, you couldn’t have done this to me. The only one who hurt me today was you.”
“Back out of the challenge.” It was more of a command than a request, but I noticed the hint of desperation in his voice.
“No.”
“Then what am I supposed to do?” he asked. “What is it you want from me?” I was torn between crying for him and strangling him. I wanted him to know what I wanted. I wanted him to want it too.
“I won’t ask you to give anything more than what you’ve already given.” The skin framing his eyes creased. “I don’t need you to watch over me or help me acclimate. I don’t need you to indulge my whims, take me on adventures, or have me at your side. I don’t need you to do anything except stay out of my way while I prove to this pack I am the Luna they deserve, whether you believe that to be true or not.”
The blood drained from his face with each new word I spoke. “Briar, don’t let pride prevent self-preservation. You don’t have to go through with this.”
“You aren’t listening to me.” I stood taller, bringing my eyes a few inches closer to his. “I will be the victor left standing at the end of this challenge. Arguing amongst ourselves isn’t going to solve this. What’s done is done and can no longer be undone. The longer we talk, the more this hurts, and the more I fantasize about beating your head in with the shovel I’d later use to dig your grave.”
His eyebrows shot toward his hairline, and, if I didn’t know better, I’d say his lips were pressed together to fight a grin.
“Did you just threaten to kill me?”
“Of course not.” I rolled my eyes. “I was merely fantasizing about gutting you and hiding your body where only maggots and rot could find it. That’s completely different than a death threat.”
“Is it now?” He did smile then, a bit of, dare I believe it, warmth entering his eyes.
“Obviously. I’d never be so careless as to warn my prey of their impending demise, let alone provide a step-by-step plan for them to counter. It’s fun to dream though, isn’t it?”
He chuckled and paused for a minute before he next spoke.
“It is fun to dream,” he said, “But as fun as it is, we eventually have to wake up. We have to face reality.”
“And who said our dreams can’t shape our reality?”
Grayson shifted a fraction closer.
“Were you hiding this side of you from me, or have you always been this bloodthirsty?”
“Don’t blame me for your own poor observations.” I threw back, “I am who I’ve always been.” You’ve just never seen what I look like when I’m not trailing after you.
The longer we stood there, his face so close, his breath mingled with mine, the hotter the blood coursing through my veins grew.
For once, my magic had nothing to do with it.
“Sorry, Pierce,” a warm, teasing voice called from the end of the hall, “Do you need us to take another route and give you two a moment? I rather expected you had said everything you needed to say outside. Clearly, I was wrong. Or maybe it isn’t talking that’s on your mind.”
Grayson sighed and pushed away from the window, giving me a chance to see the man behind the voice. There were three of them, two men with a woman walking between them.
The man I presumed had called out to us was smiling with a jovial saunter as they made their approach. His amber eyes seemed to radiate contentment, while the lilt of his mouth promised nothing but mischief. As far as first impressions went, I’d wager he was the man you’d lounge with in the sun in between having a picnic and plotting a treasure heist. The other man was his opposite.
If it was death incarnate who approached me, the last thing I’d see before entering the afterlife was a pair of deep blue, nearly black, eyes that sent chills rippling down my spine.
I knew I wasn’t breathing—my inhale frozen somewhere in the back of my throat as I stood trapped in his expression. Deep in my mind, where thoughts were still capable of forming, I recognized that underneath the promises of cold violence that came off of him in waves, he was striking — maybe even more so because of his palpable lethality.
“Fabian,” Grayson greeted the first man, drawing my eyes away from the death god, “Allow me to introduce my pack mate, Briar.”
I inclined my head at the man. In truth, Grayson should have introduced me as his fellow Beta if he wasn’t going to do me the courtesy of acknowledging my right to the Luna title. I’d add it to the list of today’s transgressions.
“Yes, I heard.” I grimaced at how fast word traveled on this campus. Fabian’s grin was ever-widening. “Beta of the Othniel Pack and soon to face Kenna in a battle to the death, defending her place as Luna of the Iolite Pack. I must admit, I’m very much looking forward to the show.”
He gestured to the woman beside him whom I’d overlooked in my fascination with the cold man on her other side. Her eyes were kind, and her face was oddly akin to a cherub. “This is my sister, Eris. It’s her first year joining the Academy as well. I suspect you’ll share a few of the same classes.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Luna Briar.” Oh, I liked her already. “I wish you the best of luck in the challenge.”
I mustered my most confident smile and gave her a quick wink. “Thank you, but luck will have little to do with it. If you’ll excuse me, I should clean up and get some rest. It’s been an eventful day.” I turned in the direction Isaac had left earlier when a question from Fabian stopped me.
“What’s the blood from?” he asked. “It’s not often someone arrives bathed in red, and I can’t help but wonder.”
“It’s from a chimera who found me in the Sorrowood.” I smiled sweetly and looked at Grayson when I added, “Thank you for asking.” Someone else certainly hadn’t.
For a man who claimed he wanted to cut down anyone who’d cause me harm, he wasn’t very good at knowing who to add to his list. From the corner of my eye, I saw Eris conceal a giggle behind her hand.
“I’ll show you to your room,” Grayson said it as a fact rather than an offer, but I waved him off.
“My room is still occupied, I’m afraid.” He narrowed his eyes, and his face turned a new shade of red when I said, “I’ll be staying with Isaac until that’s rectified.”
I gave him no time to protest. I wouldn’t feign compliance by accepting lodging other than the Luna suite that was rightfully mine.
I pivoted on my heel and left, grinning when I heard Fabian mutter, “I think I just fell in love.” Followed by a thud and a grunt.