21. The Rose
Chapter 21
The Rose
“ H arold, are you planning to let her speak at some point so she can explain why she’s standing in your office covered in blood, or would you prefer to continue discussing your tea?”
My cheeks heated at Grayson’s intervention. It was frustrating enough to see the shock flit across his face at the Headmaster’s praise, but to have him step in on my behalf because he thought I was incapable of handling the situation myself? That was worse than listening to Harold drone on about tea and trolls—though the troll story was one of my best.
The Headmaster snapped his jaw shut and cast Grayson an unimpressed glance. “Well, Mr. Pierce I prefer to welcome a new student when they arrive before diving into whatever bloody matters may need to be discussed. I understand that politeness may not be your strong suit; however, it is mine.” He turned his attention back to me, an indulgent smile on his face as though we shared an understanding that Grayson didn’t. “Now Miss Lennox, what is it that brings you to my door? Another ogre in the woods perhaps? I assure you, they’re quite common around these parts. Nothing to worry about if you’ve already taken care of it.”
“There’s been an attack.”
He stopped smiling.
I let Eris begin by recounting her journey from walking through the woods to coming across a putrid stench and her altercation with the demons. Kenna and I picked up the story from there, ending with the haunting image of the demon taking his own life.
After my account of the events was complete, silence hung like lead in the air. I watched as the Headmaster tilted his head and thought, staring at nothing while he processed what we had revealed to him.
“I understand something like this would be a very difficult debacle to process,” he finally said, as he looked at me, “looking at you I have no doubt a battle occurred, but demons? They’ve been driven out for over a decade. Are you sure that’s what you saw? Is there any way you could be mistaken? Maybe you only thought they could be demons?”
He posed it as a question, but I saw it for what it was: disbelief. It was a lack of faith that three girls could identify a threat of this magnitude, even though he had praised my prowess as I entered the room only a few minutes prior.
“We are sure.” Kenna’s tone offered no room for debate, yet the Headmaster opened his mouth once again.
“Whether you believe us that the orange-eyed man who smelled of tar and brimstone, and could snap their necks on command are demons, or not, that doesn’t change the fact that this should warrant a full investigation from the council. Don’t you think, sir?”
I added the sir, as an afterthought. At that moment, I didn’t feel he was worthy of the title, but I showed his due respect all the same.
“We will send a team to investigate in the morning,” he said and walked back around his desk to take a seat in his leather chair.
“By morning we could lose evidence. The scene will be overrun by predators in the night.” I kept my voice level, but my heart was beating ever faster in my chest. How could he look at us, hear what we had encountered, and still do nothing?
“It’s not safe to leave the campus after nightfall.” He dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand. “A few of the guardians will accompany you after breakfast in the morning.”
To the credit of everyone who walked in with me, no one spoke as he stared at us, awaiting our confirmation. By rank and right, we had to do as he said. Confused as I may be about how he found himself on the council, he was still on it, and as such, his commands were paramount. Even when they were wrong.
He pursed his lips and clasped his hands atop his desk when our silence persisted.
“Those of you going tomorrow can meet here in the morning.” He looked at each of us in turn before landing his gaze on me. “Miss Lennox, I look forward to our tea. If that will be all for this evening, I strongly suggest you get some rest before the morning’s journey.”
The urge to further protest must have been apparent on my face because a hand dropped to my shoulder and steered me toward the door. I looked up, expecting to see Isaac or even Grayson, but it was stormy blue eyes that looked back at me. Asher gave the subtlest shake of his head and kept his arm around me until we walked through the door.
None of us spoke as we left the room and traveled down the hallway. We dipped into a small alcove and huddled together. Kenna propped herself up to sit on the ledge of the open-air window. The foxes stood alongside her. Grayson inched closer to me, and when I looked up his glower was fixed on Asher. It could’ve been a trick of the light, but I’d swear the Prince’s lips were slanted in the smallest of smiles.
I shouldn’t find Grayson’s jealousy delightful. We had more pressing matters at hand than a possessive Alpha, but I couldn’t help it. His reaction pleased me.
I elbowed him and stared at him knowingly. I enjoyed every moment of the slight red tint to his cheeks when he was caught. So many blushes these days. I took pity on him and leaned into his side. All was far from forgiven, but I wasn’t going to deprive myself of this brief moment. Who knew how many more we’d have?
Asher’s face was stoic when I looked up again. He, like me, must have remembered the reason we’d gathered: the Hidden realm was facing a threat, and we were currently the only ones taking it seriously.
Freaking Harold.
Fabian glanced at the Moon Fox Crown Prince before clearing his throat and pushing off from his spot on the wall. Keeping his voice low, he said, “We cannot sit idly by and trust the Academy staff to take care of this.”
“Agreed,” Grayson said, “We can’t defy a direct order, but we don’t have to stand around and do nothing either.”
He directed his next question to me, “What do you want to do?”
I pretended I wasn’t moved by his deference and addressed the group instead.
“We don’t know if the demons were alone or if others are out there lying in wait. The Academy guards may patrol the campus border, but we were deep into the woods when we came across them—much farther than the guards typically travel. I don’t think it’s wise for any of us to return to the scene without reinforcements, but I do think someone needs to monitor the border tonight.”
It didn’t feel like an attack was imminent. From Eris’ story, it didn’t sound like the demons were headed toward the campus nor had they expected to come across anyone else. Still, we couldn’t risk being caught unprepared if we were wrong.
“I agree,” Eris interjected, “I also find the Headmaster’s lack of action concerning. I don’t think we can rely on whatever forces he has on patrol to handle this with urgency. Do you think he’ll even raise this to the council?”
Isaac laughed humorlessly and said, “And risk his position? Not likely. He’d be displaced. If he can’t secure the Academy grounds, how could he be trusted to protect the Hidden realms?”
“Then we need to warn someone else of the threat,” Fabian added, “It’s too dangerous to go unreported, and if you’re sure they were demons?—”
“She’s sure.” Grayson’s voice brokered no argument, and I, once again, had to keep myself from turning to him in surprise. Where had this newfound faith come from, and why could he not have had it all along?
“Then more than just the Academy needs to know about it. They’re not an enemy to underestimate.”
The silence between us hung heavily in the air. Every realm had been affected by the demons regardless of whether they were aligned with the shifters against the elementals. There was no question of their malice and deceit. Their danger and destruction were widespread.
As much as I understood the council needed to know, the thought of telling them felt like a million bugs were crawling across my skin at the same time a troll sat atop my chest. I’d have to be even more diligent to keep my heritage a secret. They’d surely be on the lookout for any signs of someone like me now that my mere existence had switched from seemingly impossible to possible in a single afternoon.
I briefly considered lying—saying I was unsure or could have misinterpreted the signs. Maybe they were shapeshifters playing the part or malicious fae trying to cause unrest. It wasn’t as if anyone had seen a demon in the past decade, so how could I be expected to properly identify one?
But no. Even I couldn’t be that selfish.
I knew in my heart that what I reported was true. I would not be responsible for more blood than already stained my forever-crimson hands.
“Gray.” His eyes softened as he looked down at me. “We need to write to your parents and warn them. If there are more demons out there, and I think we have to work on the assumption there are, it’s almost inevitable the shifters become a target. We led the slaughter against them. It wouldn’t surprise me if they’d want revenge.”
“Of course,” he agreed, “I’ll send word tonight.”
“Asher, will you write to your family? Between the moon foxes and shifters, I think we’d have enough support for the council to take this seriously even if the Headmaster does try to cover up what’s occurred.”
He nodded. I briefly wondered if he ever spoke. Maybe he couldn’t. He certainly hadn’t in my presence, but maybe he didn’t deem us worthy of hearing his voice. Or maybe his voice was high-pitched and scratchy. That would ruin the ice-king intimidation thing he had going for him.
“That’s likely all we can do for now.” Grayson ran a hand through his hair and pulled at its roots before letting the appendage fall to his side. “For everyone going tomorrow, I’ll see you at dawn.”
Murmurs of agreement came from everyone except Kenna who was staring off into the distance. She hadn’t spoken a word since we arrived in the alcove.
“Kenna,” I asked, “Do you agree?”
Her head turned sharply at her name. “Sorry, what?”
“We’ll meet at dawn? I assume you’re coming too.”
Her answering grin was as brittle as her words. “Yes, of course. Dawn. I’ll be there.”
Who did they take from her, I wondered.
Kenna’s mask was a good one, but I recognized the ghosts haunting her eyes. They were the same that lived in mine.
“We’ll see you all then,” I said to the group, “I recommend sleeping with your weapons tonight just in case.”
Kenna sounded more like herself when she looked at me incredulously and asked, “Do you usually not?” She shook her head and hopped down from her perch, “And people say I’m the odd one.”
Isaac dove onto the bed beside me and rested his head atop his upturned hands. “So you had a fun day, huh?”
We shouldn’t joke about the day’s events, but the alternative was for me to cry or start breaking things, and I’d only just proven to Isaac I was a great roommate.
I’d stick to humor for now.
“Yes,” I said, turning onto my side, and propping my head up by my elbow, “Absolutely loads of fun. I just love threats of imminent death, discovery, and bloodshed, don’t you?”
He nodded his head cheekily.
“Especially when they’re followed up with a blindsiding betrayal from your first love.” He raised an eyebrow at me, and I ground my teeth.
“Please never call him that again. He should be the least of my concerns.” And yet, my mind kept replaying the moment I walked into the quad, and saw his uncaring face. The moment he heard students taunting me in the halls and did nothing. The moment he apologized at the infirmary. Moment after moment, choice after choice, Grayson kept disappointing me. I shouldn’t have been surprised he’d do it again.
“Should is the keyword of that phrase, but if you’d like us to pretend he doesn’t matter for the time being, I can play along.” The sign of a true friend was playing pretend upon request.
“Thank you.” I took a deep breath and flopped onto my back. “Now ask the questions I know have been plaguing you since we got back.” His face grew somber.
“What haven’t you told me about the demons?” he asked. “I could tell you were holding back with the others. But don’t hold back with me. Something spooked you more than just running into them.”
“Of course, it spooked me. Need I remind you I’m only half a bloodline from being one of them? If they’re back, then it feels like I’m more at risk. No one’s looking for an elemental right now. Any signs they notice are dismissed or ignored because the sheer possibility of my existence is a non-factor. Once demons are top of mind again, my differences and quirks may not go unnoticed.”
Everything I said was the truth. I was safer when no one thought my existence was possible, but the possibility brought scrutiny, and even if I was careful, I could still be caught. I was concerned about the risks, but that wasn’t what plagued my mind, and Isaac’s expectant face told me he knew it. If I remained silent he would wait for me to speak. He always did, the stubborn cat.
“I think one of them knew me,” I admitted. His grin dropped and he pushed himself up until he was sitting. I did the same, leaning my back against the cool wood of the headboard behind me.
“Tell me.” There was no teasing lilt left in his tone. His eyes were fixated on mine, compelling me to tell him everything I’d been withholding. So I did.
I told him about the demon’s pet name for me and how he knew I was holding back my magic. I told him about his threat that they would find me before he snapped his own neck. He didn’t interrupt me with questions or theories, he simply listened intently the entire way through. Towards the end, he laced his fingers through mine, and when it was over, he held both of my hands between his own.
“That would have been as jarring as fighting the demons for me had I been in your place.” His thumb ran over the back of my hand. “Did it trigger anything in your memories? Did you recognize him at all?”
“No,” I said and looked to the ceiling, the crown of my head thunking against the wall. “It didn’t trigger anything. I still don’t remember anything before wandering in the woods.” Well, before I woke up in a town of ash, but that was the one secret I never shared with him.
“I don’t like it.”
“Neither do I.”
“We have to be even more careful,” he said imploringly, “if we are discovered they’ll kill first, and maybe ask a few questions later.”
“There is no we in that scenario.” I looked him dead in the eye and pulled his hands toward me onto my lap. “If I am discovered, you will go along with whatever the pack chooses to do.”
He was already shaking his head in denial before I finished speaking. Goddess, he was as stubborn as his father. What was it about the Caddell men that wouldn’t let me die alone?
“You know I could never do that.” He squeezed my hands in his. “I’d stay with you until the end, no matter what that end may be.” And what a waste of life that would be. He deserved better than being sentenced to a traitor’s death on my behalf.
“I’m asking you not to.” I paused. “You didn’t ask for the secret, Isaac. It was forced on you. I know that you would die for me — I would die for you too — but I’m asking you to live for me instead.” Living was harder in many ways. It meant working through grief, tragedy, and disappointment, but it also meant experiencing beauty, joy, and love.
“There are many things I don’t know about the world,” I said, “but I do know it is a brighter place with you in it, and I refuse to be responsible for making it darker.”
He didn’t agree with me, or make any promises. Instead, he simply said, “Don’t get caught, and we will never have to worry about it.”
“That’s the plan.” I hoped it was a plan we could keep.
“Are we going to talk about Grayson now?”
“Absolutely not.” I wouldn’t even know what to say. There was nothing to say.
“You two seem to be getting along better lately.” He flipped on his back and smiled at the ceiling. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed him trailing after you or how close you were standing in the hall earlier. Not to mention the sour look on his face every time you leave with me.”
I did snicker at that. I thought I may have been overthinking Grayson’s expression when I went to Isaac’s room at night, or maybe I was looking for something that wasn’t there.
“He’s just possessive.” I wave a hand dismissively in the air. “He doesn’t want me but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either. The second it suits him he’ll be back to undermining me in favor of his own agenda.”
Isaac rolled to his side to face me.
“There’s no way you really believe that.” He poked me in the side and I jerked at the contact. Curse my ticklish body. “It’s more than possession and you know it.”
“I don’t know anything of the sort.” I couldn’t. “Even if there was something there, what would be the point? It could never go anywhere.”
“Bri.” He pushed himself up. “You don’t have to spend the rest of your life alone; there’s nothing wrong with leaning on someone else.”
“There is when doing so puts their life at risk.” I tried not to sound as sad as I felt, but I must have failed because something akin to heartbreak fell across Isaac’s face. He reached for me, and I let him pull me into his arms until we were lying back down with my head cradled in the nook of his neck. I took comfort in the familiar scent of scorched sugar and rum.
“Some people are worth the risk,” he said, his lips grazing the top of my head, “Some people would gladly take the risk. I’m not saying you should tell everyone what you really are. I’m not even saying you should tell Grayson what you are. I just want you to be open to the fact that someday, there may be someone you want to build a life with, and when you find that person, they won’t care what you are. They’ll be too in love with who you are for it to matter.”
I made a noncommittal sound and nestled further into his arms, draping one of mine over his torso. We said our goodnights and soon after his breathing deepened and slowed. He’d fallen asleep.
I wish I could say I nodded off soon after but flashes of orange eyes and ash-covered ruins cycled through my mind. Maybe someone could love me despite what I am, but I knew with unbridled certainty they could never forgive what I’d done.
How could they? I couldn’t even forgive myself.