5. Adriana #2
"You don't know. You don't understand." My voice is rising again, panic clawing its way up my throat.
"You don't understand what he'll do. When he realizes we're gone, when he figures out what happened—he'll come after us.
He'll hunt us down. And when he finds us—" I can't finish the sentence because the images are flooding my mind, vivid and terrible: Gio's face twisted with rage, his hands around my throat, Matteo being dragged away screaming, being forced to watch while Gio makes an example of me, while he shows everyone what happens to people who try to leave.
While he forces my son to kill someone… to kill me, even.
He'll break us both, find the most horrible ways to punish and torment us, and I can't… I can't let that happen, I can't…
"He won't get to you or Matteo." Lachlan takes a step closer, his eyes locked on mine. "I promise you, Adriana. He won't—"
"You can't promise that!" I shout, forgetting to keep my calm so that Matteo doesn't hear us. "You can't promise anything! You don't know him, you don't know what he's capable of—"
"Mama, stop!" Matteo's voice comes from behind me, high and frightened. His small hands grab at my arm. "Stop yelling!"
"I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry—" I reach for him, but he backs away, his eyes wide and wet with tears. I can see the fear in them and the confusion, and it breaks something inside me. I'm supposed to protect him, and instead I'm falling apart right in front of him.
"You're scaring him." Lachlan's voice cuts through my panic, sharp and commanding. "Adriana, you need to calm down—"
"Don't tell me to calm down!" I whirl on him, my vision blurring with tears. "Don't you dare tell me to calm down or how to handle my son, when you're the one who did this, who took us, who—"
Matteo moves so fast I don't have time to react. One second he's standing there crying, and the next he's launching himself at Lachlan. His small fists are swinging, his voice high and furious as he screams. "Leave my mama alone! Don't hurt her!"
"Matteo, no—" I lunge forward, but Lachlan is faster, catching Matteo's wrists before his fists can connect. He holds him at arm's length while Matteo kicks and struggles and screams.
"I'm not hurting her," Lachlan says, his voice calm despite Matteo's thrashing. "I would never hurt her."
"Let him go!" I claw at Lachlan's arms, trying to pull Matteo away, and my heart is pounding so hard I think it might burst out of my chest. "Let him go right now!"
"Adriana—"
"I said let him go!" My voice breaks, and I can feel myself spiraling, the edges of my control fraying and snapping. I know I'm losing it, but I can't stop. I can't pull myself back from the edge. "Please, please just let him go—"
Lachlan's eyes meet mine, and something in his expression softens. He releases Matteo's wrists.
Matteo immediately throws himself at me, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my stomach. I hold him tight, my hands shaking as I stroke his hair and murmur soothing words in Italian.
"Cormac." Lachlan's voice is quiet, and I look up to see him gesturing to one of the men who came with us. "Take the boy to the back cabin. Make sure he's comfortable."
"No." The word comes out as a gasp, and I tighten my grip on Matteo. "No, you're not taking him away from me—"
"Adriana, he doesn't need to see this—"
"See what?" My voice is rising again, hysteria creeping back in.
"See you like this." Lachlan's voice is gentle now, almost tender, and it makes my chest ache. "He's terrified, Adriana. He needs to be somewhere calm while we figure this out."
"He needs to be with me." I back away, pulling Matteo with me. "He needs his mother."
"And he'll have you." Lachlan nods to Cormac, who moves forward slowly, carefully, like he's approaching a wild animal. "In a few minutes. Once you've calmed down."
"I am calm!" But I know I'm not calm at all. I'm shaking so hard my teeth are chattering, and my vision is starting to blur at the edges. I can feel my breath coming in short, sharp gasps that aren't bringing in enough oxygen, and there's a roaring in my ears.
"Mama?" Matteo's voice is small, muffled against my stomach. "Mama, I can't breathe."
I look down and realize I'm holding him too tight. I loosen my grip, but I can't let go. If I do they'll take him away, they'll take my baby away, and I'll be alone, and I can't be alone, I can't—
"Adriana." Lachlan is closer now, close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off his body. His hand comes up to cup my face, his thumb brushing across my cheekbone. "Look at me."
I do. I can't help it. His eyes are so blue, so familiar, and for a second I'm back in the garden, back in that moment before everything fell apart. I want to lean into his touch, let him hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.
But nothing is okay. Nothing will ever be okay again.
"You need to let him go," Lachlan says softly. "Just for a little while. Just until you can breathe again."
"I can breathe." But I can't. My chest is tight, and each breath feels like I'm trying to inhale through a straw. The roaring in my ears is getting louder, drowning out everything else.
"Adriana—"
"Don't." I shake my head, trying to pull away from his touch, but there's nowhere to go. "Don't touch me. Don't—"
Matteo is crying again, his small body shaking against mine. I can hear him saying something, but I can't make out the words over the roaring in my ears, the sound of my own heartbeat pounding in my skull.
"Cormac, take him." Lachlan's voice is commanding, and I feel hands on Matteo as he's pulled away from me. I try to hold on, but my grip is weakening, my strength failing.
"No!" The word comes out as a scream, raw and desperate. "No, please, don't take him, please—"
But Matteo is already being carried toward the back of the plane. I can hear him calling for me, his voice high and frightened, and I try to go after him, but Lachlan's hands are on my shoulders, holding me back.
"Let me go!" I claw at his arms, trying to break free. "Let me go, I need to—I need to get to him—"
"He's safe." Lachlan's voice is calm and steady, even as I'm falling apart in his arms. "He's safe, Adriana. I promise."
"You can't promise that!" I'm sobbing now, tears streaming down my face in hot tracks. "You can't promise anything! Gio is going to find us, he's going to kill us, he's going to take Matteo and turn him into—into—"
My legs give out.
I don't feel myself falling—I don't pinpoint the exact moment my body decides it's had enough, but suddenly I'm on the floor and Lachlan is kneeling beside me. His arms are around me, and I'm shaking so hard I think I might break apart.
"I can't—" The words come out fractured. "I can't do this. I can't—"
"Shh." His hand is in my hair, stroking gently, and his voice is soft in my ear. "It's okay. You're okay."
But I'm not okay. I'm so far from okay I can't even see it from here.
"Rian." Lachlan's voice is quiet, directed at someone I can't see. "I need you to get the medical kit—"
"No." I try to pull away, but I don't have the strength. "No, don't—"
"It's just something to help you calm down." Lachlan's arms tighten around me, holding me steady. "Just for a little while. Just until—"
"I don't want—" But I can't finish the sentence. There's a sharp pinch in my arm, a brief sting, and then warmth spreads through my veins, heavy and thick and pulling me down.
"No," I whisper, but the word comes out slurred. "Please, I need to—Matteo—"
"He's safe." Lachlan's voice is fading, growing softer, and I can feel his arms around me as he picks me up. "I've got you. I've got both of you."
The last thing I see before the darkness takes me is his face, with those blue eyes looking down at me. I want to tell him that I'm sorry, that I'm scared, that I don't know how to do this, how to trust him, how to believe that anything good can come from this.
But the words won't come. And then there's nothing but darkness, pulling me down into sleep.