Chapter 3
Ican still feel the burn of Ethan’s touch across my skin from when he brushed my hair from off of my face. The way his gun metal eyes scorched into my soul, his threats against our dad are still ever present in my mind.
I’m the favourite between the two of us and I hate it.
Me and Ethan are equals, and we should be treated as such.
My heart breaks a little more each time my brother is shunned down, reducing him to a hollow shell, except when he’s around me.
That’s when he really comes alive, his true colours shining through.
Ethan is my big brother. Bonded by blood, yet I can’t stop these sinister feelings that burst to life inside of me when I think of him.
If anyone found out about my feelings, no doubt I’d be shunned for the rest of my life but somewhere deep down, I can’t seem to find an ounce of care. I’m just too ashamed to admit it.
The loud rumble of Ethan’s bike knocks me out of my daze as I stand at the edge of the curb to wait for my best friend to pick me up for college.
I should have been there at least an hour earlier but I was distracted by my brother.
I try to keep my eyes glued to my converse but that magnetic pull that fizzles every time we’re near each other is too strong for me to deny.
Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I tilt my head to the side to watch him reverse the black bike out from the side of the house, the engine rumbling low in the quiet street.
Ethan is covered in all black clothing– his jeans cling to his muscular thighs like a second skin and I can feel my heart rattling around in my chest, threatening to burst out of my rib cage and splat on the floor.
His face is completely covered in a black helmet and I can just imagine him running his inked hands through his onyx hair before slipping the helmet on.
Ethan must notice me when he slowly turns his head to the side and I swear my skin prickles with awareness. He lifts his gloved hand and flicks the black visor up, revealing his dark grey eyes that hide so many secrets.
“Need a lift, sis?”
I fumble with my phone in my hands and shake my head. “I’m alright, Chloe will be here soon.”
The mention of Chloe’s name has my brother fisting his hands on the bike's tank. Ethan isn’t the biggest fan of my best friend, in fact I’m sure if he could bury her in our back garden and get away with it, he would.
The thought should frighten me because I know exactly what he’s capable of and yet, it makes me want him even more.
Even though I shouldn’t.
My best friend is the complete opposite of me.
I’m the shy type, and she has to be the loudest in the room.
Chloe has a different boyfriend every week whereas I’ve never been touched like that in my life and it’s not from the lack of trying, it’s the big scary guard dog I have who's currently burning holes into the side of my head.
Ethan catches my attention again and lifts his hand from the tank, then curls his index finger into a come hither motion, gesturing for me to walk towards him. That pull between us is even stronger now and I fear he’s got me like a fish on a hook.
“Don’t keep me waiting. Come here, Alina.” Even though his mouth is muffled, his tone is still ever demanding and I willingly walk towards him like an obedient dog. The loose stones on the pavement crunch underneath my shoes with every step I take until I’m toe to toe with his boots.
“What do you want? I told you Chloe will be here soon and I’m already late enough as it is.
” I quip, and plant my hand on my hip. I watch his gaze travel from my face and down to where my hand rests on my hip before making his way back up again to meet my eyes.
The tension between us is suffocating and I don’t even notice the moment he loops a finger through the belthole of my jeans and yanks me towards him, my mouth inches away from the helmet.
“Gimme that attitude again and I’ll be forced to put that mouth to good use.” His threat practically stabs me in the stomach and my eyes widen in shock.
“Ethan! What the fuck?” I try to pull away but I’m yanked even closer now, our chests heaving together.
“C’mon now little sister, don’t act all surprised.
You’ve got a dark secret inside of you and I’m more than willing to drag it out.
” He cocks a sharp brow and I swat him away to put some much needed distance between us.
I wonder if he can see the lies written across my face. The heat that’s rising in my cheeks at his delicious threat.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I spit then turn to walk away when I’m stopped in my tracks again, his hand wrapped firmly around my wrist. The heat of his skin burns through the leather gloves and straight into my bloodstream.
Dropping my head, I look over my shoulder to where he’s keeping me hostage, refusing to meet his hard stare in fear that he’ll see right through me.
“You’re so pretty when you lie, Alina,” he taunts, his voice like silk. “But it won’t be long before you give into the thing we both want the most. I can practically feel it pumping through your veins. That need is begging to be released, isn’t it?”
His words wash over me like a fucking tidal wave and I yank my wrist free before striding back over to the curb, wishing with everything I have inside of me that he was lying; but then I would be the liar, wouldn’t I?
I’m ready to run back inside the house and hide in my bedroom for the rest of the day when I hear Chloe’s car drive down the street before pulling up in front of me, loud drum and bass music blasting through the speakers.
I give Ethan one last look and he shoots me a wink before snapping his visor shut and high tailing it down the street. Finally I can breathe now that he isn’t in my orbit.
“Ali! Are we going or what?” Chloe shouts over the music through the open window and I quickly grab the handle of the car door and climb inside.
“Yeah, sorry. Let’s go.” I mumble, keeping my eyes on the street where Ethan drove off. Chloe presses a button on her steering wheel to lower the volume of the music, giving my ears a moment of quiet.
Thank god.
“What crawled up his ass and died?” She asks, tipping her head towards the empty street.
“Why would I know? Anyway, we should get going before Mrs. Adams gives us a grilling for already being late.” I say, trying to divert the conversation away from my brother who already fills up far too much of my mind.
Chloe gives me a weird look, like she can see that I’m hiding something but then she brushes it off and peels away from the curb towards our college. “Yeah, you’re right. Your brother’s a bit of a freak anyway.”
Freak.
Every one I know has labelled Ethan a freak.
An outsider. A foreign entity, yet they couldn’t be more wrong.
I’m just too much of a pussy to correct people.
Shame floods my throat like a toxic poison at not defending my brother’s character but I can’t allow others to see the bond we have. It’d be the death of both of us.
The drive to Holloway College only takes a couple of minutes, and the moment Chloe parks the car in her designated spot I quickly grab my bag and start to leave the car.
“Uh, hold up.” Her words cut me off mid-movement and I sit back down again. “What’s up? I need to get to my music class.” I check the time on my phone, seeing I’m almost two hours late. Shit.
Chloe shuffles in her seat to grab her bright pink lip gloss from out of the centre console, then pulls the mirror down above her to slather a thick layer on her plump lips. Once she’s happy with her application, she throws the plastic tube back and closes the mirror before turning to face me.
“Fuck your music class for a second. We have more important things to talk about, like this weekend's party at my place. You’re still coming right?”
Fuck. I’d hope she’d forgotten about inviting me. The last thing I want to be doing is being stuck in a house full of rowdy teenagers on Halloween night, that are no doubt filled to the brim with drugs and alcohol. It’s safe to say that it’s never really been my thing.
“Look, I’m not–”
Chloe holds her hand up to stop me. “I don’t want your bullshit excuses babe, you’re coming. Get a costume ready and be at mine for nine, yeah?” Her tone is playful but I can see the demand behind it and instead of fighting my corner and telling her no, I accept.
“Sure.” I smile. “I’ll be there.”
A bright smile spreads across her face and I grab my bag again to leave the car. “Oh, and don’t bring your brother. I wouldn’t want him to embarrass you.” She adds, and I simply smile then close the door behind me, feeling even more shameful than before.