Chapter 6 #2
“Let me go!” She screams in my face. So as brother and sister do. I scream back.
“You’re not leaving me, Alina! Why can’t you get that into your fucking skull? Or do I have to fuck it into you?”
Her stormy eyes widen in shock at my words but it’s nothing that she hasn’t heard before. I’ve been very fucking clear about how I feel yet she continues to fucking test me.
She plants her hands on my forearms and heat radiates through my jacket at the contact. “We can’t be doing this, Ethan! It’s wrong, it’s so fucking wrong!”
“You’re lying.” I state. “You’re lying to yourself, and to me. I can see it all over your face. Society is what’s wrong, not us.”
Tears spring to her eyes and leaves streaks in her makeup as they fall down her cheeks. I can see the war that’s raging inside of her. It’s loud and deafening and she doesn’t know how to handle it.
Lifting one hand from her waist, I glide it up over her ribs and towards her neck before stopping at her jaw to bring her face closer to mine.
A sweet scent of apple leaves her mouth and mixes with my breath.
“Please, Alina.” I beg in a hushed tone against her skin and she shudders against me.
“You know we make sense, so why are you fighting it? I could take us away from this place. We could go where no one knows we exist, just you and me.”
Anguish covers her face and she dips her head down in shame. “Ethan, please. You know we can’t do this. It’d be the end of us and I love you, I do.. but I can’t.” She whispers against my chest and my jaw begins to ache with how hard I’m grinding my back teeth.
What do I have to do to prove this to her?
“Just once..” I murmur, dipping my head to meet hers. “Just this once, let us have this and no one has to know. You can keep me a secret. Just don’t lie to me, please. I want your truths.”
My words must hit somewhere deep inside of her as she lifts her head to meet my gaze. I’m an open book right now, ready for her to read all the truths inside of me.
“I’m scared,” she admits in a hushed tone and I use my thumb to wipe her tears away.
“I’m scared of what I feel for you and I know it’s wrong, and.
. I’m sick for wanting this, for wanting you.
We can never be together.” Alina’s words twist the knife that’s already lodged in my chest and I’m struggling to hold back the anger that’s bubbling under the surface.
I take her face in my hands and roll my forehead against hers, desperate for her to want me back.
“Why don’t you love me?” I beg. Why doesn’t anyone love me? What did I do wrong?
Alina lifts her hands and places them over mine. “Ethan, I do–”
“No. You don’t. You’re lying and I told you not to lie to me!” I drop her face and step away like her touch alone has burned straight through me. I need space to breathe because I fear the closer she is to me, the more I’m going to suffocate. Being in her orbit is enough to kill me off.
Silence fills the room and with soft steps, Alina closes the gap between us.
“Ethan, listen to me.” Her words feel like soft rain on my heated skin and I allow her to place her hand on my face.
Her thumb brushes over my top lip and I can feel her smearing the paint away, revealing my toxic insides to her.
Unmasking the devil that stands before her.
“I love you. I love you more than you’ll ever know.
Sometimes my feelings for you are far stronger than I can handle and I don’t know what to do with them.
I’m scared of what people will think, and if that makes me a coward, then so be it.
But..” She pauses and I stand frozen, frightened of what her next words will be.
“I’m more scared of losing you. I’d die if you weren’t in my life.”
I can feel the tears brimming in my eyes, but before they can fall I shove them back and pull her closer to me with force.
The bond between us explodes to life and electricity like a livewire thrums through my veins at our close proximity.
Chest to chest our hearts beat as one and I know she can feel it too.
The way her breath hitches when I run the palm of my hand down her spine towards her perfect hips, and my other plunges into her icy hair.
I’m ready to throw everything away for her. To give up the life I know to have her, to keep her for myself.
“I know, somewhere deep down, that what we have between us is wrong, but for the love of God, Alina. I can’t find an ounce of fucking care inside of me to fight it.”
Right before my eyes, something switches inside of her, like she can finally understand what I’m saying.
Her hands slip from my face and she trails the ink on my neck with the pads of her fingers, gently.
. softly and I shudder at the contact. With agonizing slowness, she unzips the jacket I’m wearing and begins to push it off my shoulders and I allow it, inch by inch my arms are revealed then she continues her path over my skin.
Tracing the ink and veins that cover me.
“What do you want from me, little sister?” I murmur, keeping a firm gaze on her in fear that she’ll just disappear before my eyes. Once she’s removed my jacket, she slips her fingers underneath the t-shirt and my abdomen flexes at the whisper of her touch.
Alina’s gaze reaches mine and in that moment, everything stops. The world no longer spins, the chaos downstairs is silent and all that matters is her. “I want you to touch me, big brother. In all the wrong ways.”
There it is. The words I’ve been so fucking desperate to hear.
I plunge my hands into her hair and grip the roots tightly.
“Fuck it.” I murmur, then slam my lips onto hers.