68
I survey the dark, swiftly flowing river and study the canoes, each with a man sitting at the stern holding two paddles, little woven moses basket at his feet.
Of all the disgusting trials and contests this Game manifests, the Baby Challenge has to be the worst. Eleven infants, each with a tiny, coloured ribbon tied to their wrists, are going to be handed to my contestants.
Contestants who have barely demonstrated they know how to keep themselves alive, let alone a child.
‘And worse, if it could get any fucking worse, they have not only each other to fear tonight, but potentially a psychotic vampire with a silver sword sharp enough to shave with, and the fucking mafia. Christ, what a fuck-up this whole thing is.’
I remind myself that my guards are scouring the mountain forests surrounding us as we speak, and that I’ll be accompanying the contestants on this quest. Still, there’s something about tonight that sets my teeth on edge.
As my name’s called I turn to watch the babies being placed in the Moses baskets one by one by the women purporting to be their mothers.
‘There should be a law against this. If I can’t end the Games straight away I’ll at least work to have this contest permanently banned.
Perhaps that’s the way forward — rule changes little by little until the Games are no longer to the death.
After all, once upon a time they were called The Hunt, and we chased our wives down and married those we didn’t slaughter.
I’ll have to mention this to Eleanor when I catch up with her. ’
Thinking of Eleanor makes me think of Angie and the baby I’d thought was mine, and I scowl and turn to watch as the contestants arrive.
Stepping out of the bus they stand in line as the crew hands them all water bottles, baby bottles, and other paraphernalia they might need for the challenge.
It’s so fucking hot here, even at eight at night, that dehydration is a real possibility.
Drowning, too, apparently, because Silke is allowed a life vest as a nod to the fact she still has a leg in plaster.
Everyone else is given a pool noodle the same colour as the hot little catsuits they’re once again wearing.
I’m reminded of Seville and having to push my hand down Cat’s suit to retrieve handguns she’d wedged down her ample cleavage, and my body stirs at the memory.
‘Christ, what the fuck? Have I sublimated my desire for her blood by fantasising about her pussy? It started with that fucking kissing competition. It has to stop.’
Scowling, I study the other contestants.
Miranda has her arm just bandaged now, her sling no longer needed.
Silke’s leg is still a liability, but the others seem fit.
Sona, Thorun and Cat stand close together, as do Miranda and Claire, an odd pairing and one I hadn’t picked up on earlier.
Meanwhile the twins, Aditi, Cherry and Vasiliki all seem to be keeping their distance from one another.
As each of the contestants receives their gear and has a coloured ribbon tied to their arm, they head over to stand where they’re directed, facing me and the now approaching Starlen, who’d been sitting in his air-conditioned vehicle waiting for his cue.
Given that this challenge is one of the most-watched each season, he’s expected to bring on-the-spot updates and commentary to the television audience.
And since it’s not unheard of for a baby to appear on this show as an extra like this, and later when they’re adults as a contestant, as Evelyn had, Starlen, like his predecessors, will hype the television audience into a frenzy over the ‘Baby Challenge.’ If past seasons are a reliable indicator of this one, he’s sure to make the most of the fact that each and every one of these infants could, in fact, one day grow up to be a royal bride.
Which makes their safety even more imperative.
As he reaches his assigned spot he gives me a perfunctory nod, raises his chin, and winks at the director.
‘And…Action!’
“Welcome, beautiful contestants,” he gushes, “to this, our third-last challenge for the season — and arguably the most anticipated.”
The contestants sigh their greetings, and several, like Cherry, give him coquettish smiles and simper.
“I’m sure you all know the stakes,” he goes on, “but as a matter of protocol and tradition I’ll read out the rules and instructions for you, and for those watching at home in the Bachelor Universe.
“Tonight, there are no weapons involved. You’re fighting against time itself.
This challenge involves you collecting a range of clues, solving a puzzle, and returning as fast as you can all the while ensuring the safety of the baby assigned to you.
Each baby has a ribbon tied to their tiny, perfect, innocent little arms, the same colour as the one on your arm.
In addition, since this is a water challenge, the little catsuits covering their fragile little bodies match yours. ”
He pauses to widen his eyes dramatically and nod to the mothers nearby, several of whom are patting false tears with handkerchiefs and acting worried.
“I know, we all know,” he pauses dramatically, “that it’s a tense time, it’s a dangerous time, for you and your small charges and for their anxious mothers waiting behind.
But know this, you’re not alone. Everyone in the Bachelor Universe is rooting for you — and while you’re searching, Viscount Speardon may choose to accompany some of you.
Ostensibly, this task is to show who can work under pressure while distracted; valuable skills for the wife of a vampire as she runs his royal household and raises his children.
But there’s more to it than that. Above all else Viscount Speardon requires a strong maternal and protective instinct in his future wife. Isn’t that right, Viscount?”
The cameras focus on me as I nod and catch Thorun’s eye. She still doesn’t seem her usual bubbly self. Dancing with her at the ball I knew she was saddened by the French contestant’s death, but there seemed to be something more too, something deeper.
“Indeed,” I say quietly now, noting Thorun’s eyes upon mine, “I know few men, vampire or otherwise, who wouldn’t wish to have a strong, protective woman as the mother of their children.
Someone,” I turn and raise a sarcastic eyebrow at the human mothers nearby, “who would sacrifice themselves and do anything and everything necessary to protect their babies from harm.”
“Indeed, indeed,” Starlen nods as though I’ve said something profound. “And on that note, which woman do you wish to accompany tonight, Viscount, on the first leg of this auspicious event?”
I look back at all the girls, allowing my eyes to drift across each and every one of them as this show constantly dictates I do, but already knowing who I’ll join for the first part.
“I’d like to accompany Silke, given she’s hampered by her leg, on this first stretch,” I say quietly, noting Cat’s scowl. “Later I may accompany other contestants too, those I’m most keen to get to know more. Perhaps all. We’ll see how the time plays out.”
‘Did she think I’d pick her? She’s more than capable of looking after herself, and my guards have been instructed to watch her particularly. She doesn’t need my protection and I don’t want the conversation I know she’s determined to have.’
Silke smiles widely at my mention of her name, and Starlen lowers his voice to a serious pitch.
“Now contestants, you know there’s every chance someone will try to eliminate you tonight, weapons or no.
But you need to protect your small charge at all costs and solve the puzzle while doing your best to evade misfortune.
You’ve all read the assignment. It’s one that will require speed and concentration, physical stamina, and a knowledge of orienteering. ”
He smirks before going on.
In this challenge you’ll be rowed downriver to a hidden location.
When reaching this site you must exit your canoes and swim with your baby through a one-kilometre-long water cave, collecting pieces of a puzzle as you go.
When you exit the cave system you’ll find a small island.
There you’ll solve the puzzle and swim back through another underwater cave system to where you’ll find your canoe and guide waiting.
Once you solve the puzzle and return your baby to this spot, you can return to the resort.
The quicker they’re returned to their mothers, the better.
I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that in the history of Vampire Bachelor Games only two babies have ever been lost.”
The women all nod and smile as he says this. All but Thorun, who shakes her head and looks down at her toes, and Cat, who’s not appearing to listen at all, but is surveying the dark mountains around us with a worried expression.
“Now, please come forward,” Starlen goes on, “and step into the canoe with the baby assigned to you. Just a reminder, although I know you don’t need it, that your baby is the final puzzle piece, so you must keep her with you every step of the way, right to the end.
If your baby is harmed in any way or lost, your life is forfeit.
The contestant last to arrive will be eliminated. ”
Nodding, the contestants make their way into their assigned canoes and I help Silke into hers before sitting down behind her as Starlen shouts:
“Let the Games Begin!”