83
I’m not moving until I get some answers.
We’ve been sitting here in the garden without the cameras for at least an hour, and I still can’t get a straight answer from Jag about why he won’t, at the very least, tell me how a vampire gives a woman immortality.
Perhaps if he did I might understand why he’s so against it, and persuade him otherwise.
“Jag. I can’t understand your decision because you won’t give me the information I need. How does a vampire give his bride immortality?”
“He bites her,” he says quietly.
“That’s it?”
“More or less.”
“Then what’s the problem? You’ve already bitten me twice.”
“I told you,” he rubs his eyes as though he can’t stand the conversation any longer, “it comes with strings. It can do terrible things. I’ve sworn I’d never do it. I won’t break my vow.”
“You also swore you wouldn’t suck women. Yet here we are,” I shrug.
“Yes.”
His tone is mournful when he replies, and I immediately feel bad for reminding him of something he finds shameful. Over the past couple of weeks I’d seen him gradually smile more, laugh even, but in between his sadness reigned, just as I’d sensed it had the first night I met him.
“I didn’t mean that,” I look down at my painted toes in their stilettoes. “I know you’re a man of honour. We all make mistakes. I’m just trying to understand your rationale. Vows can be broken for a good cause.”
“Dishonourable deeds with honourable intentions,” he murmurs, “yes, I know. I can’t give you what you want, Cat. I can’t give any woman that.”
“All I want is to live a long life in comfortable surroundings, freed from the fetters of family obligation. Most of all, I want to be safe.”
“The last,” he says, turning to look into my eyes, his own flicking down to my lips and back, “I can do. You’ll be safe with me, Cat.”
‘Does he think of that kiss too? Or is he thinking of my blood?’
“Safe but not immortal,” I reply, my eyes falling to his lips, so close to mine, yet so tantalisingly far away.
I wish I could stop recalling that kiss.
I wish I didn’t want more of his mouth on mine or his teeth in my neck.
But what I want most right now is something he could give after marriage, but just won’t commit to no matter how I’ve argued.
“Yes. Is that something you could accept, as my wife?”
It’s not, but he doesn’t need to know that right now.
“Yes.”
“Then we need to strike a bargain,” he says quietly, pulling away and leaning back in his seat next to me, crossing his legs.
When I turn to him, his expression is businesslike.
“A bargain?”
“Yes. You and I both know there’s a chance you’ll survive the next challenge, a strong chance since you’ve triumphed in almost every challenge so far. But the last one is the real test.”
I shrug. “I mean, outdoor survivalist is not my thing,” I grimace. “If I’m being real, of all the challenges that’s the one I feared the most coming into this, apart from the baby thing.”
“Yes,” he smiles, shaking his head at the remembrance of that challenge. “And yet, I know you’ll succeed in this one and make it to the last.”
“You know?”
“Don’t get me wrong,” he shrugs, “I haven’t managed to rig it or have any extra insight other than my usual gut feelings. I believe you’ll be standing at the end.”
“Well, I appreciate your vote of confidence,” I murmur, frowning, “but you and I both know I’m facing some very stiff competition. And like I said, it’s not this one I’m concerned about. It’s the next. I’ve never camped in my life, let alone survived alone in a wilderness setting…”
“Which is why my bargain should appeal.”
He leans to the side and pulls out a chocolate bar from his pocket, offering it to me.
“No thank you. I prefer jubes.”
“Really? What kind?”
I shrug.
‘Where is this weird conversation heading? Just get to the point.’
“Gummy babies, jelly beans, jelly snakes, any kind of soft jube.”
“Favourite colour?”
“Black.”
“Of course,” he laughs gently.
He places his chocolate back into his pocket and leans back, seemingly relaxed, yet I sense an undercurrent. I get the feeling he needs me to agree to whatever his proposition is, but doesn’t want me to know that.
I mimic his body language and lean back into the seat, angling my body so I’m facing him, my eyes upon his.
“I’m listening.”
“I want you to keep Thorun safe in the next challenge.”
My eyebrows shoot to my hairline as I meet his earnest gaze.
“And,” he goes on, “she’ll ensure you survive the last challenge.”
I shake my head as I try to visualise Thorun doing anything remotely violent.
“And just how do you imagine she’ll do that?”
“You protect her against threats from competitors; she’ll protect you from the elements.”
I roll my eyes as he leans forward earnestly.
“You’ve studied the game, Cat. You must know that more competitors die from exposure in the last challenge than from each other. Alaska wasn’t chosen at random.”
“Let me get this straight,” I frown. “You want me to ensure Thorun lives to be part of the final three?”
“Yes.”
“Because you plan to choose her at the end.”
“I didn’t say that.”
I shake my head in disbelief.
“Obviously you feel something for her if you want to strike a bargain on her behalf.
“I like her,” he nods, “and I like you, Cat.”
“Who else have you asked to look after her?”
“I haven’t asked anyone else. I wouldn’t strike a bargain with any other competitor.”
“You’ll forgive me for not believing you,” I snort.
“I’m many things, but a liar is not one of them. I’d hoped that by now you’d have some measure of my integrity.”
“And,” I snap, “I’d hoped you’d have some measure of my intelligence. This deal sounds like bullshit. I believe you have integrity, but if I agreed to this bargain I’d need assurances I wouldn’t be signing my death warrant.”
“You know I can’t give you any assurances,” he murmurs.
“Exactly! I didn’t come on this show to lose; I came to win.
To win you. Why the fuck would I save the life of another contestant at your behest when at the end she’s going to have to die by your hand for me to win — and that’s obviously not going to happen because you just asked me to save her life.
I’d have to be an absolute imbecile to take this deal. ”
“Cat, I’ve apologised for not trusting you in Vietnam. You have my complete trust now. But in this, you have to trust me. If you can survive to the final three you could still win. But I need to have Thorun there too.”
“No.”
“Please, Cat, do this thing for me.”
“I want more.”
“Pardon?”
I take a deep breath.
“If I do this, and I still somehow win. I want more.”
“More what?”
“You know.”
“No,” he shakes his head. “We’ve been over this. I’d be the world’s biggest fucking hypocrite. I’ll never do that to my wife.”
“Then I guess,” I rise and look down at him, “that if you won’t offer immortality, you don’t want to save Thorun after all.”
“Cat…”
“The ball’s in your court, Viscount. We leave in the morning for the next challenge.
I don’t need to tell you that this one involves guns and a whole lot of dead people.
You wouldn’t be asking for this deal if you thought Thorun could make it out alive by herself.
If I don’t hear from you I’ll play my way. ”
His expression darkens but I don’t back down, instead nodding perfunctorily at him, I rise, spin on my heel, and leave.
He doesn’t call out for me to stop, but he should have, because right now I’m furiously switching my game plan for tomorrow.
And the first person I’m going to kill is Thorun.