CHAPTER SEVEN
Iwoke cradled in warmth, something solid and steady beneath my head and a soft breeze ruffling my hair. With a contented sigh, I stirred, relishing the comfort of the fur blankets cocooning me. That was when I noticed the heartbeat drumming beneath my ear. One of Garrick’s hands was tangled in the loose strands of my hair, while his other rested at my waist, fingers digging gently into the fabric of my shirt.
My eyes flew open, heat flooding my cheeks. Even when I carefully lifted my head from his chest, Garrick was close, his expression peaceful in sleep, his breath tickling my face. His arm was wrapped around my body, holding me near. The heat that emanated from him was a gentle contrast to the frosty air.
Back home, my reputation would have been ruined by such proximity with a man. I would have been the subject of constant gossip and scorn, shunned even more than I had been before. Charles would have demanded a wedding, though that still wouldn’t have stopped my neighbors’ tongues.
It seemed silly to consider now, when I was in the wilderness. Even without worry for my reputation, I still felt shy. I didn’t want Garrick to wake when we were this close, to see me studying him. To know I’d been starting to experience new emotions—ones that a woman didn’t feel toward a mere friend and that had no right to be growing in my heart.
Sitting up, I stifled a groan as the coats covering us fell and the unforgiving cold ran its fingers over me. Whether from my movement, the chill, or my noise, Garrick’s eyes flew open, his face instantly alert. He sat up, catching me about the waist and scanning the cavern.
“Are you all right?” he demanded, his fingers rigid where he held me.
“Yes,” I said hastily, feeling like a fool.
Garrick’s eyes flicked over my face, taking in my discomfort. His eyes widened and he wrenched his hands away from me as if he’d been burned. He stood and seized his coat. I staggered to my feet as he began buttoning the fur and gathering the bow and quiver he’d shucked off before curling up beside me last night.
I busied myself with shoving my arms into my own coat and buttoning it. I couldn’t shake the embarrassment consuming me, and I couldn’t meet Garrick’s eyes, not without feeling my cheeks burn.
Why did I want Garrick’s attentions to mean more than they did? I was grateful for his kindness and companionship. I knew I couldn’t expect him to give up his life in Silverfrost to stay with me in Ashwood, which meant eventually, we would have to part ways. Was it only because I was lonely? Or was it him? His charm, his humor, his wit. His dimpled smiles and protective nature and good heart. The way he listened when I spoke, the way he saw who I was and wanted to know me.
I’d never experienced anything like it, and, as short as our time together had been, I didn’t want to lose whatever we were building. Thinking about saying goodbye made my heart feel hollow.
Garrick’s voice pierced my reverie. “Stay here while I scout outside. I won’t be long.”
A sobering thought struck me as memories of last night’s avalanche returned. “Do you think any soldiers survived?” I asked quietly. It was surreal to think I might be responsible for killing four fae.
Garrick shrugged. “Perhaps, or someone or something new could be nearby. Or there could be snow and shifting rocks.” He studied me, considering. “Your magic is dangerous right now when it’s difficult to control. But do you think if anyone threatens you, you could try to use the knife I’ve given you?”
It was unsettling enough that I might have taken lives unintentionally with my magic. Imagining using a blade to deliberately take a life was vastly more so. “I-I think so.”
“Good.” Garrick’s eyes were hard, his voice gruff. “If anyone tries to harm you, don’t hesitate to stop them.” He strode out the cavern mouth, leaving my mind whirling. I crept as close to the edge of the cave as I dared, glimpsing the morning light shimmering peacefully on the mountainside. Gilded trunks stretched toward a cloudless, pure blue sky. Snow draped the trees’ bare branches. The scent of pine was rich in the air, sweet and fresh, almost calming the whirlwind of emotions within me.
Almost.
I’d killed men. I’d wielded power my wildest imaginings could never have fathomed possessing. I’d survived more hunters seeking me, an avalanche, and the chill that had wracked my body afterward.
And somehow, along the way, I was finding myself captivated by a man who seemed to flirt as easily as he breathed—without meaning anything by it. Though Garrick had confessed to loneliness, though he’d shown me kindness and friendship, he’d never offered anything more. He’d shared that his loyalty and protective nature stemmed from his wolfish side.
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair, dislodging strands from the knot I’d pulled it into yesterday. Silver locks fell into my eyes. Perhaps I was fooling myself, hoping to survive this harsh world, forever evading the Silverfrost family’s reach. Perhaps I should try leaving Brytwilde behind and trying to venture back into the human world.
Though I had no money, no other living family apart from Charles, and not a single friend I could depend upon to care for me, I supposed I could find a way to make a living. In a town away from Altidvale, distant enough that no rumors of my magic had reached them, I could try to find a position as a seamstress. I could make a life for myself, secure and apart from public scrutiny. Everyone gossiped about a strange young lady out in society, expected to gain suitors, but no one would pay a lowly seamstress much mind. Especially if I forever tucked my hair beneath a bonnet and kept my head down.
Resolve hardening, I lifted my chin when I heard Garrick’s approach. His form filled the cave entrance, freezing as if he sensed my intent before I opened my mouth.
“It’s safe,” Garrick said, at the same moment that I announced: “I’m returning to the human world.”
For a moment, he merely stared, his gold gaze sweeping over me. “Is it your magic?” he asked at last, brow wrinkling.
“What?”
“Do you fear it? Now that you’ve seen what it can do?”
I shook my head. “No.” Then hesitated. “Perhaps. I...it’s not as if I’ve killed a man before. Let alone four.” My voice trembled.
Garrick closed the distance between us, his expression softening. “You had no choice. And think of it this way: you saved my life.”
“That’s just it,” I whispered. He was near enough now that I had to lift my head to meet his eyes. “You shouldn’t have to risk your life for me, not again.”
“Oh, Starlight,” Garrick said, the corner of his mouth twitching. “I’ve so rarely had the chance in my life to do anything noble. Don’t take this from me.”
“I’m serious!”
Amusement flashed in his eyes.
“I can’t bear to be responsible if something bad happens to you,” I said, “and it’s become clear I can’t run from the king and queen forever. My best chance of survival—and freedom—is to return to the human world.”
The laughter died from Garrick’s eyes, replaced with such gravity that it frightened me. “That’s not possible, even if you had a home to return to. At least, not until you leave Silverfrost behind. The barrier between this kingdom and yours will forever prevent you from leaving. The land itself will recognize your blood and the fact that you belong to the royal family. Once a mortal crosses that barrier and is offered to the Silverfrosts, the magic forever restricts your passage.”
“What?” Despair flared, cold and devastating. I recalled the barrier I’d struck the night Charles had offered me to the fae. I’d thought it only extended around Altidvale, not around the whole of Silverfrost.
Garrick grasped my hand, his touch tender. “We’ll flee to Ashwood as planned. From there, you can choose to stay or to take your chances in the mortal world. Whatever you desire. But your only option for now is to run.”
I blinked at the tears threatening my vision. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
A muscle twitched in his jaw. “I’d thought we already agreed that attempting to turn back to the human world was hopeless, so I never believed you’d consider it as an option.” His eyes scanned my face. “Are you sure this doesn’t have to do with your magic? Those soldiers threatened you first. They would have shown you no mercy, had they captured you. And as I said before, in stopping them, you also saved my life. What you did wasn’t wrong.”
My smile was frail. “It doesn’t feel right, either.”
As if realizing he was still grasping my hand, Garrick dropped it abruptly. Before, I’d been shy, and he’d learned to be considerate. But now, the distance between us frustrated me more than I wanted to admit. Don’t mistake all his kindness for deeper feelings, I admonished myself.
“It will never feel right, not for someone with a good heart like yours,” Garrick explained gently. He flashed me a self-deprecating grin. “But take it from a wolf: Killing for one’s own survival is part of the natural order of things.”
After Garrick cautioned me to beware of shifting rocks, I left the cave to take care of my needs. I returned, cursing the bitter cold, to find my companion digging through his pack for the few rations we had left.
“I have bad news,” he began as he offered me a piece of jerky and our canteen of water.
I stifled a groan as I sat on the floor across from him, biting into the dried meat. “Haven’t you already shared enough bad news for the day?”
“I wish.” He sighed. “As helpful as your avalanche was, it also forced us deeper into Silverfrost, further from Ashwood’s border and closer to the royal family.”
My stomach churned, and suddenly my hunger vanished. “How much closer?”
Garrick cleared his throat, not quite meeting my eyes. “Their castle is within a day’s hike from here.”
Fear scraped a ragged claw down my spine.
“And unfortunately, we can’t dig a path through all the snow you brought down, so our only path toward Ashwood will force us deeper into Silverfrost first. We’ll have to travel around the foot of the mountain until we can find a clear path to climb.”
I picked at the jerky with shaking fingers, still unable to take another bite. “Are you saying we have to continue toward the Silverfrost royals?”
Regret shone in Garrick’s eyes. “I’m afraid so. We’ll have to be especially cautious. I’m sure there will be more soldiers and bounty hunters eager to find you and procure the royal family’s favor.” He hesitated. “And I can’t be sure you killed all four of the others who were already after us.”
Swallowing, I scanned the dim cave, my eyes lingering on the thicker shadows near the back, making it unclear whether it continued deeper into the earth or ended in a stone wall. It was cold and harsh, without food or water to help us survive. And yet for that brief instant, it felt like a haven.
“It wouldn’t do to linger here,” Garrick added, as if reading my thoughts. “Though I haven’t met another wolf shifter in far too long, there are plenty of other ways to track us. Other shifters could scent us, or a more powerful fae than me could cast a spell that would help guide them straight to us.”
I frowned, unsure I wanted to understand the depths of magic such as that.
Lifting my chin, I searched his face. “Is there a way to continue onward and not walk straight into my enemies’ arms?”
Garrick’s lips twitched. I’d never been so direct with anyone back home save for Charles when he threatened to turn me out, but then again, other than with my sorry half-brother, I’d never had a reason to speak my mind so openly. With Garrick, it was easy. His mission was mine. Sitting back, he raked a hand through his white-blond hair, standing it on end as he mused. “We can do the best we can, but we will have to venture close to them. I know how to avoid being seen, and I know of another cabin not far from here, also enchanted by wards. But the closer we draw to the capital, the more soldiers and bounty hunters we are likely to encounter.”
I cringed, but I didn’t relent. “Are you sure you want to risk their wrath? This is your kingdom, after all.”
Garrick’s mouth was a grim line. “Don’t worry about me.”
As we emerged from the cave, Garrick offered a hand. His skin was pleasantly warm against mine, contrasting with the frigid morning air and sending a jolt of reassurance down my spine despite the knowledge that we were heading toward danger. “You needn’t be afraid or ashamed of your magic,” the fae hunter said, almost too casually.
I cast him a sidelong look. “Like you’re ashamed of using yours?” It was a guess, but considering he’d only let me see him in his wolf form once, under the direst of circumstances, and he sometimes called himself a dog, I was confident I was right.
Garrick flinched. “When you’re taught all your life that your power is meaningless, that your value is akin to nothing in the eyes of other fae, it isn’t easy to appreciate it.”
My brow furrowed, but Garrick nudged me gently, his grin seeming forced. “As flattering as it is to see you care about me, we have bigger troubles to worry about, Starlight,” he said. “Don’t fret. My feelings about my shifting abilities won’t stop me from using them if the need arises. You’re safe with me.”