CHAPTER NINETEEN
After I pulled on my coat and Aspen gathered her bag, I lifted her in my hand and looked at her frantically. “How?” I asked helplessly, and I could tell by the way she smiled softly at me that she knew what I was really asking, what I didn’t even have the words to voice aloud. I sat to pull on and lace my boots, my fingers feeling clumsy as I worked.
“I will see you later today,” Aspen whispered. “I’ll need to reapply the ointment to your wound, and we’ll discuss plans. In the meantime, continue as you have been. We’ll let them grow ever bolder in their belief that they own us. But they will never own us. Stay strong, Your Majesty. We will be free.”
When I opened the door, the impatient guard huffed as he extended a hand to accept the pixie. “Are you quite ready?”
There was no deference in his tone, no respect in his expression. It was clear that he wasn’t one who believed the throne was rightfully mine. Like Preston and Nerissa, he likely thought I was a lowly, disgusting human.
Straightening my spine, I nodded. I’d brought no belongings with me but the hunting knife that had been taken from me—and then used to carve the mark on my back. Wearing the clothes I’d arrived in, I trailed the guard out of the room and through countless windowless halls, where only the torchlight dancing off the stone provided any light. In this harsh space, time had no meaning, and it could have just as easily been midnight outside as daylight.
When we at last exited the fortress, the icy air was the first to greet me. Harsh daylight glinted off every flake of snow and bit of frost dusting the ramparts and crusting the courtyard cobblestones. My eyes watered from the sharp contrast after the dimness of the fortress.
“At last,” Queen Nerissa said from her mount, studying me with annoyance as if I’d spent hours rather than minutes leaving my room after the guard had knocked.
My eyes snagged on Garrick, seated on a horse behind her, but his expressionless mask told me he was in the siblings’ grip. I chewed on my inner cheek, fuming silently.
Nerissa waved toward where Preston stood beside his stallion, his blood-red eyes piercing my soul. “You’ll ride with me,” he declared. “Hurry.”
I swallowed down my disgust and forced my legs to move toward him, accepting his gloved hand as he practically shoved me onto the horse and then swung up behind me. The difference between sharing a horse with Garrick and sharing one with Preston was jolting—where before I’d relished the warmth emanating from the wolf shifter, had blushed at our proximity and the woodsy scent surrounding him, now I had to struggle not to gag. The air around Preston felt somehow even chillier than the icy breeze clawing through my hair as our company trotted out of the courtyard.
“Today, I will announce our engagement at a feast,” Preston murmured as we followed a path along the outskirts of Northelm. “You will be the picture of grace and obedience.”
I didn’t respond, my chest tightening at the firmness in his words. He didn’t need to add a threat.
“Garrick will be your guard.”
I wondered if Garrick would be under their control, or if his presence would be yet another test.
“You will dance, you will laugh, you will be pleasant. You will play the role of a besotted, soon-to-be consort and their heroine. And then you will prepare, for your real work begins on the winter solstice. Then, you will prove yourself one final time by using the power of your blood on the entrance to the underworld the night it is most fragile.”
“And send back the demons that have been imprisoned here?” I questioned, not turning around to meet his gaze.
“Yes.”
My mouth tasted sour as I thought of my impending engagement announcement, but I drew a calming breath, forcing my mind to think. There wasn’t much time left before winter began. My calculations—if I hadn’t lost track of time in this awful realm—told me there was only a week left until the solstice. Somehow, I was determined to free myself of Preston and Nerissa before then. That meant I had one week to formulate a plan with Aspen to save Garrick and myself. One week to end the siblings’ awful reign. One week to take back my life.
And, despite the restrictions the siblings had put on my magic by spelling my quarters and using forget-me-nots against me, my magic would also be at the height of its power once winter began in earnest. That could only work in my favor. I hoped.
Back at the castle, Preston himself escorted me to my rooms and left me with maids already waiting—both glamoured humans that made bile rise in my throat just to look at them. As soon as the king closed the door behind me, the two women set to work wordlessly, one drawing a steaming bath in the washroom while the other ushered me toward a side table where a tray laden with food and tea was already set out.
My heart climbed up my throat at the sight of the food as I remembered Aspen’s words. Despite my hunger—a quick glance out the window told me it was past noon by now—I knew what eating or drinking anything brought to me would cost. Unfortunately, I also knew that maintaining my strength was crucial. If I wasted away, my magic would be almost as useless as the forget-me-nots rendered it.
If Aspen wasn’t confident she could bring me a regular supply of uncontaminated food, I’d have to eat what I was given. I poured myself a cup of tea and picked at the fresh fruit on a platter.
What if I can grow accustomed to constant exposure to forget-me-nots? I wondered, sweet flavor bursting on my tongue as I bit into a strawberry. If the fae avoided the flower so religiously, did they know what would happen if I was continuously dosed with it? I’d heard tales of dedicated servants to our king back home building immunity to poisons, sometimes even assisting members of the royal family in the ability. If their mortal bodies could manage such a feat for survival, what more could mine accomplish, when I carried magic in my veins and was part fae? What if I found a way to increase my exposure to the forget-me-nots until I could learn to push past their influence and grasp stronger tendrils of my magic?
I drew a slow breath as the mortals shuffled about behind me, laying out cosmetics and other accessories for my hair. If I could regain my power, I would become someone the king and queen would fear. Someone who might be able to gather enough allegiance from the courtiers and Aspen’s rebels to assemble a resistance against them that would help me ascend my throne. Someone who might be able to end their bloody reign.
And then you’ll be queen, in a land full of immortals who think you’re lesser. In a strange, cruel world that you hardly understand. I forced down my fear. With Garrick and Aspen at my side, surely I could manage.
It was that, or abandon Silverfrost and the underworld entrance, condemning not only this land but also the entire world to eventually being overrun by demons and monsters.
That wasn’t a choice.
“Your bath is ready, my lady,” one of the women murmured.
I glanced over my shoulder to meet her glazed blue eyes. My stomach clenched at the sight, and suddenly, my appetite was gone. I set down my teacup and rose.
Despite its futility, I tried to engage her in conversation as I followed her across the room. “What is your name?”
The girl paused, blinking. “Excuse me? Is there something else you desire?”
“Your name.”
She stared at me emptily. “I am your humble maid. What else can I do for you?”
“But what are you called?”
She blinked again. “Servant.” She turned away toward the washroom.
A bang on the door to my quarters interrupted us, and I jumped. The two maids didn’t seem fazed. One waited at the entrance to the washroom while the other strode toward the door and opened it. Before she could speak, Garrick shoved past her, forcing his way in.
“Starlight,” he breathed, his chest heaving as if he’d run the whole way here. His gold eyes were full of pain, his face haunted in a way that stole my own breath.
“Garrick?” I crossed the floor to him, terrified the siblings had wreaked some new havoc.
“Leave us,” he growled to the two women, sending them scurrying without protest from my room. They only knew how to obey.
There was a wolfish way about Garrick as he stalked closer, shaking his head. “I need to see.” His voice trembled.
“Garrick...”
“Did Aspen tend to you?”
“I’m fine,” I said, but Garrick grasped my shoulders, ducking his head to peer into my eyes fervently.
“Let me see, Starlight,” he pled.
“They’ll smell you on my skin,” I insisted faintly, glancing at where his hands grasped my shoulders still, his thumb brushing against my collarbone.
He shook his head. “You’ll bathe and change. And I will too, before the feast. They’ll never know.” He cupped my face with a scarred hand, and I couldn’t help myself from leaning into his touch. My heart quivered. Before I could wonder if maybe this was the tender touch of someone who cared for me as more than a friend, more than his sovereign, Garrick spoke again. “Please.”
Biting my lip, I turned around, letting him use shaking hands to unbutton my tunic far enough for him to see the bandage Aspen had used to cover my wound. Garrick sucked in a sharp breath as he cautiously peeled it back. He cursed.
“I did this to you.”
I turned, clasping one hand to the front of my tunic to hold it up. When I met Garrick’s expression, the raw devastation in it cut me to the core.
He dropped to his knees, tears shimmering in his eyes. “Forgive me.” He shook his head again, as if he could wish away the marks marring my skin. He wrapped his arms about my waist and pulled me to him, burying his head against my stomach as he wept.
“There’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t do this,” I said firmly. I gathered my courage and ran my fingers through the white-blond locks of his hair. They were silky to the touch, and the act felt so intimate I couldn’t stop the blood from rushing to my cheeks. “Preston did it.” I injected venom into my words. “As surely as if he’d lifted the blade himself. But like a coward, he forced you to do it. It’s not your fault. It’s his crime. His mark. And he will pay.”
Garrick drew back enough to look up into my face. “He’s already forced us both to pay the price,” he said. “Every time I see you, I’ll know I failed you. You, my rightful queen. The starlight to my darkness.”
“Never,” I bit out, slowly kneeling until we were face-to-face. “When you look at me, I will wear this mark as a badge of honor. A sign of what we’ve both survived and will overcome. I promise you, Garrick.”
My words calmed him at last. He blinked, nodding as he searched my face, as if he could read my every thought and plan. Lifting a hand, he swept it through my hair, each brush achingly tender. “Aspen spoke to you?”
“Yes.”
A slow smile spread across his face, the first sign of hope I’d seen in him in far too long. “She’ll help us. We’ll make them both pay.”
He leaned forward until our foreheads touched, until we breathed the same air. My chest tightened at his proximity, at my sudden desire to confess to him how deep my feelings truly went. But he called me his queen. Did he only see in me what all his people saw—a savior? Or did he care about more than what I could be—did he care for who I was? Even if we defeated Preston and Nerissa, freeing him from their control, would he ever want me the way I wanted him?
Before either of us could speak another word, a soft knock echoed on my door. We jolted apart, terror coursing through my being. What if Preston or Nerissa found us out before we’d had a chance to hide the fact that we’d touched? What new horrors would they force us to inflict on one another?
“Your Majesty, time is short. We must prepare you now. Please allow us to enter.”
My breath left me in a relieved whoosh at the maid’s voice.
Solemnly, Garrick grasped my free hand and pressed his warm lips to my palm. I swallowed when my mouth ran dry. Just the touch of a man loyal to his queen? Or...?
“I’ll see you at the feast, Starlight,” he promised, and then rose, striding to the door and letting the maids back in.
The glamoured girls didn’t react to the way I knelt on the floor, my half-unbuttoned tunic hanging loosely from my frame. They didn’t notice the way Garrick and I stared at one another for one last, long moment, silently making promises of helping one another to freedom, somehow, before he ducked out of the room. They simply escorted me to the tub, waiting with their eerily blank expressions as I scrubbed myself clean, rinsing away Garrick’s scent from my body even as my skin continued to tingle from his every touch.