CHAPTER 28
C HAPTER 28
F our hours later, Rae was seated at the desk in her home office. The final remnants of a lovely spring sunset scattered rose-tinted clouds beyond her window. Down below, tourists laughed their way along the island avenue. She emailed the court reporter, who also served as Judge Dwyer’s personal assistant, and alerted her to an incoming video that would be required at the hearing. She went through the edited video a final time, tweaking a couple of places, shortening it down to seven minutes and eleven seconds. Judge Dwyer was notoriously impatient when it came to evidence and testimony.
Her phone rang.
The screen said it was John Anders.
She hesitated a long moment, mostly gauging her own response. What she mostly felt was a mild irritation over his wanting to insert himself into an overfull day.
When the call went to voice mail, Rae attached the recording to a brief email and sent it off.
John called again.
As she closed her laptop, Rae found herself thinking back to the scene she had witnessed outside the property. The way Amiya’s words and embrace had somehow reshaped Curtis and his world. At least for that one brief moment.
The phone went quiet. This time, John called straight back.
She answered and did her best to sound glad to hear from him. “Sorry, sorry, I was in the middle of something. How was today’s hike?”
“Fine. It was fine.” John’s voice was quiet. Somber. “Crowded with thoughts. Sometimes I think best when I’m pushing myself. You know how it is.”
Something about his tone, the directness, whatever, elevated Rae’s heart rate and stripped away any need for a cheery tone. “Yes, John. I know.”
“What you told me, it’s made me look at what I’ve done my best to avoid seeing.”
Rae opened her mouth, but no sound came. No apology, no desire to reassure and avoid what she knew was coming.
Nothing.
“You were right, what you said. And what you didn’t say. But this time, I heard it anyway. We’re just not meshing like we should.” He coughed. “You’re pushing hard as you can toward goals that . . .”
“They don’t mean anything to you,” she completed for him.
“No, they don’t.” Knowing she was there with him accelerated his words. As if he could hear her racing heart and tried to match its speed. “It’s more than that, Rae. Every now and then, I catch sight of where you’re headed.”
“John—”
“Let me finish. Please. Otherwise, I’ll never get this out.”
“Okay.”
“You know where you want to go. And that’s the big difference between us. For you, it’s out there ahead of you. But with me, it’s totally the opposite. You know what I mean?”
She wiped her face. “Yes.”
“I’m already there, Rae. Right where I want to be. Right here, right now, this is it. And the longer we’re together, the more you’re moving away. I don’t mean you’re running from me.”
“I know what you mean.”
“But you are running. And I’m running, too. Only, we’re not running the same race.”
“You’re a good, good man, John.”
“But I’m not the man for you and your race, am I?”
When she did not respond, he said, “Goodbye, Rae. Thanks for, you know, the run.”