Chapter 5
Behind me, Orion and Hendrik fell silent.
Too quiet, the kind of quiet that comes before a storm. I’d already dealt with enough of those today.
Pressing my fingertips to my temples, I breathed in slowly, trying to still the raging emotions twisting through me like a whirlwind with serrated knives, all despair, misery and confusion.
I had to get a handle on this.
Behind me, the tension between Orion and Hendrik had grown until it was thick enough to choke on. “We’re not doing this.” I decided as I spun on them.
Neither of them blinked.
“Did you hear me?” The words came out like a hard slap. This time, I got a reaction. Orion’s mouth tightened while Hendrik slanted a look at me, his expression hard.
“Orion, can you give me a few minutes with Lily?” he asked, his gaze stroking my face before moving to my wings and onward to my body.
Orion crossed his arms over his chest, massive biceps bulging. “After the shitfest I just saw? I don’t think so.”
I felt the blistering emotions in our bond. Hendrik was pissed. There was no doubt about that.
But, unlike Dante, he wasn’t pissed at me.
“I can take care of myself,” I said, turning to my demigod. “You know that, Orion.”
“Indeed,” Hendrik murmured.
Ignoring him, I held Orion’s gaze. When his expression remained stony, I went to him and traced his cheek with my fingers.
“Orion. It’s okay. I can take care of myself.
I’ve been doing it for a long time. And I’ve held my own against all of you before all of this.
” I smirked, because it was true. Before I’d bonded to my Virtues, they had tormented me.
And I certainly had gotten even. While I’d never been through anything like this, I was a Princess of Hell, a succubus’s daughter, and a freaking fallen angel. Even death hadn’t kept me down.
Orion pressed his lips to my brow, hands holding my arms as if he didn’t want to contemplate letting go.
“I won’t be far, Lily. If I even think you’re upset, I’ll be back and I’ll pound that sad excuse for a mage into the ground.” He glared at Hendrik for good measure. “He won’t even be a bloody smear when I’m done.” The look in Orion’s eyes shone with violence that could compete with Dante’s rage.
Hendrik laughed. “Is that a promise, Freckles?”
Orion glowed—and I didn’t think it was because he was pleased. Pressing my hands to his chest, I said, “Out, okay? I’ll be fine.” I swapped my gaze between them. “Plus, if I have to deal with one more pissing contest, I’ll scream.”
Thoughts of Dante’s furious, pained gaze flooded my mind and I looked back to the door. He was long gone, the rawness of our bond a pulsating ache inside me.
Orion huffed a sigh. “Fine.” He glowered at my Dark Mage. “But if she so much as sneezes, I’m coming back.”
“Thank you,” I said.
He nodded and looked past me, his expression changing as if that super-human hearing was at work again. “Yuri is rounding up the others. It shouldn’t take long. You and Lily need to be at the Council Meeting in half an hour.”
“We just need a few minutes to talk,” Hendrik said, an alluring mischief to his tone that suggested there were other reasons he wanted to get me alone.
Orion shook his head, then after a quick kiss on my lips, he left.
I still didn’t turn to face Hendrik. Everything in me felt scraped raw, like an exposed nerve, and I doubted anything Hendrik would have to say would make me feel better.
His footsteps sounded quietly on the floor as he circled me, coming to stand just a foot away, dark eyes rapt on my face. “You’ve never been afraid to meet my gaze, pet.”
“I’m not afraid of you, Hendrik. I’m just…” Sighing, I shook my head. If I wanted comfort—and, okay, I did, this so wasn’t the guy to talk to. He cared for me, yes, but he didn’t have a soul and I already knew that comfort wasn’t exactly his specialty. Ass kicking and good, hard sex? Sure.
But right now…
Was it bad for the Princess of Hell and the Champion of Calamity to just need a damn hug?
“So help me, Hendrik, if you’re going to flip on me like Dante, I’m going to knock you on your ass.”
“Is that so?” he asked dryly.
“Don’t,” I warned. “Just don’t.”
He inclined his head but said nothing.
Throwing up my hands, I demanded, “What, are you pissed off at me, too? I just died and came back. Could I get a little bit of time to cope with that?”
“Oh, I’m pissed.” Hendrik’s eyes glinted with the fury he held in check. “But that’s been my default for a while.” He paused, then softly said, “You do know it’s been a year for us, right?”
He ventured closer and the scent of him made me dizzy with fresh need. Hendrik always seemed to have that effect on me.
“A year,” he murmured, his lips close to my ear as he invaded my personal space.
“We didn’t know if you would come back. Kaito and Logan never stopped believing, of course, but they’re like puppies; they’re so damn hopeful.
I think Kaito had to believe, otherwise he’d go mad.
And that wouldn’t be a good thing, considering what he truly is.
So… we let him believe. But then, even Orion started losing hope.
A year, never knowing if you would return.
Never getting to touch you.” He brushed his nose against my check, breathing me in.
“Smell you.” His lips brushed over mine. “Taste you.”
Hunger and longing built inside of me, and just as I reached for him he slipped away.
“A year of that is enough to drive anybody insane, pet. And most of us weren’t too far from the line to begin with.”
I drew in a ragged breath, hating how I had to keep defending myself against my own mates. “It’s only been a few hours for me.” At least, it had only felt like a few hours. I couldn’t remember much.
I was trying to understand where my guys were coming from, but what about me? When did I get to cope with all of this?
A few hours and I come back to find everything so different.
“Dante hates me,” I whispered.
“He doesn’t hate you,” Hendrik said flatly. When I stared at him, he shrugged. “Well, okay he hates everyone right now, but he doesn’t mean it.”
“You weren’t the one he tried to kill just now, were you?” I started to turn away but Hendrik moved with me. “It sure as hell wasn’t my plan to die and disappear for a year, but I’m supposed to be punished for coming back? What the actual fuck, Hendrik?”
My Dark Mage said nothing.
And even though I knew he wasn’t the sort of person to offer comfort, I kept going.
“I know Cole is playing mind games and using Dante’s anger against me—I’m not an idiot.
” A knot the size of my fist seemed to have taken up residence in my throat but I kept talking.
So what if it sounded like I was ready to cry?
I had to get this out. “Cole can’t fuck around unless the anger is already there,” I pointed out, that little truth twisting a knife in my heart.
“So Dante was already angry with me to begin with. And it sucks because I didn’t ask for any of this. ”
Spinning on my heel, I stormed over to the window and glared outside. If the heat of my wrath and the depth of my pain could be weaponized, then I’d win this war against Calamity right then and there.
“I know none of this happened because you wanted it, Lily.”
I peered at him through the filter of my dark feathers. The large appendages wouldn’t fully obey me and I awkwardly lowered them.
“Are those things for show?” he asked, his characteristic comment breaking the tension.
“You’d think they’d serve a purpose other than getting in my way,” I retorted, making Hendrik smirk.
Sighing, I leaned against the windowsill. “Tell me, Hendrik. Is this what you wanted like Dante claims? Do you get off on all this misery?” While I could practically smell the power on him, I hoped that Hendrik didn’t want to gain his magic like this.
He joined me at the window, peering out over the dark campus. “I doubt you’d believe me, but I don’t like seeing you unhappy. And I’m glad that you’re here. I…” He hesitated before continuing, “I did miss you.”
“Wow. My heart is leaping at that declaration.” The hollowness inside me spread and I crossed my arms over my chest, squeezing, as if the act would ward off further pain.
“Dark Mages don’t mourn a life lost the way others do, Lily.” He explained as his gaze narrowed. “Death is the end. We’ve already lost our soul so there’s nothing left to move on to another plane of existence or…” He shrugged. “What have you.”
“So… I died and you were like… Oh, well. That was fun while it lasted? What the fuck, Hendrik?” Feeling even colder and more broken than before, I shoved past him. Or tried. The heavy wings made it hard for me to move as swiftly as I had before and he caught my hand, squeezing.
“That’s not what I said.”
“I don’t know what you meant,” I ground out. “Why don’t you explain it to me again?”
“Lily…” He blew out a slow breath.
His temper sparked in the depths of his eyes—I was almost happy to see it. It was a reaction, if nothing else.
As if he’d read my mind, he blinked lazily and when he looked at me again, the flash of anger was banked.
I hated how easily he could control his reactions. Glowering, I sighed. “Are we done here? We’ve got a meeting.”
“The meeting can get fucked,” he said coolly.
“If you want to talk, then talk,” I growled. “But if you’re just playing more of your games, stop it. I’m not in the mood for them. And for the record? Now would be a damn good time to act like you actually want to be one of my Virtues.”
Holding his gaze, I reached for that connection between us, fragile after a year of distance but still there. I drew on the bond and watched his eyes widen a fraction.
“Now who is playing games?” he asked. “Are you trying to own me, pet?” Without waiting for an answer, he caught my hips, hauling me against him. “Cole has tried do that very same thing, you know—own me.”
Damn him. Wedging my hands against his chest, I forced some distance between us. “That’s funny, coming from you,” I said. “You made me jump to do your bidding for weeks when we first got to know each other. For the record, I’m not like you—or Cole.”
Something about that amused him and he smiled. “If you truly believe that, then even a total death experience wasn’t enough to change you… Lilith.”
“Don’t call me that.” It infuriated me. I didn’t know why, but it did. My claws tore free and I tasted blood in my mouth, followed by a faint pain that faded almost immediately. Reaching up, I touched my lips and felt the slight bulge. Fangs…
“There you are,” Hendrik said, his gaze going hooded.
Jerking my gaze up, I looked at Hendrik. He didn’t look surprised, not by the claws or the fangs.
“This is who you truly are, Lily. This is the part of you that called out to Cole, isn’t it?”
Closing my eyes, I drew in deep breaths but the anger in me didn’t fade. “Why are you tormenting me?”
He had to want something—as much as Hendrik enjoyed his little head games, I’d come to realize he usually had a method to his madness.
Instead of answering, he eased away and started to move, circling me. I didn’t like the predatory gleam in his eyes, but I didn’t think he was out to hurt me.
“This new form of yours, Lily… You take my breath away.”
He touched me then, one fingertip sliding along my shoulder, up to the curve of my neck to my jawline then my mouth. “May I?”
Wary, I eyed him.
“I’m not going to harm you,” he said quietly.
I don’t know why I believed him, or exactly when I’d started to trust him, but I found my lips moving in reply with agreement.
He took that as consent and pressed the tip of his finger on my lower lip until I opened my mouth. He pricked his finger on one of my newly emerged fangs and I tasted blood instantly. “Hendrik—”
“Shhh…” He nudged on my chin, indicating he wanted me to close my mouth—with his finger still inside.
The taste of his blood wasn’t unpleasant. It was just… him. Magic, roses, and blood.
“Swallow.”
My Dark Mage had some fucked-up foreplay, but I complied.
Hendrik looked disappointed as he tugged his finger free of my lips, lingering long enough to trace the top one before letting his hand fall to his side. “It seems Kaito is occasionally wrong.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He had a theory that you might be a quadbrid.” He lifted a brow but when I said nothing, he continued. “If there’s more to you than what we’ve already seen, we’ll have to wait it out.”
“Waiting.” Disgusted, I shook my head. “My patience is running thin, Hendrik.”
Hendrik’s response was cut short as the ground shuddered, sending the dorm wrenching.
Flexing my hands, the claws retracted. “We need to go,” I said softly. “There are other things besides our mess to deal with.”
I had a feeling that Yuri gathering my Virtues to talk to the Dean wasn’t just for one of her bottles of blood champagne.
I started forward only to double over, crying out as an awful pain tore into me.
Hendrik knelt, his hand cupping my cheek. Fine lines of strain fanned out from his eyes and through our bond, I sensed his own pain. No, not just his. All my Virtues felt this… except…
Tears sprang to my eyes. Dante.
“This is Dante’s suffering,” Hendrik said, nodding as if he’d read my thoughts. “We feel it as he does. And it seems you do as well as the Virtue bond heals. Breathe, Lily. Just breathe…”
Several moments later, I was able to stand straight. Swiping at my eyes to clear the few tears that had fallen, I met Hendrik’s gaze. “Come on. Let’s deal with this Council Meeting. I’ve got other shit to handle and I want this out of the way first.”
Hendrik hesitated and for a moment, I thought he’d say something.
But he just stepped to the side. “After you, pet.”