Chapter 3
When I finally woke, it wasn’t to the concerned gaze of the demon I expected.
Kaito straightened and pushed the hair out of his eyes, leaving a streak of blue flame to trail over his strands as he examined me. If it wasn’t for the horns on his head, he would have almost looked angelic bathed in fire.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, his eyes the same ruby tone as Cole’s, except his held a silver ring around the edges that marked him as distinctly other.
Shifting, I groaned when pain raked through me. Some of it was a good pain that nestled between my legs after a night with one of my larger mates, reminding me of nights with Orion.
Thinking of him left a pang of grief through my heart.
Failing to bond with Cole meant I might never see Orion or my other mates again.
What was wrong with me?
Why couldn’t I do anything right?
“I’m going to take that as a ‘not good’ response,” Kaito said, gingerly helping me sit up as he brought a glass to my lips.
Realizing that I was extremely parched, I grabbed the cool glass with both hands and gulped down the sweet liquid.
Water, I decided, but with an extra kick.
After finishing it, I relaxed against the headboard and fanned out my wings, careful this time not to snag anything. “That was delicious. Did that have extra electrolytes or something?” I wouldn’t put it past Kaito to give me a sugary drink to boost my energy after a rough fuck.
“Holy Water,” he corrected, making my eyes go wide.
Kaito had used Holy Water on himself before. Mixing it with pure evil had helped him commune with his Kami, otherwise known as his demon’s spirit, and ultimately it had given him the balance he needed to be my Virtue.
Perhaps it made sense that Holy Water would help me right now, but knowing that a heavenly form of sustenance stabilized me after trying to bond with Cole meant only one thing.
I was still unbalanced, leaving me in a position where attempting to bond with my more powerful immortal mates, such as Cole or my angels, couldn’t be done without risking all our lives.
Damn it all.
Other girls don’t have these sorts of problems when they just wanted a little intimacy… why does my life have to be so damn complicated?
“Where’s Cole?” I asked, dreading the answer.
After literally passing out when he tried to fuck me, I imagined he didn’t take the rejection very well.
“Gone,” Kaito confirmed, sending my gut twisting with the answer I already knew.
Sighing, I drew the bedsheets up to my chest.
I was naked, just as Cole had left me, and my skin burned with reminiscent need and the pain of our failed bond.
Kaito was still my Virtue, and the hunger in his gaze was difficult to ignore, but he placed my well-being above his own desires, perhaps to his own detriment.
“When’s the last time you slept?” I asked him. Even though he had a propensity to always look refreshed and alert, I knew not to be fooled by his appearance.
He shrugged. “Won’t lie. It’s probably been a few days.” He drummed his fingers over my exposed knee, a subtle show of our closeness. “I can’t sleep when…”
“When everyone we care about suffers,” I finished for him.
He nodded and pressed his lips into a thin line.
Giving my mentor a warm smile, I stroked his chin. The blue flames that curled through his hair didn’t harm me. He had taken on more of a demonic appearance after digesting pure evil, the Kami inside of him finding a balance with the mortal form he wore.
The tattoo running up his cheek had always been there, a mark that betrayed what he was to those who knew the signs of a beast. It drew my eye to the streak of silver in his otherwise dark hairline, a mark that I now realized was from his Kami that had been trying to come out of him.
He hadn’t let his Kami win. Instead, he’d found a balance with his darker half.
Running my thumb over the marks, I toyed with the blue flames that burned against my touch.
Why couldn’t I do the same? Why couldn’t I come to terms with the extremes in my soul?
Kaito swept his hand over mine and leaned into my touch, then pressed a kiss to my palm. “I know you were hoping your attempt to bond Cole would work, but—”
“Please don’t tell me I told you so,” I cut in, not wanting to have it rubbed in my face.
Kaito was always pragmatic and patient, two qualities that I definitely lacked.
But it had been three months. We couldn’t just sit around on our asses while Lucifer built an army of supernaturals that would overwhelm us all. Then what?
He would kill my mates.
Or worse, use them against me and make me his pet.
The very thought made a growl rumble in my throat.
Kaito knew the train of my thought because we were bonded, so he didn’t take the growl personally.
Instead he huffed a short laugh. “I understand your frustration, Koneko-chan, but we haven’t been just sitting around.
The twins have been teaching you how to balance your power, how to use your heavenly gifts without overwhelming your demonic side.
Meanwhile I’ve been searching for the location of the Death Lotus that might help you safely bond with Cole and last night… I think I found it.”
I covered my mouth with my hand, then lowered it. “Seriously? Why didn’t you say something?”
He leaned across the nightstand and knocked twice on the wood, releasing a secret drawer that I hadn’t known was there.
He pulled out a leathery book and pushed it into my lap.
“Because I didn’t realize what I had found…
but Cole paid me a visit the other day. I’d just been finishing up one of my maps from a vision.
” He sighed. “He must have recognized the area.”
I stared at the book and when I opened up the cover, I realized what Kaito had given me.
The perfect penmanship of a demon’s elegant script inked across the page.
Cole’s handwriting.
Snapping my gaze up to Kaito, I slammed the book shut. “Cole is going to kill you.”
My mentor grinned, showing wicked teeth. “Perhaps, but at least he’ll have the help he needs when I follow him.”
Cursing, I flared my wings. “You can’t just go reading someone’s private things, Kaito.” I had no idea that Cole had actually gone through with journaling his thoughts. It was one of Kaito’s ideas for treatment after studying human psychotherapy.
A necessary study Kaito had added to his list.
Because all of us were a little bit insane.
Especially when it came to an ancient demon of rage who had spent the majority of the eons tormenting souls.
Leaning back, Kaito took on an air of authority that only a professor of Fortune Academy Underworld could uphold. “I do what I have to, Koneko-chan. And because I encouraged Cole to write down his thoughts, I now know where he’s gone.”
“To risk his life chasing some mythical flower,” I deadpanned.
“He’s immortal,” Kaito countered. “The risk would rather be entrapment in the forgotten levels of Hell, which is arguably worse than losing one’s mortal life.”
Rolling my eyes, I shimmed out of bed, knowing that my body would distract him.
He fell silent, as predicted, and quietly watched me as I took my time to explore the dresser Cole kept for me filled with feminine things.
I had been hoping to bond with Cole months ago. He’d already proven himself worthy when he gave up his wings. I’d been in such a state of shock that I couldn’t stay mad at him anymore.
He was fucked up, sure, but so were all my mates.
And when I could finally see that it was time to look to the future and not the past, I thought I was ready to accept him.
Kaito’s delicate touch ran across the tender skin near my left wing, making me flinch.
“What’s this?” he asked, his voice lower than it had been a moment before.
His warmth eased some of the pain, but I’d been ignoring the consistent razors that had been digging into my left shoulder blade.
Turning to the mirror, I cursed.
The spell had worn off and streaks of black corruption burrowed under my skin, contrasting sharply against my fair complexion.
“It’s nothing,” I said as I grabbed the first low-back shirt I could find and stepped into it. My wings were such a hassle that I couldn’t bring clothing over my head, so I settled on stretchy fabric that I could squeeze into instead, or halter tops that I could tie around my neck.
“Hmm,” was his reply. My shirt wouldn’t cover my shoulder, so his touch returned and eased the pain that spread over my left side as he used his magic. “How long has your body been rejecting Cole’s wing?”
I spun on him as rage filled my chest. “I’m not rejecting anyone.”
I knew it wasn’t logical to react like that, but my nostrils flared and my claws extended as I faced him.
He didn’t even flinch when bright flames billowed over my skin.
“Your body is rejecting Cole,” he told me without fear. “Just like your mind can’t accept that you have goodness and purity in you, preventing you from ultimately accepting the twins either. You’re stuck and you don’t want to admit it.”
Emotions surged through my chest. I wasn’t sure what exactly I was feeling. Some sort of mixture of pain, frustration, and guilt slammed into me, making me take a step back. “Don’t say that,” I hissed.
I didn’t want to hear it.
I didn’t want it to be true.
He followed me, boxing me in against the wall leaving me nowhere to go. “You’re a monster,” he said, his glowing red eyes rimmed with silver. His gaze flared with intensity, making me swallow past the lump forming in my throat. “That’s what you’ve always said, right?”
“Yes,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.
I was a monster.
I knew that.
What else would a murderer be? I’d devoured my own mother, an angel, just to find the balance I needed to survive.
Her sacrifice wouldn’t go in vain. She wanted to be on Earth and to live with my father, the Incubus King, but she was stuck in heaven because of what I did.
Even if I was a monster, I wasn’t going to let her down. She wanted me to find my destined mates and fulfill my destiny as the Champion of the Third Echo of Calamity.