19. Chapter Nineteen #2
“Who says?” Margaret bit her lip, realizing the request had slipped out almost involuntarily.
Those longing feelings were private, and now heat rushed to her face.
How could she beg? Roger had no place in her life—except as a brief acquaintance before she was married off to an eligible match.
Yet in truth, she was desperate to prolong their time together, to savor every precious moment of their solitude beneath the star-studded sky.
Roger sighed. “Margaret, I must speak to you in confidence about our time together . . . I don’t think we should continue this outside the workplace.”
Margaret’s world crumbled. Her eyes burned as tears formed.
She blinked quickly, trying to hold them back, but the stinging grew worse.
She had returned to reality. Perhaps this was for the best. Yet, despite the bitter truth, Margaret couldn’t shake her longing to understand Roger’s reasoning. Did he know about her predicament?
Margaret tried to speak but her voice cracked. “W-Why?”
“Because I am broken,” Roger said bluntly. “You shouldn’t be around me. You need to experience healing and not suffer under my dark influence. I’m nothing but a mindless automaton, numb to everything except fear and melancholy.”
Margaret touched his face. His flesh was warm, and the bristles from his neatly trimmed beard rubbed against her hand. “You are none of those things.”
Roger removed her hand. “You mustn’t act like this.”
“Like what?”
His eyes pierced. “Torture me so.”
Margaret’s mouth dropped. “I-I don’t know what you mean.”
“You have taken control over me, Margaret,” Roger explained with a slight squeak in his voice.
“Each time I look into those eyes of yours, you bewitch me so. You make me think about things I haven’t in years and make me feel things I never have before.
” Roger sighed and turned away, placing his hand on his forehead. “What have you done to me?”
He turned back and took Margaret’s hand, placing it on his chest. His heart pounded violently against her palm. “Do you feel that? This is all you, Margaret.”
Margaret found herself once more rendered speechless, her breath catching in her throat after the man proclaimed his true feelings towards her—the same she felt. They had mutual understandings, mutual problems they were working through together.
Within that moment, the walls Margaret had built officially crashed, exploding into a million pieces, as she pressed her lips against his.
Roger’s arms tightened around her, the strength of his embrace pulling Margaret closer.
He kissed her back, intense and urgent as if driven by a deep hunger.
Margaret sighed, and her knees weakened beneath her, but she melted into him, her hands clutching his shirt as she kissed him back with the same fervor.
Margaret pulled back breathlessly. “I can’t be the only one who felt that.”
“Felt what?” Roger instigated, his chest moving up and down.
Margaret giggled, her forehead against his. “That we are in trouble now.”
“Too deep, secretary.” Roger kissed her forehead, then her right temple, then the other side. “Oh Margaret, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
Margaret leaned in, desperate for another taste of his kisses, but when her mouth was inches away, Roger pulled back, placing his finger over her lips. “As much as I’d love to stay and kiss you all night, it would be respectful for me to go.”
Margaret nodded, her cheeks flooding with heat. She moved a strand of hair behind her ear. “Right.”
Roger embraced her again. “Until tomorrow,” he whispered against her cheek. He pulled away, making Margaret empty once more. She missed him, the missing piece to her soul.
“It will be an eternity,” Margaret said.
Roger grinned. “Then I’d wait an eternity.”
When Roger’s motorcar cranked, Margaret realized the night was over. But her relationship with Roger had just begun. How could she say goodbye after that kiss—or kisses? She could never. Roger was right. They were too deep in trouble. As Roger drove away, Margaret’s heart dropped.
She hugged herself, grasping her coat to warm herself from the cold, but that coldness could very well be her heart—her own selfish heart.
What have I done? Her gut twisted. While his kisses still lingered on her lips, only she could grasp the weight of the damage they had both done.
How could she betray her family by pursuing Roger?
How could she be so heartless, taking her sisters’ dreams away?
And what about Grandmama? Who would care for her?
Margaret removed her coat when she entered the home. She had barely climbed two steps up the staircase when a voice called her name, stopping her in her tracks.
“Margaret?”
She looked behind her, seeing her mother dressed in her nightgown and robe. Her hair was braided neatly as if she hadn’t slept at all. “I thought you had returned with your sister.”
Before Margaret could explain, she fell into her mother’s arms. “Oh, Mama, I did the most terrible thing. I’m an awful person.”
Mama rubbed Margaret’s back softly, making quiet shushing noises. “Whatever do you mean, sweetheart?”
Margaret wiped the single tear she had tried to hold back. “I have betrayed this family.”
Mama remained silent, her eyes telling Margaret to continue.
“I have jeopardized our chance to gain the family fortune,” Margaret explained. “I-I have been foolish.” Margaret sniffed, burying her face into Mama’s shoulder.
“It’s not Lord Burton you care for . . . It’s Mr. McKinley .”
Margaret nodded. She thought she’d hear a concerning speech but instead a soft giggle. A huge smile appeared on her mother’s face when Margaret looked up. “Oh, darling, don’t be frightened.”
“I should be,” Margaret snapped. “Now I’ve taken away the chance for my sisters to have the lives they wished for. They’ll never have assets or—“
“Have you spoken to them?” Mama asked.
Margaret shook her head, wiping another tear. “No.”