Chapter 3
“Ladies and gentlemen!”
The voice came from nowhere and everywhere all at once.
We all jumped—even the queens looked startled, glancing around, and then the crowd to their side parted to make way for a man who was much shorter than Cook, who wore trousers with squares on them, and held in front of his lips a round device covered in some sort of a metal mesh.
He screamed the words into his device, and the voice spread with magic all around us, came at us from all directions, so loud it was all I could do to keep my hands at my sides.
That voice. It was unnecessarily harsh and high pitched—or maybe it was the device that made it so?
“It’s an honor for all of you to be here in the presence of our lovely queens—it is, it is!” he called and bowed low in front of the queens, who seemed just as uncomfortable as the rest of us. The Red Queen flinched openly when the man straightened again in front of them, and…
“I would—”
A sharp noise that made my brain hurt, and the White Queen put her hand over his device and pushed it down. Said something to him, but we were too far away to hear.
The man laughed, waved a hand, turned around all very casually, but his cheeks were perfectly flushed. They almost matched the exact shade of his hair.
He was very…round in general. A round belly under his brown vest, a round face, a round nose somehow, too, and big round eyes a deep brown that looked black.
He strode over to us with his hand in his pocket, the device he held there showing through the fabric of his trousers.
The White Queen must have told him to put it away.
“Johnny, you’re here today as well,” said Calren when he was halfway to us, and he stepped in front of him, too, almost like he was trying to keep him from coming all the way to us.
The man did so anyway, went right around Calren and stopped in front of us. Looked up and smiled, teeth crooked, one on his upper jaw missing.
“Hello there, dearest Hands! It’s a pleasure for you to meet me—Johnny Kier, the Turning Trials’ speaker—as it is for me to meet you.” Bringing his hands to his chest, he laughed a little, and it was all I could do not to flinch.
Apparently, it wasn’t just the device that made his voice so high pitched and sharp. This was just how he sounded.
“Good to meet you,” some of the others said with nods, before Calren, smiling like he knew exactly how all of us felt, stepped to his side.
“This is Johnny, yes—the speaker of the trials, who’s here even though the trials don’t begin today—but alas,” Calren said and patted his shoulder.
But the Timekeeper didn’t want to hear it when he began to pace in front of us. “Just a second, just a second, Calren—let me see them. Fascinating, really. You’re all taller than you sounded on paper.” Then he looked at Cook standing beside me. “Except you. You sounded taller, I’m afraid.”
My jaw hit the floor, but he wasn’t done.
When he looked at Mimi the Club, he said, “I expected more presence here, but alas…”
“Hey, that was—”
“It’s okay, Mimi,” Calren cut her off when Johnny continued down the line.
“But he—”
“Keep your composure,” Calren said with a deep, knowing nod, then added in a whisper, “It’s only Johnny.” And he winked.
Johnny muttered more words under his breath as he looked at the other Hands, before he turned back toward us. I don’t know what it was about the look in his eyes, but he irritated me even before he began the insults.
And then he stepped back, folded his hands behind him and nodded once, as if he was giving us his approval. “I expected more volume, in general, but you’ll do.”
We looked at one another, and then at Calren, who had taken a step behind the other Timekeeper. He stretched his lips into a fake smile and nodded—to tell us to do the same.
Again, I trusted him, so I did as he asked, and the others followed.
“Glad you think so, friend. Please, allow us to continue. We mustn’t keep the queens waiting,” said Calren, gently pushing Johnny to the side.
“Of course, of course, we mustn’t! Go—right ahead, go,” he said, as if he thought he was giving us permission, but even so Calren continued to guide him away while he nodded at us and mouthed, move!
We did.
We moved toward the queens.
How curious to live this day, I thought, and it should have been Jinx, I thought, and I would have never-ever-reven been here if only she hadn’t died.
Once more the world ran out of air to breathe, and then Calren was ahead of us again, guiding us forward while the queens waited and the guests behind them cheered louder and louder…
“A general rule you will want to stick to—do not engage with Johnny if you see him. The more you speak, the worse it’s going to get. If you’re going to take any advice I give you, take that,” he said, but I was only half listening because the queens were getting closer and closer.
We were going closer and closer to them.
“Oh, my dearest tickers—welcome, welcome to the Labyrinth!”
The White Queen sounded like birds chirping. Beautiful music to my ears.
I breathed.
“It’s so good to have you among us, such an honor. Please, gather round—let us see you!” And she waved her hands about so gracefully, too.
We did as she asked, all of us without question. We gathered into a half circle around the queens while they looked at us—and we looked at them.
The White Queen was slightly taller, skinnier, with sharp edges and soft eyes, her hair as white as snow just touching her shoulders, the ends of it turned outward so perfectly, like the edges of a cylinder hat—and it didn’t move at all.
Like it was ice for real, like it was frozen.
She wore white with a red rose pinned to the front of her flowy dress, and two red rings over her white gloves, which went all the way up to her elbows.
Her crown must have been made of crystal because it was see-through, and it had red stones here and there, too.
The Red Queen was…regal. She kept her chin up and her arched brows slightly raised, and her brown eyes promised you that they could see more than you wanted her to—but they were also kind.
The smile on her face, only half a smile, like that of the Heart boy, was full of mischief, but honest. She wore red, tight around her torso, revealing the flawless curves of her body, then billowing from the hips, red fabric spilling down in a million layers.
Her hair was red, too, a different red from the ginger shades of Timekeepers, and it was done in thin curls that looked both sophisticated and wild.
Her crown was made of gold, decorated with rubies and diamonds everywhere.
They both looked like they’d stepped out of a storybook, not part of the real life.
How could one possibly be so…much?
“Your Excellencies, these are your Hands, delivered to you as promised,” Calren said and bowed right after he threw us a quick look—to remind us to do the same.
We did.
It didn’t come naturally to me at all to curtsy, especially not deeply enough to properly respect the queens, but I didn’t fall. And when we straightened up again, the queens were smiling at one another—
“Exquisite! They are quite wonderful, sister, don’t you think?” said the White Queen.
The Red Queen nodded. “Indeed, they seem to be. Trouble, too,” she said—and I could have sworn she winked just then. “Good trouble.”
Laughter. “Oh, it’s going to be a good year, indeed,” said the White Queen, and the way she moved was mesmerizing. Like maybe her arms had no bones in them. Like maybe she was kind of liquidy.
“It’s an honor to meet you, Your Excellencies,” said someone down the line—Helen, I thought, and the rest all rushed to tell them it was their honor, too.
I did the same, though I didn’t want to annoy them, and it seemed awfully annoying to be speaking at the same time, but I also didn’t want to risk offending them by not talking.
The only people who didn’t rush to speak were Levana, the Heart boy March, and Silas standing right next to me.
In fact, when I looked at him for a split second, I could have sworn he was angry as he stared down at the ground.
Could have been my imagination.
“Now, now, my little tickers,” said the White Queen. “It’s important that—”
“My queens, please allow me as your speaker—to speak!”
It was Johnny the Timekeeper, and he was suddenly approaching the Red Queen from the side.
The look the Red Queen gave him—like a bull about to charge.
By some miracle, Johnny noticed. He pivoted to the side as casually as he could, and took his place near the White Queen instead, all the while smiling.
“Of course, of course, Johnny dearest,” said Her Excellency, though she, too, looked like she’d just swallowed something sour. “I guess our guests can wait a moment longer.”
“They most certainly can,” said Johnny, in his hands his round device that he did not, thankfully, bring to his lips.
Instead, he cleared his throat and puffed his chest and said, “We all know the importance of the Turning Trials. They have been held every five years for the last century and a half for one purpose, and one purpose alone: to produce more Sparetime. Today is indeed special, because it marks the start of the 31st Turning Trials in the year three-thousand and three since our realm’s creation—indeed an interesting number, dare I say, my queens?
” He bowed. “So many threes. Far too many for my liking, but alas…”
“Yes, yes, dear—hurry along,” said the White Queen, while the Red Queen rolled her eyes when he spoke again, which made me smile before I could stop it.
“Certainly,” said Johnny and cleared his throat again.
“Sparetime is as important to us as the time in our bodies, as you all well know. The Labyrinth was created by the brilliant mind of the Royal Timekeeper Emothy Ever—and his detailed sketches—almost two whole centuries ago, hence why the palace of the Labyrinth has been accurately named The Ever. To honor him, indeed, for creating the very place that will take the magic used by the Hands in these trials and multiply it so that it creates ten times more Sparetime for harvesting—so that our people may have all the magic their hearts desire for the next five years and beyond!”
He clapped his hands together. It was odd to watch. Almost painful until the White Queen did the same, and she encouraged us to join with a sorry smile. We did.
“Today, we formally celebrate the beginning, and may the new Hands help the Labyrinth produce more Sparetime than ever before in the coming weeks.” He smiled proudly. “The Diamonds will be waiting.”
With that, he bowed.
“Thank you, Johnny, dearest. If you may—” the White Queen started, but the Red cut her off.
“Calren has something important to tell you, Johnny. Go along now, don’t straggle. Follow Calren. Go,” she said, waving her hand covered in a red glove toward our warden.
The look on Calren’s face.
It was clear to see that he didn’t have anything important to tell Johnny. It was clear to see that he would rather be doing anything else, and the horrified look he gave the Red Queen screamed it.
The Red Queen smiled mischievously.
Calren bowed his head. “Of course, Your Redness,” he said. “If I may have your attention, friend.” He waved his hand for Johnny to follow.
He eagerly did. “Certainly, certainly. I assume you’ll want my help for something, won’t you? Yes, yes, let us hear it…”
The Red Queen had a hand in front of her mouth, but I could have sworn her shoulders shook a little, like she was laughing.
The rest of us were smiling, too. So was the White Queen.
“Well—that’s over,” she said, pretending to dust off the layers of her dress.
“Finally, it is time to meet the guests. It is very important, you see, as I was saying, because it is they, the biggest families of the Clockrealm, that make the Turning Trials possible with their generous financial support,” she said.
“So, please, be nice—and smile, my little tickers. Smile! Good days are coming.”
We followed the queens to the cocktail tables to meet the guests, and all the while I was smiling and thinking, poor, poor Calren.