Chapter 30
Timesand falling—
Wide eyes and pale faces—
Shaking hands and groaning gears—
Glass shards all over the floor—
The Thirteenth Hour humming, glowing—
A knock on the door.
My eyes had been open all along, but once those noisy thoughts in my head disappeared, I actually saw the ceiling of my bedroom. I found myself still lying in bed, on my back, hands folded over my stomach, clean, dressed, heartbeat calm.
It was over. The third Turning Trial was over, and I was still alive.
Only…barely.
“Miss Reese, it’s time for dinner. Hurry up, please—we have a surprise for you!”
Lida’s voice came from the hallway, and the disappointment gnawed at my insides. I didn’t really realize it, but I’d hoped it would be March.
I considered telling her that I wasn’t hungry, but I was. I’d already skipped lunch.
I considered pretending I was asleep, too. After all, the trial had only ended some four or five hours ago, and it was eight m.b. The sky outside my windows was dark. No moon or stars in sight—but I also knew that Lida wasn’t going to stop knocking if I tried that.
As if to prove me right, she knocked again. “Miss Reese?”
I figured I’d go eat so my body stopped feeling so weak, and then maybe I could get some actual sleep instead of lying in bed and getting assaulted by memories all night long.
The others were already out of their doors when I stepped into the hallway. Lida smiled at me but it didn’t reach her eyes. She took one look at my face and whatever she saw in it, she stepped back, nodded.
“There you are,” she said, the sweetness of her voice fake, too. “Well, I’ll let you get to the eating hall yourselves, then.”
She was more than eager to stay behind when I went ahead. March was there, walking alongside Reggie, and he didn’t stop to wait for me like he did before.
Well, it’s not before anymore, I reminded myself. Things had happened. A lot of things, in such a little time.
“Do you know what the surprise is?” Mimi whispered when she and Erith fell in step with me.
I shrugged. “Does it matter?” We still had another three days to be here. We still had to finish the fourth trial before any of us was free.
Something stinks-stinks-stinks like rotten seconds, went the thoughts in my head, while the girls booed me.
“You’re no fun,” said Erith, and she rushed forward to go lace her arm around Reggie’s, to ask him the same question.
“You okay?” Mimi asked, just as we passed the hallway with the glass wall that had become so normal to me lately I hardly saw it when passing it by.
The story of the Great White Rabbit was still being told on the surface of the glass, those little shapes sometimes more visible, sometimes less. Beyond, the night was dark, and the tower of the Great Clock was still there, same as always.
This time, though, I stopped and looked at it—really looked at it. For a split second, it felt like I was being looked back.
Shivers down my arms.
“I think so,” I told Mimi, though I didn’t. Not because I cared about worrying her, but I did care about lying to myself, it seemed. I cared about lying to myself a lot lately.
Then we reached the eating hall, and everything came to a halt.
“Surprise, surprise! Welcome, my little tickers. Welcome!”
The White Queen was in the eating hall together with Calren, who was smiling like he’d just swallowed something foul. Something bad. Something deadly.
I realized I should have stayed in my room, should have hidden, should have pretended I wasn’t there at all, because the last thing I wanted to do right tonight was to see the White Queen.
Now she decided to come see us. Now she decided to smile and clap and welcome us as we approached—and I was sure she could see by the look on our face that none of us wanted to be here, but she ignored it just fine.
“Congratulations to the bestest Hands the realm has ever seen! You were amazing, my little tickers! Truly, truly amazing,” she said, and waved for us to spread about the table. “Go ahead, go ahead—sit! Let’s have tea together, and talk.”
Yes, now she wanted to talk.
I took my usual seat next to March, thankfully far away from the head of the table where the queen sat together with Calren. This time there were waiters coming and going, serving fresh food to the queen and to us, filling our cups with tea, avoiding eye contact as they went.
All the while the queen continued to tell us how impressed she was and how well we’d done in the trials so far.
“Fascinating, really. It was the fastest trial you’ve completed—you were in and out of the hourglass room within three hours!
” She clapped her hands only barely, and her icy lips remained stretched all the way.
Her hair hadn’t changed, the ends of it curved outward, never moving a single inch—and her eyes reflected just as much as the crystal crown on her head.
She really did look incredibly happy.
“Come now, little tickers. Eat! Go ahead, fill those tummies,” she said, and picked up her silverware to do the same.
It seemed we had a fixed menu tonight—my plate was full of carrot soup.
I didn’t like carrot soup.
“Three hours, imagine that, and—” She turned to Calren, sitting on her right. “Go ahead, tell them what you told me, Timekeeper.”
Calren gave a deep nod, putting his spoon down again. “In those three hours, more Sparetime has been released in the air than any other individual game in the recent history of the Turning Trials.”
“That’s right,” the queen said, nodding her head. “And it’s all because of you. Which is why I decided to treat you with my favorite dinner tonight. Go ahead and eat!”
I looked at March, who still hadn’t met my eyes. His jaw clenched hard enough that I heard his teeth pop, but he still grabbed the spoon and drank the soup.
Everyone else did the same, too, because the queen was looking at them. Looking at all of us, one after the other, to make sure we were eating.
I picked up the spoon and moved it around in the bowl until her eyes moved past me.
“As we can see, the duration of the game really isn’t the main thing,” she continued as she ate.
“I was so ecstatic to learn of your success. Oh.” She put the spoon down, brought her hands to her chest and smiled like she was in awe as she batted her lashes.
“I wish my sister could be here, too, to celebrate you, little tickers. You most certainly deserved it.”
“Where is the Red Queen?” I asked, and only after I heard the words leaving my mouth did I realize I’d spoken.
I hadn’t meant to. Time’s Teeth, I hadn’t meant to say anything at all.
“Busy, of course, dearest Ora. She’s busy at our palace. Lots and lots of work to be done by queens,” the White Queen said, and it sounded like a load of bullshit.
This time, though, I did catch the words before they left my mouth in a rush.
“Did you see…everything?” Levana then asked.
“I certainly did,” she answered. “I saw all of it. Everything.”
“Even the part where we were asking for help?” Anika asked—and in a moment, the memory of her slamming her hands against the floor and screaming at the ceiling came back to me. She had been heard—but they just hadn’t cared about helping us.
“Oh, yes!” The queen laughed, the sound of it short and sharp—like a knife stab. “That was so funny, dearest Anika. So, so funny!”
“It wasn’t meant to be funny,” she said. “We thought we were going to die.”
“Well, that is the Turning Trials,” was the queen’s answer, and then the doors opened again, and the waiters came back with their trays full—to remove our soups and put in front of us larger plates full of meats and mushrooms and grilled vegetables.
The smell was heavenly, and I had no choice but to eat. My hands were shaking and my stomach was growling too loudly. I didn’t have much strength left.
“What Her Excellency means to say is that each game has its own level of difficulty, and you know that the higher the number of the trial, the more difficult it is to win,” Calren said, only we knew exactly how he normally spoke, and this wasn’t it.
He sounded like he was forcing the words out of him with all his might.
“Precisely,” said the White Queen.
“But the archives, all the interviews with the former Hands—” Anika started.
“All of that is meant for the public, little ticker. The real story is only for the Hands who get accepted to play these games.”
Accepted, she said.
I looked at Silas across the table, and it actually shocked me to see how hard he was holding his silverware, clenching his jaw, lowering his head almost all the way to the table.
He’d told me once that the only test that they cared about when accepting applicants and choosing the next Hands was the first test—the blood test.
Which they used to test magic, not diseases or anything else.
“For me personally, the Thirteenth Hour trial was my favorite so far,” the queen continued as the last of the waiters left the room again and closed the doors behind them. “Your performance was outstanding—especially that last time the First Hour rang.” Laughter. “Wonderful. Simply wonderful.”
“Well, I wouldn’t call it performance,” I said—again, only realizing I’d spoken after I heard my own voice out there in the world.
“Yes. It was sheer terror,” Mimi added.
“Exactly! It was authentic, and that’s why it was so impressive,” the queen said. “Now, eat, everyone! Enjoy my favorite meal. Try it, try it!”
We all turned to our plates, and the queen began to speak with Calren in hushed voices, the smile never leaving her face even as she ate. We all forced ourselves to chew and swallow because we did need the food, and we said nothing for a long time.
The food could have been delicious but its taste was lost on me. I ate just enough so my stomach stopped singing, and I was ready to run, get back to my room, or go out there in the mechanical garden, maybe see if they’d taken off the protection layers around the junkyard.
Time’s Teeth, I’d give anything right now to be back to one of those first nights. To be me again.
Tears pricked the backs of my eyes so suddenly, it scared me. I took in a deep breath, looked around the table, stopped at March.
“March,” I whispered, the need to say his name coming at me out of nowhere, fueled by the sudden panic.
He turned slowly, looked at me like he would rather be looking at anything else.
The gears in my stomach steamed in complaint.
“You ready to answer my question?” he said, without an ounce of hesitation, without batting an eye.
“I—” I shook my head—now was not the time to talk about his stupid question!
To him, though, it was. “Then there’s nothing for us to talk about.”
With that, he returned to his food, and didn’t look at me again.
Meanwhile I felt like I’d just swallowed a sack of rocks. Angry because he rejected me, ignored me, refused to talk to me, and hurt and desperate and disappointed for the same reasons, too.
I felt so much so suddenly, I feared my ribcage was going to break.
“What’s the fourth trial going to be like?” Anika asked after a moment. “Your Highness.”
“Yes. If we did so well and already gathered so much Sparetime, maybe you can tell us how to win the last trial faster,” said Reggie. “Your Excellency.”
“Oh, but I cannot do that! That would be cheating!” The queen laughed.
Silas choked like he just swallowed something wrong. Reggie slammed his fist against his back to help with whatever was stuck in his throat.
“Oh, bless your soul, little ticker. Drink some water, will you?” said the queen. “Anyhour. What matters is that I have faith you will all complete the final trial as well, and win. Just as easily as the first three.”
Except none of the trials had been easy. They’d taken so much from us, had stripped us near bare.
“You’ve earned so much already,” she continued, as if she’d heard the thoughts in my head. “Your Life Clocks are full, and your hearts are full—and now your bellies are full, too.”
“But the trial—” Levana started.
“And did I mention how much the people loved the way you work together? Oh, it was so fun to watch!” the queen cut her off.
For the next twenty minutes, she kept us there, practically against our will, and she never once let us speak, but told us all about how great a job we’d done in the trials, going over events that had been horrifying, traumatizing for us, like they were the best things she’d ever seen in her life.
When she finally dismissed us, it felt like I’d just finished a trial now. I was exhausted and my ears rang with her voice, my mind a chaotic mess of thoughts and anger and guilt and worry about the fourth trial, too.
None of the other Hands said anything about meeting up later when Calren saw us to our dorms. And March barely threw a glance my way before he disappeared into his room.