18. Chapter 18
Chapter 18
Mack
T he weeks flew by after our camping trip. We were both knee deep in our studies and half the time were too exhausted to think.
Maisie was working hard to become a vet, which included so much paperwork and assignments as well as doing her hands on work experience which she obviously loved. The stories she came home and told me were hilarious.
Then there was me, keeping my nose down and working hard. Being at college still brought me a certain amount of anxiety but things were improving day by day, it helped that Ace and Hugh never left my side. We studied together, we ate lunch together, we went to the fire station together and then travelled home together too. You'd think we'd get sick of each other after spending so much time in each others pockets, but that had never happened.
Yes, Ace could be … relentless sometimes. He was loud, energetic and was forever bringing different girls home. But that was him, he was the most passionate man I'd ever met and not just in sex terms. Because yes, I'd spent many a night holding a pillow over my ears whilst he screwed someone's brains out on the other side of the wall and they screamed like a porn star.
Half the time Maisie was here with me, she quite often spent the night. Ever since the break in at her flat she didn't seem to want to go home. Come to think of it, she had spent every single night in my bed for the last three weeks. She was frightened to be alone and that was something I could relate to. Plus, Milo seemed to have made himself at home … in Ace's bedroom. The guy had taken him on as his own and we barely got a look in.
Things were going amazingly between Maisie and I, we had now known each other for around five months. She was amazing, she was teaching me things about life that I never knew before and I'd like to think that I was bringing her some measure of peace as well.
She had met my parents, she'd even come over there on Christmas Day with me for a few hours. My parents had obviously showered her with love and gifts, just like they did me. Maisie had opened up to them about her own parents and what had happened to them when she was a little girl. She had told me a few weeks earlier and it had just about broken my heart. She had been through so much and had been alone for such a long time.
I'd never forget the moment she told me how she'd lost her parents at such a young age, how her life had changed in an instant. It was unbelievable really, how quickly everything could change, it made me want to hold people closer because you never know how much longer you have with the people you love. I held her as she wept that night, she cried for her parents, she cried for all the missed experiences and she cried for the years she'd felt alone and unloved. I couldn't imagine how terrifying that must have been for her as a child, never being able to settle because people didn't generally want to adopt an older child. It was a miracle really that she'd grown up into the secure and strong woman she was now.
When she told my mum, she had immediately pulled her into her arms and held her tight. Mum showered her with the motherly love that she had been missing. Maisie cried herself to sleep in my arms that night, a mixture of relief and sadness I think.
I quite often found Maisie tracing her fingers across her neck, searching for her mother's locket that had stayed there for so long. She did it subconsciously and half the time she didn't even realise she had. But sometimes she did and she would look at me with such sadness in her eyes. I wanted to fix it for her, I'd do anything to fix it.
A few months back, I'd sent out emails to all of the pawn shops in a fifty mile radius. I'd included a photo of the locket that Maisie had given me on the day we went to clear up her flat. She had told me that inside was a picture of Maisie as a baby on one side, the other side held a picture of her mum holding her as a new born.
She longed to have it back, she didn't talk much about it because she was Maisie. She was determined to stay strong and hide from the hurt. She still wore her Dad's t-shirt to bed … on the nights that I didn't keep her naked of course.
When she first pulled out that t-shirt and pulled it onto her body, my heart practically convulsed with jealousy. Until Maisie explained who it belonged to.
She had been through hell and back over the last twelve years, she'd experienced things a little girl should never have to and she kept it all buried down deep. One day she would break, one day her body would grow tired of holding in all the pain and she would expel it all out. I'd be there when it happened, I'd hold her and kiss away her pain.
I told her every single day that I loved her, she still hadn't said it back but I knew that she did. I could see it in her actions and feel it in her words, she was just scared. And that was okay, I was scared too. I was terrified that one day she would grow bored and leave me, but that fear didn't stop me from holding on tight and praying that she never made me let go.
I was so completely, head over heels in love with Maisie Connell.
I was about to officially ask her to move in with me, with us. I'd already spoken to the guys about it and they were happy for Maisie to move in. She pretty much lived here anyway.
Hugh and Grace were getting married in a couple of weeks and then they'd be moving out into their own little house. I don't think it will be too long until they start thinking about expanding their family and I was overjoyed for them. Hugh was such a good man, he'd taken me under his wing. Even though we were the same age there was just something about him that seemed older, more mature, more experienced. And Grace was the exact same as her name, she was sweet and graceful and radiated goodness. I was over the moon for them, I hoped Maisie and I would have what they had too one day.
I'd just gotten home after a long week at college, Ace and Jax were out doing God knows what. I still couldn't get my head around the fact that Ace was someone's guardian, mind blowing. Hugh and Grace were out cake tasting for the wedding which meant that Maisie and I had the house to ourselves for a few hours.
Maisie was on her way home and I'd decided that tonight was the night that I was going to ask her to move in. I'd even gotten Milo involved. He was currently sprawled on his back in front of the fire, complete with doggie bowtie and a little baggie attached. Inside held a key to the house, as you can probably guess Ace had some input in this gesture.
I was just setting out our takeaway food that I'd scheduled to arrive just as I got home, when the doorbell sounded and Milo went mental. That's the only reason I knew it was Maisie on the other side, he couldn't give a shit about anyone else … other than Ace of course.
I pulled open the door and took in Maisie's exhausted form, her heavy backpack slung over one shoulder. Her overnight bag clutched in the other. It was funny, the overnight bag came with her every night, she never took anything back with her though. She definitely wouldn't have much left to move in with.
"Hi baby, how was your day?" I pulled the bags out of her arms and set them on the floor, the relief on her face was palpable. They were pretty heavy.
"I'm good, long day," she immediately moved into my arms and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God it's the weekend."
"I know right, come on I've got your dinner for you," I led her into the living room. The kitchen was just through a doorway to the right. As I pulled her inside, she stopped, I heard a gasp as she took in what I'd done for her.
We didn't have a dining room table, Ace had said it was a massive no no for him and Jax. I didn't ask why, I knew he would tell me in his own time. So instead, I'd bought a couple of beanbags which I'd set up in front of the fire. I'd scattered rose petals on the rug beneath them and had set battery operated candles around the living room. That was Hugh's idea, candles made him nervous. As training firefighters I could see why.
"Oh my God, you did this for me?" she breathed out.
"Of course I did baby, you deserve a treat."
Soft music played in the background as I took Maisie by the hand and led her towards her beanbag, she settled down in it with a thump. I could relate, I'd gotten stuck in the bloody thing earlier on, Ace had needed to pull me out before he left.
I guess a beanbag wasn't the easiest thing for a six foot five fella to get out of, my knees were pretty much up to my chin but I was determined to make this evening romantic for Maisie, so I'd suffer through it.
So we settled in, eating our chinese takeaway in front of the fire place, Milo begging for scraps at Maisie's feet.
"What are you wearing little pup?" Maisie reached out a hand to stroke his head and tickle his chin, leaning forward to grab the little bag when she noticed it.
I set my food on the coffee table and attempted to move to my feet. I grunted and groaned before pretty much rolling out of the damn beanbag and onto all fours on the floor.
"You alright over there muscles?" Maisie asked whilst giggling her head off.
"Damn bean bag," I muttered as I knee walked over to Maisie and Milo.
"We have something for you," I told her when I was right next to her. I untied the baggie from around Milo's neck and handed it to her, moving her plate off of her lap for just a minute.
"Really? What is it?" She asked, whilst taking in the weight of the bag and attempting to guess what it could be.
"Open it up," I told her. Nervous energy flooding my body, what if it was too soon? What if I scared her off? Why the hell hadn't I considered those possibilities until right this second?
Maisie brought me back to earth with a pat on the hand,
"It's okay handsome, don't look so nervous."
How did she do that? She could read me so much better than anyone I'd ever met, even my own mother.
She pulled open the drawstring and reached inside, pulling out the key with a tip of her head and a frown.
Oh fuck, abort abort! I'd messed up.
"It's okay, you don't have to. I just thought … obviously I didn't think. I'm so sorry, I scared you away … fuck, fuck!"
"Mack?"
"Mack?" a tease sounding in her voice.
I brought my eyes up to hers, she had a peaceful, relaxed smile on her face.
"Yeah?" I hesitated, rubbing my hand on the back of my neck, immediately recoiling when I felt the scars.
"Are you asking me to move in with you?" She spoke calmly, whilst I was heading down some inward spiral.
"Yeah … ?" The word came out as a question. Man up dipshit!
"I mean, yes I am. If you want to of course, but ….."
I didn't even get to finish my sentence before Maisie threw herself at me, causing us to fall over onto the carpet with a thump. I barely caught her.
"Oh thank God," she said.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah … I've been dreading going home since the break in happened. I know you guys set up security measures but I just don't feel safe there. Milo cries all night too. You really want me to move in? What about the guys?"
"I'd love for you to be here, you pretty much always are anyway. It would be an absolute dream to wake up with you in my arms every morning and the guys are happy to have you here too." I tucked a strand of crazy hair behind her ear, the longer the day went on the bigger her hair became. It was fucking sensational.
"I'd like that too, it's the only place I've ever felt truly safe …"
"Where?" I asked.
"In your arms."
We finished our food, happy smiles on our faces as we discussed what would happen next and what we both wanted for the future.
Maisie had made a habit out of telling me "You feel like home," instead of the three little words I was longing to hear. She said it often and without thought. She meant it and I knew the true meaning behind those words. I couldn't wait to hear the real ones though.
But I agreed, she felt like home too.
We spent the next hour making love in front of the fire, surrounded by rose petals and candles.
She really did feel like home.