Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Selena
As the lift doors shut, I leaned my head back against the wall in frustration. Stupid males. I was grateful Kaede had come to warn us we were being watched, but did he have to be such an ass about it? I thought we’d connected last night, gotten past the need for the defensive sarcasm...
My mind slid to an image of all the people standing around the terrarium, staring at us—what it must have been like in the café with everyone watching from above. Why couldn’t they mind their own business? Xylo had said it was normal for nestmates to dry their nestqueen!
My cheeks burned with mortification as tears clouded my vision.
I thought I’d been doing a good job adapting to the Circuli’s social norms—looks like I’d been wrong. I’d always be an outsider. Were all my struggles to fit in a wasted effort?
The lift dinged. I ran out as soon as I heard the doors whoosh open.
And straight into something hard.
Hands steadied me, gripping my waist. I hastily dashed the tears from my eyes in embarrassment.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going…”
“Selena. Is everything all right?”
Oh, Stars. I’d run straight into Prince V’dim.
I tried to back away, but his hands still held my waist. Not wanting to look up at him, I slid my eyes to the side, only to meet the compassionate gaze of Prince Z’fir.
He sent me a soft smile. “Are you okay?”
Glancing between the princes, I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I closed it, swallowed, and tried again.
“I’m sorry, Sires. I was in a rush and didn’t see you there.”
Prince V’dim slid his hands from my waist and stepped back as he scanned my face. “No harm done. Now, tell us what is wrong and who upset you so much you did not see us right in front of you.”
“I just needed to escape peacocking males and all the stares. I was heading to my room to be alone.”
“We were on our way to get something to eat at the café, but I think this is more important. Would you join us for lunch? We can have a quiet meal in our suite, and you can relax. Plus, we have not had a chance to get to know you,” Prince Z’fir offered, his warm emerald eyes locked on mine.
“I don’t want to impose,” I murmured as I tried to think of a polite way to excuse myself.
“Truly, it is no imposition. We would enjoy the company. And it seems like you could use someone to talk to,” Prince V’dim assured me.
He wasn’t wrong. I could use someone outside my small group to discuss things with. An unbiased sounding-board. But...
Just as I was about to demur once more, I felt a blanket of calm envelop me. I eyed Prince V’dim with suspicion.
He smirked.
I chuckled, giving in. “Okay, okay. Lead the way.”
A short walk later—and a quick detour to grab my tablet—I was seated on their loveseat wrapped in a navy blanket. The princes sat beside one another on the opposite couch.
I felt considerably calmer and eyed Prince V’dim, wondering if he was still manipulating my emotions. Xylo had told me he was the most powerful empath on the ship—including the nestqueens—but I wondered just how far he could take his emotional manipulation. Could I prevent him if I wished?
“Selena, you have nothing to worry about while alone with us. I can tell you are still uneasy, but neither of us will do anything against your will. Indeed, the strength of your mental shields would make that difficult. We just wanted to give you privacy to recover and get to know you over lunch. You are free to leave any time,” Prince V’dim said gently.
I stared at Prince V’dim’s chest, afraid to meet his gaze.
“I don’t know how to act around you. I’ve never been around royalty, but I read about all sorts of rules of etiquette when studying Earth culture.
It’s all so confusing. I mean, how do I even address you?
Half the time people call you ‘Sire’ or use your title—sometimes, even adding a bow or salute.
Yet other times, they call you simply by your name.
You are clearly far above me, so I don’t want to offend either of you. ”
“That is simple. V’dim and I are not fond of the traditional, rigid formality of the Circuli.
We have known this crew for a long time, both on the ship and fighting alongside the Aldawi for many years before that.
We may be the highest-ranking people here, but we are not fond of the distance that creates.
So, we use titles in professional formal situations—in public—but in social situations like this one, we would prefer informality.
Nor would we take offense if you were to forgo our titles accidentally.
We both understand how much your life has changed, how much you have to adjust to and learn. ”
V’dim interjected, “You have done very well so far, adapting to everything. And we would like to become friends. So, we would be happy if you called us by our names when in private like this. You are also forgetting, you are an honored guest of the Aldawi, and they asked us to escort you. That pretty much puts you on even footing with us.”
“Selena, it gets tiring when others see us only as their princes. Nervousness and discomfort leaks into their thoughts and feelings. That puts a strain on us over long periods of time. Having everyone relaxed around us in social environments gives us a break—and allows them to relax. It makes life easier for us all,” Z’fir explained.
“You have been a huge boost for crew morale. We have been together a long time. It has been a monotonous journey—no guests and little interaction outside the ship for five years. Everyone has gotten a bit discouraged. They are excited to meet a new species and are thrilled to travel to CEG HQ. It will be the first visit to the space station for many of them.”
Z’fir added, “And from what we have heard from Kaede—and from Prince Zirene Darcaw’s aide—we may be docking there for quite a long time.”
Finally meeting Z’fir’s gaze, I nervously asked, “Why is that?”
He exchanged a glance with V’dim before focusing his pupilless emerald eyes on me.
“The Aldawi Prince is worried about how news of you and your cubs will be received by the rest of CEG. You are sentient, so you have rights, but precisely how CEG law applies still needs to be ironed out. The situation is going to be fragile until everything gets settled. You and your cubs will be provided full-time security. They told us once we dock to expect an extended stay until your future was determined.”
“What do you think is going to happen?”
“We cannot say for sure, but Prince Zirene told us the ultimate goal is to have you stay with the Aldawi. Which means your journey with us will end once everything gets settled,” V’dim admitted.
That was what I’d been afraid of—that I’d have no say in my future. That others were planning my future for me without my input, without even asking my opinion—as though my feelings didn’t matter.
That hurt.
Did they think me incapable of thinking for myself?
Was I just property being transferred from the Yaarkins to the Aldawi?
What if I wanted to stay with Xylo, Odelm, and the Circuli as we looked for a new planet to colonize?
It seemed I wouldn’t be given that option.
And now that I’d bonded with both Xylo and Odelm, they were as stuck as I was.
I turned away as my eyes filled with tears. Unable to stop their fall, I swiped at them with both hands as I stared at the ceiling, willing myself to calm down.
There was the sound of movement, and a cool hand touched my cheek, tipping my face back down. My vision blurry, I peered up to see V’dim, his head tilted toward mine, his eyes closed. A wave of calm blanketed me once more, and my tears dried.
I sighed.
“Selena. Why do we feel so much anguish? Almost panic...” Z’fir whispered near my ear.
I gasped in shock. I hadn’t even noticed he’d moved to my other side.
“My future. My past. So many things... Am I doomed forever to be property? Will I get no say in my own life? It is all so overwhelming... and I barely know who I am and...” I sobbed, eyes closed so I didn’t have to look at either of them.
Though I couldn’t turn away—V’dim cradled my face in his hands.
“Explain it. Please. Perhaps we can help,” Z’fir pleaded.
I shook my head. “I don’t know where to start. There is too much... and I don’t want to go through it all again... don’t want to relive... I can’t go through it again... and my cubs—” I hiccupped disjointedly.
“Will you trust us, Selena?” V’dim asked gently.
I studied my hands in my lap, highly aware of the princes on either side of me.
I knew I should trust them. Both Xylo and Odelm trusted them, and they’d know if anything was amiss.
Unless the princes had a way of blocking my connections to them?
But no, Kaede would tear the ship apart if I went missing.
He was probably keeping an eye on me even now.
I relaxed as that thought brought a measure of comfort.
Truly, I didn’t believe the princes wanted to harm me. They had been nothing but kind and caring with me though I had seen their stern and authoritative side with others. So, maybe I wasn’t ready to fully trust them, but I trusted they wouldn’t harm me.
“Why do you ask?”
“With your permission, we can read you. Your past. Your doubts and fears. We would be able to understand what you have been through and what you are worried about without you needing to relive any of it. That insight into who you are might show us how we can help you,” V’dim explained, his thumbs stroking my cheeks.
“What would I have to do?”
“Drop your mental shields and give yourself over to us.”
“I’d have to have sex with both of you?” I choked.