Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Declan
Halfway through dinner, Evie passes a basket of rolls to May, and that’s when everyone sees the ring.
“Wait. Waiiiiiit.” May’s voice overlaps with a gasp from Sam, some kind of elated, keening sound from my mother, a hearty laugh from Da, and my little brother Finn giggling as he says, “Are you guys getting married?”
“Uncle Dec! That’s awesome!” Rowan shoots up from the kids’ table a few feet away and holds up a hand to high-five me. I accept automatically, and I share a look with Eirinn. Her son is and always has been a romantic at heart, so his response is no surprise.
Everyone is talking at once, but Evie is frozen solid on the other side of Charlie. I reach around the back of the highchair to touch her shoulder, and her head whips toward me.
Catching her eye, I nod, hoping this conveys my desire to check in with her. I’ve offered her my hand twice now and both times, she’s accepted. But this is the first time I’ve initiated contact in a proprietary way—like I have the right. A trill of dread and desire slips through me for half a beat.
She nods back, and relief hits. We knew this had to happen, and soon, but I’m sure she didn’t realize it would be like this. She’s not used to the Ryan Family intensity. I guess there’s no time like the present to get a feel for it.
Questions come rapid-fire. When? Where? How? How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell us sooner?
This last one gets laughed off when they acknowledge I wouldn’t have told them much, since I’m not one to chat about personal things, even with my family. But I feel Grant’s gaze, steady and questioning, and maybe even a little hurt.
When I steel myself enough to meet his eyes, I see no evidence of anger or hurt, just curiosity and a kind of promise. He won’t push me about this tonight in front of everyone, but he’s going to expect an explanation.
After all, I’ve been insisting there was nothing between me and Evie for as long as he and Finn have been asking or hinting, so this is coming out of nowhere.
To be fair, it is for everyone save Davis, who is steadfastly focused on his dinner plate, the secrets he’s legally bound to keep tucked away.
As the demand for information grows, I realize how ill-prepared we are. We should’ve had a story. We should’ve made a plan. I knew they were like this and I didn’t think they’d want to know every small detail? What a fool.
Granted, I was a fool momentarily blinded by the sight of Evie wearing a ring I bought her, by that hug she gave me, and the way she said my name.
Weak and a fool.
We have to give them something, and it’s not fair to expect Evie to enter the mêlée on her first visit.
“I’ve always liked Evie. From the first day I met her, I knew she was special.”
Everyone makes sounds of approval, awws and “that’s so sweet” and “Yeah, because you have eyes,” from Finn.
“Yes. I do have eyes, so obviously I saw that she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
She blinks over at me, head tilted in a way that tells me she doesn’t want anyone else to see her face.
She widens her eyes at me, and I’m not sure why.
One way I’ll live with myself when all of this is over, whenever that happens, is to be as honest as possible whenever possible. I have said only true things so far.
“And you, Evie? What did you think of our Declan?” Da asks, the fond anticipation in his voice just shy of embarrassing.
I wouldn’t understand, except I feel twinges of this already with Charlie.
Whenever someone comments how adorable or smart he is, there’s an unwarranted puff of pride or love for him inside me.
If being a father is anything like that, then I understand my dad’s desire to hear what his future daughter-in-law thinks of his son.
“I thought he was wonderful.”
The soft smile on her face makes me want to kiss her.
To be fair, most things do.
My chest physically aches with the need to pull her close and press my lips to hers. To claim that sweetness for my own. To simply have the right to do any of it.
“What made you think so?” Ma prompts.
Evie bites her lips and sets down her fork before explaining.
“It was his first day and he came in early to make coffee and brought pastries for everyone. Then, before the clinic was even open, a little boy and his mom rushed in because the boy had broken his arm. He was crying and the mother was so upset, but Dr. Ryan—Declan, sorry—stayed so calm. He was gentle with the boy, but firm enough everyone understood he was in charge and it was a problem that could be solved.” Her blue gaze flicks to mine. “He was wonderful.”
May grins like the perpetually proud sister she is and Sam comments on how staying calm runs in the family.
Evie chuckles. “Well, yes. I can say I’ve personally benefitted from that Ryan family trait.”
Sam pats Grant on the shoulder and I try not to feel jealous. I’m not normally, but lately, I’ve had a tantrum over Jack McKean, which I haven’t even apologized fully to Evie about, and now my own brother?
I’m grateful Grant was there with Evie and that he knew how to help her.
I am endlessly thankful that Charlie is here and whole and so healthy.
Without Grant, I don’t know how it would’ve gone, but even if everything had progressed perfectly, Evie would’ve been alone.
Grant saved her from that, and it’s a good thing.
Still, knowing it was him and not me burns a hole through me like an ember fluttering onto a piece of paper and singeing out a void in a breath.
“Alright, that’s enough about us. We weren’t going to mention it because there’s something else we’re focusing on tonight.” I catch Saoirse’s eye and she blushes and grins. “How did you grow up so fast?”
Finn dives right in behind me. “Yeah, you were like three last time I checked.”
“Definitely still dressing up in tutus and demanding to have sparkly nails at all times,” May adds.
Sisi’s cheeks flame. I glance at Davis and Eirinn, her proud parents, and see them looking at their eldest daughter with love in their eyes. I’m relieved to see them so calm next to one another, and wonder if, perhaps, they’ve resolved whatever has been pulling at them these last few months.
An hour later, dinner is finished, Sisi survived enduring the happy birthday song, she opened presents, we’re all stuffed with homemade cake, and it’s time to go.
I’m holding Charlie again, who has delighted in all the attention but is fading fast based on his droopy eyes and a quick round of tears.
Everyone’s grabbing their things now that we’ve all pitched in cleaning up.
“Thank you so much for having us.” Evie accepts a hug from Ma, then Da. They effusively thank her for coming and letting them spend time with her and Charlie.
This, like so many things tonight, makes me feel like my ribs are contracting around my organs. This is not a thing, and yet I could swear I can feel it happening.
It’s that longing. A feeling so fierce it steals my breath even as Ma approaches me.
“I’m so, so happy for you, darling boy,” she says, cupping my cheeks for a beat before hugging the half of me not containing a sleepy cub.
“Thanks. We’ll probably set a court date for Friday if they have time.
Maybe we could have Friday dinner be our reception, so to speak.
” I say this as I tug a little sweatshirt Evie just handed me over Charlie’s head, wishing I’d done this when I had two hands.
She helps, though, and he’s covered and drumming on my chest before I realize my parents are both frozen.
In fact, practically everyone is except Grant, who’s holding Poppy. He catches my eye and shakes his head. “Good luck.”
I hoped he’d be at the ceremony, so does that mean he won’t? I’m sure he’ll expect to talk to me sooner than later, so I doubt it. But good luck with what?
Sam hugs Evie, pats Charlie’s back, and tells me goodnight, then she and Lily slip out behind Grant.
“I didn’t realize it was so soon. That’s… very exciting.” It’s my dad who says this, his face completely transformed from elated to deeply concerned.
Ma is still, but her cheeks are flushed and she hasn’t spoken. I expected something else. I’m not sure what.
“Are you okay, Ma? Are you—”
She blinks over to me and her face transforms. Gone is the dismay? And here to stay is a mask I can’t decipher.
“All’s well. Evie, darling, will you humor me and let me take you to lunch one day this week?”
I am not following what’s happening, but I can’t see anything bad about her taking Evie to lunch. Evie agrees, though she’s been standing here just like I have, so maybe she’ll know how to interpret their reaction.
Charlie whimpers and that’s our signal to go. We say goodbye, again, to everyone with a final wave, then step out into the cool August night.
As soon as we’re driving, Evie speaks up. “I don’t think they’re very happy with this. With me.”
“That’s not it. I’m not certain what their issue is, but it’s not you. I promise you that.” I have a suspicion it’s the timing. I’m sure it feels fast. I hope we can push the “when you know, you know” narrative and they’ll all buy it, especially since we have known each other for well over a year.
“How are you so sure? Your mom…”
She shakes her head, and I wish I could stop the car and reassure her face to face, but I know she’s anxious to get Charlie to bed. He’s exhausted.
“They were so happy to have you there tonight. They already love you both. I know it’s not you.” Of that, I have no doubt.
Convenient, considering I wouldn’t want to have to choose between my family and Evie. But I would. And I have no lack of clarity on which choice I’d make.
“I hope you’re right.”
The mild concern over the weirdness with my parents there at the end melts in the face of one clear sense of determination: I will make certain Evie knows she is perfect. I will help her understand how incredible she is so she never doubts herself or her value.
Even if I don’t say it, I will help her know she is loved for exactly who she is.