Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Evie
The last two hours have been a whirlwind of pampering and attention, and I hardly know what to do with myself.
It’s unexpected, but not unwelcome, that I feel like it’s really my wedding day. Then I have to remind myself that even though he didn’t drop to one knee and propose out of the overflow of love in his heart and the need to bind himself to me for all of our days, this is my wedding day.
And funny enough, I’m marrying a man I would absolutely say yes to if he asked.
Then again, he did ask. Sort of. Suggested, maybe?
Offer is best. Whatever. Today, I’m marrying Dr. Declan Ryan, a man I’ve had a massive, borderline problematic crush on since the day he walked into the clinic over a year ago, and there’s no going back.
“Okay, you’re zipped.” Sam pats my back over the zipper of my wedding dress.
That’s right. My gorgeous tea-length dress.
It has a sweetheart neckline in the front, a fitted bodice, and then a full skirt that twirls beautifully and rests a little below my knee.
It’s so beautiful and girly and sweet, but I also somehow feel kind of sexy in it, too.
My hair is in loose curls that have more volume than I could ever achieve on my own thanks to the stylist Mary insisted on hiring, and my makeup is immaculate for the same reason.
I face Sam and she presses her lips together. “You’re stunning.”
Only Mary and the owner of the new wedding and dress shop in Silverton have seen me in it, so I’m relieved to see her reaction.
“You think?” I smooth my hands down the front, relishing the silky texture. I am strapped in here with a built-in bustier and all kinds of things to keep everything in place, but on the outside, it’s all simple and smooth.
“Oh my gosh, Dec is going to lose his mind when he sees you.” May announces this when she, Eirinn, and Mary all join us. “You are gorgeous! I mean you always are, but this dress looks like it was made for you!”
She hugs me, and Mary does, too. Eirinn gives me a bright smile, and Sam dabs at the side of her eye.
“No crying, now. We can’t get Evie going and ruin her makeup,” Mary says. “And not too long from now, Sam dear, it’ll be your turn.”
Sam beams, and my heart glows for my friend. I generally feel rather glowy all around. I’m grateful to have these women with me, and I’m genuinely glad to have a reason to get to know May and Eirinn better. Eirinn has been less involved than May, but she’s here today, and that’s so meaningful.
“Ladies. Five minutes to first look.”
My pulse instantly accelerates.
“Oh, I’m so excited to see the pictures! Are you sure we can’t just—”
“No, dear. This is a moment just for the bride and groom.”
Mary shuts down May’s question and I’m grateful.
At the same time, I’m so nervous to see Declan.
I haven’t seen him since I left his house on Thursday night.
I’d taken Friday off already since we were planning to do the courthouse that day, and instead of going in, Mary insisted we have a girls’ day of pampering.
She took us to a fancy spa between Juniper View and Silverton where we all got manicures, pedicures, facials, body scrubs, massages, and sipped on cucumber mint water with electrolytes while relaxing spa music and the sound of trickling water fixtures helped us unwind.
It was heavenly, and it’s part of the reason I feel so polished today. But it’s also why I didn’t see Declan or do more than exchange a few texts with him today.
Sam holds up her phone. “Clementine just texted to say Charlie is doing great. She gave him a little snack, checked his diaper, and he’ll get his little jacket on soon. Oh my gosh, I can’t wait.”
Everyone chimes in with their excitement to see Charlie in his little suit.
I’ve seen it on the hanger, but not on my boy.
His wonderful teacher, Clementine, offered to help with Charlie during the ceremony, and I accepted.
Part of me wanted him here, but when Mary suggested I let her and allow myself this time to prepare for the wedding, she was right.
I’ve needed this time. Even though I haven’t had any great revelations, the space to let my thoughts take shape and meander a bit without attending to Charlie’s needs has been helpful.
It has reminded me I’m ready for this—as ready as possible. I have no doubts about Declan. In many ways, I have no doubts about us.
It’s not conventional, but I’ve long since decided I’ll do anything to protect my son.
At this point, I think I’m just ready to see my future husband and get this thing going.
“It’s time!” May claps, and everyone holds newly filled champagne glasses high. I hardly sipped mine, but I’m happy to toast.
“To a lifetime of love, perseverance, and laughter together as a family,” Mary says.
“To a friendship that never fails,” Eirinn adds.
“To lots of fabulous sex and maybe a few more babies!” Sam says, and May immediately gags audibly.
We all laugh. Meanwhile, my insides fizz. I may or may not turn the color of the raspberry sauce I think about regularly and give Sam a wide-eyed glare. It’s almost mean, wishing that for us, though I can’t help but wish for it, too—only because I’m swept up in the moment.
Not really. Obviously.
“I mean, I get it, but please.” May gives me a conspiratorial look. “To so much love and happiness for you both.”
We all touch glasses, and I swallow down the lump in my throat along with the bubbles of the champagne.
“I’ll cry if I say too much, but let me just say thank you. So much. This has already been a dream come true.” I mean it.
I’ve anticipated the nerves and maybe even a sense of dread, but I don’t feel it.
It never comes. I walk to a grassy lane behind the Ryan family home and wind my way around a corner marked by giant, blooming hydrangea bushes.
Most of the flowers are native to Utah but these are apparently Mary’s favorites.
She babies them, and they’ve rewarded her with bursts of purple and periwinkle blossoms. Their vivid green leaves create a stunning offset to the pastels of the blooms.
A bee dips and time slows down. It drops to the flower, a faint buzz against the violin floating on the breeze. I can’t say why, but this little bee feels like a confirmation. Somehow, he’s doing what he’s supposed to do, and in marrying Declan, so am I.
Again, it doesn’t make sense, but it’s what I know. So I keep going, farther around the bend, perfectly trimmed stalks of grass tickling my toes left bare by the straps of my sandals, to find him.
Declan.
He’s standing there, hands in the pocket of his slacks, gaze locked on me the moment I appear. His dark hair is styled neatly, his face shaved perfectly clean, and his blue eyes are brighter than ever under the vivid sapphire of the Juniper View sky.
He visibly swallows. In some part of my mind, I detect a shutter snapping. The photographer was pre-positioned with him so they could capture our meeting—his first time seeing me in my dress.
But I only see him. He moves when he sees me wobble. I’m wearing wedge sandals so my heels won’t sink into the grass, but he’s knee-weakeningly gorgeous.
“Evie.” It’s a breath, full of what sounds like wonder.
“Hi.”
“You’re… you’re—” He shakes his head.
Is this stunning man speechless over me?
Because, same.
“I’m so nervous,” I say, the words jumping off my tongue. It’s not really what I mean to say, but it’s not wrong.
His face changes. “We can call this off. We—”
I grab his hands. Cling to them. “No. Not that kind of nervous. It’s just…” I look around at the garden teeming with blooming flowers. Farther into the backyard, white wooden chairs are set up, then at the front, there’s an arch of flowers ornately woven to frame us. “It’s all so beautiful.”
“It is. And none of it comes close to you.”
My heart flutters. “I could say the same for you. You are incredibly handsome, Declan.”
He gives me a half smile. “I’m glad you think so.”
There’s something to those words that make it feel like he literally doesn’t care what a single other person thinks as long as I think he looks good.
“Two minutes, guys.”
I have no idea who has spoken, but it sends my heart racing.
“Give us one minute, please?” I request this of the photographer, and she nods.
“Can we do something really quick?” I keep Declan’s hand in mine and pull him with me, trotting as well as I can in my sandals to slip around the side of a tree.
I need a few seconds of privacy. I cannot proceed without addressing this.
We come to stop and I square my shoulders. “I don’t want our first kiss to be in front of everyone.” I exhale sharply, relieved and a little terrified now that I’ve finally said the words.
I’m not sure what I expect from him. Maybe some logical discussion about how it’ll just be a peck and of course no one expects a performance for a wedding kiss. Or maybe an easy acceptance of the idea, a “sure, the better to support our ruse” type comment.
“Good idea.”
Wait, what? Like—
It’s all he says and then settles one hand on my waist while the other comes to my cup the back of my head under my hair. He tilts his head and kisses me.
No hesitation. No discussion.
His lips are on mine with a soft press. Then another. Then he steps closer, his body nearly resting against mine despite the layers of tuxedo and wedding dress between us, when his tongue flicks against the seam of my lips.
Liquid heat bursts in my belly as I open for him, and then he kisses me. This man was called upon and hallelujah, does he deliver.
For a while there, I never imagined having another first kiss. I thought I’d eschew men indefinitely and in doing so, avoid the hurt and pain Trevor caused me. Not all men, of course, but always a man, as they say.
But this man is unique and he is kissing me like he wants this as much as I do. He is holding me like we’re really getting married and I’m his.
And I’m kissing him back like he’s mine.
A throat clears somewhere nearby, but Declan spends another few seconds devouring me, tasting me like he’ll be tested on it later, before he pulls back. Those eyes hit me right as both of his hands squeeze gently and he says, “See you soon, love.”
He walks away, which is impressive. I can hardly tell which way is up. My entire body is lit up with the possibility and promise that man just handed me.
With his tongue.
I press my hand to my chest, the wild thud of my heart palpable beneath my skin.
Holy crap, the man can kiss.
One more thing Declan Ryan excels at.
Which is, naturally, a gateway to thoughts about what other physical activities he might like to use me for excellence demonstrations.
Well, well, well. That there’s a rather literally slippery little slope.
When I find my bearings and turn to walk back to the house, Sam and May have Cheshire grins and I’m pretty sure I do, too.
“Let’s get that lipstick touched up and get you hitched,” Sam says, winking at me.
I don’t know what to make of that kiss, but I’m not mad about it. I’m pushing away that small voice saying, you’re going to fall even harder for this man and end up broken into a million pieces, and I head for the house.
I’m doing this for Charlie.
But yeah, I guess I’m also doing this a little bit for me.