Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Declan
Finn eyes me over the Jerry’s Diner table after settling in for lunch the Thursday after the wedding.
He’s been staring at me since Sam took our order four minutes ago. That’s enough eye contact with this one to last me a while.
“What do you want? Just tell me and let’s get this over with.”
His brows raise. His surprise is justified because I sound like a grumpy ass and that’s not me. I might not be chatty like he is, but I don’t tend to be ill-tempered.
“I would’ve thought being a newlywed would have you a touch happier. Silly me.”
Sam delivers our food so I don’t have to respond immediately. Thank goodness. Because all I can think is that if I were a real newlywed, I probably would be.
As it stands, I’ve seen my wife less than I did before we were married. And even though we were never physical before, I’ve now kissed her, hugged her, and held her hand, so I know even more keenly what I’m missing.
In a word, I am bereft, and I’m mad about it.
“I need some insight here, Decky. Grant, Davis, and I are ready to help move whatever you guys need, but you’re telling me you’re four days into married life and…”
He raises those thick brows again like I’m going to say it loud. But no. I refuse to fill in the blank. I will not say I’m not actually living with my wife yet. No, thanks.
“Okay, silent treatment. Fun. I thought that was more Mac’s jam, but go off, Dr. Dec.” He gives me an unimpressed look, then bites into his grilled chicken sandwich.
My teeth grind together and I stare at my Caesar wrap.
I thought I could eat, but just like the last few days, my appetite is nowhere to be found.
Even the nurses seem to notice I’m off, but everyone at the office is chalking it up to being newlyweds who are stoutly avoiding making things awkward for our coworkers.
They’ve all been lovely, and Maggie and the Drs. Martinez even made it to the wedding.
Largely, we’ve just moved on and everyone’s done their job. It’s a shame there’s no way to expect the same from my relatives.
“We’re moving slow so Charlie can adjust. This is a big change and there’s no reason to rush it.” I take the coward’s way out and keep my eyes on my plate.
He scoffs. “Right. I mean, who marries a gorgeous woman like Evie and wants to actually live with her, am I right?”
He earns a glare right as Grant slides into the booth next to me. Sam arrives instantly and places a burger in front of him, drops a kiss to his cheek, and then is gone.
My oldest brother is a grinning fool now. Lately, it’s hard to remember this isn’t his usual state—or hasn’t been. Until Sam.
“Is the little one giving you hell?”
It’s petty, but I delight in his use of “the little one.” The irony is that only Mac is bigger than Finn.
Mac is tallest and has the largest build of us as though he pulled out an ancestral gene none of the rest of us did, while Grant is next in line height-wise.
Finn and I are about the same height, or he may have me beat by half an inch, but he’s beefy.
Thankfully, he’s not one of those men who can hardly rest their arms by their sides because their lats are overdeveloped.
I’m not what anyone would call thin, but I’ve got more of a runner’s build.
Anyway, calling him “little one” puts him in his place a bit, though he, of course, only beams.
“I’m telling him he’s got a hot-ass wife he isn’t—”
“Don’t say it like that, you Neanderthal,” Grant groans, which perfectly reflects the look on my face.
Finn holds up his hands. “I’m just saying if it were me and I’d just married Evie and became a family with her and my boy Charlie, I would be all up in there.”
My eyes shut against his words. There’s movement under the table and Finn yelps. My guess is he took a steel-toed boot to the shin, and he deserved it.
“I don’t mean sexually. I mean like, life.”
I open my eyes at that, appeased by his explanation. “I understand. Like I said, we’re moving slow on this because we moved very fast on the other aspects.”
We’re not trying to pretend we didn’t, so this isn’t news to anyone.
For a minute or two, we’re all eating, so there’s a reprieve from Finn’s talking.
As it always does, my mind drifts to Evie.
Has she had lunch? She usually brings one from home, and just like always, I’ve met her at the corner and carried her bag while she drops Charlie off at preschool, but it’s tearing me up every time I do it this week.
Maybe because it feels like we did this huge thing, took these steps, and now we’re back to the no-man’s-land that was our relationship, or very much lack thereof, before.
“Hey, Clementine. How’s your brother?”
Grant’s voice shakes me from thoughts of Evie, but my attention goes to Finn.
He’s still eating, head dropped low over his plate like Mary Ryan never taught him better, but there’s tension in every line of his body.
He might as well hold up a No Trespassing sign for all the subtlety he seems to have with Clementine lately.
“He’s healing up well. He’s doing a great job with his PT and all. Thanks for asking.” She smiles at me. “Hi, Dr. Ryan.”
“Hi, Clementine. Thanks again for your help with the wedding.”
She beams. “I’m always happy to spend time with Charlie! In fact, it’s time for me to get back.” Her pretty face falls a touch when her eyes flicker over to Finn. “Have a great day.”
Grant and I both say goodbye, and not a peep emerges from Finn.
Until Grant kicks him under the table again and he scowls up at him. “Ouch. You and Sweet Pea are both feeling aggressive this week, huh?”
“Why are you so rude to her? She used to be your best friend.” Grant’s frowning down at Finn in true oldest brother fashion.
Finn shrugs. “Life happens.”
Grant and I share a look. Neither of us were here when life happened between Finn and Clementine McClain, but we know the story. It was over a decade ago, though, so I’m genuinely surprised to see him outright ignore the woman.
“You need to get your shit together,” Grant mumbles.
I catch Finn’s eyes and his jaw is set, eyes shadowy and sullen. I knew she hurt him, but I’ve never seen him like this.
“How about Saturday morning we plan to move the furniture? We can get everything settled before Charlie’s nap that afternoon.
” I can’t do anything about his past hurts, but we can shift gears, at least. Plus, it’s time we make the move official.
It won’t stay quiet in this small town if we’re still living separately for much longer, and that undermines the whole point.
Finn’s shoulders drop and he exhales, nodding. “I’m there. Bossypants, let us know what time works for you.”
Grant checks his schedule and we decide on a time, then switch gears to less tumultuous fare. I stay busy the rest of the day Thursday, keep myself occupied Thursday night, and bow out of Friday night family dinner for the first time in months without explanation.
Everyone surely knows why. Or maybe my siblings haven’t let on to Ma and Da that Evie, Charlie, and I still aren’t living together.
Perhaps everyone buys the nonsense I’ve tried selling—that we’re taking it slow for Charlie’s sake and we’ve got all the time in the world.
I meet Grant and Finn outside Evie’s apartment on Saturday at ten. Davis had something come up, but I feel confident we can manage, especially since Finn brought a dolly from the gym and lifting heavy objects is one of his favorite pastimes.
Grant’s large hand claps me on the shoulder. “You good?”
I nod.
His eyes narrow, but he returns the gesture.
Neither of us says what I assume we’re both thinking. That no, I’m not fine, because I’ve hardly spoken to my wife and have only seen her at work, where we cannot talk openly. I’m not fine because I thought this would be fine, and it is demonstrably not.
Evie opens the door before we ever knock, and my heart does a double backflip. That is the least scientific or medically-minded thought I’ve ever had, but it’s apt. Apparently, that one organ in my body has taken up part-time gymnastics in the last week. Neat.
Everyone needs a hobby, right?
“Thanks for coming, guys.” Her gaze shifts to me and she offers a small smile. “Hi, husband.”
The shock and pleasure of having her address me thus is, I hope, hidden from my brothers when I lean forward and accept the kiss she places on my cheek.
As bad as this week has been, today is looking up.
Behind her, I hear Charlie squawking out, “Dec, Dec, Dec!”
Evie welcomes us in and I snatch Charlie up and carry him with us while she shows us his room and what she wants to be taken to my place. Our place.
Before she’s finished, Charlie leans his head on my shoulder. I encircle him and savor his sweetness, then register he’s actually very calm. It’s too early for him to be getting tired enough for his nap, isn’t it?
“You okay, Charlie?” I ask softly while Evie explains that the crib needs to be disassembled before it’ll fit through the doorway.
Her gaze snaps to me, then her eyes soften. “I think he’s not feeling well.”
“Aw, no. My nephew’s sick?” Finn approaches and makes a face. “Sorry, little man.”
“Pinn.”
Finn’s smile breaks wide open. “Finn? Yeah, that’s me.”
“Pinn.” Charlie says it again, then snuggles closer into me.
It’s concerning, the fierceness with which love crowds into my chest for this baby and somehow also for my brother.
“I think he might need some fever reducer. Have you taken his temperature?”
Evie shakes her head. “No. I just started noticing he was low energy in the last twenty minutes or so, then realized he hadn’t eaten as much as he usually does for breakfast. Let me go get the thermometer.”
“We’ll get started in here, if that’s okay.”
“That’s great, thank you, Sheriff—er, Grant.” Evie shoots him a grateful smile, then leads me into the kitchen where she finds a thermometer.
It reads one hundred two. She instantly goes for medicine, and Charlie takes it without issue.
“I should probably take him to the urgent care, right? I mean, he should be seen with that kind of fever?”
It’s illogical that this should charm me or thrill me in any way. I’ve been a doctor for well over a decade and while I’m happy with my path, I’m not someone who finds his entire identity in being called a doctor.
But in this moment, I have never been more grateful I can say, “Evie, love. I’m a doctor. I can take a look right now.”