Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Evie
My heart races, and if we weren’t standing here by the fire, I’d throw myself at him. I mean, the day has been a lot but he just gave me a sign and I’m a smart woman. I can read it.
Here’s where the Dec-ness of the situation comes in. He wouldn’t say that just to be cute or flirty. There’s no chance.
So he said it because he means it.
I stand slowly and he matches my movement, but before we touch, which is absolutely what comes next in my opinion, a log in the fire cracks in half and startles us both.
“We should probably put that out.” He frowns down at the fire as though he’ll remember the personal slight, then takes my hand. “Do you want to look at the stars with me?”
“I—yes.” I don’t want this moment to be over, especially not right when it feels like something is breaking open between us.
He squeezes my hand softly, then flashes me a smile that sends my insides tumbling.
“Good. I’ll get the fire put out. Would you collect our trash and the last few things? We’ll take it to the camper, you can peek in on Charlie, and then we’ll go?”
Another snap from the fire jumpstarts us.
He begins smothering the fire and I gather everything I can see.
There’s not much since he cleaned up earlier.
Charlie hasn’t made a sound on the monitor, but I do peek at him.
He’s nestled in the camper the Ryans generously gave us for tonight, in his pack and play, and Mary and Connor are right on the other side, sitting out in front of their RV.
All is well. Dec emerges, too, and without a second thought, I reach for him.
He has a sleeping bag rolled up under his arm and he takes my hand and leads me on a trail.
We only walk for five minutes until we come to a clearing speckled with more of those sagebrush bushes that almost glow a greenish gray in the moonlight.
Their earthy menthol scent is lighter now that it’s cooler.
Dec stops and spreads out the sleeping bag.
The faint buzz of anticipation in my mind ratchets up to an all-out frenzy. We both kneel on the blanket, then move into position so we’re lying face up, eyes on the stars.
I gasp when I finally see.
There are millions of stars. Maybe billions. I couldn’t count them if I stayed here all night.
“It’s incredible.” I can’t tear my eyes away. “It’s like a totally different sky.”
“It is. I miss it when I’m not here. It’s good for my soul to be out here and just look.”
I reach for him. Our fingers weave together. His hand is warm in the cool night air.
We stargaze for a while, and my thundering heart relaxes minute by minute. Then he begins pointing out constellations. It’s the first time I’ve been able to see more than the Big and Little Dipper, and maybe Orion’s belt, and it’s kind of amazing.
“I always loved Orion’s belt. It’s so simple and specific.” Dec’s voice holds a tinge of amusement at himself. “Pretty basic.”
An absolute flood of adoration for him nearly crushes my ability to speak, but I manage. “I think you’re the least basic person I’ve ever met.”
His laugh comes breathy and low. “You’re too nice.”
We quiet, but my pulse is climbing again. His thumb sweeps back and forth over mine.
“So…” I lean up on an elbow, finally tearing my eyes from the stars to look at the man next to me.
He’s in shadow, but there’s enough light out here to see the planes of his face. He tilts my way, eyes fathomless in the dark meeting mine.
“I’m your favorite?”
The night air takes a breath. I don’t have time to wonder how long we’ll stay like this, suspended in a moment of so much anticipation, because he leans up and draws my face to his. In a second, his lips are on mine. One hot, firm press, and then he pulls back.
“Yes, Evie. You are.”
His gaze never leaves mine as he lays me down, then bends to kiss just above my collar bone. He’s lying next to me, propped on one elbow, his free hand at my waist. His lips kiss a trail up my neck, behind my ear. With a rough breath, he speaks again.
“You are everything.”
I urge him up, closer, so I can kiss him properly. And just like the well-mannered man he is, he does. Soon, we’re in a tangle of limbs, my leg slung over his hips, our bodies pressed close. His hands are on my back, sliding over my curves, and I take the same delicious liberty.
Every part of him is so hot and hard and perfect. And the thought that keeps screaming into my head is, This is happening.
Declan Ryan is kissing me because he wants to. Not to prepare for the wedding so we don’t look awkward in front of people when we kiss. Not because we need to sell our relationship.
And he’s not just kissing me. He’s consuming me.
But there’s no rush or urgency I’m not inviting with my own sense of desperation.
This drive to get closer, to be consumed by him, is the obvious byproduct of not only the endless crush I’ve had on him since I met him, but the reality we’ve made.
And in that, the knowledge that I love this man.
There’s still so much to learn about him, but I love him. If my panicking, tearful chat with Mary earlier hadn’t spelled that out clearly enough for me, as well as my blubbering with Sam, this moment would.
My hands slide under his shirt and he groans when my palm presses to the hot flesh of his abs. This man is artwork, and I already knew it, but I’m very pleased to get my hands on him.
“You—we should maybe—”
He’s talking between kisses, and I’m not sure I want to hear. For once, I want him so wild for me that he can’t think straight. He can’t even consider stopping or doing the logical, reasonable thing because he wants me too much.
And for a minute, it seems like we might be there. He’s whispering soft, lovely things about how perfect I am, how beautiful I am, how much he loves my hands on him.
Then we hear it and freeze. I couldn’t tell you what, but it’s enough to bring us back to the reality that his family is only a five-minute walk away. It feels like it’s just us and the wild sage and the stars.
He melts, pressing his forehead to my chest, his shoulders rising and falling. I giggle, because even though I very much want this man, I’m also more than a little pleased to see he’s struggling with the situation, too. It makes me giddy, frankly.
“We should probably go back.”
To the camper. To reality. Neither one is a hundred percent appealing, though I’m hopeful we’ve turned a corner here.
“Probably so.”
I tug my clothes back into place after regretfully sliding my hands from his shirt. He helps me up, then quickly zips and rolls up the sleeping bag. There’s no time to second-guess now because he takes my hand and leads me back along the trail. He opens the camper door, and we go inside together.
Charlie’s still sleeping soundly, so I slip into the tiny bathroom, then trade so Dec can take his turn.
We brush teeth at the kitchenette sink and I change into my pajamas behind a strategically located curtain.
I narrowly talk myself out of just getting naked right there.
The man is my husband after all, and we just about had our way with each other out with the raccoons and rattlesnakes, so why not now?
Except I don’t love the idea of being literally surrounded on all sides by his family, let alone the prospect of Charlie being a mere piece of fabric away from the action.
Yeah, no.
That said, this is the first time we’ll sleep together. Even just sleeping next to him makes my heart flutter.
“I can take the floor over here.”
I turn to see him standing in boxers that show even more of his legs than his running shorts do, and a soft-looking T-shirt perfectly draped over his beautiful shoulders. But it’s the glasses that do me in.
He points to the tiny rectangle of space between the entrance to the camper and another wall. How this six-foot-something man thinks he’s going to curl up into that space is beyond me. But he’s not going to.
“Not a chance.” I grab his hand and pull him with me.
We crawl into the tiny space, not quite nested spoons, but after a moment, we both relax. He leans over and kisses my cheek.
“Night, Evie.”
“See you in the morning.” I smile to myself, hoping I can relax enough to sleep.
With Dec right behind me, it happens faster than ever.