Found Through Fire (Singed Lies #1)
Willow
Heart thumping and ears ringing, I fight to keep my eyes locked on the entrance to the coffee shop that’s been taunting me since I sat down.
It’s downright annoying. I’ve been in so many high-tension situations: staying up all night with labored breathing, rejecting the pain meds that help me sleep, fearing my next breath could be my last and the cancer would take me away from my family.
Fuck, even something as simple as public speaking in front of a crowd of people, or staring down the barrel of a gun while on a job didn’t make me feel as shaken as I do right now.
But this meeting in particular has me on edge. That much is evident from the sweat glistening on my palms, and I nervously run them down my nice dress.
That’s it! I’m freaking out because unlike the actual badass, everyday “me,” I’m dressed like a fucking lady.
To hell with wanting to make a good first impression!
I mean, yes, I can look professional for work.
But I’m most comfortable in my shorts and combat boots—my nice Converse if I’m going somewhere fancy.
Yup, that’s why I’m losing my cool. I’ve planted my flag in denial, and that is where it will stay. It’s nice here, and the weather’s warm.
Now I’m sitting here, rationalizing why I’m being such a baby. I can't help it. Being raised in my family and doing my type of work means I’m always on alert, and I’d never change that.
I won’t say I had an amazing life by any stretch of the imagination, but I did have an amazing family.
Life’s just a bunch of subsequent situations, good or bad, always changing.
Family is a constant that must adapt to those events.
I was one of the lucky ones who had a family that took all the bullshit in stride, never cracking under the weight.
I plant my restless hand on my thigh, smoothing over the soft, white fabric. The sales lady called it “eggshell” when I bought it, and I had to smother my “eight basic colors” tangent; it’s just another reminder of why online shopping is my lane to stay in.
Through the lightweight material, I trace the edge of my thigh holster, where I keep my favorite knife and gun, trying to draw in the familiar comfort.
Normal people fidget with their hair when they’re stressed, but I have always been a little extra, by some definition.
I’m great in professional settings or around family, but beyond that, I’m lost in a room full of people.
People tend to give me anxiety and indigestion.
My phone vibrates in my dress pocket—and yes, pockets, because they should be in every piece of clothing.
Freaking sexists, thinking women need ridiculously little-to-no pockets!
I take the phone out, knowing it’s the Quad group chat, my three favorite idiots.
My brothers and I have been called Quadruplets since the day we came home from the hospital, but shortened it to “Quad” as we got older.
I smirk down at the screen as the text bubbles continue to pop up.
Clearly, the idiots posted in the wrong chat.
Tell
Do we have a bet going for how long it will take Will to punch someone? You know what happens when she is released into the general public.
Gig
Nah she hasn’t been violent in months.
Ben
Not violent? She smacked me on the back of the head before she left!
Tell
I meant with non-family. And were you sitting with your back to her? You know better. She is like a stray animal. Never turn your back!
Gig
I feel like you had it coming for some reason… And you need to be careful with that! I feel like you only have so many brain cells left! A few more of those and we may have to start child-proofing the house!
Ben
I’m offended! I feel like she overreacted when I said something about her height…and I’m not stupid enough to sit where I can’t see her!
And I feel like we have too many 90-degree angles in our house.
I was standing and she jumped…
Tell
…
Gig
…
You called her short…? Why do I feel like all of the common sense went to Tell and I in the womb?
Tell
Some babies eat each other during pregnancy. I think we just figured out how to take all the common sense…
Ben
Anyways, we are off topic. I think I want to buy into the bet. She seemed tense this morning. I told her not to have the fifth cup of coffee… And maybe said that is why she stopped growing…
Tell
…
Gig
…
Tell
Yup, we took all the common sense. Didn’t she cut you when you asked if she could find shoes that light up when she ran in her size?
Ben
IT WAS A VALID QUESTION!!!
Gig
… Well at least when she kills you for being stupid someday, we can honestly say we weren’t surprised who was voted off the island first.
Tell
You should’ve left it alone. Let’s face it, we’re her only hope for a social life.
Ben
It’s a lot of work, but someone has to do it.
Me
…
You guys realize this is the Quad chat, right?
Tell
…
Gig
…
Ben
…
Tell
Nope…
Gig
Okay, good chat. Let us know if you need back-up. You know I’m keeping an eye on the CCTV at the coffee shop.
Ben
What he said. I mean, not the part about watching the cameras. I’m still not allowed in his room after the soda vs. computer incident. But on the back-up part. Love you little sis!!
And for the record, let’s just remember that Tell started this!
Tell
Good luck little sis… I’m going to go find Ben and thin the herd a little. So when you come back, we’ll be triplets instead of quads…
Me
Love you guys. And triplets is boring … CAN WE BE THE TRIPOD?!?!?!
Gig
I second that notion.
Ben
... Well at least I see where the loyalty is…
Will, can I buy your loyalty? I just ordered you more of that crack water you call coffee…
Me
THE ONE THAT COMES WITH THE FREE STICKERS?!?!?!
Never mind Teller, he can live! He is back in the running for favorite Quad today.
Okay, can you guys go to your super-secret super-stupid brother group chat that I pretend I don’t know about? All of this dinging is distracting me and I need to pump myself up to come off as pleasant.
Tell
… Yeah, that could take a min…
Ben
Did you stretch your face muscles so you don’t get a cramp from not doing your normal RBF? It could give you a facial cramp if you have to try and look friendly for an extended period of time.
Me
… Never mind Tell, you can thin the herd.
Tell
On it!
Gig
Good luck! See you when you get home.
As I set my phone back on the table, I can feel the genuine smile that’s plastered on my face for the first time since Mom died.
Those idiots knew I was freaking out and needed a distraction.
Or they are just that dumb. That’s more likely.
But I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.
They know me better than anyone. We have been together since the day we were born, a bundle of incubators in the NICU.
The place where Mom and Dad met and forged a friendship.
They both needed something from each other: Mom needed another adult who could have just one thing in common with her.
She had never had that before, living the life she did at just twenty-one.
Even though Dad was ten years older and had a more stable reality, he was scared out of his mind.
He needed Mom’s strength and resilience after his life of routine and comfort blew up around him.
We were set to be released around the same time, but a week before they got the news that we could go home, Dad noticed the petrified look on Mom’s face. After a bunch of questions—or as Mom would say, an interrogation, because he was a Seal after all—he finally found out that she had no one.
Dad then had to take the full week to convince my beautiful, proud, stubborn mother to stay with him, even going so far as to offer her a job as a nanny for the triplets. They were friends at that point, and were the only ones that could understand what the other had gone through.
It took three years before they finally gave in to their feelings, and we officially became family.
We were all at the wedding, and were eventually all adopted by both parents.
The smile returns to my face while tracing my finger around the outside of my phone absentmindedly.
As I recall how beautiful Mom looked in her wedding photos, my heart stings with the emptiness that has consumed me since I lost her.
Since Mom died, we’ve all been flailing around, trying to figure out how to survive in a world without her. She was the center of our family; she held us together. Now, we are trying to find a new balance.
As I look around the welcoming and cozy decor of the coffee shop, I smirk. My brothers managed to pull me from my internal freak out, and now, I can actually appreciate the shop. It’s cute, whimsical, and has irony in spades for today’s meeting, even if it’s only obvious to me.
The coffee shop and bookstore’s an ode to the villains in the fairytales.
None of the furniture matches, like we’re sitting in the middle of an antique shop, surrounded by bookcases that are completely full.
The paintings covering the black walls are all abstract pieces in various shades of grey, black, and white.
Strangely, it ties together the chaos of the rest of the decor.
It made me chuckle when I read the description online, and I had to do it, just so I could add another layer for when I tell this story someday. I love me some details.
The bell over the door chimes, and I bring my focus back, silently berating myself for taking my eyes off it during my decor perusal.
My target peers around for someone, and I know just by the looks of him, it’s me he’s searching for.
I stand and meet his eyes before he gives a subtle head nod and makes his way over to the back corner.
I’m seated with my back to the wall—giving me the perfect view of the entire shop.
As Jackson walks to my table, I take in his features, trying to pinpoint all the ones my mother had cataloged and recited to my family over the years. They’re all there, but on a grown man instead of the baby she remembered and dreamed of.