Prologue
The Last Ride
Crusher
It always smells like piss back here behind the homeless shelter I volunteer at.
Rain hits the pavement like it's trying to drown the city.
The alley behind the shelter is dark, lit only by a flickering streetlight and the red pulse of an ambulance still too far away.
I kneel in it. Piss, blood, rain, maybe all three, trying to keep a kid I barely know alive.
He's maybe fifteen with a skinny frame, shaking as he bleeds out. There's a hole in his hoodie where the knife went in, and another one under his ribs where they twisted it. His eyes flutter open like he’s still hoping someone’s gonna fix this.
“Stay with me,” I say, pressing my hands over his chest. “Come on, man. Stay with me.”
His warm blood soaks into my palms and stains my jeans.
I can’t stop it. He’s gasping like his lungs forgot how to work.
His name’s Jordan. I remember now. He sometimes plays pickup with my little brother.
He laughs too loudly. He’s the kind of kid who never stops talking, even when people stop listening. But he isn’t saying anything now.
“You’re gonna be okay,” I lie. I say it again, softer. “You’re gonna be okay.”
Jordan blinks up at me, but I don’t think he hears me anymore.
Four hours earlier – Haven Shelter, Mt. Pleasant, MI
The front door chimes, even though it's barely working. I’m halfway through stacking boxes of canned soup in the back closet when I hear wet footsteps on tile.
A sharp voice came from the front desk. Marlene. “Jesus, Jordan. You look like hell.”
I drop the box and head out to the lobby. He’s there, dripping rain on the cheap linoleum floor, looking like someone chewed him up and spit him out in the gutter. His lip is split. The jacket he’s wearing is way too big, probably stolen. One sleeve is torn, and his knuckles are raw.
“Yo,” I call out. “What happened?”
Jordan lifts his chin. Tries to smile, but it hurts. I can tell. “Took a little trip down Sycamore. Didn’t like the scenery.”
I glance at Marlene. She raises a brow and goes to call one of the staff counselors. I motion for Jordan to follow me and head toward the break room. It's quiet back here. Smells like burnt coffee and wet drywall.
“You need to clean up,” I say, grabbing a towel from the cabinet. “And maybe a damn helmet if you’re gonna keep running into fists.”
He laughs, then winces. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t trying to fight. Just trying to help someone out.”
I toss him the towel. “You bleeding anywhere else?”
He shakes his head. “Not mine. Not tonight.”
That gets my attention. I lean against the counter, arms crossed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jordan lowers the towel. His eyes flick toward the hallway, like someone might be listening. Then he steps closer and drops his voice.
“A girl was being kept at one of those houses on Sycamore. You know the ones.”
Yeah, I know. Burnt-out duplexes with boarded windows and tagged. No one pays attention to what happens behind those doors. Not even the cops.
“I know a guy who knew a guy,” he goes on. “Got her out. She’s safe now, but they think I set it up,” he says, then bites his lip. “And maybe I didn’t stop it either. I knew it was coming. I just… I thought I had more time.”
I frown. “Did you?”
“No,” Jordan says quickly, shaking his head. “But I know who did, and that’s enough for them.”
“You need to lay low, then,” I tell him. “Crash here tonight. I’ll talk to Marlene, make sure nobody bothers you.”
He snorts. “Too late. They’re already looking. I saw one of them near the bus stop. He had face tats, red shoes, and reeked of Coke. He didn’t even try to be subtle.”
My stomach tightens. “You sure it’s them?”
He nods. “Dead sure. They’re the Syndicate boys. That’s why I ran.”
Fuck. “The Syndicate doesn’t just deal. They make people disappear. Girls don’t make it out unless someone dies in their place.
Now I’m looking at a kid with blood on his face and a target on his back, and the shelter’s not gonna cut it. Not with the Syndicate. Not with the kind of heat they bring when you mess with their pipeline.
“You should go to the cops,” I say, even though we both know it’s a joke.
Jordan grins, teeth red. “You think they’d listen to me? I’ve been in juvie twice. I’m a runaway. No one gives a shit what I say.”
I don’t argue because he has a point. The system is so messed up that even a kid who wants to be on the straight and narrow will always be haunted by his past decisions.
I hand him the leftover sandwich from my bag and tell him to stay in the break room. I’ll talk to Marlene. Figure something out. I don't know what yet, but something.
By the time I come back fifteen minutes later with a clean shirt and a plan to call a friend who owes me a favor, Jordan is already gone.
Sirens wail in the distance, powering through the wet night like a promise that won’t come soon enough.
I lean over Jordan, my body shielding his like that’s gonna stop the rain or the pain or the way he’s fading by the second. His lips move like he’s trying to say something, but all I hear is a wet rattle in his chest.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, even though it isn’t. “They’re coming. Just hold on, alright? Stay with me.”
My knees are numb from the concrete. My hands are slick with his blood, pressing into the wound beneath his ribs, but it’s not stopping. It keeps leaking through my fingers, warm and pulsing and alive until it’s not.
The sirens grow louder, closer now. But still not here.
I feel his last breath against my wrist.
I don’t even realize I’m yelling his name until the flashing lights turn the alley red and white and blue, like a fucked-up fireworks show for a kid who didn’t get to see eighteen.
A paramedic touches my shoulder. “Hey, let us take over, son.”
I don’t move. He gently pulls me back, peels me off Jordan like I’m part of the scene. Like I’m not just a body trying to hold together another one that was already breaking.
I sit back on my heels, shaking. I can’t feel my legs. Can’t feel my hands. All I feel is the part of me that just broke wide open and won’t ever heal right.
I sit in the back of my mom’s beat-up Corolla, soaked to the bone, hoodie stiff with dried blood. The heater rattles weakly through the vents, but it doesn’t touch the cold inside me.
The cop who interviewed me said it wasn’t my fault. The shelter director called me a hero. But none of them knew Jordan.
None of them heard him laugh when he won a game of Spades or saw the way he stood up, even when it was smarter to stay down. None of them felt the way his blood slowed beneath their hands or watched the light go out in his eyes while the world kept spinning.
That’s the night I learned something school couldn’t teach, the shelter couldn’t preach, and even my mother couldn’t prepare me for. Good intentions don’t mean shit when someone dies with your hands on them.
If I ever help again, it won’t be loud. It won’t be public. It won’t have a name or a press release or a pat on the back.
It’ll be done in the dark. Quiet. Clean.
Because once the world knows who you are?
You’re not a helper. You’re a target.
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