Chapter Five #2
It’s just lust, Hope, calm down, said a voice. She’d never felt it before. She cursed her overactive imaginaion. She was imagining him looking at her as if he wanted to devour her.
No man had ever made her want to climb him like a tree. It scared her how he seemed able to reduce her to very basic desires, bypassing her brain.
At one point during the movie she’d had both hands clamped to Axel’s arm, shamefully aware she was taking advantage of the excitement to get closer to him. He’d been like a rock. No discernible expression. But yet not pushing her away either.
They were back at the house now and Hope wanted to scramble out of the car and disappear before Axel saw the extent of her volatile emotions. She put her hands on the door handle and said, ‘Thanks again for this evening.’
‘You don’t have to keep thanking me, Hope.’
He sounded terse. She said, ‘Sorry.’ And then cursed herself. She couldn’t imagine this man apologising for anything.
The driver opened her door and she almost fell out before she could say anything else. Somehow she managed to get out without making a complete fool of herself. Axel waited for her to walk into the house. She couldn’t fault his manners.
Once they were in the foyer, Hope’s intention was to get out of Axel’s orbit asap.
‘OK, goodnight, then.’ She turned to go but thought of something and then cursed inwardly and stopped, turning around again. ‘Actually, would you mind undoing my zip? I know I won’t be able to reach it because the stylist had to help me into it.’
‘Sure.’
Axel came over and Hope held her breath as he came close behind her.
All of that solid weight and heat. His smell.
She braced herself for his hands touching her skin but he was taking so long that she almost asked what was wrong, but then his fingers were on the zip in the middle of her back and Hope had to repress a shiver of awareness.
She waited, but nothing happened. The amosphere thickened around them. It was very quiet but Hope could have sworn she heard her heart beating.
She looked over her shoulder. ‘Axel? Is everything OK?’
Axel took a step back. ‘Not really, no.’
Hope turned around. He was as intense as she’d ever seen him, staring at her. Her legs wobbled a little and deep down inside her, tension coiled and writhed like a live thing.
‘What is it?’
‘It’s you, Hope. I thought I could ignore the fact that I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone, but I can’t. Not without losing my sanity.’
Hope swallowed. She felt dizzy. This couldn’t be real. ‘I think I’m just a bit of a novelty.’
He shook his head. ‘No, it’s more than that. It’s chemistry. Desire. Compatibility.’
Hope’s insides went into freefall. He really wanted her.
Axel said, ‘And I think you feel it too.’
Hope was hurtled back in time to the moment on the plane when she’d looked up and seen him for the first time.
It had been like a punch to the gut. And it hadn’t really improved since then.
Just being in his presence was like being plugged into an electrical supply.
But the thought of him actually wanting her too…
was seriously overwhelming. She wouldn’t know where to start with a man like him.
Then he said, ‘Turn around.’
She did. He came close behind her again and this time when his hands came to her zip, he pulled it down. Hope held the dress to her chest. He stepped away again and she turned around. Her skin was tingling all over. Why…?
He answered her silent question. ‘I’m going to have a nightcap in the lounge. If you join me I’ll take it that you’re interested in exploring this…very mutual desire, Hope. Obviously, the choice is yours.’
What choice? The only choice she could feel was throbbing through her blood right now. It was crackling between them. But she said, ‘Is that a good idea?’
‘We’re two consenting adults, I’m sure we can handle it. I don’t think it’ll go away if we try to ignore it. It’ll become a distraction and I don’t like distractions.’
He was making it sound so clinical and yet Hope kind of appreciated that. As if it were a simple matter of doing A to defuse B. No big deal. When it was obviously huge.
‘You know where to find me.’
Before she could say anything in answer, Axel walked away, taking his energy like a forcefield around him, leaving behind a potent vacuum.
Hope felt a bit bewildered. Why wasn’t he taking advantage of this…mutual chemisry and pushing himself on her? Making the decision for her?
She was used to guys trying to get handsy before she’d even decided if she liked them, making it easy to push them back. Before they could get any closer—emotionally—where they might do some damage.
But this was very different. Axel was not in those boys’ league. He was proud. And he couldn’t be more emotionally removed. There was something comforting in that.
But what would happen to their arrangement if she did take him up on his offer? She couldn’t seem to retain that thread of thought though. Not while her blood was humming and she felt almost giddy with a sense of reckless abandon.
Could she really just follow him into the other room and take this monumental opportunity for herself?
Her whole life she’d been taught to not take up too much space or stand out.
For fear that the foster family would kick her out.
For fear that she’d get some kind of a reputation for being difficult like so many foster kids.
So she’d stayed quiet. Hadn’t ruffled any feathers.
Got out, got a job. Got another job. Steadily climbing a ladder that might one day bring her to a place where she could finally have a place of her own and maybe even a family. To replace the one she’d never had.
And yet here she was in this house and the most enigmatic man she’d ever met was asking her to take up space. With him. And for the first time in her life she felt wanted. Chosen.
Axel couldn’t be making it more clear that he was not in the market for feelings or longevity, certainly not with someone like her, so, perversely, she actually felt as though maybe she could risk it because it was a lot more primal than that.
He wasn’t asking her to expose herself emotionally, just physically.
Hope could turn around and go upstairs and she knew that if she did Axel would never refer to this again.
He was a proud man. She half turned, knowing that this was really not a good idea.
But then she thought of the empty bed. And the even emptier life she’d led.
Apart from a few good friends. Her sense of loneliness was acute in that moment and, while she knew Axel couldn’t alleviate that, it was tempting to think about eclipsing it, just for a while, until she had to go back to her regular life.
A life where men like Axel Drakos didn’t exist. It was the thought of that—of never knowing what it might be like to know this man in the most intimate way possible—that drove Hope forward and she followed Axel.
* * *
Axel’s hand tightened around the crystal glass.
He’d heard a sound behind him but was afraid that if he turned around she wouldn’t be there.
Since when had he been afraid of anything?
Since the day your baby brother got snatched and you did nothing to stop it.
That galvanised Axel to turn around and when he did the sense of relief mixed with triumph, mixed with a lot of other things he had no inclination to decipher, surged through his bloodstream in a dizzying rush.
The fact that she had this power over him already was seriously disturbing but he would unpick that later.
She looked tiny in the massive doorway and had her hands to the front of the dress, holding it up.
She cut a slightly vulnerable figure and it compelled Axel to ask, ‘Hope, do you know what you’re doing? ’
And then he saw how the hint of vulnerability disappeared and she drew herself up. ‘Yes, I know exactly what I’m doing.’
Axel’s cock twitched. Lust beat through him with a force that almost made him shake.
‘Come here, then.’ He wasn’t entirely sure he could walk over to her without disgracing himself. It was taking all of his strength to keep his body at a respectable level of arousal.
She let the handle of the door go and walked over towards him. Had it been only days since he’d met her? Since she’d looked up at him on that plane and rewired something in his brain?
She stopped a couple of feet away. ‘Look, I have to say something first.’
‘Go ahead.’
‘I know that I’m not…as experienced as you.’
She blushed.
He’d been right in his original suspicion. He said, ‘It’s not about experience, it’s about chemistry.’
He put down his glass but Hope said, ‘Actually, can I have a sip?’
Axel picked up the glass again and handed it to her, watching as she took it and downed what was left in the glass. More than a sip. She handed the glass back and he raised a brow. ‘Better?’
She nodded. ‘I think so.’
He had definitely never been with a woman who’d taken a shot before sleeping with him. He took her free hand and led her over to one of the couches. He sat down and tugged her onto his lap and she fell against him, all soft curves and smooth skin.
She looked at him with those huge blue eyes and for a moment he felt as if he were drowning. She was curled against him and he could feel the press of her breasts.
Blood rushed to his erection, making him harder. He moved a little and she slipped into the cradle of his lap and her cheeks flushed even pinker when she became aware of how much he wanted her.
He had half a mind to ask her exactly what she’d meant by ‘not as experienced’, but he wanted to kiss her more.
So he did, pressing his mouth to hers and almost groaning aloud at the feel of her plump lower lip.
Stroking the seam of her mouth with his tongue, she opened to him on a sigh and Axel’s cognitive ability stopped functioning as he was taken over by need and lust and fire.