Chapter Seven #3
Wren kept on staring at him, studying him as if he were something pitiable, which he did not like at all. ‘Was that the goal?’ she asked after a moment. ‘To not be him?’
‘Of course,’ he said, because that was obvious, surely? ‘He made a terrible mess of the country and his private life was a disaster. Why on earth would I want to be like him?’
‘You’re not, though—you must know that already.’
‘Yes, but that’s only because I keep myself under rigid control at all times.’
Wren frowned, her gaze searching his. ‘Was that all you wanted, though? Just…to not be like him? Didn’t you want other things too?’
He’d wanted to be a better king, that had been his mission and he’d thought he’d achieved it. What more was there? ‘Such as?’
She was looking at him as if everything he’d said was awful, as if she couldn’t imagine a worse thing, and that made the hot, smouldering coal inside him ignite into a sullen flame.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ he demanded.
‘The childhood of a king isn’t going to be the same as that of an everyday person, so I imagine it will seem strange to you, but it’s not to me. ’
‘I understand that,’ she said. ‘But didn’t you want a family of your own, too? Or a partner? Someone you can be yourself with? Someone who understands you? Someone who loves you?’
He didn’t like the turn of this conversation. It made him uncomfortable for reasons he couldn’t explain. A family…
He and Carlotta had tried for a baby in the first couple of years of their marriage, before she’d frozen him out, but a pregnancy hadn’t happened. He’d told her he wasn’t impatient for an heir, trying to reassure her, yet that had only added another layer to her unhappiness.
‘I had to marry, obviously, and an heir is important. But I don’t need someone to understand me and I don’t need someone to love me.’
Her expression softened. ‘You may not need it, but don’t you want it?’
It was a question no one had ever asked him, and he quite honestly didn’t know the answer to that.
Carlotta hadn’t loved him or understood him, but theirs had been an arranged marriage and he hadn’t expected her to.
It would have made things easier if they’d liked each other, and been attracted to each other physically, but that hadn’t been the case, sadly.
You should have done more.
Yes, he should have. But he hadn’t known what more he could do. He’d offered her various discreet clinics to help with her addiction issues, not to mention doctors who could provide support for her mental health. But she’d refused them all. They didn’t help, she’d said. She was fine, she’d said.
And you took her word for it, because it was easy. It was one less thing you had to concern yourself with.
The whisper in his head was snide, sarcastic and, unfortunately, right. He had taken her at face value for expediency’s sake, leaving her to flounder on her own, because he hadn’t wanted to concern himself with her feelings.
You can’t do that with another woman, and especially not with Wren.
No, he couldn’t. He’d failed with Carlotta, and that was on him, but he had a chance to do better with Wren. And he would do better. His whole life had been about doing better.
‘I don’t know,’ he said, again going with honesty. ‘I’ve never thought about it.’ He paused a moment. ‘Perhaps we could discuss it?’
Surprise flickered over her face, which pleased him. He did like surprising her. ‘Aren’t we discussing it now?’
‘Yes, but you’re having your wedding dress fitting and I have a full calendar of meetings to get through this afternoon. We can hardly give it our full attention this minute.’
‘True enough.’ Her gaze narrowed. ‘I have an hour tonight free.’
An hour? That was hardly enough time to discuss anything. ‘We need more than one hour.’
‘Fine. We’ll do it the next night, then. In fact, you can give me one hour of your time every evening. Then we can discuss things properly.’
It wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but, this time, he didn’t push. He was trying to do better. ‘Very well,’ he said. ‘One hour. In my office.’
‘No, not your office. That’s where we were when we were working together, but we’re not working together now.’ She tapped her chin thoughtfully. ‘In my personal library, I think. You can come to me for a change.’
He wasn’t used to that. Everyone always came to him. He was the King, after all. But again, he was trying to do better for Wren, and if that meant going to her, then that was what he needed to do.
‘Fine,’ he said. ‘I can do that. Shall we start this after our wedding?’
‘No,’ Wren said firmly. ‘We’ll start tonight.’
‘I have a meeting with the President of France tonight.’
‘Tomorrow, then. And no argument.’
Much to his surprise, Isandro found he didn’t want to argue. He also felt a thrill of anticipation work through him, though admittedly that was about the thought of being alone with Wren at last rather than anything else.
Still, he’d promised to talk and he would.
Then perhaps he’d show her physically what he could give her. It wasn’t love, but he was sure it was near enough as to make no difference.