Chapter 8 #2
Fair point, thought Harry.
‘This isn’t something you can get out of, Harry,’ said Ethan. ‘It’s all planned. Tables are booked. Transport, too. And rooms.’
‘Rooms?’
‘We’re all off to the Tan Hill Inn,’ Jadyn explained. ‘It was Jim’s idea. Food’s excellent, what with the meat all being from Cockett’s, it’s bound to be, isn’t it? We did think about going to The Green Dragon over in Hardraw, but that’s not much of a trip out from here, is it?’
‘You don’t need to worry about the dogs, either,’ added Liz, jumping in, her tone all reassurance. ‘Arthur’s staying over at your place for that.’
‘You were in on this, too?’ Harry asked, staring at his new sister-in-law.
‘Everyone’s in on it,’ said Dave, and Harry almost threw the last bit of his sandwich at the man’s massive head.
‘But... but you just did the whole folded arms, scathing look thing!’ said Harry.
‘Sometimes,’ said Dave, ‘I just think you need a bit of a slap, Harry, that’s all. And seeing as I can’t go giving you one of those, like, and certainly not here in front of everyone, it was the next best thing.’
Harry was both amused by the thought of one of Dave’s massive hands swishing through the air to connect with his face, and relieved that it wasn’t about to do that, and all because he wasn’t interested in a stag do.
‘The Tan Hill Inn, then.’
‘Yes,’ said Jadyn.
Harry knew he had no choice but to go along with what was planned. So, with a deep breath, he did his best to accept it, then immediately needed something clarifying.
‘There’s not entertainment booked, is there? I’m not going to have to sit through something horrendous like a close-up magician, or anything like that? And if there’s even the suggestion of karaoke, we’ll all be having words.’
Everyone laughed.
‘No,’ said Jadyn. ‘You’re fine. It’s fancy dress, though, but don’t worry, we’ve sorted you an outfit.’
Harry was on his feet. Had he really just heard Jadyn say that?
‘Fancy dress?’ He glared at each of them, doing his best to turn them into ash with the heat of his stare. ‘I don’t do fancy dress! What the hell were you thinking? And for that matter, what the hell was Ben thinking?’
‘Not Ben, not any of us, actually,’ said Liz. ‘Best you take it up with Grace.’
Harry really hadn’t been expecting to hear that.
‘What? Why?’
‘It was her idea.’
A couple of hours later, and now back at the house, Harry was standing in the kitchen and doing his level best to be cross, while Grace, who had been laughing for the last ten minutes or so, wiped tears from her eyes.
‘I’m not doing it,’ he said. ‘I’m not. And that’s a fact. I’m not putting on some ridiculous clothes and pretending that’s what fun is. Because it isn’t.’
‘Yes, it is, and yes you are, and you know it,’ Grace replied. ‘You’re a stubborn arse, Harry, we all know that, but you’re not a killjoy. Ben’s really excited. He’s made up to be sharing all of this with you.’
Harry shook his head, still staggered by what was happening around him without him knowing anything about it.
‘But what were you thinking? Fancy dress? Me? This face of mine is fancy dress enough, isn’t it?’
‘Did they not tell you what the theme is, then?’
‘I didn’t give them a chance.’
‘Well, your outfit is upstairs,’ Grace said. ‘Spare room.’
Harry wasn’t sure that he wanted to know what it was.
‘I’ll look later,’ he said.
‘No, you’ll look now. We’re doing fancy dress, too, by the way.’
‘You are?’
‘Of course. Why do you think I suggested it? Couldn’t have us going out and having all the fun, could I? Our theme is Pride and Prejudice.’
‘There’s a theme?’ Harry was horrified, mostly because he was now mildly terrified as to what theme Ben and the rest had come up with for what they were all going to be wearing. ‘And I’m supposed to know what that is, am I, a Pride and Prejudice theme?’
‘The book, Harry,’ Grace sighed, eyes rolling just enough to let him know she was losing patience. ‘And numerous films. So, lots of Regency era stuff. Tight waists, bodices, long flowing skirts.’
Harry rather liked the sound of Grace dressing like that. He stood up.
Well, if you can’t beat them...
‘Spare room, right?’
‘Spare room,’ nodded Grace. ‘See you in five.’
Harry headed upstairs, dreading what he was going to find. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in the spare room. It was spare, after all. He had no need to ever go in there, unless they were having visitors over. Which they didn’t.
He opened the door, stepped inside. Hanging on the wardrobe was a suit carrier. He made his way over to it, took a moment to calm himself down, then undid the zip.
When Harry eventually made his way back into the kitchen, he did so with as little drama as he could, mainly because he didn’t need to. His outfit more than made up for it.
‘Well,’ said Grace, her eyes wide. ‘Don’t you look something, my Love!’
‘One way to describe it I suppose,’ said Harry, taken aback then by what Grace had just called him. They’d never been a couple where calling each other names like Love or Darling had been a thing. Hearing it now, though, he rather liked it.
Harry’s outfit comprised surprisingly realistic fake chainmail, a rather fancy velvet top, elbow length gloves, a cape, and a crown. In one hand he carried a large plastic sword, in the other a plastic shield. A scabbard hung from a belt.
‘I’m King Arthur, apparently, according to the label on the clothes hanger,’ Harry said, but was suddenly somewhat distracted by Grace, who had sidled up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
‘My liege,’ she said.
Harry tried to not smile, failed completely.
‘You like it, then?’
Grace’s eyes were wide and more than a little wild.
‘Shall we go upstairs?’ she asked.
Harry stepped away, opened the door, and decided to just go with it and get into character.
‘After you, m’ Lady.’