Chapter 31
Ursula lost count of the days they spent in that box canyon.
Zul noted the loss of her appetite and commented upon it.
She brushed it off as a distaste for the monotony of their diet and took pains not to let him witness the occasional bout of nausea.
The few times she could not conceal it, she passed it off as a human reaction to their diet because the hardship of camping, despite the supplies Zul and Suvesh brought, made every day seem longer than it really was.
In addition and quite simply, maintaining an acceptably modern standard of cleanliness when camping just wasn’t possible without a great deal of effort that none of the males were willing to accept.
Crow, like most little boys, enjoyed being dirty.
At least the water in the stream flowing through the canyon was potable.
Or maybe it wasn’t, and that was the problem.
There was nothing else to drink, so they drank what was available.
The assumed potability of the water saved her hours and hours of needing to boil it before consumption to avoid dysentery, cholera, or whatever other nasty alien bacteria lurked in wait to cause diarrhea, belly cramps, fever, vomiting and other misery-inducing symptoms. Unfortunately, cold water simply wasn’t effective at cleaning lizard grease off their limited cookware.
Perhaps that grease had gone rancid? Ursula considered the time and effort of boiling water to clean the lizard grease.
And, ugh, she was sick and tired of eating game.
Except for the small, carefully hoarded and sparingly consumed store of dried fruits and nuts brought along in satchels from the manor, their diet consisted of meat, meat, and more meat.
If she’d brought her some of her jewelry, she would have traded it all for a handful of fruit and vegetables, but there was no trade to be made.
Privacy, in addition to fruits and vegetables and modern standards of hygiene, was another luxury she was forced to abandon, especially after nearly being attacked by a pack of hungry yirklas.
Only her shriek of terror had caught both Zul and Suvesh’s attention and saved her from being mauled to death.
Zul, who had been hunting, somehow managed to move fast enough to put himself between the yirklas and his mate.
Upon seeing his metamorphosis from the Zul she knew into the enraged berserker, Ursula understood why they’d assigned him to the duty of protecting her and Crow.
After that incident, Ursula wondered how Zul had managed to camp out there by himself without falling prey to the predators that called the box canyon home.
Ursula resented not being able to perform necessary biological functions without someone standing guard over her—and that someone was almost always Zul.
Zul did not want Suvesh performing that intimate duty, so Ursula did her best to wait until he returned from hunting.
She hated thinking that the box canyon with its primitive conditions, inconvenience, and dangerous predators was the safest place for them, but she did not challenge his decision to stay or demand to move elsewhere.
Instead, she held her tongue, kept a watchful eye on her son when Suvesh wasn’t otherwise occupied, and endured.
Zul hunted, Suvesh cleaned the game and cooked it, and Ursula cleaned up afterward.
After the first few meals, she enlisted Crow’s help, although the boy protested.
“If you want to eat, then you help with the work,” she said.
“Do as your mama says,” Zul added.
She enlisted her son’s assistance with other domestic chores, too.
Both of them helped Suvesh gather wood and keep the fire burning.
Ursula and Suvesh constantly hauled water in the two collapsible buckets they had.
Ursula was surprised at the volume of water they used and looked for ways to minimize that consumption without further relinquishing cleanliness.
Ursula even demanded Crow assist with washing their meager wardrobes in the stream.
The lack of laundry soap meant their clothing remained stained even though they were rinsed clean.
Keeping their earlier conversation in mind, she asked Zul only once if he’d been able to communicate with Gil.
He nodded and offered no further information.
His reticence aggravated her, but she had no desire to argue with him again.
Or was it still? She’d lost track and appreciated sleeping in the protective embrace of Zul’s arms too much to maintain the frosty silence she’d treated him to back in Fangrys.
Ursula liked to consider herself practical when need be—and sleeping safe and warm within her berserker’s embrace was much better than lying cold and alone, separated from the hard ground by a mere blanket.
Zul watched as her cheeks lost fullness and her ribs became prominent despite the gentle roundness of her belly.
She was losing weight, and he did not like it.
However, he was unwilling to subject her to a trek across the desert to the nearest bastion of civilization where they could be identified and arrested.
One evening after a supper killed that day and cooked over the fire, she asked as Suvesh listened with ill-concealed interest, “How did you know to bring us here?”
“This is a place I stayed often enough during the years I wandered after my Prime and Second were killed,” Zul replied.
She shook her head. “No, that’s not what I meant. How did you know to leave Fangrys that night?”
“Ah.” He nodded and decided to give her as much honesty as he dared. “Bran, Gil, and I made plans. If circumstances were such that it was prudent to flee to secure your safety, then they would order me to retreat. Gil relayed the order.”
“And?” she prompted.
Zul shrugged. “He ordered me to retreat and cut off communication.” He made no mention of Bran having cut off communication first.
Ursula rolled her lips between her teeth as she absorbed the information, sparse as it was. “And have you checked in with Gil since then?”
“Yes, you know I have.” He did not mention how often; that wasn’t important.
She closed her eyes, taking a moment to master her easily aroused temper. Composing herself, she asked in an even tone, “Is there any information you can give me? Any reassurance as to whether Bran even lives?”
“He lives,” Zul replied. “How do you not sense this?”
She took a breath then explained again, trying to make him understand: “Remember, I told you that the mental connection of a mate bond disappears over great distances.”
He nodded.
“I don’t know how far we are from the capital, but I’m sure it’s a lot further than a day or night’s flight on a wyvern.”
He nodded again.
“That distance doesn’t make the connection go away,” she rubbed her palm against her breastbone.
“It’s more like the connection goes quiet as if it were waiting to pick up the signal again.
” She shook her head, unsure whether her description made sense.
“It’s not an absence or void like I felt after Crow died.
It’s a… a… stillness, a waiting.” She realized she was rubbing that spot over her heart raw and moved her hand to her lap. “I don’t know how else to describe it.”
“Bran lives,” Zul said again, offering that small reassurance. Then he ripped it away because withholding the information likely did more harm than divulging it. “Gil told me he was tortured.”
“Tortured?” she cried out.
“Bran did not reveal our location because he does not know it. He stayed strong.”
“Oh, poor Bran! And Gil?”
“Gil is surrounded by his fellow rebels, and they are more than enough to intimidate the Guard Supreme.” He paused.
“In fact, Gil told me it was the Omari Prime who persuaded the commander of the Guard Supreme not to torture Bran to the extent the governing council wished. He managed to convince them that severing a limb or two or blinding him or something else fundamentally damaging would enrage the populace and backfire on them.”
“Severing a limb? Blinding him?” Ursula echoed faintly. “That’s barbaric!”
Zul agreed. “Gil informed me this afternoon that Bran was returned to his care.”
“How is he?”
“Injured. Badly so. But he’s alive and in possession of all his necessary parts.”
She looked away in an effort to master her emotions, then she raised tear-filled eyes to him. “Zul, I need to return to him—them.”
He nodded. “And they need you. But they also need you to be safe, and that is what Bran and Gil charged me to do: keep you and Crow safe. I will do that to my last breath.”
“I know,” she replied, her voice soft with acceptance. She looked away, eyes focused in the dark distance and not seeing anything beyond the orange flicker of fire in her peripheral vision. “I’m so ready for this to end.”
Zul was, too, but he was determined never to lie to her again and refused to offer false comfort. “I will let you know the moment it is safe to return home.”
She returned her gaze to his, solemn and steady. “I’ll hold you to that.”