Chapter Twenty
MARCO
My parents, Tristan, and I step onto the elevator together, the tension in the small enclosed space so thick you could cut it with a knife.
Speaking of a knife, it’s a damn good thing weapons aren’t allowed in the hospital because Tristan is glaring at me like he wants to stab me.
When I open my mouth to say something to him, my dad shakes his head, so I close my mouth.
I can’t even imagine how Tristan is feeling right now, and I don’t blame him for being pissed at me for hurting Bella and at Bella for hurting him.
This entire situation is a goddamn cluster-fuck of epic proportions.
We get to the first-floor and Tristan walks away without saying a word.
“Now wasn’t the time,” my dad says. “That man spent the last nine months taking responsibility for a baby he knew wasn’t his just for Bella. You need to respect that.”
“I do respect it, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to have another man raise my baby.”
“It was obvious from the get-go Bella and Tristan weren’t really together,” my mom says. “But one day she will be with someone and you will have to accept that.”
The thought of Bella being with someone else, loving someone else, kissing someone else, having sex with someone else, has my fists clenching.
“What’s going through that head of yours?” My dad nods toward my tightened fists.
“Bella and Micaela are mine.”
My dad laughs. “Well then you better get to groveling because I guaran-fucking-tee she wouldn’t agree with that statement.”
I know he’s right. I have my work cut out for me, but I’m not giving up. I’m the one who fucked this all up and now I’m going to make things right.
“What time is it?” I ask.
My mom looks at her watch. “A little after two. Why?”
“We need to go to the baby store. I need to get my condo baby ready. Then I need to go to a meeting.”
My parents give each other a look. “You don’t think maybe you’re jumping the gun, Son?”
“My goal is to have both those girls under my roof, but regardless, Micaela will eventually be under my roof. I’ve messed up, but Bella’s not the type of person to keep her from me.”
And I truly believe that. Bella is one of the best people I know. On top of that, she grew up for the first four years without her dad in her life, and I know she wouldn’t purposely do that to the father of her child.
“Okay then, we have some baby stuff to buy, but Marco, you need to give Bella some time. Don’t push her, because if you do, you just might push her too hard.”
My parents and I spend the afternoon shopping for all things baby.
The store says they can have it delivered tomorrow and have it all set up.
I never realized all the shit babies need.
My mom never had half that shit for my sister Chloe.
It makes me sad to think about how much she was truly neglected, and makes me that much more thankful to Kayla and Bentley for adopting her.
Afterward, my parents go back to my place to relax and shower while I attend my first narcotics anonymous meeting.
It’s held in a church, and I spot my sponsor right away.
I met him a few times while at the facility.
I’m nervous about being here. I know everyone here has been through their own shit, so they won’t be judging me, but sitting here makes it all too real.
For the rest of my life, I’ll be a recovering addict.
I’ll have to work every day to make sure drugs are never part of my life again.
Jay tells me I don’t have to introduce myself if I don’t want to, but I do.
I need to take this shit seriously. This isn’t just my future at stake if I don’t, it’s also Bella’s and Micaela’s.
When the gentleman at the front asks if there’s anyone new joining who would like to introduce themselves, I stand.
“My name is Marco and I’m a recovering addict,” I start.
Everyone says hi, then I continue. “I was in an accident with my best friend. He was left in a coma and I was left injured and in pain. I need to be well to work and the pain got to be too much. I turned to drugs…to pills and eventually coke and heroine to numb the pain. My biological mom was a drug addict who overdosed, and I don’t want to end up like her.
” I sit and the gentleman thanks me, and the meeting continues.
A few people go up to receive their different color key tags to celebrate their different lengths of staying clean. My name is called last and I go up to receive a white key tag. Engraved on it is Welcome. I thank the gentleman, who I learned is named Brad, and have a seat until the meeting ends.
Once I say goodbye to a couple of people who introduced themselves to me after the meeting concluded, and speak with Jay, I head out to meet my parents for dinner.
We spend the time together discussing Bella, my meeting and sponsor, Micaela, and how Mackenzie and Chloe are doing through all this.
I make a note to call them both to speak to them about all of this. They’re both Micaela’s aunts.
After dinner, my parents call it a night. It’s around nine o’clock when my phone rings, an unknown number popping up on the caller ID.
“Hello.”
“Umm…hey…it’s Bella. I wasn’t sure if this was still your number, but I figured I would try.
” She’s rambling nervously and it pulls at my heart strings.
There was a time when Bella wouldn’t have been nervous to call me.
God how I’ve missed this girl. Missed our friendship. “Anyway, I just wanted to thank you—”
“Thank me?” I cut in.
“For giving Micaela your blood. If you wouldn’t have, we would have had to wait. I know her anemia wasn’t life threatening but still…”
“Belles.” I sigh. “You don’t have to thank me.
She’s my daughter too. And even if she wasn’t, she’s yours.
I would do anything for her. I’m just glad I was sober and didn’t have any drugs in my system so I could donate.
If this were three months ago, I wouldn’t have been able to.
” And fuck if that isn’t a shock to my gut, just another reminder what’s at stake by me staying clean.
There’s a pregnant pause and then Bella says, “So you went to rehab.” I think it’s meant to be a question but it comes out as more of a thought.
“I did. I’m ninety-two days sober. I got out yesterday actually. I was planning to come by to talk to you, but then everything happened before I could.”
“I’m glad you got help, Marco.” I can hear the raw emotion in her words and it guts me.
“When I found out the baby was mine, I called my dad.”
“Wait, when you found out—” There’s a loud wail and the phone gets all muffled. “Hey, Marco, I have to go. Micaela is up and needs to be fed. I sent my parents back to their hotel because they were beyond exhausted and my dad has to head back tomorrow with my brother and sister.”
“You’re there by yourself?” I don’t know much about babies, but I can’t imagine just having been sliced open would make it easy to care for a newborn.
“Yeah, the nurses come around.” The baby’s cries get louder. “I gotta go, but I just wanted to say thank you.”
Before I can respond, the line goes dead.
I throw on a pair of basketball shorts, a T-shirt, and slip on a pair of slides, grabbing my keys and cell phone.
I find a piece of paper to leave a note on the counter, letting my parents know I went to the hospital, in case they wake up and I’m not back yet.
Locking the door behind me, I head to the hospital.
As I’m hurrying down the hall, I spot a gift shop and take a detour inside. I noticed when I visited before, all the flowers and balloons filling up her room.
“Can I get a dozen of these balloons blown up?” I ask the lady at the counter.
“Sure.”
Then a thought comes to mind. “Wait! Do you have a permanent marker I can use?” She looks at me confused but hands it to me.
After writing what I need to on each of the balloons, I hand the marker and balloons to her. While she’s filling them up, I spot Bella’s favorite candy on the display rack near the register.
“These too, please.”
Once she’s done blowing up the balloons and ringing me up, I make my way to the Labor and Delivery ward, to the recovery wing.
Because I’m the father, they let me through after I show them my identification.
I open the door slowly in case Bella and Micaela are asleep, but when I walk in, the scene in front of me nearly takes my breath away.
Bella is talking softly to Micaela. She’s holding her close and smiling at her daughter like she hung the moon and if it’s not the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is.
Without her knowing, I pull out my phone and snap a picture to capture the moment.
Only I don’t realize my phone is on loud, so when the picture snaps, it makes a shutter sound.
“What are you doing here?” Bella looks up in surprise.
I walk inside, the balloons bobbing everywhere—getting stuck in the doorway—and Bella gives me a what the fuck look. After finally getting all the balloons into the room, I place them next to her bed. When they float to the ceiling, we both look up.
“I probably should have tied those to something, huh?”
Bella just giggles.
“What do they say?” She tries to read the writing on the balloons, so I grab one and bring it down.
“It’s not a boy?” she questions.
“Yeah, because I know you hate pink and they didn’t have any blue ‘It’s a girl’ balloons.”
She cracks up laughing and fuck if I haven’t missed that sound.
“Umm…you know you could have just crossed out the word boy and wrote girl, right?”
I look up at the balloon. “Well, shit. I guess that would’ve made more sense.” I shrug and she laughs some more.
“Well, I love them. All of them.”
“Yeah, I got a dozen. Figured it would help even out all the pink. It looks like Barbie’s dream prom up in here.”
“Ha! Apparently having a girl means dressing her in all pink. I tried to buy a green onesie once and my mom thought I was crazy and made me put it back.”