Chapter Thirty-One
BELLA
After we finish in the shower, Marco wraps a towel around the both of us and guides me into his room, throwing one of his shirts at me.
“Stay the night with me.”
I agree and pull his shirt on over my body then crawl into his bed, setting the baby monitor on the nightstand.
Marco pulls on a pair of briefs then lies down next to me.
He pulls my body slightly onto his, my head resting on his chest and my legs tangled in his.
Being in Marco’s arms feels good. I lie quietly and think about our past, what we’ve been through to get to this moment.
I think about the promises he made tonight.
About his words. I love you. I think about the future and find myself praying all those words were the beginning of something special. Maybe this time we’ll get it right.
I fall asleep thinking about babies, houses, UFC fights, and I love yous with the hope of forever.
Micaela only wakes up once in the middle of the night to eat.
The older she gets, the longer she goes between feedings.
I feed her, change her diaper, and rock her back to sleep.
I’ve just stepped out of Micaela’s room and I’m heading back toward my room when I see Marco standing in the doorway.
His eyes are hooded, looking only half awake.
“I thought you left.”
“I was feeding Micaela.” Since I prefer to breastfeed when I’m home, I don’t usually wake Marco up when I get up to feed. I only recently moved Micaela to her room and into her crib. Her bassinet was getting to be too small.
Marco grabs my shirt and pulls me to him, kissing me lazily. His lips move from mine and he trails feather-light kisses down my neck, sending shivers down my spine.
“Sleep with me, Belles,” he murmurs. “Sleep in my bed. Let’s make it ours, please.”
“I can’t,” I blurt out without even thinking.
“I can’t make anything ours yet.” I’m suddenly scared.
I went to bed wanting this, hoping for this, but as Marco stands in front of me, asking me in a roundabout way to make us official, I find myself starting to freak out.
I want this—him—too badly. What if he leaves again?
What if he walks away from Micaela and me?
What if he changes his mind? How many times can I pick up the pieces of my broken heart and try to put it back together?
I can’t chance waking up in his bed and him being gone again.
“Because you don’t trust me.” He doesn’t ask because he already knows.
“I’m sorry. I know you made promises tonight, but those are just words. I need to see the actions. The last time I woke up in your bed, you were gone.”
He shakes his head. “No, I get it. We’ll take things slow.”
I give him an appreciative smile and thank him for understanding before going back to my own room.
I lie down on the cold sheets wishing I was lying in another bed wrapped up in the warmth of Marco, but knowing I’m doing the right thing.
If Marco is serious about us, he’ll be there in the morning and every day following until I am ready to turn whatever is his and mine into ours.