Chapter 14 Fearfully
L auren scanned the paper hurriedly, not offering to share the contents until she had reached the bottom of the page. Only then did she hand off the document, divulging all the details except why. Taking a hold of the document, I filtered through the lines until I reached the statement Ms. Debbie had made for means of implementing the restraint, then began to read it aloud.
I never knew that he was so ill-witted until his so-called dark fantasies left the bedroom. Everything started with harmless name-calling, which I had grown accustomed to during sex. However, that was the first red flag, which I somehow chose to suppress or ignore. Next was the slapping, followed shortly by the choking. I always kept quiet because, at first, I thought it was merely foreplay, but eventually I noticed it happening more and more, and then without sex to follow. Then one day, I felt the edge of the situation push too far when he began threatening to kill me. I had told him I was no longer comfortable in our home and that I wanted to go stay with my parents. He said if I ever left, he would track me down and slit my throat. Unfortunately, I believed him, and still do, but then the nightmare I have come to never forget occurred.
Late one night, after arriving home from work, he greeted me at the door. The sweet smile he displayed felt so out of character that I feared something was wrong. Closing and bolting the door, he placed a gun to my temple. I begged him not to harm me or our child. Calmly, he assured me that our son was asleep and, as long as I didn’t yell, he would be fine. Still fearing for our lives, I nodded as though I understood. However, my yells were not the noises I feared, but the loud clap of him slapping me with his free hand while anchoring the gun along my head.
I remained silent for our kid’s sake, never screaming or moaning in pain as he forced his way inside of me.
I paused and looked over to Lauren, who sat curled in a ball, letting tears silently streak her face. She nodded as if to nudge me to keep going. Curious, I continued, but regret soon followed as the next few lines clenched my stomach.
I recall the gruffness in his voice echoing in my ears after he finished. I had grown numb in every other aspect of my body, but the noise stood out because it was enough to wake our son. Seeing him standing motionless along the doorway, I froze in horror. My hope was that, if I didn’t move, perhaps he would assume everything was alright and go back to bed. He didn’t, though. Instead, upon seeing my bruised and battered face, he burst into tears. The scream pierced the night air, causing me to squirm and frighten Russell. Then, before I could react, Russell turned and fired the gun, almost as a reflex. The shot was deadly. There was no denying the blow to his head. I ran to collect him in my arms while Russell yelled, redirecting the blame.
Except for Russell screaming on his way out the door about how he would come back for me, I do not remember much else. Yet, that was the last I saw of him, for now at least.
When I dropped the paper to the ground, my mind envisioned the bloody scene that Ms. Debbie had described, although this vision was not of Ms. Debbie but her younger self, Willow. Accident or not, I knew from her account that she had accepted the blame bestowed upon her. I clasped my fists angerfully, wishing I could have helped.
“Do you suppose he’s still out there?” Lauren whispered.
I discarded my vision, recalling our presence in the backroom. Seeing Lauren shaking in fear, I slid my arm around her shoulders. I had no way of knowing if Ms. Debbie’s husband was still on the loose. The paper was over forty years old and had only broken open the first layer of what we were truly dealing with.
“Perhaps he’s already dead. I would say we could look him up, but Russell Murphy will have a million people tied to any search. Besides, I know Ms. Debbie had lived here for at least ten years, and he never showed up.”
The last of my words seemed to calm Lauren, as I could feel the tension in her muscles relax.
“I guess you’re right.” She sat cuddling against me, considering the situation as a whole, before bringing something else to my attention. “So now what?”
“What do you mean?”
“You found the papers you were looking for, and we now know about Ms. Debbie’s secret life.”
Lauren was mostly right. We had stumbled upon what I had hoped to find, yet inside, the troubling feeling had not subsided. There was more to it than a simple explanation of the past.
“I don’t think that’s it.”
“Oh?”
“Seeing that Ms. Debbie was Willow, at some point she still changed her name. It seems like that was because of her ex-husband or the fame. Many women get divorced, but they don’t change their name multiple times, let alone fake their deaths.”
“That’s true.”
“Also, Willow was a successful author, which means all that money went somewhere and needs to be accounted for.”
“She could have spent it all trying to escape,” Lauren suggested.
“Yeah, but something tells me we are still missing a vital piece of the puzzle. Otherwise, why would Ms. Debbie go through all the effort of keeping boxes of paperwork while hiding the most important one?”
Revisiting my thoughts aloud only assured me that I was right. No one subjected themselves to that kind of trouble without a reason. She had no family left, from what I had read, so maybe she still feared her ex-husband finding her. But was anger his motivation, or was it money?
Pulling the box over to me, I took out the tax papers for the previous year. I had been looped in on all the business decisions, so I was fairly confident that there would be nothing obscure, but there might be something further down the line.
Year after year, the prior filings proved to be in line with what Ms. Debbie and I had discussed. With no money tied to the store, there still was the question of her personal finances, but she had no reason to store any of those documents here.
I sat back on the floor, looking at Lauren as if expecting her to provide the answer, but neither of us said anything. My head fell back along the wall as I stared at the ceiling, wondering if I could even suggest my next thought, but I did not have to.
“Is there any way to get into her house?” It was as though she was reading my mind, but I knew it only meant we were on the same page. “That’s the only place we haven’t looked.”
“I don’t know,” I said, tilting my head toward her. “I kind of doubt it unless we break in.” As the words left my mouth, a mischievous smile was already beginning to form between her cheeks. “No,” I said with firmness in my voice, but Lauren failed to heed.
“Oh, come on. You want to figure this thing out, don’t you? Besides, it might be kind of fun.” She waited for me to cave in, but I was still standing on my objection. However, she still had ammunition for a rebuttal. “And it really would be a good idea.” I furrowed my brows, wondering how breaking and entering into a friend’s house was ever a good idea. “If we are being followed, you already admitted to seeing the SUV outside of the store. We might be safe here, but we aren’t hidden.”
Dang, she had me. Women always knew how to coax me into doing things, but this time, I felt she had good intentions. Looking back at all the instances in which Brooke had instructed me to do something in the bedroom, I knew they had all been lies. She was only trying to cover up the fact that she could not have kids by giving me something I wanted. But Lauren was trying to help me and herself at the same time.
“Alright, but under one condition,” I said, standing up and offering her a hand.
“What is it?”
“You have to tell me something about yourself.”
“Really?”
“I mean, if we end up in jail, we will probably get to know each other a lot quicker anyway.”
“Fine, but only if you do the same... And you have to go first,” she propositioned.
“I can do that. And exactly what would you like to know?”
Without hesitation, Lauren postulated the question as if it had been etched on the tip of her tongue for days. “Why is Ms. Debbie your only friend?”
The layered question cut deep. In fact, it went straight to the bone. At first, I was not sure I could answer without going into an hour-long story that I cared less to tell. But then I gathered the one thought that had followed me the entirety of my adult life. “Do you know how you tend to gravitate toward people that show you attention?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that was Ms. Debbie.”
“That’s it? In all your life, you’ve only had one person show you attention?”
I cleared my throat and mustered the one word I told myself was off limits. “Well, Brooke.”
“I’m sorry,” she retracted. “I only meant, what about your family?”
“My parents were in an accident when I was really young. Luckily, my grandmother was able to raise me, but when I was twenty, she passed away, too. That’s about the time I started dating Brooke. Not long after that I met Ms. Debbie, and almost ten years later, here we are.”
“That’s so sad,” she began. I waved my hand, implying there was no need for sympathy. I had managed my way through those tough times and was stronger because of it. And instead of harping on myself, I was interested in asking Lauren a similar question.
“It’s my turn now.”
“Okay. Go ahead,” she uttered with a deep breath.
“Why are you always here by yourself at exactly four-thirty?”
She closed her eyes, almost reluctant to speak, as if she had been afraid that question would come up. “I guess that’s pretty noticeable when you used to call me... What was it?”
“Four-Thirty Girl.”
She smiled. “I know; I just wanted to hear you say it.” With a sigh, Lauren thought about how she could best explain, and like myself, she seemed to want to skip over any details. “I like to stop by on my way home from work. It’s how I unwind for the day.”
“That’s not so weird. But why do you only stay thirty minutes, and where’s your family?”
“I’m sorry; that’s all the time we have for today,” she said, pulling on my hand as she stood to her feet.
“Oh, come on. You asked me about mine too, so it’s only fair to answer at least that question... Or is it just you?” I asked, considering the tenderness of the subject based on my own situation.
“Pretty much... My parents live out West, and I haven’t seen them in years.”
“Oh, I see. I guess you were right then.”
“About what?” she asked, confused.
“That’s all the time we have for today’s questions.”
Lauren snickered as I echoed the iconic television show voice from the 90s. When she stopped, I leaned in, gliding my lips across hers, then brought her closer and wrapped my arms around her. When I noticed the squeeze of her chest against mine as she relaxed, I felt connected in a deeper sense after starting to open up. Then, as her arms latched around my back and pulled me even closer, I knew she felt the same way.
“To Ms. Debbie’s?” I questioned her as my chin sat perched on top of her head.
“Do we have to go right now?” she whined, implying her desire to remain in our embrace.
“No, we can stay here all night again if you like.”
“That does sound nice,” she suggested before pulling away. “But like you said, I’m right.”
“Unfortunately, I did say that.” Letting her pull away toward the door, I began to follow but stopped short of reaching the desk. “Hang on a second.” Leaving her in the darkness, I disappeared for a minute in the backroom. When I finally reappeared, she awaited an explanation. In one hand I held up the book, and in the other, an umbrella.
“ Now you have one,” she laughed. “And it’s supposed to be sunny.”
“You never know. And besides, it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
Walking toward the door, she continued to laugh and make snide comments about letting us get soaked when I had an umbrella, but the laughter stopped as I paused before walking outside. Placing my head against the glass door, I peered outside for any signs of the SUV.
“What are you doing?”
“Making sure our friend isn’t waiting around for us today. It wouldn’t do much good if we changed locations and they followed us.”
Lauren pulled in her lips, agreeing it was best to be cautious. Joining me, she peered outside, but neither of us spotted anyone suspicious. Considering that I didn’t know who I was looking for but Lauren did, I longed to ask her for more details, but she had already shut that door for the day.
Satisfied we were in the clear, Lauren made her way to the car as I locked the store. When I caught up with her, she was waiting patiently in the passenger seat, leaving me to drive.
“You know where she lives, don’t you?”
“Yeah. It’s not too far away, but I guess it would be easier for me to drive than navigate.”
Settling into what was becoming a familiar seat, I looked at Lauren for assurance that we were in this together. But I only had to look at her soft smile to realize I was willing to trust her. Taking hold of her hand and taking a final look around, I pulled out onto the street. Tracing my eyes between Lauren and the road, I longed for us to share more about our lives. However, I could not help but notice that Lauren was preoccupied, watching to see if we were being followed.