Chapter 3
Lily
M y legs were shaking, and yet I was frozen, staring at the back of Ryan's deranged head. He was deaf to my screams. I had been yelling at him and begging him to stop for the past several minutes. It felt like he had been going on forever. Matt, Ethan, and Eric had tried to grab him, shut him up, pull him the fuck out of the room, but he was immovable.
My mother was shaking like she had wandered onto the snow-covered mountains barefoot, in nothing but a tank top and booty shorts. A nervous breakdown was imminent, and we had just got her back. I wasn't losing her again, damn it. She might be a thorn in my side, ungrateful, and neglectful, but she was also vulnerable. And she was my mom. I had been taking care of her for months, waiting for her to return to us, unsure if she would. All this anger, screaming and shouting, invading her personal space, the insanity, could cause her to run away again.
Enough was enough. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with Ryan. I had been understanding, but you'd think he was the one who was kidnapped with a gun to his head, or his skull that was almost bashed open. This was unacceptable now. I knew he loved me. And I knew he was defending me. But this was not the way.
Stepping forward, I reached up and grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt and pulled him away, out of my mother's personal space. He wheeled around and shrugged me off him. I went flailing backward after catching my heel on someone's boot. Together, Matt, Ethan, and Eric reached in to keep me from landing on my ass. I looked up into his crazed, bloodshot eyes and saw my father.
But he didn't see me. Darkened, glazed-over eyes turned away from mine and back to my mother.
"I'm going to knock him out," Ethan grunted. Eric straightened his shoulders to follow behind. Tears stung my eyes hotter when I reached out to stop them.
"You okay?" Matt asked. His veins were strong in his forehead, cheeks straining against the muscles beneath his skin. Matt's blue eyes searched my face, and I nodded before looking at Ethan and Eric, making sure they didn't start kicking off as well.
"Please." I reached out and grabbed Eric's arm. He took a breath when he saw the worry in my eyes and pulled Ethan away from Ryan.
But Ryan couldn't care less about how I felt right now. Chills left tremors through my body at the thought that Ryan wasn't even here with us anymore. It was like Terry's ghost had consumed him, found a way to terrorize my life even in death.
Okay. I was sounding paranoid now. But where was the Ryan I fell in love with? How could he keep going?
"No," Ryan growled.
He must have been responding to the voices in his head because I knew for damn sure, he wasn't responding to anything we'd said. His shoulders and chest heaved, and he stabbed a finger toward my mother.
"You need to know what kind of a man your precious husband was. I'm not walking on any fucking eggshells around you anymore. Your 'husband'..." He put in air quotes. "...was a little weasel. Do you know that he topped all the bullshit he's ever done to his wife and daughter? The man went out with a bang. Terry Thornbread kidnapped your daughter."
No, no, no. Not this. Don't tell her this. Don't overwhelm her.
My mother shook her head.
Ryan nodded. "Yes. Yes! He did. He kidnapped her. Want to know how he did it?"
My heart was performing open-heart surgery from the inside out with its own little scalpel at this point. I grabbed my chest and looked around at my men at my side.
"Should I call the police?" the nurse asked.
The police? I..uh...
Before I could even make up my mind on whether or not I'd get the police involved, Matt, Ethan, and Ryan fell over themselves to speak first. "No! No. That's not necessary."
They grew tense.
"He bashed her over the head..." Ryan's voice was thick with emotion.
The back of my head where I got hit throbbed, and I reached around and grabbed it with a trembling hand as the memories of my kidnapping came flooding back.
"Lils, you okay?" Eric covered my hand with his, but I fucking lost it.
"Stop! Stop! Can somebody please, get him the fuck out of here!" My throat started to close as Ryan, still deafened to my plea, kept going.
"It took her almost dying for him to take her to the hospital, probably because a dead Lily wouldn't get him what he wanted." Ryan gasped and went silent for a moment.
I was relieved for a few seconds. Until he started again.
I glanced toward the fancy marble vase sitting on the sparkling glass center table that Ethan told me I could get even though it was over a thousand dollars, and I pressed my lips together, fighting the temptation to fucking smash Ryan over the head with it. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this angry.
Balling my fist, I bit down on my rage, the way I taught myself to do whenever Terry pissed me off. Because the last thing I wanted to be was anything like him. But I could feel him now, egging me on, revving me up. Ryan's shouting triggered more than just the memories of my kidnapping. His crass comments, the cruelty with which he used his words, brought me back to the moments I wanted to punch Terry straight in the mouth.
"Get him out of the room. Please. Somebody, get him out." Each word advanced in volume. Two worlds were happening around me. The reality inside my head and the one outside of it, where Ryan was being grabbed by three men and being pulled from the room.