Chapter 52
Lily
S ince when did I just smile for no damn reason? As a matter of fact, when was the last time I didn't wake up with a racing heart and sickness in my stomach? I re-entered the room to gaze upon the reasons. The soft light caressed their skin, and despite the way their mouths hung open in their desperate fight for air, I thought about how beautiful they looked and how much I'd love to paint them. Knowing that they wouldn't stay like this forever, I rummaged through our luggage for a camera and noticed that Ryan didn't carry his, neither did Matt or Eric.
Frowning, I picked up my phone instead and snapped a picture. Pride swelled inside my chest at the thought that they were all mine, and I was inspired to share with the world how lucky I was. So, I snapped a few pictures before pressing record and capturing them and the room. My heart skipped a beat when I thought about Ryan's declaration of love last night. And how he stopped me from making a decision I still hadn't figured out whether it was right or wrong.
It didn't sit right with me that he wasn't included in the pictures or this mini vlog. Sure, that's the reason I'm easing the door open to tip-toe down the hallway toward the living room. Because it doesn't sit right. Not because, despite how well Matt, Eric and Ethan gave me every single inch of them after he sent me away last night and I loved every second of it, none of them could give me him.
Ryan had managed to put his boxers on after last night.
What a shame.
His sleep was not as restful. Each time he tossed and turned, I kept wishing he'd open his eyes, catch me, ask me what I was doing and pull me into his arms, grinning, when he found out I was filming him. He didn't awaken. But there was a moment where his labored breathing slowed into a soft snore and peace settled over him. I snapped the picture while in record mode before he lost that peace again.
Deciding that watching him for this long and filming him while he was unconscious was borderline creepy, I closed the camera app and ventured into the bathroom for a shower before a breakfast that would blow their minds.
Or blow their guts.
Oh, what was I thinking? I wanted to surprise them with a homemade Parisian breakfast, topped off with desserts. Instead, I'd blackened the pastry. Well, at least I could make coffee, there was jam and butter in the fridge, and a half-eaten baguette.
"What's gotten into you?" Eric rumbled when I surprised them in bed with breakfast.
"I can think of a few things." Matt chuckled, reaching up to kiss me good morning. "Though, I was thinking of something else for breakfast."
Ethan grinned and kissed me on the neck before reaching for a slice of baguette with jam. "I'm starving. Thank you, sweetness."
I flushed. I remembered thinking that we'd lost the spark in our relationship. That I'd gotten somehow bored or tired of sex. What the fuck was I thinking? My belly fluttered like it was our first time together from all their attention. It must have been the Parisian air that had gotten us all like this.
"I'm sorry it's not much. I kind of wasted a bunch of ingredients on the pastry." I scrunched my nose.
"Mmm, what's for dessert?" Matt licked some butter off his fingers and my ovaries wept.
"I burnt it." I confessed.
They all grinned.
"That's okay. I'm looking at something even more scrumptious." Matt eased the tray out of his way. I hopped back.
"As much as I would love to, I haven't given Ryan breakfast yet." I laughed.
"Oh." Matt's brows pinched. "I'll do it."
Eric and Ethan stopped munching to look at me.
"No, it's okay. I can do it," I said softly before hurrying out of the room before they could stop me.
The tray shook a little as I made my way back to the living room.
"Ahem." I cleared my throat.
He didn't rouse. My pulse grew louder and I put down the tray before I lost feeling in my fingers. I was starting to think he was right about last night.
"Ryan." His name came out softer than I intended and my skin flushed.
Last night, I saw the Ryan I recognized. But as a recovered addict who wasn't so well adjusted a few years ago, I knew that being startled awake didn't always go down well. Hell, with my recent trauma, being startled awake wasn't pleasant.
My heart was thudding by the time I approached him. As I reached out to touch him, Matt came up behind me, scaring the shit out of me. I yelped. Ryan yelped. And he surprised me with the groggy way he came awake. Relief rushed through me at the lack of wide bloodshot eyes.
I slapped Matt lightly. "Damn it, Matt."
"I just wanted to make sure you were getting on okay." He flashed a look at Ryan.
"I was handling it," I said through clenched teeth.
"Yeah, well, I'll always be here to protect you." He rested his hand on the small of my back.
Ryan squinted his eyes at us and rubbed his chest as he rose. "Morning."
That gravelly voice sent shockwaves through my body. Yes, I was still attracted to him and yes, I still loved him. But last night would have been a mistake. I still didn't trust him. My heart kind of broke at that.
"I was bringing you breakfast." I swallowed before giving Matt a half smile and hurrying out of the room.
Needing a distraction from that realization, and a moment to myself, I went into the empty room of the Airbnb that hadn't been used. I didn't know why Ryan didn't just sleep there. Though, his suggestion last night that he should be at another hotel gave me a clue why. I brought out my laptop and opened the video calling app.
The last time it was used was when I was checking in on my mother, from the nurse, who said she was giving her hell. That was so long ago, I itched to call her now to find out how she was doing. But I really didn't want to hear her in the background shouting at me for being an idiot to trust my men.
Recovering the photos and videos in the drive instead, I set about editing my very first vlog. Excitement coursed through me as I thought about surprising Matt and Eric. I went back on to their channels to check out their editing styles to add an extra touch and found videos of Eric with his ex and the comments praising them as the one true pairing. Hm. I didn't care how badly edited my video was, I was definitely posting it now.
Fire in my veins, I didn't hear when Ethan entered and I jumped when his lips touched my neck.
"Ooh, what are you working on so diligently?" He peered in and I snapped the laptop shut.
"It's a surprise." I grinned, deciding that I could use a break. Well, the grumbling in my stomach decided that for me. There wasn't much baguette left and I was looking forward to the pastry I spoiled, so I didn't have anything to eat.
"Well, okay, damn." He laughed.
"Can we go get breakfast? I didn't eat." I flushed.
His mouth fell open. "What?! Why did you give us..."
I kissed him to shut him up before he could give me a lecture on why I should have put myself first.
Knowing why I kissed him, his eyes squinted in playfulness before he said, "Well, how do you feel about breakfast at the Eiffel Tower before booking into the most romantic hotel near to it?"
My eyes lit up. "Why?"
"I just think it's time we take Paris by storm." He kissed me.
"Well, to that, I say yes!" I looped my arms around his neck.
Matt
"You know, you don't have to hover over her anytime she's near me?" Ryan took a bite of his buttered baguette. He brought his eyes up to mine. "But I get it. I respect it." He took a sip of his coffee. "So, you gonna join me for breakfast?"
"What happened between the two of you last night?" With the way his eyes followed her out of the room, I dropped my brows and narrowed my eyes.
"Nothing. We just talked." He took a sip of his coffee.
"You didn't say anything that would upset her, did you?" I asked.
"Why?" Ryan put the cup back down to turn to me, brows lifted. "Did she seem upset when she came back to the room last night?"
"No." I cleared my throat. "She was horny as hell, and generous too. Even...called your name a couple of times. Did you?"
He smiled and swallowed, turning his head back to another buttered slice of baguette. I slipped in beside him to take him up on his offer and swiped the ones with jam, because I was sure Ethan and Eric had already inhaled the rest.
"No. Well, not really. We didn't." He cleared his throat and licked his fingers, his tongue reminding me of what it was doing to my ass yesterday.
"Good." I looked away. "What did you guys talk about?"
"Me and you. Me and her. Me and my drinking." He tilted his head.
Now that he'd mentioned it. "You don't stink of alcohol," I gasped.
Ryan grinned. "She reacted the same. I wish I could say it felt great, but well." He shrugged. "I went for a walk and stuff. I think I might start doing that again, even if walking past the bars and restaurants was nerve-wracking. Still, I'm doing this for Lily. For me and her."
"And what about your photography?" I asked.
"Yeah. It could be a good distraction." He nodded.
"And you can join me on my hikes again, meaning you bring your camera and lag behind," I teased.
"I think I forgot my camera," Ryan hissed. "It's fine. I'll use my phone." He shook his head and rapped a soft beat on the coffee table with his fingers. "She did ask if her attempt to fix our friendship worked. The last time we spoke, you said you still hadn't forgiven me. Is that still the case?"
He waited. I studied him.
With a pat on the shoulder, I sighed. "I'm proud of you. But I'm still keeping an eye on you."
"Yeah?" He leaned back with a lazy smile and spread his legs. "Because you want to see if I fuck up again, or because you want me back between those cheeks?"
"Ugh." I grimaced. We had only started having sex again because of Lily. I didn't know if it would be the same without her. Though, I was sure he got lonely.
He chuckled. "You know, I was telling her that I should get a separate hotel, if things are too weird for her."
"Yeah, well, Ethan and Eric won't allow that." I pressed my lips together and tilted my head at him.
"That's right. I won't," Ethan entered the room. "I've booked us a luxury hotel in the 7th arrondissement. You're coming with us. And Matt, if you don't mind, you can stay with him."
Ryan glared at him. "Matt doesn't need to babysit me."
"Doesn't he?" Ethan fired back.
"Maybe I am tired of babysitting. Besides, he doesn't need a babysitter, he's a grown man who needs..." I stopped myself to look at him, re-examining my words. "Is doing his best to take care of his own needs."
"Well, a bodyguard then," Ethan doubled down.
I took a look at Ryan who looked at me from head to toe. His lips kicked up at the sides. "Don't even think about saying anything about my skinny arms. I could be a bodyguard if I wanted to."
"Well, it's decided then." Ethan turned away.
"Woah, woah! Where are you going? What about you and Eric? You're both built for it anyway." I flashed my eyes at him.
"Oh, stop pretending as if you wouldn't be happy as hell to share a room with him. I saw the way you were looking at him the other night. It's the same way you used to look at him when you were all in love and shit," Ethan jested.
"Shut up," I ground out.
"I saw it too," Ryan joined in.
"Oh, I'm glad you guys are finally agreeing on something, even if it's because you love fucking with me," I raised my voice.
"Who's fucking with who?" Eric entered the room right as I caught Ryan mumbling an 'I love fucking you.'
Excuse me?
"Nobody. I was saying that if you want to keep an eye on Ryan, one of you guys should do it since you're both more physically equipped to be bodyguards. Plus it would help repair your friendship," I talked over Ethan.
"And I was saying that the best person should be you, since you've probably fantasized about being his bodyguard," Ethan fired back.
"May I remind everyone that I don't need a babysitter or a bodyguard?" Ryan chuckled. "Though I wouldn't be against the idea if Matt wanted to spend a few nights. Sleeping alone and pining after the woman you love can grow tiresome."
"Oh, great. So I'd be second best?" I found myself saying. We all looked at each other in agreement. "I mean, I get it. You're second best to Lily too."
"What's going on?" Lily came out.
Ryan sobered up. Ethan cleared his throat. Eric grinned. My lips shook.
"Ryan has been saying how much of a punishment it is, being without you, which he deserves," Eric started.
"Of course," Ryan nodded, taking a deep breath.
"And they were arguing over who should stay with him in his room to keep an eye on him. We all agreed it should be Matt," Eric finished.
"Okay?" She smiled. "So what's this whole second-best thing?"
Ethan scratched the side of his head. "You know, because they're exes and they share a special type of friendship."
"Okay, but we wouldn't do anything with each other without you in the room. It's only to please you," I rushed.
"Is it?" Lily frowned. "Well, that's no fun. You don't need my permission to fuck each other." She let the last three words roll off her tongue in a silky way that made me ravenous. Lily started walking toward me. "I want him to suffer a little bit." She turned to look at Ryan. "But not all the way. And when you're done, you can tell me all about it while you finger me." Her kiss made me melt and everyone else in the room disappeared.
"No, no. Not now. We have a breakfast reservation on the Eiffel Tower," Ethan moved in to separate us.
Ryan adjusted himself. Still in his boxers, I could see his arousal and his eyes saw no one else but her. Ethan kissed her neck and groaned.
Eric stroked his chest. "Yeah. We'll be late. And you said you were hungry."
"I did say that," Lily nodded, her stomach agreeing with her. "Film it so I can watch it later." She winked at me and smiled at Ryan before leaving the room.
"Right. So I guess it's decided then," Ethan grinned, hurrying after her.
"Sure we can't just fit a quickie in?" Eric checked the time on his phone.
"A quickie with the three of us? Yeah, right." Ethan blew air through his teeth.
"You're right. Well, guess it'll just have to be one of us, then." Eric took off ahead of him.
"Not if I make it to her first!" Ethan sped ahead.
"Lily! Make room for me in the shower!" Eric yelled.
"I've already showered!" She yelled back.
They both groaned, bumping into each other in the hallway while Ryan and I grinned.
Swallowing hard, I faced him. "You know I didn't agree to staying with you. Plus I meant what I said, you're a grown man. You'll have to be trusted to be left on your own without us worrying about what you're going to do next."
"Yes. I know," he sighed with his hands on his knees as he brought himself to his feet. "And I'm working on proving myself to you all again. But I wouldn't mind the company." He moved behind me and allowed his hardness to brush against me.
I fought not to bite my lip. "Cocky thinking that I would. As I said, we only fuck for Lily's pleasure." My breath hitched, so I had to cough to unblock my airway.
"Me too. And yours. And mine. Down to film it for her?" He smiled against my neck. I knew he did, because his low gravelly voice heckled me even though his lips didn't touch my skin. Then he pulled away and grinned. Devil. "Stop fighting it. You know you're in love with me." He slapped my ass before strolling his cocky ass to the bathroom.
Rolling my eyes, I slipped out for a quick run to the shops. Ethan wasn't the only one in a gift-giving mood. There was a time Ryan used to photograph me while fucking me and I knew Lily would eat that up, painting the images that might flood her soon, if I agreed to staying in Ryan's room. She'd need a whole new set of paint to get through them all, and well, Ryan would need a new camera.