Chapter 11
Ryan
W e were all left gawping at Tyler after he was done explaining his idea of a plan to us.
"If we're going to be working together on this, it's only fair that there's full transparency. That I can trust you and you can trust me," he said.
I had the urge to ask what would happen if we broke that trust, but I feared it wouldn't end well for any of us. The man had just opened up and told us all his secrets. I never do background checks on my clients, so I can't be sure who I'm working with, but I wouldn't have guessed that Ann-Marie was marrying a former mob boss. This was insane. If I'd known that, I wouldn't have taken the job. I don't like to get mixed up in stuff like that, regardless of how much money is involved. But if I hadn't taken the job, I wouldn't have met Lily.
Oh, this was bad.
Let's not get it twisted, I'll do anything to save Lily. And in theory, I've been angry enough to kill the bastards who took her, but that's just in theory. All I want is for her to be safe. If I were standing in front of the assholes who took her, well...okay, I'd lose my shit. Let's not front. But kill? I ain't never killed nobody before. I can't think about putting that theory into practice. But here we all were, sitting with a man who had drained the blood of countless others without a thought. That man was sitting in our living room, a wolf in hiding, the husband of Lily's best friend and he was offering to help us find her.
"What's in it for you?" I heard myself saying.
"Excuse me?" He broke the conversation he was having with the rest of the equally spooked guys.
I swallowed. That question was supposed to be an inside thought, but it was out now. "Why are you doing this?" I rephrased.
"For my wife." He answered with a sort of nonchalance as if I'd asked him to solve one plus one.
Looking at the other guys, the redness in their skin gave away their discomfort. Since I'm darker, my discomfort isn't as easily read, unless you count the crack in my voice, the shaking of my leg and my lack of eye contact. I remained unconvinced of his answer. All the movies and stories I've read have told me that it can't be this easy. You don't decide to jump in bed with a mob boss and not expect a catch. Former mob boss, I corrected myself inside my head. Former, not former, it's all tomato, tom-ah-to at this point.
"Yeah, but what's in it for you?" Eric repeated my earlier question, taking time with his words and I breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn't letting it go.
Tyler didn't answer. He looked at us in silence and that was even worse. I preferred him when he was speaking.
"I think what my friends are asking is..." Ethan cleared his throat and squirmed a little bit. "...What will you be expecting in return?"
"Yeah." I nodded, hoping he'd be encouraged to speak. It was a rephrasing of the same question and he hadn't answered either of the prior ones. My belly was twisted up in knots, but I wasn't going to talk myself out of accepting his offer. His help was the only thing available to us at the moment.
"Your type doesn't do anything for free." I added for good measure.
He chuckled. "I think you're forgetting the 'former' here."
Of course, I hadn't. But as I said, tomato, to-mah-to. You don't just stop being vicious once you leave that life behind. I think his laughing was meant to put us at ease, but it was failing. My hair was standing on edge, alert at the sound of it. It was the same laugh he'd had since I met him, but I didn't know anything about him then. When someone tells you that they're a murderer, it changes the way you look at them.
He stopped laughing when he noticed that none of us were laughing with him.
"Okay." He exhaled. "I guess you have no reason to trust me. And I can walk out of that door and pretend this conversation never happened. But just like I imagine all of you love Lily, I love my wife more than anything in this world. Even if you refuse to work with me, I'd still go and look for Lily. For her. Because I'd do anything for her. Now, all I'm offering is my help in finding Lily. Violence doesn't have to be a part of the deal.
But I know that if that was my wife who was missing, there would be no holding me back. Anyway, let me answer your question again. The only thing that's in it for me is my wife's happiness. Yes, it can be that simple. I don't want anything from you in return because I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for her. You understand me? I'm only here as a gesture and because I figured you'd want to be a part of finding your woman."
He looked at all of us, one by one and shook his head.
"What?" Matt crooked his brow at him.
He released a breath and chuckled once more. "It's just...I can't understand the whole four men and one woman thing. If another man even looked at my woman, I'd kill them. You must not love her that much which explains why you're second-guessing working with me." He got up to leave.
That's when I saw red. "Yeah, well, we're different." I faced him. As in, you're a murderer. We're not. You're probably possessive, we're not. Teaming up with you would be like making a deal with the devil. We tend to stay away from the devil.
"Yeah, we are." Eric backed me up. "But there's one thing we have in common. We all know what it's like to love one woman, to move the ends of the earth for her. So..." He took a deep breath. "We're in."
Me, Matt and Ethan flashed Eric an initial look. We are? Tyler looked at us with the same question on his face. Did we really want to team up with someone with dangerous ties who could end up endangering all of our lives, including Lily's in the long run? But with all things considered, and our options limited, we exchanged a nod of commitment.
"So, what now?" I asked.
Eric
"What are we doing, Eric?" Ryan groaned, rubbing his temples.
"Whatever we can to get Lily back," I responded. But even on my way over to Terry Thornbread's house, I was doubting whether or not working with Tyler was a good idea. I mean, I was glad we could locate both Terry and Marco. By sunrise, he'd shown up with her father's addresses. The man was able to find anyone. It was hella creepy. I was left thinking that it'd be a good idea to have some protection after all.
So I stopped to purchase a phone, had Ryan send me a picture of Lily and texted my parents, letting them know that I lost the information. I hated to get them directly involved and I hated myself for asking them to send that picture of Lily to their contacts, but I was out of my depth here. Working with Tyler could blow up in our faces. Besides, the more eyes out there searching for Lily, the better. To think I almost lost my life fighting with Matt on this and here I was, asking my parents for more help. How selfish was I?
I expected a frantic call from my parents with them freaking out, and me being filled with regret, but instead I got a short, reassuring text back. ' Don't worry. We'll handle it.'
There was no time to ponder what they meant as Ryan parked outside Terry Thornbread's house, or at least his girlfriend's. The wrinkle of worry that marred Ryan's forehead dissipated as his jaw set. He was getting out of the car and I was right behind him. His fury lit up my own.
"What are we gonna do? We have to think about this," I said as his fists banged on the front door as if he was going to break it down.
He didn't answer me and the longer he knocked without anyone coming to the door, the more hot air rose inside me. Ryan was fidgeting so much, he was like a rocket vibrating just before take-off. Any more delay and he'd be breaking the door off its hinges. At this point, I'd let him. Fuck the police. But we were saved from a breaking and entering charge when the door flew open.
"Yes?" An overweight woman with straight blond stringy hair frowned at us from the door.
"Where's Terry?" Ryan spat. I pulled him back as he stepped toward her.
She folded her arms across her braless bosoms resting on her stomach. "You the cops?" she asked.
"Why?" I narrowed my eyes at her, straightening myself up. The adrenaline and painkillers did the job of taking the pain away from my bruised ribs. "Are you expecting the cops?"
"Who the hell are you?" She scowled, deciding that we didn't pass for cops after her once over.
"We're friends of Lily," I said.
She turned up her nose as if she was walking past a piss-filled sidewalk. "Okay?" She rolled her neck.
"Is she here?" Ryan lost his patience and stepped to her again, challenging her with eyes of smoke and fire.
She gulped, but to her credit, she didn't move. "Why the hell would that bitch be here?"
Ryan hissed and we exchanged a glance. We'd never hit a woman but there were no ifs, buts or maybes about us wanting to knock her the fuck out. Instead, we pushed past her into the house. We weren't tough enforcers of any sort. We were the free spirit, go with the flow type, usually. But not when it came to Lily's life, I surprised myself.
I didn't know I had it in me as she screamed at us. "Hey, get the fuck out or I'll call the cops!" she yelled.
I spun around and pinned her to the wall with my eyes. "You do that and it'll be the last fucking thing you do."
Even I reeled back from my own words. I was grateful she didn't catch on to my shock or she'd be able to tell that I was all bark and no bite. Still, where the hell did that come from?
Lily had been good about keeping my anger in check, and I was only ever angry when it came to defending her. Growing up with military parents, I had known I was protected in a subconscious way. I didn't get in a lot of fights, if any at all. As I said, I sailed with the wind. The only times I had been angry to the point of doing damage had been the two encounters with Lily's father and since Lily had been taken. You never know what you're capable of until you're put in a life-threatening position.
Being in this house, where he lived, where there were ashtrays filled with the butts of cigarettes and gray ash, as well as empty alcohol bottles everywhere we went, I got a flashback to all the conversations I had with Lily growing up. Again, I was standing in the doorway with him threatening her life. I got a clear picture of the chaos Lily grew up in and the hairs on my skin stood on end like a sensor, being this close to his essence. I wanted to get my hands on him so bad.
Ryan banged open doors and stomped on floors to see if any of them would give way and we both met eyes with each other when we'd figured out that we'd terrorized this woman's home for no reason. There was no trace of Lily.
Doesn't mean he's innocent, I reconciled as we marched back out of her house with a throwaway over my shoulder. "Tell Terry Thornbread we're looking for him."
"Think she'll call the cops?" Ryan's breath rushed out of him. It was as if stepping out of the house had released him of the trance he'd fallen into, acting without thinking, picking up on the scent of Terry and losing his mind like a wild animal.
"I don't know, but she doesn't know who the fuck we are. We better get out of here," I said.
We didn't waste time jumping into the car and speeding off.
"I don't regret it." Ryan breathed. "Even if he's not guilty, he had that coming. It felt good. For Lily."
"Yeah." I agreed. "But just because she wasn't there, it doesn't mean he's innocent." All we did was ransack his house, but it was still a rush of relief.
"You still think he might be guilty?" Ryan asked.
"I need to look into his eyes. Get my hands on him." I grumbled, because Ryan was right, even if he wasn't guilty, I'd wanted to lay into him from the minute I laid eyes on him, and I didn't know whether or not I was going or coming at the moment. All I knew was Lily wasn't here, I needed someone to release my anger on and he was the perfect candidate.
"So on to his job, then?" Ryan said.
I nodded, looking at the other address Tyler got for us. With Tyler fighting alongside us, I was given permission to hunt for blood. Every part of me that had been locked away in a tightly controlled box was running rampant and until Lily was safe and back in my arms again, and I was able to let her smile settle the demons her going missing had awakened, I wouldn't be reunited with myself, the person she knew and loved. Because this 'me' would terrify her. In fact, once she was back, she could never know this part of me existed, or I might lose her again.