Chapter 10
Lily
M y neck hurt from keeping it so damn straight for so long. I'm aware of Eric; pretending I'm not is a battle. As everyone headed toward the garden terrace for the reception, I thought up an excuse. I wouldn't be getting that photographer's number after all, but that's all right. I'm ready to go.
"Hey, Ann. I think I'm just going to head out now. You don't mind, do you?" I asked.
"Of course I do! What's the matter?" Her eyes widened, and her brows fell. She looked at me like a puppy as she took my hand in hers. I already regretted asking to leave.
"It's my mom," I stuttered. "I know how much work she can be, and I told them I'd be..." I rambled.
"You know what your problem is, Lily?" She shut me up. "You don't know how to take time for yourself. The shelter agreed to keep her. Video call them if you have to, and if everything's going to shit over there, then I won't keep you. But I'd really like you to stay."
Oof. How could I say no to that? I was being a little bitch, making her wedding about me and my discomfort. So what if Eric had popped up out of the blue? It didn't have a damn thing to do with me. "You're right." I smiled. "I'll just check in." Pulling my phone out, I tilted my head toward a corner.
She smiled and kissed my cheek before mingling with the other guests. My stomach turned at the sight of Eric and his friends laughing and drinking champagne as the small group of people surrounding them laughed at everything they said. I was more disgusted by the fact I wasn't disgusted at all, that the easy way in which he charmed people took me back to high school and how much I had admired him for it. What made it worse was I could easily be charmed by him again if I let myself be vulnerable. Fool me twice.
Turning away from them, I called in to the shelter. Of course, everything was going as best as could be expected. The volunteers encouraged me not to worry about my mother and have some fun. Soft music filled up the transparent-roofed terrace with floral accents. It was one of those romantic songs that makes you sick to your stomach. People cheered, and I turned around to see Ann-Marie and her new husband take to the floor. I focused on her flushed cheeks and twinkling eyes as she smiled up at him. A tear ran down my cheek as I wrestled with the fear deep within me, the creeping anxiety that screamed at me that she might be in danger. I've never lived a day without that voice. It's persistent, but I tried, for Ann-Marie's sake, to tune into her joy.
As a server passed by with a tray of champagne, I eyed the glasses with longing. Between pretending that Eric wasn't here, fighting the demons of my past that festered into biases, and struggling to hang on to the hope I had for my friend, I was spent. A drink would help if I weren't a recovering addict.
Taking a seat, I focused on my grounding exercises and counted my breaths. I was too aware of the room, so aware that I was no longer in it as the music changed to something funky. On the dance floor, Eric and his friends took center stage again. I rolled my eyes, grabbing an orange juice when the server passed by once more. That's the thing with Eric; he's not the kind of person who is 'invisible.' He's impossible to ignore. If he's not making an ass of himself, he's making everyone swoon. His friends are just like him.
Searching the room for the photographer, in need of a major distraction, I found that he's still on the job, which was just as well. I'm not that pumped about hooking up with anybody at the moment, anyway. I just wanted to get through the day, be here for my friend, and leave without having to share a word with Eric.
"Lilyyyy," Ann-Marie sang, parting the crowd of people standing before me. She pulled me up off my seat and onto the dance floor. She danced off-beat to the music, and I'm lucky if I even find the beat in the first place. "I know a wedding is probably a nightmare for you." She took my hands. "I know you'd rather be anywhere else." She grinned. "That's why it means so much that you'd show up for me. I love you. You know that, right?"
As I'm about to answer her, she twirled me. My shoulder cracked. It's so awkward, I burst out laughing. We hugged each other as the music changed into a slow dance.
"May I cut in?" A heavy voice cut through the tranquility of our embrace. This brief hug was the first time I took a natural breath in over an hour, and I tried not to bristle at the irony that someone of the male species ruined it.
Thinking it's her husband, I smiled and stepped out of the way. But instead of moving toward the person, Ann-Marie walked away. With my heartbeat drowning out the chords of the slow song, I turned to look up into the eyes of none other than Eric.