Chapter 49
Ethan
D amn it, I couldn't sit there and do nothing. I couldn't listen to him talk to her like that. Threaten her. It was like leaving her to the wolf and watching it rip her to shreds. I couldn't fucking do this. I find solutions, that's what I do. I needed to do something.
She was more than just Eric's lover, more than a friend, more than even my lover. She echoed a part of my soul. We didn't have to exchange words for me to understand her. I didn't have to look at her to know she was trembling all the way down to her toes, that she was experiencing flashback after flashback, fighting through her sense of hopelessness, hoping for a solution.
And no, I wasn't projecting. It wasn't because I was also experiencing flashbacks, being reduced to a fearful, helpless kid. It wasn't because I was angry that I was being forced into hiding in a corner until the big bad wolf left. It was because I'd known Lily for a month, and I'd witnessed the damage that piece of shit did to her, influencing the way she viewed men and what she thought she deserved.
I'd been there as the barriers broke down and she let herself be brave enough to let us all in. I'd watched how the simplest gesture, the bare minimum acts of kindness stunned her. And I'd known since watching her speak at the Women's Shelter, that I'd protect her until my dying day. Except, I was failing, standing there like a simpleton when I had resources available to me. Violence wasn't the only answer, but I agreed with the guys, paying him off wasn't a solution either.
Shaking against the wall, my fists clenched and unclenched. I wracked my brain and as soon as the answer became clear, my feet led me into the living room.
"I've got it!" My heart expanded, and I was able to breathe.
Lily jumped up from her seat and glared at me, silently scolding me for disobeying her request. I ignored her father's stare and hurried over to her, taking her hands in mine. The gentle gesture relaxed her once she realized that I wasn't storming in for another testosterone match. As I assumed, her hands were trembling, and I brought them to my lips as the other guys rushed in behind me.
The answer was so clear, I wasn't sure why it wasn't the first thing I thought of. "Move in with us," I said. Her mouth dropped open. "Well, we'd have to find a proper house first and leave that Airbnb." I looked around at the other guys.
"Yeah. Of course," Eric agreed, and the others nodded.
She stared at me and back at the four guys, her mouth forming words but no sound leaving her lips.
"I know it's a lot," I continued. "But you don't need this shit. I can find a large-enough house for us to all have our own space when we need it. I've been getting tired of living on my own anyway. Why do you think I'm always with these morons?" I grinned.
" We can find a big-enough place," Matt chipped in. "You'll never want for anything. Shit. Even if you're pissed at us and don't want to see us for days at a time, you'll never have to. It's sorted. Say yes."
Her father released a long, low whistle. "Well, shit, you must be swimming in money."
"Shut the fuck up," Matt and I fired back at him.
"Well, damn. What do you say, Lily?" Ryan grinned.
Leave this piece of shit to the parasite."
Her lips trembled as she picked her mouth up from the ground. "But my mom..." she started.
I dropped my brows. "Come on, Lily. Of course the offer includes her. I wouldn't have it any other way."
"You all want to live with me?" She gasped, her eyes widening.
The guys stepped forward. Eric hugged her from the back, Ryan brushed a brief kiss across her lips, and Matt kissed her cheek.
"You kidding me? It'd be a dream come true." Eric nuzzled her neck, and she smiled from the tickle of his beard.
"So, it's decided then? The answer is yes?" I looked over her shoulders at her father, ready to tell him to burn in hell and take her and her mother back to the Airbnb tonight until we found somewhere big enough for all of us.
But she pulled her hands from mine and tugged Eric's hand from around her waist, stepping out from the collective embrace. The smile fell away and made way for forehead creases and pale cheeks. I could see her preparing herself to say no, and I cut her off before she could speak.
"Okay. Okay. I know I'm probably getting ahead of myself here. I mean, of course you're not sure. Maybe asking you to move in with all of us so soon is too much. What if I just get you an apartment?" I rambled in desperation.
Her eyes grew even wider, and she stepped into me, grabbing my arm and lowering her voice to a whisper. "I can't accept that." She gasped. "You guys have already done too much for me."
"Lily," I hissed. "Stop being stubborn. Let me help you."
Lily
His offer was tempting. More so, the part about moving in with them. Of course it's too soon. I'm flattered, sure. But we don't all know each other well enough yet.
They've been generous from the start; I don't know why I'm surprised. The sex was amazing, but good enough to begin our lives together as a five-some?
Their offer comes from pity, like all their offers so far. That's all I've been since they met me, one big charity case. A pitiful being whose life is in desperate and constant need of repair. This isn't romantic. Soon, it'll get tiresome, and when the sex isn't so new and exciting anymore, they'll realize they made a mistake. They're thinking with their dicks and their big, stupid generous hearts.
It's nothing for them to offer money. If things don't work out between us, they'll be fine. But where will I be? Left with nothing because I let myself rely on them. No, this is all moving too fast with them. It's supposed to be fun, but how can it be fun if they're constantly saving me? I'm not even sure I want to move in with Eric yet, let alone everyone else.
I don't want them to view me as a burden . My chest tightened at the thought, and I almost choked on my breath, searching for a reasonable way to reject their offer, even if they're offering me the only security I have left.
"It's the principle," I sputtered. "I can't just leave the house to him. It's not his. He's taken enough from my mother already. This is all she has left; he's not taking this too." I spun around, rage deepening my voice as I spat fire at Terri Thornbread. "You have to leave!"
"Fuuuuuck!" He jumped up from the sofa. "Your voice, it just goes and goes and never shuts up! You keep saying the same old shit, you and your bitch-ass men. I'"I'd rather fucking walk into a truck than stay in this dump, anyway!" He storms toward the door, and I froze in disbelief.
"You're leaving?" I gasped, wondering how on earth that happened so fucking easily.
"Yeah. I'm fucking leaving. I'd rather beg my missus to take me back and put up with her mouth than stay here. At least she gives me some pussy every now and then. Fuck!" He slammed the door, and I remained unable to move.
That was too easy.
"Well, shit. All bark, no bite. Guess he wised up and saw that he didn't stand a chance against all of us." Matt exhaled.
My chest hurt from the force of my heartbeat.
"Yeah, well, just to be on the safe side, maybe you should stay at the Airbnb for the night, just to make sure he doesn't come back and try anything." Ryan rubbed my arm as Eric led me to the sofa to sit. The cigarette smoke still lingered, and I hated that he'd ruined this couch for me.
"You're shaking, Lily. Say something." Ethan crouched before me.
My shoulders fell forward with heaviness and from nowhere, a spring of tears rushed down my face. He still had access to this house and access to my freedom. I could only hope he meant what he said and stayed away for as long as possible. Until when though?
"I need to change the locks." That's all I managed to say.
"Lily," Ethan hissed. "So I'm guessing that's a no on the apartment and moving in with us? Or at the very least staying the night at our Airbnb?"
"Don't push it." Eric raised his hand, gesturing to his friend. "We'll call a locksmith first thing tomorrow morning. But for tonight, why don't we get the security cameras up and running and connect them to all our devices, so we can all be alert, huh?"
I gasped and turned around. As if reading my thoughts, he continued, "Don't worry. I'm not leaving you alone in the house with that unpredictable psycho running around."
"Yeah, me too," Ryan and Matt chimed in.
Ethan stared at me with tight lips before letting a breath escape him. "I still think you should consider leaving the house..." He paused. "But I guess if you won't, I have no choice but to stay."
"I agree with Ethan though. Eventually, you're going to have to consider a longer-term solution. This man knows where you live. Even if you change the locks..." Matt started.
"Not tonight." Ryan shook his head at Matt, who nodded his understanding.
"Right. I'm sorry." Bringing his hands together into a soft clap, Matt tried to infuse some lightheartedness. "Don't worry. It's not like we have anywhere to be. Right, guys? We'll stay here with you as long as you need us to," he said, though his face told me he'd rather not spend any length of time cramped together in this small house.
It's the first time I've seen his 'rich side' on show. It almost made me laugh through the tears. I was about to tell him it was okay, he could go back to the Airbnb if he wanted. They didn't have to sacrifice their comfort for me, but Ryan interjected first.
"Actually..." He scratched the back of his neck. "There's something I need to tell you."
He hesitated, and the fear in his voice freaked me out. "What is it? Spit it out," I said.
"On my way over here, I got a reminder about a job that's been in the works for six months now. I forgot all about it. But I can..." Ryan said.
"Ah, shit. Not you, too." Eric groaned behind me.
"What is it? Don't tell me you have surfing lessons to attend to." Ryan grunted.
Eric glared at him before addressing the rest of us. "It's my parents. They're not doing well. Their nurse is asking me to come see them."
"What? Eric? Why didn't you say something?" I spun around to grab his hands and cradle his face.
"I got the news tonight," he said.
"I'm sorry, man. I didn't know." Ryan softened.
"Yeah, you keep putting your foot in it as of late as if you're in competition with us for Lily." Matt cast him a disapproving look.
Ryan cleared his throat. "I guess I can cancel..."
"No." I shut him up. "You're both going. I won't have you neglecting your responsibilities and the people in your life." Just because I can't get my shit together, I finished in my head.
"Yeah," Ethan agreed. "Besides, as Matt says, it's not like the both of us have anything going on. We can afford to stay back here with Lily. It'll give us time to bond closer since you two are always taking her attention away," Ethan joked. "Hey, give your parents my best, will you? When are you leaving?"
"I was hoping to go by the end of the week?" Eric checked in with me.
"Babe, go. I'm so sorry I can't come with you. Give them my best wishes as well?" I stroked his cheek.
He kissed my palm. "You sure you'll be okay?"
I hated that he didn't know how much I cared about him and the people who mattered to him. I hated that he thought his world had to revolve around me and me alone. And I thought it had to do with more than our scare tonight. Over a decade ago, he had left my life, into the dark abyss, without a word. And I had made him pay for that, without considering why he might have chosen to do it that way.
Within the first couple of weeks, I would've feared him leaving again; I hadn't allowed myself to hope for anything long term. We're both adults now, and I'm assured that he loves me as much as he says. I know our communication is stronger, and I don't doubt that as long as it is within both of our control, we'll see each other again. Soon, too. We'll figure it out. Even if I have to travel with my mother across the country or hire a short-term nurse while I look for him and actually meet his parents this time, we'll make it work. Because we love each other.
"Of course. After all, I'm in good hands." I smiled at Matt and Ethan. "Right now, you should be thinking about your parents. And you, Ryan, should stop sulking and look forward to Hawaii. Are you kidding me? I'm jealous."
"Maybe one day you can come with me?" Ryan asked.
"I'd love that. But now, what I'd love most is some sleep. My head is banging." I stood. When they all hesitated to follow me, I turned on my heels to face them. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come to bed."
"Uhhh..." They jumped up, sure, but they all looked at each other, addressing the elephant in the room.
"No sexy time." I smiled. "You guys have worked me out. Plus, with Terri showing up..."
I didn't have to finish my thought, they understood. That's not what they're concerned about. They're worried about who's going to sleep where, and the look on their faces, nervous to ask the question, made me laugh aloud.
"Well, two of you can share my bed if you don't mind squeezing together. Two can sleep in the guest bedroom if that's all right with you. The bed isn't much bigger than mine, but..." I started.
Before I could continue, Eric and Ryan volunteered to share my bed.
"Ah, great." Ethan's face shrugged.
"Never mind, buddy. I'm a good cuddler." Matt patted him on his shoulder.
"Oh, sure. Your arms are definitely the ones I was hoping to lie in tonight." Ethan playfully jabbed Matt's belly. "Never mind, have your moment. We'll be making the most of our time together when they're gone. Won't we, Lily?" Ethan sauntered up to me and planted a soft kiss on my cheek.
"Ha! Who laughs last!" Matt teased Eric and Ryan, who grinned. Eric hooked his arm around my neck, pulling me in for a kiss upon my temple.
"Come on, let's get you situated." I grinned, breaking up the goading and leading them to the only other vacant bedroom.
It used to be my brother's room, and I hadn't been much of an entertaining person, having guests over to the house and such. But when I met Eric's friends, I decided to clean it out just in case they needed somewhere to crash after they were done helping me. It's stripped bare of all my brother's things, just a bed in a room with tape marks where his posters used to hang and a sheer white curtain I took from my own bedroom. A tinge of sadness passed through me at the thought that he might have had a different fate if his male role models were anything like these four men. All of our fates would be different.
"See you tomorrow." I hugged and kissed Ethan and Matt.
"I'll try not to burn with jealousy, not being able to sleep next to you," Matt said, hugging me a little longer and a little tighter while no doubt glaring at Eric and Ryan.
"Trust me, you have nothing to be jealous of. All I'm in the mood for is sleep and a hug," I said, needing to let my heart and body believe that Terri was gone from my life for good.
My body was heavy, and the walls blurred together as I made my way to my mother's room, sending Ryan and Eric ahead of me, to bed. She startled as I flicked the bedside lamp on, her eyes popping open with the switch. Of course, she didn't turn her head to look at me, and I couldn't be sure whether she's awake because she's triggered by tonight's earlier events or if her sedative had worn off. After checking her pulse for a racing heartbeat, or any sign that she's agitated, I administered another dose of her sedative and climbed into bed next to her. Holding back my tears, I wrapped her cold, unmoving body in my arms and communicated to her that everything's going to be okay, before kissing her thin cheeks.
Longing for warmth and reassurance of my own, I headed to my bedroom to find Ryan and Eric already asleep. As I settled in between them, they wrapped their arms around me, and our legs locked together. One kissed the top of my head, and the other pulled me closer, smiling into me. Tangled up in their embrace, the continuous buzz of my body grew mellow, and I'm convinced that I'm safe after all.
"I'm so happy you guys are in my life," I muttered into the night, grateful to them for pulling me out of the black hole my father created.