6. Mila
Mila
Dear Diary,
Something really weird happened today. Ryker asked me what I thought love meant.
Like seriously. For a few seconds, I thought he was trying to tell me he loved me, but I don’t think he was.
I think he was trying to talk to me on a deeper level, like I was an adult or something.
I said that love is loving someone so much that you think of them before yourself.
He then asked if I thought that was truly possible.
I said, of course. Then he just nodded and said I’d grow up one day.
I have no idea what he meant by that. But I think he was saying he doesn’t believe in love.
That makes me sad. For him and me. I think that’s a sign that I’m growing up.
Scary, but true. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t screw his brains out if I had the chance.
Ha ha ha, I got that term from a book Lara’s been reading.
I don’t really know where it came from. How can you screw someone’s brains out?
I’m not sure, but maybe one day Ryker will teach me.
And maybe I can teach him how to fall in love. One can wish!
Mila
XOXO
Present Day
“So, fun fact, Barbie just barged into the bedroom with Ryker and me and demanded to talk to him,” I said as I walked back into my bedroom. Lara sat up with a curious expression and a glint in her eye.
“So, what did she want to talk to him about?” she asked eagerly.
“Well, I can’t read minds, and she asked me to leave before she started talking, so I have no idea.
” I shrugged and sat on the bed next to her.
My mind was spinning, and all I could think about was Ryker asking me if he could come and get me for anything.
What did that mean? What was anything? Was he insinuating sex, or was he talking about something stupid, like doing his laundry?
I could still remember the time he’d come home with Parker and offered to pay me ten dollars to wash and iron his clothes.
The sad part was that I’d accepted his offer gladly.
I’d held his shirt to my face like it was some sort of trophy, and then I’d sniffed under the armpits and nearly gagged.
Maybe that wasn’t the smartest idea I’d ever had.
Ryker may have been the college boy of my dreams, but I wasn’t sure he’d known much about deodorant in those days.
“You should have listened outside the door, duh,” Lara said. “Haven’t you learned anything from working in corporate America?”
“Um, I was a receptionist, and now I’m basically an assistant.” I shook my head at her. “I wasn’t exactly in the boardroom discussing merger and takeover plans.”
“You guys are merging?” Lara asked in a surprised tone.
“I don’t really know what’s going on. I don’t think we’re merging with anyone.
” I bit my lower lip, my head thudding. “I don’t know that business is going great.
You know how this economy is. I know Dad and Parker have been worried.
That’s most probably why Parker is working late tonight.
I think they were going to go over the books.
I’m sure things are fine, but I’m not exactly in the know. ”
“Oh no, Nonno must be so upset.” Lara looked sad.
“Yeah.” I bit my lower lip and sighed. “I’m not sure he really knows what’s going on.” I leaned back on the bed. “That’s why I feel guilty about asking for an advance. I’m sure Parker will have something to say about it.”
“I’ll lend you whatever you need. Just pay me back next month.”
“You don’t have to do that.” I shook my head, feeling guilty. I didn’t want to borrow from Lara. Nonno had always told me never to lend or borrow from a friend. And his advice was usually spot-on.
“I know that, but I want to,” Lara said with a smile. “That’s what friends are for.”
“You’re too kind.” I moved over on the bed closer to her. “Do you think I’m making a mistake going after Ryker?” I asked softly. “Am I a horrible person going after a guy who is kinda seeing someone?”
“Not when that someone is Barbie.” Lara shook her head. “And not when the someone you’re after is Ryker Walker. You’ve wanted him for years. I don’t see anything wrong in you going after him.”
“Isn’t that going against the girl code?” I made a face. I didn’t think I owed Barbie anything, but I also didn’t want to be one of those shady girls who go after what they want without even thinking about the other person.
“Maybe.” She shrugged. “Though it’s not like Barbie is honoring any girl code. She’s horrible. I don’t know what any guy sees in Barbie. She’s a bimbo.”
“That’s what they see and like.” I sighed. “Big boobs and pouty lips.”
“Ugh, I don’t even want to think about her.” Lara made a face. “Let’s go into the living room. Maybe we can figure out dinner; I’m hungry.”
“Yeah, I could eat something as well.” I nodded, and we headed out into the living room. “I was thinking maybe ribs or something.”
“Ribs would be divine.” She nodded eagerly. “Ooh, and some pulled pork.”
“And smoked sausage,” I said, my stomach growling. “And banana pudding for dessert.”
“Oh, man, remember that banana pudding we got from Magnolia Bakery when we went to New York? It was so good.” Lara licked her lips.
“Um, how could I forget?” I said, my mind going back to the drizzly day that had changed my life—well, not really my life.
It had changed the way I felt about banana pudding.
It had gone from an okay dessert to a ‘where have you been all my life’ dessert.
“That’s why I said I want it tonight,” I said, and I went quiet as I heard footsteps heading toward us.
“I could kiss you all night long.” Ryker and Barbie walked into the living room with their arms around each other.
All happy thoughts of banana pudding fled my mind.
I tried not to gag when I saw Barbie’s hands in his hair, pulling at the ends of his dark, silky tresses.
“I could kiss you and touch your hair all night.” Barbie almost purred as they stepped next to the fireplace and stood there.
“Yeah, yeah, we heard you the first time,” Lara said, giving them a disgusted look.
“Well, don’t you have good hearing?” Barbie said as she turned around. She gave me a pitying look and then turned back to Ryker. “I’m hungry. Let’s go and eat.”
“Sure.” He nodded, the smile on his lips not quite reaching his eyes. In fact, his eyes looked like he was slightly turned off. I tried to make eye contact with him, but when he finally looked into my eyes, he looked like he was having the time of his life.
“You girls hungry as well?” Ryker asked.
“Is that even a question?” Lara looked at me and laughed.
“Yeah, Ryker, was that a real question?” I smiled at him, though I was feeling anything but happy as I watched Barbie run her hands down his back. “Of course, we want to eat.”
“So, I guess this means the romantic dinner you promised me is off.” Barbie’s voice sounded annoyed, and she pouted. “You’ll have to make it up to me tonight.”
“Of course, baby,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine as he grabbed Barbie around the waist and kissed the side of her face. “I’ll make it up to you all night long.”
“You’re a pig,” Lara verbalized what I was thinking.
“Well, do you want this pig to feed you or not?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Let’s go,” I said, wishing I hadn’t spent so much money on the lingerie.
What had been the point? I wasn’t going to have an opportunity to try to seduce him.
It wasn’t as if I were going to slip into his room, knowing he and Barbie were going to be getting it on. It made me sick just thinking about it.
Lara and I sat in the back of the car on the way to the restaurant.
We sat in silence, like two petulant kids whose parents had told them off for something.
I stared at the back of Ryker’s ear, and all I could think about was how much he annoyed me.
It was quite astonishing that I could love him as much as I did, knowing I couldn’t stand him so much at the same time.
It was how I knew I was really in love with him.
No mere crush would have kept my attention for so long.
Not for someone like Ryker, someone who frustrated me so much that sometimes I just wanted to bang my head against a wall.
“So, your dad is Hudson Walker?” Barbie said as her fingers ran up and down Ryker’s thighs.
I wanted to reach forward and slap her hand away.
My heartbeat seemed to be in sync with her fingers because as her fingers got closer to his crotch, my heartbeat increased, and as they slid away, my heartbeat got slower.
“Yes,” Ryker said, his tone making it clear that he didn’t want to talk about his father any further.
“He’s really handsome,” Barbie said, her voice light and giggly. “And rich.”
“No shit,” Lara said from next to me, her tone irritated. Lara really didn’t give a shit what Barbie thought about her.
“So, you work for him?” Barbie continued, ignoring Lara.