17. Ryker
Ryker
I walked out into the rain a few hours after I’d given her the contract because I couldn’t stop myself from wondering what she was thinking, and worrying if Lara was trying to convince her not to go ahead with it.
I was also still pent-up from not having fucked her.
I’d been shocked when I’d found out she was a virgin.
I still felt tense about the fact that she wanted me to take her virginity.
Tense and proud. I wanted her badly, but I also wanted to stop myself from doing something that I shouldn't. I had been about to cross the line. I’d been inside of her.
My mind had been so foggy, but I hadn’t wanted to continue.
I hadn’t wanted to take her. Not then, not like that.
I had to make sure I didn’t cross the line.
Though I had to admit to myself that I could barely see the line anymore.
It had become blurred in my mind. I was becoming caught up in my own trap.
I was worried that I was going to give Mila four weeks, but she was going to try to hold me to more.
I didn't know which way was up anymore. All I knew was that she was the guiding light in my sky.
She was the beacon calling me home. And home was where I wanted to be.
The only problem was that I knew that once she entered my reality and found out who I really was, the dream she had of me would end.
And, oh Lord, I didn't know if I was ready for that. I knew that I needed to be myself with her. I needed to show her the side of me that I’d kept hidden.
And that meant taking a risk. Step one had started last night.
In the lake. She’d had no choice but to succumb.
I knew as soon as I’d touched her that it would give me the upper hand, but at that point, I didn't care.
My body craved her too much. I needed her as badly as I needed air.
I headed toward the lake, even though I knew I shouldn’t. I should wait for her to come to me. I should wait for her answer. I knew that I should, but I wasn’t going to.
She sat there, with her feet in the water, not doing a thing, and all I could think was that this woman had changed my life. She’d changed the very universe I lived in—not by her actions or words, but with the curl of her lips as she smiled and the light in her eyes when she gazed upon mine.
“Ryker?” she said as she glanced back, her voice like a Beethoven symphony to my ears.
“Yes, Mila,” I said, walking toward her, my feet knowing the path to her body, while my heart still searched for the path to her soul.
“I didn’t hear you come out,” she said, standing up and turning toward me. Her hair fell forward as she bent down to brush something off her leg.
“I guess there are many things you didn’t hear,” I said and paused to take in her face, trying to memorize every inch for the time I wouldn’t be with her.
“What else didn’t I hear?” She frowned at me, looking confused.
You didn’t hear the sound of my heart breaking when I lied to you, I thought as I stood there.
My heart wanted to tell her all the things in my head, but I knew I couldn’t.
You didn’t hear the feeling of shame that fell to my stomach when I asked you to pretend to be my fiancée.
You didn’t hear the excitement in my veins as I thought about waking you up every morning with my own special alarm clock.
“Ryker,” she said again and stepped forward. “What else didn’t I hear?”
“You didn’t hear the sound of your clothes coming off when I told you to get naked.” I touched her shoulder, not able to resist her.
“You didn’t ask me to get naked.” She blushed then, a delicious pink-red hue that reminded me of her innocence. The feeling both delighted and destroyed me.
“That’s because I don’t ask, I tell,” I said gruffly, and my eyes narrowed as I stared at her.
“Take your clothes off and get naked.” I stared into her eyes, a fire burning in my soul as I commanded her to give herself to me completely.
Once again, I could feel my world shifting as she stood there considering her next action.
I knew what she was going to do. I knew, and I wasn’t going to stop her.
That was the magic of the situation. I was changing her life, just as much as she was changing mine.
The only difference was that I knew she would hate me once she found out.
Then I laughed and put my hand on hers. I had to laugh to let her know that while I wanted her, I wasn’t going to let it consume me. I wasn’t going to let my want for her body make me act irrationally. I needed to get her answer first.
“Have you made your decision?” I asked softly.
“I don’t know what to do.” She bit her lower lip and shook her head. “What should I do, Ryker?”
“I can’t make your decision for you, Mila.
” My voice was deep, some might say husky, as I looked down into her wide eyes.
She was gazing at me with a question in her big brown eyes, and her lips were slightly parted as though her mind was already made up, but the words wouldn’t come.
“What’s your answer?” I asked abruptly, needing to know so badly that it was killing me inside to not know.
“Why are you doing this, really?” she asked me as she stepped toward me.
Her long blond hair hung around her shoulders, and small runaway wisps blew into her eyes.
I leaned over and moved them gently behind her ear.
She blushed at my touch, and I made sure to let my fingers linger on her cheek for a few seconds.
I could feel the heat emanating off her skin onto my fingertips.
“I want you to experience the happiness, the joy, the goodness that you deserve.” My voice sounded too serious, and I wasn’t altogether sure why I’d chosen those exact words. I wasn’t really sure why I was here, with her, about to do something I knew I shouldn’t do.
“I wish I could control what happens next,” she said, her voice breathless.
My heart stopped as I saw the emotion in her eyes.
She was letting me in, baring her soul to me in a naked, vulnerable way.
Her eyes reminded me of a young, innocent doe I’d seen in the woods one year when I’d gone deer hunting with a friend’s family.
I’d felt guilty then, and I felt guilty now as well.
“There’s not much that is going to happen next.
” I sounded harsher than I’d intended. I didn’t know how to tell her that I was mad at myself and not at her.
She wouldn’t understand the inner turmoil I was in.
“We’re going to kiss, and then you’re going to dump that loser of a ‘boyfriend.’” I put my hands on her waist and stilled them from going higher.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” she squeaked out as she closed her eyes and lifted her lips up to me, waiting.
Her shoulders were thrust back indignantly, and I stared down at the curve of her breasts and down to her long legs.
She’d grown into a beautiful young woman.
A very beautiful young woman that I knew I shouldn’t let myself indulge in.
“You’re damn right he’s not,” I growled before bending down and lightly pressing my lips against hers.
They were so soft and sweet, and she kissed me back eagerly as her fingers fumbled with my shirt.
I grabbed her hands and clasped them in mine as I deepened the kiss, allowing my tongue to enter her mouth and taste the delicate hint of freshly picked strawberries that she’d just eaten.
She moaned as I sucked on her tongue and my hands moved up her waist, making their way up to her bra.
All thoughts of Parker warning me to stay away from his sister were far from my mind.
“Oh, Ryker,” she said as she grabbed my hand and moved it up and pressed it against her breast. “Yes.”
“No.” I stopped and pulled back. Her eyes blinked open, and she looked at me with a bewildered and lost expression. She looked hot and flustered, and I loved it, though I kept my grin to myself.
“What are you doing?” She pouted. “Why did you stop?”
“You didn’t think it would be this easy, did you?” I said with a smirk, feeling hot and bothered myself. “Nothing happens until I get your decision.”
“But I just can’t pretend to be your fiancée, Ryker. That’s not right.”
“You can’t?” I said, allowing my fingers to trace the curve of her lips. “Or you won’t?”
“I read the contract,” she said and swallowed. “What you’re asking—it’s too much.”
“For you or for me?” I asked, my eyes never leaving hers.
“What’s four weeks, Mila?” I asked as I pushed the tip of my finger into her mouth and watched as she sucked it gently.
I could see her mind racing. She had no idea what to say or do.
I’d beaten her at her own game, and she knew it.
Now I was ready to take my prize. And I was going to take it whether she became my fake fiancée or not.
I knew that for a fact as she nibbled on my finger.
She’d driven me to the brink. I needed to have her now.
I didn’t care about anything else in that moment.
“Ryker, what you asked, well–”
My lips crashed down on hers to stop her from speaking as my hand crept over her breast. My other hand moved down to her shorts to unzip them.
I was going to take her in the lake. It would be fitting.
And then, before I was about to fuck her, I would make her answer me and tell me yes.
She’d say yes, and then I would take her, in the water, in the most primal fashion. And we would become one.
“Hey, Mila.” Lara’s voice was heading toward us, and I froze. “We’re getting ready to leave. You ready?”
I swore under my breath and stepped away from Mila as Lara came into focus. Her eyes narrowed at me as she stared at the two of us, and I knew that she knew what was in the contract.
“Let’s go, Mila,” she said, and I could tell she wanted to say something else. “Parker wants to tell you something before he leaves.”
“Okay.” She nodded and gave me a small smile as she headed toward her friend. “We have to go now, Ryker.”
“I’m going to get your answer sooner rather than later, Mila,” I whispered as she walked past me. “And when I do, you’re not going to know what hit you.”