26. Ryker
Ryker
TWO YEARS AGO
“I want a relationship.” Heidi’s whine was irritating my ears. “I want to be your girlfriend.”
“I told you I’m not looking for a girlfriend,” I said matter-of-factly and checked my watch to make sure that I hadn’t missed the beginning of the game.
“Ryker Walker, did you just check your watch?” Heidi pouted. “Do you have somewhere to be that’s more important than this conversation?”
“Honestly?” I asked her, wondering if she realized just how honest I was.
“Yes,” she said, her eyes looking into mine with a surprised expression.
“Okay, well, I told Parker I’d watch the game with him tonight, and kickoff is in twenty minutes, so I kinda have to leave soon.”
“But you just got here an hour ago.” She looked incredulous. “What was this? A booty call?”
“I’d have to be getting some booty for that.” I winked at her, but she didn’t laugh.
“All you want me for is sex,” she said, as if that was just dawning on her. I wasn’t sure why she was so surprised. I wasn’t sure why any girl was surprised when they realized I didn’t want a relationship. I never told them anything different.
“I like you, Heidi,” I said, giving her a weak smile. “I’m just not in a position to be in a relationship right now.”
“What position is that, Ryker?” she growled. “The position of being an adult? The last time I checked, you were one.”
“I don’t want a relationship,” I said honestly. “And if I did, it wouldn’t be with you.” I shook my head to myself as the words came out. They were true, but I knew they were hurtful.
“You’re a dirty, rotten bastard.” She held back the tears that were forming in her eyes.
That was the first time a woman had called me that, at least to my face, and to be quite honest, I agreed with her.
I wondered if I could make it out of her apartment before she started crying.
I really didn’t want to have to waste time comforting her.
“I really liked you, Ryker,” she said plaintively, reaching forward and grabbing my hands. “I can help you. You can tell me anything, Ryker. I can help you get through your issues.”
“I don’t have any issues.” I sighed and pulled my hands back.
This conversation was becoming irritating.
Heidi really didn’t get it. If she wanted me to stay, there was basically only one thing she could do right now, and that was to pull my zipper down and take me into her mouth, and even then, I’d be resistant to staying, now that I knew she wanted a relationship and was in the “pleading for it” stage.
There was nothing worse than a normally confident and attractive woman begging me for a relationship, when she knew I didn’t want that.
I wasn’t sure what it was about women that made them think that they could sleep with a man enough times to make them commit.
Didn’t they realize that a man wanted more than some ass to commit to someone?
So many times, I wanted to tell these women that just because they let me fuck them up the ass or in some back alleyway, that wasn’t making me respect them.
And the attempts to pull out my cock and suck me under the table at restaurants were too numerous to count.
I wasn’t sure what manual women read that made them believe that sex was a way to a man’s heart. But it needed to be updated.
“So, you’re just going to leave?” She pouted at me.
“That’s it?” Tears rolled down her cheeks, and I sighed.
I really didn’t have time for this. “You’re just going to leave me like this?
” She pursed her lips, and her hands reached down to my zipper.
“I want you to stay, Ryker.” She slipped her fingers inside my boxers, and her slightly cold and trembling fingers ran along my shaft.
“I see,” I said, and I contemplated staying for another hour when I heard my phone beeping.
I grabbed it from my pocket and saw Parker’s text message.
Dude, just a heads-up: Mila and Lara are coming over as well, so don’t plan on bringing any weed.
I stared at the text, pulled Heidi’s hand out of my pants, and took a step back.
“Sorry, Heidi, it’s just not going to work out.
” I gave her a nod and walked over to her front door.
“Bye,” I said as I opened the front door and hurried out of her apartment.
My mind was off Heidi as soon as I opened my car door.
There was only one woman who had any part of my mind.
And that was the one woman I would never let myself have.
Present Day
The smell of honeysuckle hit me as soon as I opened my front door. It wafted through the air as I made my way into the hallway. The smell was unfamiliar, but sweet and homey. My apartment was slowly becoming a real home, and it was a weird feeling to suddenly realize that.
“Honey, I’m home,” I called out, feeling my mood lift as I looked around the living room.
Mila had added a few homey touches since she’d moved in a week ago, and I was pleasantly surprised at how cozy my place seemed.
Everything had been going smoothly, and I was enjoying coming home to her.
It almost seemed like I was in a movie, with the happy wife and the perfect life.
All we were missing were the kids and a golden retriever.
Oh, and living in true happiness and bliss, of course.
Our happiness was predicated on a lie, but I was trying to forget that fact.
“Hey.” Mila’s voice sounded happy as she came running out of the kitchen toward me. “You’re home.” She ran up to me and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the lips, her cheeks rosy pink and her eyes sparkling with happiness.
“I am,” I said and kissed her back, my heart feeling odd as I gazed at her. “I see you did some shopping.”
“Just some small stuff.” She waved her hand around the apartment and realized just how much she’d transformed my place.
There were flowers everywhere and lots of new knick-knacks, like vases, little pots, and containers with candles and candy.
She’d also added some new art to my walls, bright, colorful Picasso prints that popped and made the room seem grander.
There was a new throw blanket on the couch that she’d gotten; it was made of alpaca wool, and it was gray and soft, and even though I didn’t know what an alpaca was, I enjoyed the feeling of it covering us when we lay on the couch together.
I was a man and would never admit to it, but I liked the small luxuries that she’d brought to my life.
“I have a new couch coming as well.” She bit down on her lower lip and looked up at me from under her lashes.
“You have a new couch coming?” I asked her, laughing at her joke.
“I’m not joking, Ryker.” She smiled. “Don’t be mad.”
“You seriously have a new couch coming?” I asked her, my eyes searching hers, and I could tell from her expression that she was dead serious. “What’s wrong with my couch?”
“Leather? Dark, sticky leather?” She made a face. “So unattractive.”
“It’s comfortable.” I shrugged, still not quite believing that she’d actually purchased a new couch. That was a huge purchase, and I really felt taken aback. I’d never expected Mila to get that comfortable in my place. I both liked and hated it.
“It’s not cute, though.” She wrinkled her nose as she looked over at my most prized piece of furniture. “And there are no throw pillows.”
“It’s soft enough not to need throw pillows,” I said and looked at my couch longingly. “Plus, we have an alpaca throw blanket now. Isn’t that enough?”
“No, Ryker.” She shook her head.
“When will it be leaving my abode?” I asked mournfully, wondering if I could hold some sort of funeral for the couch before it left. And the funeral would consist of us having sex on the couch in multiple positions. That would partially make up for her replacing it.
“Hopefully this weekend.” She looked at me nervously. “I told the store we’d pay extra for a fast delivery of the new sectional.”
“You did, did you?” I raised an eyebrow at her.
What had happened to the girl who was too timid to use my credit card?
She’d obviously disappeared. I was going to comment, but I stopped myself.
I had a feeling if I made a joke, she’d take it personally, and then maybe she really would stop using the card, which I didn’t want.
I liked that she felt comfortable enough with me now to not call me every time she wanted to charge twenty dollars for some silly purchase.
I had plenty of money, and I was happy for her to use it.
“Yeah, I wanted it to arrive in time for the dinner party. Make our home look more cozy to everyone.” She gave me a winning smile.
“Are you saying our home isn’t cozy?” I asked her, and she smirked at me.
She smiled, and I realized that I’d said “our home,” as opposed to “my home.” It was weird that I was starting to think of this as our home now.
I wasn’t sure how it would feel when she moved out.
How cozy and homey all her little knick-knacks would feel once she was gone.
I’d probably pack them up in a box and take them to Goodwill.
I wouldn’t want to be reminded of her time here.
Not once everything came out. It would remind me too much of all I’d lost.
“What do you think, Ryker?” she said, and then shrieked and ran back to the kitchen.
“What’s going on?” I followed behind her as she hurriedly opened the oven door.
“I’m roasting some potatoes, and I didn’t want them to burn.
” She pulled a tray out of the oven and placed it on top of the stove.
“You like herb-roasted potatoes, right?” She turned to me with a sweet smile.
“I remember you used to scarf them down when you’d come over.
My mom used to call you the potato monster. ”
“She did, didn’t she?” I laughed as I remembered all the meals that I’d eaten with her family. I’d never thought that one day we’d be here and she’d be cooking for me. “Her potatoes were the bomb.”