27. Mila #2
“I’m not being stupid.” He pursed his lips. “Do you know what you want to order, or did you even bother to look at the menu?”
“I think I’m going to get a steak. And lobster. And oysters. And caviar. And lots of champagne,” I said sweetly and then smiled. “You can afford it.”
“Funny,” he said as he looked at me, but I saw that he wasn’t able to keep a smile off his face.
“That’s me, one funny girl.” I grinned at him, determined not to let him ruin my good mood.
I stared at his handsome face, so serious, as he sat there in his smart business suit.
His eyes looked at me with a glint of judgment as if he were telling me off for talking with Will.
A part of me was delighted that he appeared to be jealous.
Another part of me was annoyed that he was acting like a bit of an ass, just because I was being friendly to another guy.
It wasn’t like I wanted the other guy. All I could think about was Ryker.
“Yes, one funny, sexy girl,” he said, and his hand reached down, grabbed my knee under the table, and his fingers started running up and down my calf.
“What’re you doing, Ryker?” My eyes widened at him.
“Nothing.” He grinned as his fingers moved up my legs again and he pushed against my inner thigh to gain access. I squeezed my legs together closer in response.
“Ryker.” I pursed my lips. “Stop it.”
“Stop what?” he asked, a wry smile on his face as he pushed harder between my legs and they fell apart slightly. His fingers took immediate advantage of the movement and ran up and down my inner thigh under my skirt. I held my breath as they drew dangerously high.
“You know what?” I frowned at him. “You just got here. Stop it.”
“Stop what?” He laughed and then looked away from me as a waitress approached the table.
“Hi, I’m Madeline. I’ll be taking care of you today.”
“Why, thank you,” Ryker said as he grinned at her. “I do enjoy being taken care of.”
“Then I’m glad I’m here.” Madeline flirted back with him and tossed her long raven hair back and pushed her ample bust forward.
She was gorgeous; her skin was smooth, and her eyes were a sparkling, vibrant blue.
She had fine features and perfect lips. And she was petite.
She looked like the perfect woman. Jealousy seared through me as I watched her stare at Ryker, and Ryker stared back into her eyes with a wide, genuine smile.
His fingers were still on my legs but were moving haphazardly as he glanced at her. My good mood vanished.
“Would you like a drink, sir?” she asked, her voice melodic.
“What would you recommend?” He leaned back and moved his hand away from my leg.
“What is sir into?” She leaned closer to him, leaning down and opening the menu in front of him. Her hair hung down, surrounding her face, and she looked into his eyes with a sweet, eager smile.
“Whatever you think I’d like.” His eyes teased her, and he licked his lips slowly. I froze at the obvious flirtation between them. My breath was coming fast, and my stomach was in knots as I sat there, being ignored.
“I think I’ll have a glass of water,” I said, finally speaking up. The girl straightened and looked at me with a sweet and pitying look.
“Sure.” She nodded. “Still or sparkling?”
“Still, thanks.” I bit down on my lower lip, feeling like I wanted to cry.
“Okay.” She nodded and then looked back over at Ryker. “And have you decided?”
“I’ll have a whiskey, neat.”
“Brand?” She grinned at him.
“Surprise me,” he said, and she giggled like a schoolgirl. I could feel my face flaming. I was embarrassed, upset, jealous, annoyed, and pissed off. How could Ryker flirt with this girl in front of me, like that? I guess it was the reality check I needed. He wasn’t interested in me at all.
“Okay, I’ll do that,” she said, tossing her hair back again and lightly touching him on the shoulder.
I looked away and tried to ignore the feelings telling me to slap her.
She was the sort of girl I knew was used to getting what she wanted because of her looks; I was pretty sure she wanted Ryker and didn’t care that I was sitting here with him.
She probably thought I was his secretary and not his girlfriend.
Though, technically, I wasn’t his girlfriend.
I was just the girl he was fucking and pretending to be his fake fiancée.
She walked away and then looked over at Ryker, who was looking at his watch. He then looked up at me with a slightly cold expression. “So, think of any exes today, or were you just hoping to meet a new guy to try in bed?”
“What?” I snapped at him, annoyed. How was he going to turn this on me?
“You seem to work pretty fast.” He shrugged, and I felt his hand on my leg again, even more aggressive than before. “I’m just wondering if you’re looking to compare fuck buddies or something.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I whisper-shouted. Where was this coming from?
“Just that you always seem to be thinking of another guy or chatting one up,” he snapped.
“What guys have I ever been chatting up?” I snapped back at him.
“Aside from that twat that was at the table with you?”
“We were talking.”
“Is that all you wanted?” he asked, his fingers pushing their way up to my panties. His finger rubbed against me roughly, and I gasped as my legs unconsciously spread to give him better access.
“Stop,” I said, my eyes watering as his fingers started to move into my panties.
“Is this what you want?” His finger rubbed my clit under the table. “It feels like it,” he said as he continued to rub me. I knew I was wet down there, and I hated myself for it. How could this be turning me on?
“No,” I said and snapped my legs shut.
“Okay,” he said, withdrew his finger from my panties, and then moved his hand back down my leg slowly.
I watched as his hand made its way back to the table, and then he placed a finger into his mouth and sucked on it slowly.
“Sure seems like you wanted it.” He looked at me; his eyes hollow as I watched him.
My face was hot with shame, and I looked away from him. Why was he being like this to me?
Madeline made her way back to the table. “Here’s your water,” she said, placing the glass in front of me. “And your whiskey, sir.” She placed it in front of him and stood back to watch him. “I can’t wait to see if you enjoy it.”
I wanted to shout at her to “Just move it, bitch,” but I didn’t. I just sat there, feeling even more inferior and cheap.
“Let’s see.” Ryker sat back, a wide smile on his face for the waitress, his eyes looking at her admiringly.
Gone was the cold, calculating look. And in its place, instead, was an interested, happy face.
I watched him pick up the glass and take a sip.
He swallowed slowly, and then he looked at Madeline in approval. “Very, very nice. You have good taste.”
“Thank you.” She blushed and ran her hand through her hair. “I’ll be back to take your food order in a few minutes.”
“Sounds great,” Ryker said. “Though maybe I’ll let you pick for me.”
“You’d trust me for that?” she asked with a huge smile.
“I’d trust you with a lot more than that.” He winked at her, and then I saw him give me a quick look, as if to see if I was paying attention. His eyes met mine, and he looked at me and studied me, before I turned my face away from him.
“Okay, I’ll be back,” Madeline said, and she and Ryker exchanged one last smile.
The look on Ryker’s face was one of teasing happiness, and it made my heart fall heavily.
The happiness and excitement that I’d been feeling earlier in the day was completely gone.
I’d been fooling myself, telling myself that Ryker wanted me and was falling for me as well.
This was nothing to him. I was nothing to him, and I never would be.
Ryker dropped me off after a very quiet dinner and said he had to go back to the office to do some work.
I nodded and got out of the car without even looking at him.
I felt completely broken and dejected. My spirits were low, and all I wanted to do was call Lara.
I couldn’t deal with Ryker treating me like this.
I couldn’t deal with being around him and not really having him.
It had never really hit me until that moment that there was never going to be a happily ever after with Ryker. He just wasn’t into me in that way. All he wanted was sex and to have a good time. I couldn’t even be mad. He’d never given me any reason to think any other way.
My body flashed hot and cold as I walked into his apartment, and I immediately walked to his bathroom and started running a bath. All I wanted to do was soak, cry, and get it out. Then I’d call Lara. Right now, I needed hot water over me.
I took off my shoes and started to take off my skirt and underwear.
Tears streamed down my face as I got undressed.
I grabbed my phone and clicked on my music icon to listen to some James Bay while I bathed.
I loved his music; it was emotional, and while I knew I should listen to something hard and more rock-like to get over my depressed state, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I stepped into the bath and sucked in my breath as the hot water burned me, but I didn’t jump out.
I deserved the pain for being such a dumbass.
I slowly sat down as the water continued to sting me.
And then the song, “If You Ever Want to Be in Love,” started playing through my phone.
The tears came even faster as I submerged myself fully in the water; the tears were for both my heartache and the scalding the water was giving me.